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 AUTHOR
 1grtlove
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 1
Profile review/help would be appreciated!Page 1 of 1    
Hello to all,

I have been here for more than a month and I don't get much interest in my profile. I wrote it as best I could to describe myself and my beliefs, but I am not sure if it's not just too long and too boring for most people? Perhaps I need to change my approach or writing style to get attention and I hoping to get some constructive criticism from this group.

Thanks
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/2/2014 8:58:04 PM
The dog photo would've been brilliant if it weren't so blurry. Unfortunately, your son is too young to date and there is no valid reason to have a beautiful child's face on an adult online dating site. For someone who claims to be intelligent, I'm shocked you'd do that. Give him his privacy.

At 50, you're still "undecided" about having more babies?

The Interests in that field are generic. If you replaced them with one or two-word specific examples, it would be a much more involving and descriptive field. What is Ect?

All a woman wants to know at this stage about your child is how many/how old/how often. You answered that. Any more than that and it sounds like you're interviewing for the vacant nanny job. Don't do that. If you are open to a woman who may have a child(ren) of her own, mention it.

The intense focus on finding a forever soulmate is too much too soon. Your intent should be self-explanatory. You can elaborate on the type of woman you'd like to meet in the event she may be considering contacting you first.

Actually, there is a lot of 'intense' stuff in the profile that would have me concerned as a hypothetical reader. Are you able to describe the things you are interested in without sounding obsessed?

Don't worry about 'too long' if you are looking for more than casual dating. At our age, the more clues you can provide for your viewer to find something in common, the better.

You are, of course, writing to women you find interesting, right?
 1grtlove
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 3
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 3:00:58 AM
Thank you for your comments they are appreciated, especially since you are the only person who took the time to review my profile!

Thank you
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 4
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 4:07:59 AM
ECT is an abbreviation for electro-convulsive therapy. I don't know what it is in your neck of the woods, but you might want to clarify.

***“I am well balanced (less crazy than the average person), financially secure, and emotionally available! Heck, I would even want to be with me! “***

It is good to have self-confidence, but the take away could be women thinking you’re arrogant or self-righteous. Society is crazy, and you’re probably less so, but that doesn't need to be said either.

What you could probably say instead is something like:

“I am well adjusted, financially secure, and emotionally available. To that end I have a lot to offer the right women, and I always pay attention to the little things that matter.”

You know, rather than saying you would want to be with yourself. Say something that women always look for in men. Explaining you're financially secure, well adjusted, and you pay attention to what matters gives more than the benefit of the doubt.

 1grtlove
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 5
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:24:08 AM
Thanks for the positve feedback. I will change my spelling error "ECT".

Although I did not intend to sound arrogant, I definitely see how it could be interpreted as arrogance. I really like your suggestions for a re-write.

Thank you
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 6
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:54:05 AM
Well swoon - insane handsome, and Martial Arts. Swoon again. But then I got to the text..
Firstly seems you already have your One great love, your son.. and everyone else is going to be a distant second. Fathers/parents are suppose to love their children.. ain't going to earn you a cookie.
But you make such mention of him I'd reckon he goes along on the first dates.. discards the women for various reasons. One can be an outstanding parent and yet still date!
In one of the photos you appear shirtless.. nah, never a grand idea.
Bit of a word salad. You don't have to crayon within the lines but it is easier to read say three paragraphs
Dislike the dog picture
Come up with a Header says something about your personality
Damn fine looking Man .. some mornings are just better than others :)
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 7
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:26:39 AM
Hello, OP,

Your profile doesn't flow. You're an educated man; compose your profile like one.

Women in your age bracket (I know the youngest you may contact here is at, the youngest, 36). Most of us have grown children or children pretty close to it and we may not be as open to dating somebody with younger children. This is something you'll have to accept; and maybe it's not just your profile that is the reason you're not getting as many contacts. On the other hand, A person at your age and position in life should not be worried about many contacts above quality of contacts, few as they may be. You should be considerably more selective because you're primarily responsible for your minor child. Ego dates are not what you need and it's not something that will be in the best interests of your boy.

I also agree with the aforementioned declaration that though your dedication to your child is admirable, it is really your responsibility and it's not particularly exceptional. To improve the opinion of fathers and their relationships with their children, you should not feed into the notion, 'as if,' that being a committed father is the exception and not the rule. This hurts the condition of many, many fathers who are as committed to their children as are you to yours. You are here, on this site, to find a love match, primarily.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 8
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 12:11:11 PM
Get rid of the gym selfie. You have enough other pics that show you are in shape.
Interests: get rid of "my son". Ect is not an interest.


I am intelligent, clever,
Egotistical. Show through writing, not declaring it.


Most of all, I am a father, my biggest job ever and my greatest pleasure! I am passionate about everything I do, but my greatest passion is my 8 year old son and I am blessed to have him with me often.

I love my son above all else because I am a father and a father loves his children above all else.

