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Show ALL Forums  > Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help  > Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!      Home login  
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 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 1
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Forgive me if my post upsets anyone who isn't superficial...

I performed a little project on Plenty of Fish and created 2 profiles...one profile had a picture of me with dark skin (my normal skin color), and another picture displayed me, with a lighter tone skin (achieved with the use of makeup).

I looked EXACTLY the same in both pictures, with the same exact profile description, except for the change in tone differences...

Does anyone think that this is superficial or am I just crazy?

I am far from ugly, so why am I being treated like this on an online dating site? Is it because light skin is favored over darker skin?

Please help...maybe give advice?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:02:40 PM
This is a unique and very scientific approach to the trials, tribulations, and appearances of online dating.
What are the results of your findings? I don't believe this experimental technique has been tried before.
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 3
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:08:46 PM
I never smile in any of my photos...in my darker skinned profile, I was being asked more frequently to smile than on my lighter skinned profile.

Men were also called me beautiful, and sent me more messages to my lighter skinned account. It really upset me...I wonder what would happen if any of these men saw the true me in person....would they stop talking to me because of my skin?

What does that say about women who look completely different when they are without their makeup?
 4forumzgal
Joined: 10/12/2014
Msg: 4
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:24:09 PM
My advice is just be yourself and don't deceive people by attempting to change your looks. If you were to meet a man as the lighter you, how would they feel when they see you?

Secondly, one profile per user so my advice is to delete the lighter skinned one. :)
All the best to you.
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 5
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:31:15 PM
But you don't get my point...women deceive men all the time when they wear makeup...is my case any different? I'm still me. I am not rearranging my features or anything...

My problem is that men can't look passed looks that women feel like they need to wear makeup on an every day basis.
And also, why is lighter skin more preferable than darker skin?
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 6
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:46:14 PM
Not ALL women wear makeup but the majority of them do. Why can't we all just be ourselves? I'm waiting for a day on Earth when that is possible.
 4forumzgal
Joined: 10/12/2014
Msg: 7
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:51:50 PM
My problem is that men can't look passed looks that women feel like they need to wear makeup on an every day basis.
And also, why is lighter skin more preferable than darker skin?


But you see, not all men like a women wearing makeup every day; they often prefer the real us. And you seem to base the assumption of "lighter is better" on a few messages. Your complexion is beautiful as it is. Stay the real you and forget the superficial men as they don't deserve you. x

EDIT: You posted again while I was writing. You're spot on. BE yourself and who cares what others think. :)
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 8
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:59:17 PM
I didn't say that lighter is better. My experiment says that lighter is better. I did not initially wear lighter makeup for my experiment. A makeup artist used a lighter shade on me. I was frustrated with my lack of responses on my first profile (my darker skinned profile). I thought that I might have better luck with my pictures of me in makeup....low and behold!!! I did...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 9
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History
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 5:37:39 PM
OP...I would be curious to see what your real skin tone looks like. I have dated around 50 black women over the last 30 years and most of them have been middle to darker skinned. There have been very few mixed/light skinned/high yellow ones. I find darker very attractive.
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 10
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 5:42:54 PM
I don't think you can post pictures in these forums...can you? How would I be able to show you?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 5:50:29 PM
^^^^^ You would have to add it to your profile. Wouldn't the lighter skin picture be deceptive when you meet somebody? It's better for somebody to like you for who you really are appearance wise. Getting extra attention under false pretenses isn't good.
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 12
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 5:55:30 PM
I don't plan on meeting anyone using my current profile. I explain that to everyone who contacts me. If you send me a message with your email, I will send a picture to you. I would prefer it if my current profile only has one picture.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 13
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 6:04:13 PM
Post both images for viewing.
Understand the dominant man you seek will direct you to embrace one complexion or the other.
That way you satisfy two desires simultaneously.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 14
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 6:20:54 PM
It's against the rules for a person to have more than one profile here. I'd remove one before you get banned from the site.
 NaughtyChocolate
Joined: 10/5/2014
Msg: 15
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/21/2014 6:34:56 PM
I only have one profile. I deleted the other one
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 16
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 2:06:59 AM
See, a few people have ORDERED me to smile -- not ask, and I've fair skin. My third photo, I'm wearing a scant trace of eyeliner but I've no make up and my face is relatively clear and free of some blemishes, still I'm ordered to smile. I'm also half Middle Eastern and I've find a lot of bizarre exoticism in my interactions, as Caucasion men refer to me as "sultry," "exocticism," Blah, blah, blah. They are telling me what to do with my body and demanding me to change my profile based on their preferences. They are describing my features as if I were a painting or a piece of irrelevant meat. (There are scads of racist and sexist shit- for-brains who'll dismiss you and trying to pick at your body because of your race and gender.) It's like I'm disallowed from utilizing this public space to find somebody with whom I choose to connect. One person, with whom I have never spoken, threatened to beat me, on account of my preference, or so he disclosed. Nice, huh?

It's not about how you should present yourself -- it's about controlling your body. When somebody does that to you, you block the tosser, straight away. They don't have to choose you as a partner; but they don't have the right to interfere with your bodily autonomy.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 17
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 3:20:13 AM
Posted by EternityBoresMe:
"See, a few people have ORDERED me to smile -- not ask, and I've fair skin. My third photo, I'm wearing a scant trace of eyeliner but I've no make up and my face is relatively clear and free of some blemishes, still I'm ordered to smile. I'm also half Middle Eastern and I've find a lot of bizarre exoticism in my interactions, as Caucasion men refer to me as "sultry," "exocticism," Blah, blah, blah.

