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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Would appreciate some tips and criticism      Home login  
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 TommyboyW89
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 1
Would appreciate some tips and criticismPage 1 of 1    
As the title says, I'm expecting the worst so hit me!

Is my profile too short, bland, uninspiring, too common etc..

How is my assortment of pictures, too few? Do I come off conceded? Do you look at me and say to yourself "he looks like a happy guy," etc..

What impression do you get from my headline, cheesy? Does it make sense, does it draw you in?

What do you think my profile is missing?

Thanks for taking the time to read!
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 2
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 12:20:49 PM

Is my profile too short, bland, uninspiring, too common etc..


Yes on all accounts OP, however there is some stuff to work with as well.



I'm somewhat reserved at first but when a connection is made I am quick to open up, once I do you'll see that I am a friendly, optimistic, witty and honest individual with a strong heart and easy going attitude.


Above is little more than one very long cliche. NOT a good way to open a profile. A couple of the descriptive words you have chosen are assumed givens, therefore useless in a profile. Do you actually know someone looking for unfriendly and dishonest? It is assumed people are these things until proven otherwise, useless filler, delete those two.
You do have two that can be VERY good, but ONLY if you choose to use them properly and not simply list them. Optimistic and witty are good descriptors, but ONLY if you can SHOW the ladies what makes you those things, proclaiming it to be simply isn't going to cut it. Everything else is useless, delete.


I cherish movie nights on the couch over a couple of drinks]/quote]

Cherish seems like a pretty strong descriptor for movie night, but you must know.


but you'll typically find me outdoors,


You are not expanding your thoughts enough, be SPECIFIC.


I'd like to get more involved in hiking, care to share some interesting trails to hit up?


Much better, keep this.


I have a lot of energy and a love for life and often engage myself in challenges to keep busy.


What challenges? Again, be SPECIFIC


The lifestyle choices I tend to practice are being true , treating others how I want to be treated and living an active/healthy lifestyle.


Cliche with the possible exception of being true, if you can expand upon being true keep it, if not delete it with the rest.


Want to find out more, ask away!


Never ask the ladies to contact you, write a great profile and you won't need to ask, they will. delete

Best wishes

Jerry
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 3
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 12:31:51 PM
TommyboyW89...welcome to the Profile Reviews forum.
My initial suggestion is to first concentrate on the images you have posted.

Have a friend take two dozen well-lit, OUTDOOR, crisp photographs using a high-quality digital camera...which is preferred over a fuzzy cellphone. This is primarily due to better ergonomics and superior capability of a camera to process available light. Include a variety of backgrounds, activities, and various articles of clothing to add greater interest. Have both close-ups and full-body images. Upload the best images of the bunch. Ensure you continue to date and caption each...to make them more entertaining to read. Good luck with your romantic search. :-)

My second suggestion is to be more forthcoming about your profession.
There is no need for guessing games...simply provide a basic description.
You can see my profile to see how I have answered this question.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 4
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 12:35:42 PM
What is your profession? All the "ask me" this and that gives me the impression that I shouldn't bother.

And by all means, what does "healthy/active lice style mean to you? Explain that. If I saw this on a profile, I'd click next.
 kerplunked
Joined: 4/19/2014
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 1:49:01 PM
I think your photos are good but you could invest in a pair of shoes.

You've made long, rambling, crammed sentences in your profile rather than splitting them up.

Is Netflix a hobby?
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 6
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:11:10 PM
What do you think my profile is missing?



Your profile is missing the "first Date" section completely!



After reading your "Headline"..........

TommyboyW89: I can be the final chapter in your book



I wasn't expecting such a diminutive "About Me."
It read more like a pamphlet than a chapter of a book.


You might strive for (at least) three paragraphs in that section
Just one small paragraph in the first date section should be sufficient.
 TommyboyW89
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 7
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:36:31 PM
oldfashmntman, those are all helpful tips

Eric_Summit and Eternityboresme, I agree that I should be more forthcoming about my profession.

kerplunked, I don't wear shoes in the house. Netflix is not one of my hobbies, I think I see your point.

tennistown, more content, got it.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 8
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:47:20 PM
The profile tips at the top of the page in green are very helpful, I should have mentioned that before.
 TommyboyW89
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 9
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 5:26:56 PM
Ok, I revised some of my profile, let me know what you think.

Optimism is my driving force in life, I view failures as learning opportunities and when problems arise I push onward with an unwavering grin for I have my eyes on a better future. If someone flipped me the bird while driving by, instead of taking it personally I'd say to myself "that person must of had a bad day, hope tomorrow fairs better."

I have a lot of energy that feeds my adventurous nature and often engage myself in challenges to keep busy. 4 months ago I made a goal to get in shape so I challenged myself to start from scratch, develop my own diet that would stick and follow through, here I am today 58 pounds lighter. My energy reserves are so vast that I'm often the last one awake and partying. If you wanted to scale a mountain at 3 o-clock in the morning or dance until sunrise you can bet I'd be first in line(the latter I've actually done).
 TommyboyW89
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 10
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 5:47:34 PM

Congrats on the weight loss. Not sure I would include it on your profile though. Yes, it makes her see that you can set goals and follow through with them. But she will also be wondering why you were 58 pounds overweight in the first place. Just something to think about. May want to share your story later.



Noted, I was just trying to add some concrete evidence to my point but I can understand how it would be too much, I'll try and think of another instance that I could use.
 TommyboyW89
Joined: 8/2/2014
Msg: 11
Would appreciate some tips and criticism
Posted: 10/15/2014 6:01:20 PM
RedrocksJen, what types of pictures should I avoid, besides the obvious shirtless kind? Is it alright to post photo's of my work, photography, things I've cooked or perhaps a picture with me posing with my car. are those too much, should I stick with pictures where I am the focus?
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Would appreciate some tips and criticism