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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .      Home login  
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 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 1
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s . Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I never used to be concerned with age, in fact I would often seek relationships where I would be younger by a moderate degree. But now that I am in my 30's, youth carries a preference for me.

I think it has to do with the observation I've made - which is to say that maturity can vary for a lot of different reasons. So a good rule would be to make it less of a factor.

So how young is too young for any typical male in his early 30's? I would say any girl under the age of 22 would be too young. Which would make 22 or above acceptable/preferable.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 2
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/26/2014 2:02:48 PM

I never used to be concerned with age, in fact I would often seek relationships where I would be younger by a moderate degree. But now that I am in my 30's, youth carries a preference for me.


Actually you were always concerned about age.

The new thing you are feeling is that you are old, and now want to date younger while in the past you wanted to date older.

Date who you want, POF has a rule that if you are over 29 you can't date under 22, but the only rule society has is the age of consent.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 3
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/26/2014 2:06:03 PM
How could you possibly think there is a right or wrong answer to this question? The only right answer is are all parties involved of the age of consent. You have been very vague on what your observation has been, but I see you mention the word maturity. I really hope you arent basing someone s maturity on their age.

Good luck OP
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/26/2014 2:11:55 PM
Date whomever you wish to date.
In the words of Sonny LoSpecchio, "Nobody cares!"
If you're into it...and she is into it...then it is a good thing.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 5
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/26/2014 5:24:46 PM
I suggest you target 26 and above, only because that is the minimum age for a woman's brain to become fully developed. Why is this important? When a woman's brain is fully developed, she is making solid decisions (whether good or bad), knows what she is looking for in a partner, she is able to understand things in a perspective she did not have before, and has a sense of the kind of future she wants.

I'll have to find a case study or research indicating the average age in which most women end relationships after the 20s, because I wouldn't be surprised if it's onset of a fully developed brain. But I'm too busy right now to search.

You don't want to end up with a 22 year old who is likely going to change her mind about you by 25-26 years of age, when she finally "gets life as whole".

You're concerned about maturity, so I just gave you information that would help close the gap between those variables. It's not to assume that at 25-27 they will mature, but they'll have a better idea of the decisions they are making (for good or bad).
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 6
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/26/2014 7:16:49 PM
Always keep in mind that life is full of surprises. It laughs at our attempts to boil romance down to an exact formula. You might be looking for a younger woman and then be captivated one night by the sexiest, most interesting woman you've ever met who is ten years older than you. Age is a strange issue because we're not out there in the world like bouncers checking IDs before we engage with someone. It almost always ends up as an afterthought except on dating sites where we get asked to choose a range. My advice is to allow yourself to be open to life's surprises. It doesn't mean you should go looking to date a college student (or her mother) but that you shouldn't rule anyone out prematurely before getting to know them if there's mutual attraction.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/27/2014 1:55:13 PM

I think it has to do with the observation I've made - which is to say that maturity can vary for a lot of different reasons. So a good rule would be to make it less of a factor.


What a very ODD thing to say about this. Very oblique of you.

What that odd statement says to me, correct me if I'm wrong, is that you only want to spend time with IMMATURE young girls. You don't say why, and it might be pertinent to what you are asking.

Personally, because I am the protective, kick-bad-guys-in-the-sack type, I would say that with someone who comes off as predatory, that anyone more than a year younger is too young.

Why EXACTLY are you asking this anyway? Since no matter what, the woman in question will decide for herself whether to deal with you or not, why ask other people how young is too young? Is someone watching you, and deciding about the acceptability of your choices? Or do you imagine that how young you require on your profile will cause girls to turn away, who otherwise would knock your door down to get to you? An inheritance at stake, perhaps?

Why you want to know, is definitely pertinent to getting the answers right.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 8
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/27/2014 4:30:44 PM
19 was a big year for me...had a few guys in their 30's after me, and, quite frankly, I was more mature than any of them.

Wah wah.

Anyway, I would have never had gotten too serious with any of them, nor were they capable of it..when you still in college, 30 seems ancient.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 9
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/27/2014 6:27:33 PM
I met my ex-husband when I was 21. He was almost 25 and in my mind, I was dating an "older guy" lol and almost didnt want to go out with him because of that. Always wanted someone no older than three years. Over 3o would have been gross and impossible for me. I'm glad that at my age, the 20 and 30 year olds that I've dated never felt that my age was an issue, they never minded the age difference. But I realize that most men always want to go for younger. Oh well, to each their own.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 10
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/27/2014 7:02:44 PM
What Belle said. Below 27 is a higher risk group for an LTR.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 11
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/28/2014 12:08:49 PM
I think 22/23 is a good age minimum for an early 30s guy.
Once I hit my mid whatever decade, I've always payed more attention to the men the decade above mine. so the 40-50 crowd in my case.
Of course there's never necessarily any age restriction, but sometimes you need to set those search parameters to filter down from the hundreds of matches.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 12
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/28/2014 8:11:43 PM

What a very ODD thing to say about this. Very oblique of you.


I am simply saying that age doesn't necessarily reflect maturity level. So I shouldn't consider it a very reliable way to identify anything.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 13
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/29/2014 9:04:31 AM
I think 22/23 is a good age minimum for an early 30s guy.


OP...That number is the exact answer to the familiar formula of half your age plus 7.



Once I hit my mid whatever decade, I've always payed more attention to the men the decade above mine. so the 40-50 crowd in my case.


Us 40 somethings appreciate that.

There is another poster here who bashes us 40 somethings, though.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 14
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/29/2014 3:21:44 PM
A respectable system of values is more important than maturity in my book. But I do understand human brain development, I am a psych major. And I know that there are some reasons to consider it a good tool for measurement.

