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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > So, I'd like some feedback      Home login  
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 FateKnowsBest
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 1
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So, I'd like some feedbackPage 1 of 1    
Well, much like everyone else the reason I'm posting here is because I'm not quite getting the results I'd like, and I'm hopeful that can be improved somewhat with some changes to my profile which you wise people can suggest! Any constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks in advance!
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 2
So, I'd like some feedback
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:08:42 PM
Excellent way to begin your about me (the snail). Glad to hear you do this!

Delete the tubing photo!

Girls might recognize the part about beginning messages with shouting that they love you as a joke. Better wording than the usual needless lines people have about writing them if they like the profile. You have a second line urging them to write you. Ideal number of such lines is zero.

You could bury Xbox deeper into the interests list so it doesn't show up in the title of the web browser.

Is the username a play on words from Father Knows Best? Variations on common phrases are often good.
 kerplunked
Joined: 4/19/2014
Msg: 3
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So, I'd like some feedback
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:13:11 PM
The photos are good, I think you have a good selection.

The profile text is informative but the grammar is lazy. Towards the end you sound a bit big-headed.
'feel free to write' - ah shucks.
'i love you Andy'. hmmm.
 FateKnowsBest
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 4
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So, I'd like some feedback
Posted: 10/15/2014 2:36:38 PM
Okay, removed tubing pic and superfluous 'feel free to write' bit. Undecided on the 'I love you Andy' bit. Some seem to find it amusing and most first contact messages I get start with it, but there's no way of knowing who might be put off...
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 5
So, I'd like some feedback
Posted: 10/15/2014 3:18:22 PM
Hi Andy, profiles need to be as to the point as possible, in other words what we call fluff wastes space and serves no purpose.

Here is an example.


I'm interested in health & fitness because it's important to me to stay active & healthy. It makes me feel more alive, and stops me getting old and fat!


I'm interested in health & fitness because it makes me feel more alive, and stops me FROM getting old and fat!

Fluff makes things VERY boring to read, there should be NO fluff in a profile.

I do not see much personality in your profile either other than the thoughtful part which I liked. Try to think of at least one to add to your opener.

You should have 3 solid paragraphs, read the profile tips at the top of the page in green.

Best wishes

Jerry
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