They are telling me what to do with my body and demanding me to change my profile based on their preferences. They are describing my features as if I were a painting or a piece of irrelevant meat. (There are scads of racist and sexist shit- for-brains who'll dismiss you and trying to pick at your body because of your race and gender.) It's like I'm disallowed from utilizing this public space to find somebody with whom I choose to connect. One person, with whom I have never spoken, threatened to beat me, on account of my preference, or so he disclosed. Nice, huh?"

Did you read her profile?
She specifically wishes to be a Submissive to a Dominant and to be his slave.
It is her little "kink" and she describes it in detail directly in her profile.

From the NaughtyChocolate profile:
"...I'm submissive and ready for you to own me and make me yours ;)
I'm looking for a dom. I just like being dominated..."

In that case, you are commanded to post BOTH pictures!
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 18
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 3:24:43 AM
"The upside is that it's not your job to please any of them"


It is if you're looking for a S & M relationship and she's the sub! ;)


Op......just post both pics and let your Dom decide how he prefers you. Good luck in your search!
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 19
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 5:07:07 AM
First piece of advice: post in the proper section. Site suggestions is not the best place for your thread about skin darkness/lightness.

Second, go with your natural skin.

The zillion dollar tanning industry is proof many people prefer to look darker.

Traditionally the man is expected to be darker than the woman. Women often want a man who is tall, DARK and handsome. Artwork throughout the ages shows the man as darker. This is probably because the man went outside and toiled in the sun all day while the woman stayed inside. In the cradle of civilization, women have covered themselves, protected from the sun's rays.

Light skin is favored in India, where the caste system is based on skin color (their white British masters are considered the ideal, then the upper caste is pale, with the darkest people "untouchable"). Upper caste Hindu women use bleaching to look as white as they can. Highly dysfunctional.

Pale men are often shunned and ignored. My Nordic ancestors evolved to blend in with the snow, less likely to be detected by saber toothed tigers and other predators. Nowadays, fair skin on men is a defense against female human predators as it seems to repel them.

Only a fool would say, "You are beautiful" to someone they've never met in real life. The men who message your profile with the darker skin obviously behave better by not saying such nonsense. They're less superficial, more interested in your eyes and your smile, while the ones who prefer the lighter skin photos have more hangups about superficial attributes. I'd say your darker profile is being treated better.

Extremely light skinned people are more likely to suffer from sunburn and skin cancer, while extremely dark skinned people are more likely to suffer from Vitamin D deficiency.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 20
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 6:08:09 AM
I'm curious - were they white Men who responded more to the lighter skin profile?
Since you announce you are a Sub they prolly tell you what to do in a feeble attempt to come off as a Dom.
How many shades lighter did you go?
Chantelle Brown Young - I think she is past beautiful, so perhaps skin tone does comes into play.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 21
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 7:05:46 AM
Okay, I'll state the obvious - it's nothing to do with skin colour as to "superficial" guys contacting you. You're 22 - guys flock to 22 year old old's. You're draped in a sexy pose - guys flock to that. Your screen name screams "come fvck me". You want to be someone's slave, again, screams "come fvck me". You're into the "scene" which screams "come fvck me". And somehow you're thinking guys are superficial based on your natural looks and your look with makeup? Really?

All the things I mentioned above have far more to do with your treatment online than does the shade of your skin. You are a beautiful young woman, go find a guy in real life. Go find a guy that fits you and wants to grow with you because you have yet to reach your full potential. Or walk your own path of growth and worry about a partner later, there is no rush. Learn, experience, taste life....grow.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 22
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/22/2014 7:56:57 AM

Forgive me if my post upsets anyone who isn't superficial...

I performed a little project on Plenty of Fish and created 2 profiles...one profile had a picture of me with dark skin (my normal skin color), and another picture displayed me, with a lighter tone skin (achieved with the use of makeup).

I looked EXACTLY the same in both pictures, with the same exact profile description, except for the change in tone differences...

Does anyone think that this is superficial or am I just crazy?

I am far from ugly, so why am I being treated like this on an online dating site? Is it because light skin is favored over darker skin?

Please help...maybe give advice?


Sweetie, men r superficial, PERIOD! as far as skin tone, w/o seeing THE OTHER AD (which is BTW a POF violation of TOS) I cannot say why you get more responses on the other ad...

As far as your D/s lifestyle, if you are a submissive woman, why not put an ad on a site more geared towards that like Collar Me or Fet Life? POF is basically a vanilla site!
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 23
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/23/2014 5:44:06 AM

created 2 profiles

I wouldn't recommend broadcasting your infringements of the POF rules, on the forums. Not a very smart thing to do.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 24
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/24/2014 5:22:04 AM

and even their vaginas enhanced
I don't think so.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 25
Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!
Posted: 10/24/2014 7:32:20 AM
Whats up gcdeb, never heard of a vajazzle? :)
Show ALL Forums  > Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help  > Superficial POF Men!!! Urghh!!!