I have just met some moronic 25-33 year old women, and maybe that is causing me to lose faith in age a hardcap on minimum datable age. I've met some really intelligent young women at ages 19-23 in junior college through observation alone.

I just think age is to be considered, but not used as rule for avoiding aggravating relationships.

To that end I am not singling women out for their age, I am simply broadening my scope of potential prospects.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 15
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/29/2014 9:16:32 PM

There is another poster here who bashes us 40 somethings, though


because that person is silly :)
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 16
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/30/2014 7:10:21 AM

There is another poster here who bashes us 40 somethings, though.


- People over 40 dating, that's a laugh! They should quit while they are ahead and take up golf!
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 17
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/30/2014 10:03:18 AM


- People over 40 dating, that's a laugh! They should quit while they are ahead and take up golf!


I'll be there in two and a half years myself. Time for the nunnery.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 18
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 9/30/2014 1:49:19 PM
Look pank,

You're reading too far into this. If you look objectively, you can see how it makes sense. I have anecdotal evidence saying that women of all ages can be psycho. Women of all ages can be immature and self centered. And that women of all ages can be self sacrificing, and genuinely good people too.

If I mistakenly address only a certain age group that I think will be more mature. I miss the possibility of dating a women who is younger, and more mature, and who also has genuine intent.

All I am saying is that I will broaden my scope of datable women, despite my reluctance to do so - because age doesn't necessarily reflect what I am looking for.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 19
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 10/1/2014 7:35:32 AM
Go for it, but in real life.

I believe a significantly younger gal can behave *more* maturely than one closer to your age. A 22 year old might think she's outgrown the dudes her age, and she might be eager to play grownup.

The under 25 gals who date much older men typically eventually go back to guys closer to their own age. Bad for you if you seek a wife, good if you're not ready to settle and enjoy the revolving door of young babes.

One reason it makes sense for you to date girls in their early to mid 20s instead of your age: the biological clock. Women your age often have baby rabies!

Though I've passed 40, some gals in their 20s view me as a fellow young person. This past summer a group of college grad girls asked me several questions to screen me as a potential match for a single member of the group. At my last job a 22 year old treated me as a sexual being instead of invisible. She guessed my age at 10 years younger. She enjoyed communicating like an adult.

Not all young gals are gum - chewing, "whatever" saying, boy band obsessed, different wavelength creatures.
 dwmitch
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 20
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 10/1/2014 4:02:25 PM

So how young is too young for any typical male in his early 30's? I would say any girl under the age of 22 would be too young. Which would make 22 or above acceptable/preferable.


There's no objective answer to this question as long as it's in line with the legal statutes. I use to use my favorite niece's age as a cutoff. Anyone her age or younger was too young. Then when she got married I did some figuring. There's one year less of a gap between her and her husband (who isn't even a full year younger than me) than there is between my parents, and a 6 year gap really isn't that much once the younger of the two is in their mid 20s.

Now I just have one very simple rule regarding the lower end of the age range. If I was capable of getting a woman pregnant (and I don't mean the traditional route of finish high school, get married, and start a family. I mean any time after I became physically capable) when they were born they're technically young enough to be my daughter so they're too young.

I may have to rethink that, though. It served me well when the oldest a girl could be to technically meet that criteria was under 18, but now those girls are legally old enough to drink so if I'm still single in 4 years I'll have to come up with a different formula, maybe just set 25 as the lowest age.

As far as the high end, it's set at a static 30. I make no apologies for the fact that I want to start a family when (if) I get married, I've seen a lot of literature that says the chances of miscarriage goes up after 35 (which is something I don't think I could handle), so I picked a maximum age that would allow for a couple of years of courtship and a year or two of settling in before starting a family.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 21
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 10/5/2014 9:38:13 AM
CTRLvector, good catch! What's her age?
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 22
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 10/11/2014 8:36:24 AM
Thanks

She's 29, and we have the exact same sense of humor so shes a lot of fun too.
 willz1986
Joined: 6/1/2014
Msg: 23
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 12/9/2014 9:18:55 PM
I really appreciate this thread. Not always easy to know what is cool and what is not with dating. How do I dress now? Am I still cool? Have had some girls way younger than me and was self conscious, big time. In the end time stalls for none of us. Does it make me a pervert for being sympathetic of a 19,22 year old and where she is in her journey? Even if it's not sexual you will still b labeled. These girls liked me and I went with it. Thanks to you all, guess I will still get it while the getting is good! ;)
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 24
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Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 12/12/2014 7:14:08 AM
OP, since you are in your early thirties I would say a young lady between 19 and 25 would be suitable. Probably around 22 would be ideal since the ones younger than that are usually in college and not yet ready to settle down. If I were in my early thirties I would want a partner who would continue to be fertile for a number of years so that we could take our time in having children and then space them well.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 25
Seeking younger women when dating in my 30’s .
Posted: 12/12/2014 9:55:04 PM
Lol this old thread, thanks for the replies everyone.

But yeah I have no adversity to age, a few years older isn't a turnoff for me. But preferably a few years younger is what I used to strive for. In college I've met some amazingly intelligent women who happened to be really young, like 19-21. And I would never be in a relationship with a girl who so obviously lacks life and dating experience, but only for the fact that I know I could get attached to what is certainly not going to last or be significant to me.

And yeah some women/men just age well, so its not even an issue about physical attraction really. I've met older women who looked better than women half their respective age. People never believe that I am actually 31, which can be bad or good depending on preference. Some women like the heavy lumberjack type build, others prefer a more wiry type guy who is in shape.

But yeah im with your boyfriend, that initial drama of the learning curve is really something that I don't intend on facilitating, ever.
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