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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > I need a review of my profile.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Count_Dracula_00
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 1
I need a review of my profile. Page 1 of 1    
Been on here for quite a while. I would like to know how could I make my profile better than, what I have written. So, give me your honest opinions. I'm willing to take the evaluation. Reason being is that I don't know if my profile is good enough.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 2
I need a review of my profile.
Posted: 10/4/2014 11:14:28 AM
Hi OP, you have some good stuff in there, I do however think most are going to be turned off but what I suspect you think is your humor.

You begin with dracula, a blood sucker, then go into crazy, insane, hooka, at possibly others that have a negative vibe.

Remove ALL of that stuff, as well as all redundant or cliche text, at that point we will be much better able to help you.

Oh, and NEVER ask the ladies to contact you, write a great profile and you won't need to ask, they will.

Best wishes

Jerry
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 3
I need a review of my profile.
Posted: 10/4/2014 1:41:36 PM
Hi and welcome to the forums.

Please read the standard advice given to everyone.
1. Have smiling photos. Sorry but none of your photos has a smile.
You say do do not drink but have a photo drinking?

There are a couple of good pics - In your suit - you look very handsome.
Tree and striped shirt are also lovely pictures.
All you now need is a few with a lovely smile. Showing teeth.

2. Write a profile that is easy to read, is positive.
Again sorry but your profile does not meet this either.
Have more paragraphs rather than a block of text.
Paragraphs and spaces make it much easier to read.



Being specific. -

Hello fishes of the POF sea. It is me and I have come back to this sea cause my running away doesn't seem to help me much.
^^ Delete

I am currently living in Jersey which I must say it's been pretty interesting.
^^ Good
Wasn't really fond of Bridgeport all that much so, I moved here.

The things I like to do is to get lost in the wonderful city of NY,NJ or CT. I'm pretty good with directions like learning my right hand to my left hand. I also, enjoy watching movies and playing games whether it be board or video games.
^^^ Please be more specific - what type of movies.


Love to eat food cause I'm always constantly hungry and have a habit of jamming food into my mouth in most occasions.
^^ What is your favourite food?


I love my family even though we may have disagreements but, I still love them.

Finally decided to go into the finance world cause I always was interested in it. Kinda wasn't fond of the legal world and I seem to be going somewhat insane from it. I hope fall will treat me well, cause I really didn't have the greatest summer. Like to end my year on a high note but, seeing I'm on here I tend to be optimistic about my situation.

I would like to find someone that is outgoing,social and somewhat kind. It would be nice if she wanted to build a family and is family oriented.
^^^ Good. Perhaps reword to be more specific and personal.

Really don't enjoy meeting people all that much. I see enough people just me going outside to realize that.
^^^ Delete

If you are smart that a plus, since I love being challenged into things. Either conversations or having hot topics about general stuff. Funny is okay but, I'm not really into sarcastic humor. Kinda annoying when I hear people making jokes and all I do is give this blank stare. Finally if you love to talk that would be great. Cause I'm sorta introverted but, if you yap about something I have some knowledge in. I will give my opinion in. Physically I'll just keep that to myself cause when I mention it I sound like a crazy person. Oh, almost forgot not really into smoking hookahs or any thing that puffs smoke out of your mouth. (except for if you have asthma).

Well, thank you for reading me. If you want to view me well please do but, it would be nice if you let a little message. Well, signing out POOOF.

^^ Delete





A suggestion:

I am currently living in Jersey which I must say is pretty interesting, having recently moved from Bridgeport and changed industry from legal to the finance world.

I like exploring and getting lost in the wonderful cities of NY, NJ and CT.
Watching movies and playing games whether it be board or video games are also great.

I love my family and want to eventually build one of my own.
So I am looking forward to meeting and getting to know you, a kind, outgoing and social woman.

Being a bit introverted and a good listener I enjoy being around people who love to talk.
Who knows, hopefully we are the perfect match and will have a family together.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 4
I need a review of my profile.
Posted: 10/4/2014 2:48:38 PM
Hi Alejandro,

To be perfectly honest, it's awful.
I suggest tossing it all and starting over after reading the writing tips up top in green, and reading some reviewers' profiles.
Don't refer to women as fishies.
Don't use cliches.
NY, NJ, and CT are states, not cities.
Don't talk about jamming food in your mouth.
No negativity.
Watch the grammar errors.
Dogs yap, women don't.
Don't mention what you don't like or what you're not into.
You are introverted and don't like people, yet you are looking for an outgoing woman? How's that gonna work?
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 5
I need a review of my profile.
Posted: 10/4/2014 3:13:14 PM
I agree with Tater,but I'll add that your current main photo is unappealing. You look good in front of the red car, you have good body language, dressed nicely, good light, good smile. Take more pics that are of equal quality and post them here.
 Count_Dracula_00
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 6
I need a review of my profile.
Posted: 10/4/2014 3:49:30 PM
Guess I'll start from scratch. Thank you!
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