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 Reluvd3164
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 1
Is it me or my profilePage 1 of 1    
I have been on this site for quite some time and have had little luck. Am now wondering if it is me or my profile. Am seriously considering shutting it down. Would appreciate honest guidance before shutting it down. If it is my profile perhaps I can change it and have more success....if it is me, then I will shut it down and try some other approach ?? Thanks in advance.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2
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Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 9:51:22 AM
Your profile tells us virtually nothing about you, other than you think you are better looking than your photos.

It is just a long list of things you want in a guy, which on there own sound a little demanding and a little 'too perfect', like it's unlikely you will ever find a guy like all of that.

Tell the reader all about YOU!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 3
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:08:57 AM
^^^^+1
A crazy list of demands yet you aren't saying what you are bringing to the table.
The Header screams that you have made poor dating decisions in the past - and most Men already have a lot of friends.
It isn't impolite not to reply to a message - no response is the usual safest bet when they aren't interested
 Smthn_Like_Olivia
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 4
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Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:10:03 AM
^^^ Agree on all counts. The jaundice was the first thought that popped in my head when I saw the main as well.

The whole "guy I want" thing will not throw Mr. Right in your lap or paint the picture you are intending. Your profile should be built on who YOU are and not necessarily what you want. You have said much about what YOU bring to the table for your Prince Charming...
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 5
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:54:00 AM
What do you have to offer somebody, apart from a list of demands, madam?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 6
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:57:20 AM
You absolutely need non-yellow photos. Got anything from one of your trips to Aruba?

You missed the Interests field entirely. This is where a guy can get a quick idea of what you may have in common, and hopefully an idea of your sense of humour. Go with at least 9 things that would describe your 'favourites': Holiday spot, food or cuisine, adult beverage, sport or team, music group/genre/artist, author, local attraction... so many things a guy can use to start a conversation and find things in common.

Agreed on the other points in the profile, especially the 'want' list. The right guy will do those things automatically. What else is important to you? What kind of sense of humour? Spontaneity or calm and thoughtful? Are you OK with someone who may still have kids at home?

My profile worked exceptionally well for me, but things have apparently changed in the last 5 years with more 'looky-loos' using this site from a little cellphone app. Are you actively contacting men YOU find interesting? Introduction messages should be short, light humoured, specific to one topic in his profile and include a question so he has an easy way to respond IF he chooses.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 7
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 12:22:13 PM
The thumbnail for your one non yellow photo doesn't show your face.

People who promise to reply to every message rarely respond. If true, you might get into endless conversations with time vampires. Your request for the people you message first to reply will result in a lower reply rate.

The list of demands is terrible. You would have lost me at the start with the word "text".
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 8
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 12:35:11 PM
Pretty much concur with what the others have said. The guy you're describing, I want him too. In order to attract such a man to you and make him CRAZY for you, and only have eyes for you and only you requires some EFFORT though. Get a make-over, go to the gym and get in the best shape you can. There are lots of women out there (your age, older and younger) who you have to "compete" with and stand out. I would never expect a guy to go gaga over me if I didn't look the best I could. And even then, a lot of men will still "look", especially the ones you meet online. Best of luck though.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 9
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 12:36:48 PM

Is it me or my profile


It's definitely your profile and it might be you, too, if the profile is an accurate reflection of your thinking.

The pictures are the least of your problems. Anyone can see you look fine.

You might want to contact the Walt Disney Co. about the GUY you want.
I believe I saw him in a couple of their films.


try some other approach ??


That would be a good idea.
 Reluvd3164
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 10
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 2:00:07 PM
I appreciate the feedback and have made some changes. If you get a chance to review it again, I would appreciate additional feedback. Thank you.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 11
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 2:11:11 PM
Hi OP, your want list is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long, pick two maybe three of what you believe to be the most important and use them in a sentence.

Your description of your personality is missing in action.

Best wishes

Jerry
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 12
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Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 2:26:23 PM
If you say you are looking for a friend, then later you are not looking for FWB it is kind of sending a mixed message.

Just be straight about what you want, you want a committed honest caring relationship. Otherwise it just sounds like you are looking for a friend to hang out with who you will never sleep with, not many guys will respond to that.


Guys respond well when women use the words 'adventure' and 'excitement' well. So talk about an exciting adventure you have been on, or one you will go on in your new relationship.

What are you passionate about?

Be more specific about things you like, you say you like all music except rap? That still leaves quiet a lot on the spectrum. Maybe name a couple or favourite bands/artists. You like the theatre? Great what is the best show you have ever been to and why?
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 13
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 4:38:33 PM
It is a free site so why not keep it up? You look attractive and lively and your profile is fine as far as it goes but I would add a bit more about yourself. Men look at the pic and the age group and then decide to make contact, some dont even bother to really read a profile. Load a shot with a little cleavage and a bit more come hither and believe me you will get more replies. Load a full length pic also.This is a dating site and sex sells!!

It could be the age group that is the problem. 50 something men want 40 something women and younger if they can get them and then so do some women!!!. I would delete the comment about FWB. Why not wait if and until you actually meet someone you like and see how that pans out?

You may get or have gotten requests from much younger men wanting no strings casual sex and then the older guy wanting the nurse and the purse. That is common.

Have you tried the mature or senior dating sites?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 14
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/26/2014 8:07:28 PM
Much better main photo. Please, don't stoop to the trashy cleavage shots, that never ends well...

The idea of attending church weekly is obviously important to you, yet you don't mention which specific faith. Are you open to dating someone who either does not attend church or is of a different faith?

The whole 'friends first' thing is silly. You are supposed to already have friends. Guys do. If you go to meet someone for a coffee, the idea is not "Oh boy! I'm going to make a new friend today!" This is a potential life partner and you need to be much more aware. If there is no romantic attraction whatsoever, shake hands, move along. Don't waste your or his time. The right man will be - ultimately - your best friend and romantic partner. If you need to be friends first before dating someone, you'd be dating your friends already. Lose that cliché.

At our age, a bit more elaboration on your Interests would help, as would more of an idea of who you are hoping to met so your viewer isn't wasting his time. You're getting there!
 Reluvd3164
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 15
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/27/2014 4:18:38 PM
OK...made another attempt. Hoping for more constructive criticism.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 16
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Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/27/2014 4:33:36 PM
Much much better.

I would have the second pic as your main, but try adding some more, 5-8 are best, try and tell the story of you in picture. You sound like a big sports fan, so any pictures of you are you favourite stadium?

You can add a little about the kind of man you are looking for, just don't go overboard like before. Maybe pick 3 or 4 attributes you find attractive in a man.

You talk about sports A LOT, it is obviously a big thing for you, but does it need 2-3 paragraphs? Thats for you to decide.
 Reluvd3164
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 17
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/29/2014 1:18:24 PM
Thanks. I appreciate your feedback. I don't take very good pictures so is difficult for me to post them as I don't like them to be taken...LOL
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 18
Is it me or my profile
Posted: 10/29/2014 3:19:25 PM
Well you have a spelling mistake in your interests
Your main photo is too old, all pictures need to be current.
You ramble on a lot about the Sports, what else do you enjoy?
Not fond of women of a certain age calling themselves "girl"
You still have cuddling.
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