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 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 1
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In need of reviewingPage 1 of 1    
Hello to the resident reviewers.

Just joined up here and I figured my page needs a few second opinions. Please be objective in your critiques, and maybe try to not shoot me down!

I'll be honest, the vast majority of people in my age bracket don't write very much in their profiles, so it's a bit frustrating when I'd like to share a bit more. Am I putting myself at a disadvantage by laying it all out like this?

I tried to be brief while still including key interests/details about myself, yet still opening myself up to discussion. I left some of the niche interests inside the 'Interests' tag section. Even so, it all still looks a little bloated to me (at least by early 20's standards - please keep this in mind). It may still be missing some things, by your standards. I see that it is mostly about what I like and like to do, and the idea is that you can infer my character through this - but do I need to toot my own horn a bit more?

Also, I'm not sure how well received the first and last few lines of the 'About Me' will be. It's hard to be forward about myself without being too forward!

Emoticons? Exclamation marks? I tried to limit these where possible, but I still don't want it all to sound bland by excluding them.

I aimed for some level variety in my pictures. Although one doesn't have my face in it, I thought it was a great example of me doing what I like doing (Don't tell me it's not a pretty picture, you'd be lying).
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 2
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 4:48:56 AM
All your pictures are bad, you look devoid of personality, expressionless, bored, depressed, upset... maybe your first one is passable.

"cute stuff" in your interests is bad, saying it twice in your profile makes you appear effeminate. Remove the last thing you wrote about itching to share interests. Women won't be messaging you, you will be doing the messaging as a man, because thats how POF works.

Itching to share, sounds like an STD lol
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 3
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:03:28 AM
I'd say your body type is average, but it's hard to tell since you have no clear head to toe shots.

I dislike the ear picture. You look so unfriendly and serious in it. You're doing something silly, but your expression makes it seem like you're being held against your will.

Wants children is a clear question. Yes, no or undecided.

Cute stuff is a lame interest.

Change the last interest to Jack Kerouac so it becomes searchable.

At first, I thought that first paragraph meant you're currently not in school. If the time off refers to your post graduate plans, then clarify. And put a definitive graduation date. December 2014? Spring 2015?

It's not memorable. I got to the end and all I remembered was that you're in school and have a picture of a dog that's not yours. Be specific. If you're not passionate about something, don't mention it.
 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 4
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In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:09:11 AM
Aww, not even pictures 3 and 5? I thought wearing 'funny' hats while trying to keep a straight face was the cool thing to do.

Point taken about the 'cute stuff', I figured a girl who likes similar things would take note, but I can see that it would turn others away (no mass appeal).

How do you suggest I round it all off? Seems odd to end it at my last bullet point.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 5
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:12:36 AM
Realize that what is funny to your friends doesn't always translate to what is attractive to complete strangers. Your friends know you and have context for that picture. A random woman online does not. She might think you're averse to silliness because of your pictures. Throw in a couple of more smiles. Don't make her wait until the date to see what your smile is like.
 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 6
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In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:26:36 AM

I dislike the ear picture. You look so unfriendly and serious in it. You're doing something silly, but your expression makes it seem like you're being held against your will.


Hmmm, I was very much willing. But I appreciate your input, I never thought of it that way.


Wants children is a clear question. Yes, no or undecided.


It's a bit daunting to answer this at early 20's, is it not? There is no 'undecided' option to select. I do want kids down the line (far far down), but I don't want some girl wondering on the first message/date "Hmmm, is this guy gonna father my children?" just because of what my profile said.


Change the last interest to Jack Kerouac so it becomes searchable.


I tried to kill two birds with one stone here to address the unaware - that I'm reading a book (*shock and horror*) and that it's by Jack Kerouac. I'm not expecting many POF users my age to know who that is, but anyone who does and cares can see it highlighted with it being unlinked, amongst the other linked tags.

