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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > OKAY! Give it to me      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 frankyyboi
Joined: 9/9/2014
Msg: 1
OKAY! Give it to mePage 1 of 1    
I am not to sure if I am going by this the right way or am I doing something wrong. What kind of got me at a halt with my profile, someone said to me that I had a attitude problem just by reading my profile, but really, I am not, just a guy who aint scared to stand my ground. Anyways, I could use some help with building my profile :) let me know of the do's and don'ts :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 2
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 11:37:54 AM
Boi in your name - young gay guy/transgendered/boidyke.. the list goes on. It is no doubt killing you
The final nail is having wtf in your Header. And whining at your target audience. Sigh
There.. gave it to you :)
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 3
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 11:40:58 AM
You need to take the "boi" out of your screenname. Your main pic makes you look like a boy too. I prefer the gray shirt one, but I would recommend you get a better headshot and remove the creepy smile. Are you a boy or a man? Any girl/woman looking at your profile will stop when they see "BUM" at the top. Just for starters....
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 4
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 11:56:05 AM
..... am I doing something wrong.



Do, add a few interests. They will show up in blue if spelled correctly.
Do, write something pleasant, under the "First Date" section. Keep it real.


Don't be the guy,
women have to guess
what he is like
even after
reading his whole profile.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 5
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 1:00:55 PM
That isn't going to cut it young man, check out the profile tips at the top of the page in green.

Actually write a profile, then post back to THIS thread and someone will help you tweak it.

Best wishes

Jerry
 frankyyboi
Joined: 9/9/2014
Msg: 6
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 2:00:03 PM
aside from changing my user name, I have updated my profile. What's up now
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 7
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 2:24:00 PM
Hi OP, honestly, did you read the profile tips in green? It certainly doesn't appear as though you did.

Jerry
 VirtuousDonkey
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 8
view profile
History
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 3:12:50 PM
The way you write about yourself gives the impression that your REALLY like talking about yourself and "consider yourself" something special. I think you should scrap it and try a new approach. Maybe talk about qualities you admire in a woman, it'll say more about you than listing your interests, eg. "I'm looking for someone who values honesty and integrity".

You should also have some pics other than selfies. Even if they're not great pics, it'll show that you don't live in a unibomber shack.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 9
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 3:16:59 PM
Hi Frank,

You need a suitable photo as the main...your bathroom no just no.
At 29 you still not sure if you want kids?
Spelling, grammar, punctuation errors. Lots of them.


I don’t care to change the world I live in but more or less change the world she lives in, including her family.
Huh? Does that mean you're taking her away from her family?


a laugh so disguisable, you can hear me from miles away,
What's a disguisable laugh?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 10
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/10/2014 6:50:57 PM
Typos. ow, my eyes...

You missed the Interests field entirely. Go for 6-9 one or two word items that describe your 'favourites'.

Yes, more photos.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 11
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/11/2014 12:03:35 PM
I have updated my profile. What's up now




I suggest immediate removal of the "bathroom selfie"

Or.

It needs a caption.....




For example:
Each time I flush the toilet,
I wash my hands thoroughly.
Then,
I take a selfie!
How do you like this one?


If you can maneuver the porcelain throne
into the picture,
that would tend to
"back-up" your claim
to fame.
Adding weight
to your picture.

One day, we can hope for
technology to invent
"smell-y-vision"
That will be awesome!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/11/2014 12:50:03 PM
You use the word LOVE too much
It is disjointed.. like you just tossed thoughts instead of being organized
You have some really bad spelling errors
You hoping for a harem? You want be be happy and grow old with Women? WOMAN.. you use women instead of women in your text.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 13
OKAY! Give it to me
Posted: 10/11/2014 3:58:05 PM
Please delete the bathroom selfie. Your face is barely visible. I much prefer the second picture. You have a great smile, don't hide it with a cellphone.

What's the big secret about having kids? Yes, no or undecided. Though some may argue you are too old to pick undecided, I say better to say undecided if you are truly unsure about whether you want to be a father some day. However, you mention having a family, which makes me think you already know you want kids. Realize that a "yes" doesn't mean you're going to start churning out kids on date 3. So if you know you want kids some day in the future, then say so.

You missed the interests section entirely. Interests are searchable, meaning having some will open your profile up to more women.


Women want to know about it so I am going to give it!
What is "it"? Your personality? Your income level? Your bedroom performance on a scale of 1 to 10? Your favorite color?


weather I am fixing
Whether, not weather. Especially pertinent for someone who claims to be intelligent in the next sentence. And honestly, most intelligent people don't say that they are. Like a sense of humor, intelligence is better shown than said.


grow old with a women who can support and make a man who was made to be.
Woman, not women. And I'm not quite sure what "a man who was made to be" means. A man who was made to be... what? Used? Happy? Rich?


a laugh so disguisable, you can hear me from miles away
I think you meant discernible. Disguisable would suggest your laugh blends in.


give me a shout, I would like to spark up great conversation ?
Oh, this is starting to come off a little desperate. Don't ever beg for a reply in your profile.


I love all kinds of music
A phrase often said, but rarely holds truth. When you start jamming to K-Pop as equally as hard as you do baroque aria's, PERHAPS then I will believe you actually love all kinds of music. Until then, just list a couple of artists/genres you truly enjoy. Specifics will help; if she likes the same group, she'll remember your profile more. "This guy like The White Stripes" is far more memorable than "this guy likes music".


wanting a good women
Again, I am assuming you mean one womAn.


I have goals and ambition
...you do? The only goals you listed were owning a home and getting married. Perhaps share some of your other goals. Do you have any travel plans? Career ambitions (and successes)? etc.


I guess their
There, not their.


I have grown to love the animals
If you're doing something to actually help animals (like volunteering), then mention that. Otherwise, delete the talk about animals.


A nice place where we can talk and get to know each other
A coffee shop? Dinner for 2? Your bedroom? Please be specific and list a couple of actual date suggestions.

Overall, it is terribly generic. You seem like a nice guy, but please be more descriptive. Tell her what a typical weekend is like for you. Share a funny story. Let her see your personality, your passion, your drive.
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