Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex a      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It was actually kind of funny...

When I first came back a bit ago, as in displaying my profile again, I was told by MANY women to NOT come, (no pun intended! lol) into the Sex and Dating forums...

I KNOW that they were all VERY well-meaning but I'm really serious as to wanting to know what "notions"people have about the sex and dating forums.....

For men, do you think that any woman who posts here is "easy"?

For women, do you think that talking about sex makes you "appear" to be "easy" and maybe gives the wrong impression to men? (I KNOW that some of you at least READ the forums here,even IF you don't post...)
I, myself see nothing wrong with coming over here and often get some "tips"as to how men think and what they really want. That can only improve my understanding of the opposite sex and in my thinking maybe tip the scales a bit more in the direction of having a successful relationship...
I figure that if I plan on trying to "relate" to a man sexually, I better have a good idea of how and what are the best ways to DO that!!!
Sexuality is a healthy and normal part of Life,imo, and I don't see anything wrong or in need of judgement about it...
EVERYBODY, (that CAN!!), has sex...it's one of the perks of being human!!!
One of the best things I ever heard was that if you have a GOOD sex life,then sex is only 10% of the entire relationship, but if you have a BAD one, then it's 90%!!!!
I took that to mean that when your sex life is good, then you have time and energy to focus on the other parts of your relationship, ie.emotional intimacy, shared experiences, building a life together, etc.
When your sex life is bad however, it's like having a toothache and you just seem to ONLY be able to focus on THAT exclusively...

So...thoughts???
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 2
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 9:38:03 AM
I see sex as just another topic. I don't "assume" anything about someone who talks about sex, based on the fact they can talk about sex. Just like if someone talks cooking, I figure they can still be capable of burning the roast :)

People have their opinions. If I heard something exclusively from a group, I'd wonder if that particular group shared a prejudice.

I do have respect for someone who wants to get better at something. if you hate doing an activity, might as well learn how to do it quicker to get it out of the way. but if you enjoy something...why wouldn't you WANT to know how it works, how to get better at it, etc?

I remember an instructor once telling me if he had to teach golf, he wouldn't start with lessons on how to do the perfect swing and confuse them and make it into work. he'd give someone a bucket of balls, and let them get it out of their system. if they decided they liked it, THEN he'd teach them how to do it better. I wondered if that allowed one to get a bad technique in before he had to teach it out of them, but in the end, I think I get what he really meant.
 Supersoulson
Joined: 10/21/2014
Msg: 3
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 9:46:38 AM
To deem a woman “ easy “ simply by posting here rather than reading what she writes would be pretty judgemental IMO

I wish it was MANDATORY that ALL women had to give their views on sex here so that a guy could better know who is compatible sexually right off the bat.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 4
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 9:52:02 AM
I have never been told not to check out any particular forum by women or men.

I find it a bit creepy that when I do post something in the corresponding threads, I get viewed by gentleman who could be my greatgrandpa. I get an epiphany that this is precisely what's at the core of the age restriction thing, lol, but I digress.

The main idea here is that I post what I want when I want and I'm not concerned about how people "take it" (he he), but it is certainly not an invitation to message me, flirt with me, or believing me to be a good match for any particular person. If they are messaging me because of something I posted in this forum, they are automatically disqualified.

Let's keep in mind that everything changes partner to partner and it doesn't mean that anything we say we've done or like to do, is to happen with anyone thereafter. Some people allow you to be more adventurous and other people force you into a shell because they are too vanilla and you don't want to scare the living crap out of them, or they simply cannot perform what you like.

When sex is good, it is something you want to do all the time. When you enjoy someone's company, you want to spend time with them all the time. It's all relative. I like to eat, so I do it as often as I can as time allows, and in enough quantities to keep me from thinking about eating for a few hours. When I'm not hungry, I don't think about food.
 Cycling99
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 6
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 10:06:44 AM
Not everyone is comfortable talking about sex or their desires openly, least of all in a forum setting. To each their own!
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 10:09:52 AM
I've never heard anyone say not to come here. I don't look at specific forums, I just click on "newest threads" and read them. I'm pretty sure most of the time I don't notice what category they are in. Does it matter what category the question is listed under?

As far as talking about sex, I have no problem with that. I think I have a pretty normal and healthy sexual outlook. If the discussions were feelings, I would have difficulty with that. It's more complex.

I think I have a bit more "guyish" gender tendencies than some females do. I have no problem discussing sex from an intellectual, religious or cultural standpoint either. Last night myself and a business companion (female) had a well-rounded discussion on the culture of sex in Greece, China and America.

I think being 'forced' to discuss sex in college within a program I was enrolled in made it easier to discuss with anyone. It was very uncomfortable for the first couple weeks, but, that is a part of a whole person and we treat the person, not just the parts. That includes the loved ones and family important to that person.

At work at a different place than I work now, we had treat a sexual issue and I got voted in to give the talk, give the equipment and give demonstrations. It is more odd to do face to face with a 'stranger' than typing something on a forum, especially when you have to give the "this is perfectly normal and good for you" speech...lol.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIbJaLt43w8






 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 10:58:02 AM
I don't think anyone comes off as easy just for posting on the sexuality forum. I kind of like to know what females think of sexual topics as well. Knowledge is always useful in the proper situation.
Internet being what it is though, you will get skewed numbers from here. You know very well how many bitter and jaded people troll these forums.
Alot of people on the internet will just straight up lie just so they can make themselves feel better.
Then there are people like me, who just are strange (as everyone tells me).
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 9
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 12:17:14 PM

Sexuality is a healthy and normal part of Life,imo, and I don't see anything wrong or in need of judgement about it...
EVERYBODY, (that CAN!!), has sex...it's one of the perks of being human!!!


