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Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 2
Please review my profile Page 1 of 1    
Hi OP, here are my suggestions.

Carnage for a username? Not likely to do you any favors, change that.

Headline: VERY boring, change that as well, something unique to your personality and or witty works best, the key is to be different.

I couldn't live without music! It's the greatest art in the world =D

Will you date a woman because she can't live without music? Or to put it another way is that the most important thing you need to have in common? Sorry, but the chances are slim to nil this will have the ladies swooning to date you, MOST say this in one way or another in their profile. I would just lose it completely, at very least bury it down lower.
The best openers tell the ladies what your unique personality traits are.

If you're looking for a man who will make you laugh, smile and enjoy being with then you've come to the right place :p

Lose the above and simply make them laugh, you will be seen as a BSer if you claim it but can't SHOW, if you can SHOW it there is NO need to proclaim it. delete

This is not a CV but I shall tell you a little bit about myself since you are still reading this now..

Useless, I call this thinking out loud. delete

I listen to a variety genre of music mainly rock and metal because it sounds badass!

Really? Music AGAIN? Give or take a few, 90% of the others your age listen to the same music, doesn't exactly separate you from the crowd.

I have a musical personality and by that I mean I play a great deal of guitar, Electric and Acoustic. (I'd like to play banjo because it will look so funny hehe)

Better! At least you tell them SOMETHING about you they can begin to build a connection with, move this to the top but lose the "hehe". If you think you need the "hehe" then it isn't funny.

I go to the gym as I like to keep myself fit and it feels great after a workout when you are sore and then you have to go to work complaint to your mate about it xD

Certainly not earth shattering, but okay, if you must.

I'm passionate about movies and films (so if you want a cuddle movie night I'm your guy) I love them so much I am pursing my career in filming, I'm hoping to work on the set of Game of Thrones.

A bit too soon for cuddles, lose that part.

I'd like to know what makes you different from the other girls as I want a girl who is unique and fun.

So you want unique and fun huh? Do you actually know a guy looking for one that is the same as and boring apparently?

But if you want know more about me you can send me a message on here, i look forward to it =)

Very unlikely you will see this fulfilled anytime soon with a ho hum run of the mill profile. Never ask the ladies to contact you, write a great profile and you won't need to ask, they will. delete
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 3
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 9:25:34 AM
While you're editing, replace the generic Interests with one or two-word specific examples for each.
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 4
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 11:04:14 AM
A Graduate degree at 21? Hmmm...
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 6
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 11:52:00 AM
You're very welcome Sam, post back to THIS thread if you want another round when finished, do NOT open another thread.

Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 7
view profile
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 1:44:29 PM
do you ever smile? You look sad and bored in every photo.

Studies have shown women respond more to profiles where the man is smiling, it shows you are fun, happy and you actually want to be here.
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 8
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 2:25:14 PM

I quite like your profile.
However your writing about making a woman smile and laugh is not shown in your photos.

Please have some smiling and happy photos.
I like your playing guitar and tree pictures.
Keep those - replace the others with happy smiling pictures showing yourself to be the happy person you are describing in your profile.

Also please replace Carnage with something happier.

If you do have a graduate degree at 21 perhaps you went to university early.
Are you a very smart person who was advanced at school and uni so got through your education quicker than the rest? If so say so.
If you do not have a graduate degree but are currently studying - please make that clear.
Or do you have an Undergraduate Degree? i.e. your first degree BA as an example.

Please correct your grammar and spelling mistakes.

Good luck.

Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 9
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/4/2014 2:25:47 PM
Hi Sam,

Generally (at least in the US), "Graduate Degree" refers to an advanced degree beyond a Bachelor's degree/4 year program, such as a Masters.

Given your age, I doubt the screen name will be a problem.

I like the music references and don't think it's too much...just keep the same topics together so it flows.

You have some grammar and punctuation errors, and you are a bit heavy on the smileys.

What do you do in your free time that would be of interest to a young woman?

You say you want a girl that is different, unique, and fun...what's your definition of that? What do you offer that is different and fun?
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Please review my profile