Did I mention I love my son above all else? Yep! I did please see above..
You are dad of the year.


I provide all I can for my mother, because she provided all she could for me and if I cannot treat my mother with love and support, how can I ever hope to treat any other woman in my life with love and support.
You are son of the year.
Comes off as bragging. A humble person who takes care of his own is worthy of respect.


Sometimes it harder to be random than to be organized......and it is very difficult to be organized....
More random thoughts to come later, on some random day, at some random time, randomly! ”
Doesn't sound very intelligent.
 Iam_RFSF2014
Joined: 9/4/2014
Msg: 9
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 12:24:34 PM
What do you mean 'don't get much interest in my profile'?

Have you not gotten many views? Not many messages? Or do you message women and they don't respond after viewing your profile?

I agree that your focus on your son, while absolutely where it should be IMHO, may make some women feel like you aren't for them. Good to note you have a son and value him, that he's a priority but I agree to take the picture of him off (you can always share it later with a woman once you know she's trustworthy and interested).

I suspect some of your 'humor' may not be striking a chord - humor is sometimes harder to convey in this venue.

I'd take about half of the bullet points out myself, particularly any that are repetitive.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 2:56:33 PM
Main photo looks like you are about to attack the person holding the camera, do you never smile?

Women respond far more to men who smile in their photos, especially the main, it makes you look happy, fun, and like you actually want to be here.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 11
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 4:52:07 PM

I have been here for more than a month and I don't get much interest in my profile.




Gee whiz, a whole month, and your mailbox isn't full yet?



I see you don't have breasts, that explains it!

Women get full mailboxes.
Guys, we fill those mailboxes up.

So, really you should be looking for replies
to messages that you send out.

After viewing your profile from top to bottom.
I may have stumbled upon a significant
omission on your part,
in the "First Date" section.



First Date
You and me getting to know each other.

The place is not so important




I think "the place" could be very important!
What did you have in mind?
That's the real sixteen dollar question of the day.

Meet at.....
Starbucks.
In the lobby of your gym.
At McDonalds.
Out in the woods late at night?
A swanky nightclub.
Corner bar.
The cute little Italian place on Main St.
In an abandoned building.
The back of your van,
(Hey! You have a mattress in there.)


Lots of places you could mention.
Have no idea
which one
you might pick.

That leaves people guessing.
There aren't enough good guessers,
to rely on that particular tactic.

Elaborate about the place you would like to meet.
Most people don't like surprises on a first meet-date.
 1grtlove
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 12
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 4:58:23 PM
Thank you for the critique and the compliments (at least I think they were compliments) :)
I do have a great love for my son, but maybe I mention it too much.
I looked at my photos and you can't see my shirt off in any of them (I would never put a shirtless pic up) but I edited the photo so that only my head shows.

Based on your opinions, and others, it sounds like I need a basic re-write of some material. Thank you for taking the time to share your comments.

Reggie
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 13
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:21:00 PM
Oh, Mine was a compliment.. you know we can tell if you are shirtless
I think you are sincere and wish to find someone to be solid with, but cross heart it came across just too much
Shoulders. we can see the shoulders
Marital Arts pretty broad.. perhaps mention exactly what
Given that all the women here ( not your target age group but still)
Felt the same way = I'd vote yes a re write is in order
Your boy is adorable,, but until we have that connect we dating you, not him. You don't want to have every single date meet him do you Reggie? Course not.
First date is the first meet... pick something easy and don't be a target for meal whores.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 14
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:20:30 PM
Please do post back to this same thread when you've done some editing.
 1grtlove
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 15
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/4/2014 6:35:50 AM
Thanks again for all the help!

I do actually although I can't find a photo of me smiling anywhere! lol

I will do a re-write and post it again.

Thank all of you again for all the comments.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 16
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/4/2014 7:44:40 AM
Hi Reggie, not sure if you will see this as you made the last comment and appeared to be off to do the re-write.

I read all the suggestions, and must say I thought all of them did you right.

I also noticed, unless I missed it, that nobody suggested the profile tips at the top of the forum page in green, there are some very good tips in there.

Another thing you may find helpful before doing the re-write is to go through a few of the other profile reviews, it may help to see the progression from initial request to finished product.

I strongly suggest paragraph form rather than bullet point form, it is much easier to read. Think three solid paragraphs, the first explaining what makes you different than the other men on here. Use your unique personality traits to accomplish that.

Second should be the things you are passionate about.

The third would be which unique personality traits you find most attractive in a woman.

Post back to THIS thread when finished and someone will help you make adjustments.

Best wishes

Jerry
 2015LadyLove
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 17
Profile review/help would be appreciated!
Posted: 10/5/2014 2:35:13 PM
Here is my question: If you were lucky to go on a date for a coffee, lunch, etc. Would you be dressed in no shirt or a tank for that date?

The picture that is missing is you full length "dressed" for a date and with a SMILE!
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