The interests tags are a busted means of finding people anyway, imo. Sorry if I'm sounding resistant...
 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 7
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In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:38:16 AM
Oh, I swear there was no undecided/open option, but it looks like there is. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I'll just put 'yes' for now, it is what I want after all.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 8
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:40:36 AM
Unless POF is different in Australia, undecided/open is definitely an option for "want kids?". It is the option I selected. "Prefer not to say" conjures up worse mental images than a direct answer.

Then don't have any interests if you believe them to be pointless and that you are the special snowflake of your age group.
 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 9
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In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:03:46 AM
No I'm not trying to come off as some unique specimen through my reading choices, but please try to understand the utility of deliberately untagging the 'Interest' item. I tried explaining, I shouldn't have to argue over something so trivial! I've seen people do the same for reasons other than mine, but thank you for noticing it anyway. Better thorough than not at all.

Quite harsh to hear that it's all unmemorable, but I'll take it! It's gonna be hard to strike a balance between writing in prose and writing in lists, without sounding like a bore. I'll have to rethink my strategy.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 10
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:27:37 AM
Wow, the photos are really not helping. The'gorilla' photo is OK, but you need to smile or laugh in your main photo so your first impression is that you are fun, positive and approachable.

"Food" as an Interest? How about being a bit more specific, unless you are into gluttony? Do you have a favourite cuisine? do you enjoy Grilling?

Where you mentioned Travel, why not add a couple of the countries you've been to? It's those type of little details that will stick with your viewer and bring you out of the generic wasteland.
 sdes_
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 11
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In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:43:26 AM
I thought the pic of me in the striped t-shirt was OK for a clear view of my face, but I guess it's too mean muggin for POF!

I admit "Food" is a little ambiguous, so I switched it up a bit.

I left the travel part open to discussion because maybe someone will ask me about it? I mean I could list all the music I like as well, but that takes out all of the mystery, does it not?
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 12
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 8:40:49 AM
I see no personality in it whatsoever, THAT is what helps ladies form a connection, without it you are going to have a long hard road here.

The last bullet point is cliche, painfully obvious, or a combination of the two, that stuff causes eye bleeds, lose that.

It is never wise to ask the ladies to contact you, write a great profile and they will.

Best wishes

OFMM
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 13
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:25:21 PM

I left the travel part open to discussion because maybe someone will ask me about it?

I'll give you a bazillion dollars if anyone female ever asks you about it. EVER. Why not give her the specifics to a) stand out and b) give her something specific to find interesting?



I mean I could list all the music I like as well, but that takes out all of the mystery, does it not?

Don't recall asking you to list all the music you like, just maybe a couple of clues to again a) stand out and b) give her something specific to find interesting.

Are you sensing a trend yet? Your profile does not stand out and it is not interesting. YOU CAN FIX THAT.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 14
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/3/2014 6:56:15 PM
Haha, I guessed your intended profession exactly, after reading your responses here...before I even looked at your profile.
Embrace the suggestions (people here do know what they're doing) and discard what you can't use.

Providing information is not divulging the mystery that is you...hopefully you can't say everything about yourself in such a small space.
If what you have isn't working, can't hurt to try a new approach, right?

What is it about clothing that makes it an interest? Are you a fashionista? Do you make your own? Do you just like wearing?
I see you have a sense of humor...huge disconnect with your photos.
Pic are the most important part of your profile.

Saying you want children will be interpreted as "someday" and not "asap" hopefully.

Personally, I'm not a fan of the "bold" bullet points.
 2015LadyLove
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 15
In need of reviewing
Posted: 10/5/2014 2:44:13 PM
Remove all the picture except the current main one with the white shirt.

The two of you looking up into the camera are serial killer scary. They just cancelled out the good main picture, a girl will be "gone!"
Walking away from a viewer in the third picture, unless you have a great bum is never a good idea.
The final picture of you in the hat is a picture that should be in a photo album your Mum brings out to embarrass you with when you bring a girl home. Sorry dude it's not funny to a complete stranger.

The main picture is Great! add another full length and you're done :).
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