My most valuable asset is my sense of humour!
Then why do you look so glum in all your photos, like you are about to punch whoever's holding the camera? SMILE!
Make sure you are actually visible in your photos, there is only one photo where all yoru face can be seen. Women want to see what you look like, not just half a face at a time.
The 'joke' at the start falls flat for me, makes it look like the first words you say are swears, not attractive
Your first two sentences explain that you don't want to write a profile, and you make big assumptions about other profiles the views have read. Delete this, focus on selling yourself rather criticising anyone else.
I believe that words are cheap, but actions speak much louder, so why bother?
You then go on to list a bunch of word, not actions, which by themselfs are meaningless. I fully agree with this statment, so talk about your actions, prove to the reader you you are confident, when have you been optimistic and motivated? What makes you perceptive and realistic. Tell us of a time when you kept your cool instead of being rattled.
You can take a joke and are not easily offended
Is offending people something you do regularly? Are you expecting do date someone who you can insult and she will just sit there an take it? Why would you even bring up the idea that you might offend the person you date?
What are you passionate about in life? Women love a man with passion and fire in his belly.
What makes you special and unique? Why should a woman date you over every other guy on this site?
What is it like to date you? What does romance look like for you?