I have to admit that there are a lot of sexual things that I actually learned about over the years in the forums.

For instance how to properly stimulate the G-spot. How to get a woman to have female ejaculate. Also, it was here that I leaned about the male dry orgasm, which then allows the guy to have even more than four orgasms in one evening of love making.

There have been some awesome discussions about the vaginal orgasm vs the clitoral orgasm. Or the Cervical orgasm and so on.

There are from time to time goofballs with subjects that are totally ridiculous but many of the topics are absolutely priceless.

So I hope this does not get deleted, since it may be a good place to talk about what women like or want about their own sex.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 1:07:20 PM
Did you ask any of them why they said what they did?

The only thing I can think of, is that they were paranoid because the S&D forum is even MORE hidden than the rest of the place, suggesting the owner has a problem with it. Maybe they were afraid the S&D forum was like the now long-gone I.E. category, and that people would be ejected for participating.

But I am sure, from all the nonsense I've witnessed over the years, that as soon as SOME guys notice that a woman is willing to even go near the word 'sex,' that they turn into six year old little jerks, and start harassing and taunting her.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 5:14:36 PM
@Igor....
Well their opinions were offered for the most part....along the lines of what I mentioned about what kind of impression that would give...

Just noticed someone put the thread up for deletion, for "troll post/seeking attention"?????????

Maybe one of those ladies is a little...perturbed??? LOL

Any way...

REALLY didn't mean any offense, am just curious about how people view the sex and dating forums here....as I tend to see the same people, (mostly) on here....and yet see many more varieties in the other forums,...

And for myself as well...I find this gives me an "education" for the most part...
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 12
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 5:23:24 PM
The only forum I have actively avoided over the years is the single parent one. And ironically I am a single parent, but I can't deal with all of the complaining and negativity in there, it's too much.

This place I don't frequent a whole lot mainly because it seems like some people are just looking for attention, or trying to show how sexually adventurous they are. Which is fine, I just don't necessarily care about it. Plus, in order to discuss many of the topics, you kinda have to bring in personal examples, and that feels wrong somehow. I know that I wouldn't be naming names, it just feels weird to talk about my sex life with a bunch of virtual strangers. I doubt those I was intimate with would be very happy about it. But hey, to each their own.
 forums48380
Joined: 2/10/2013
Msg: 13
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 10/31/2014 8:00:37 PM
I had a girlfriend break up with me when I told her that I read and post here. She told me that it was voyeurism and freaked out about her privacy getting violated (which it wasn't). Chalk it up to severe insecurity, inhibition, and sexual dysfunction.
These forums are a good place to get information, ideas, and sometimes entertainment. I can't see what the harm is to come here, especially when using it anonymously.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 12:17:53 AM
dragonbits offered this PSA:
Computerized STDs are rampant in the sex forum


Fortunately, I do not enter the "sex and dating" forum w/o first putting a condom on my mouse - Magnum brand. Oh yeah. It's a big mouse.

TK
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 2:38:26 AM
Well I'm not saying that I would name names,or be terribly happy were I to see someone else do that...

Sex can be discussed in general terms specific enough to get the point across without revealing someone's identity...
I often generalize and even outright state that it was an ex or a guy I know , etc. for that very reason....(not necessarily true)

As for voyeurism...well I suppose there's some of that going on, but then again there's nothing to say that anyone has to "bare it all", in the name of sharing...lol
I suspect that those who DO are titillated by it in the first place and/or it's one of the younger hotties with a pic up that are trolling for customers for paid porn sites....



Fortunately, I do not enter the "sex and dating" forum w/o first putting a condom on my mouse - Magnum brand. Oh yeah. It's a big mouse.


Well...we had to know that the size of the "mouse" was BOUND to be brought up by SOMEONE...LMAO
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 16
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 3:54:14 AM


Computerized STDs are rampant in the sex forum


Fortunately, I do not enter the "sex and dating" forum w/o first putting a condom on my mouse - Magnum brand. Oh yeah. It's a big mouse.


LOL, that’s funee!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 6:30:37 AM
Well, I think that the reason you see so many more people on the other forums, is best explained by the fact that the S&D forum is DOUBLE hidden. It's only visible immediately after someone posts, and that doesn't last.

But it is interesting that you've had so many women directly warn you not to. Having grown up in a time and a place where everything was changing and becoming more open, and where no subject was considered taboo, as long as one expressed oneself respectfully towards others, I am always surprised when I run across people who blanch at the idea of discussing almost any subject. But some people do.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 18
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:04:53 AM
I am not aware of any woman who is ".............afraid/not interested......." to read or post in the Sex and Sexuality topic heading. Not heard from any woman who bypasses or just simply moves past this topic heading?

If indeed this subject makes anyone uncomfortable, then by all means, they have the right to ignore it all together.
For others, myself included, I not only read this topic, I have on occasion responded to a post. I could care less what someone thinks of me from an on-line dating site. I'm a mature adult. The only opinion I care about is from the man I'm dating.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 19
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 10:21:45 AM
The sex forums are hidden unless you just made a post. This cuts down on both reading and posting by both genders.

I don't pay attention who says what in the sex forums, so a post that could be from either gender, I don't know which gender said it. Therefore I cannot agree or disagree with the claim women are more likely to avoid the sex forums. On my phone, I make the letters bigger by filling the screen with a frame of the post without showing the user info to the left, so I often don't see who says what in any forum (of course some posters are distinctive!)

Many men probably avoid posting intimate secrets on here. It seems men are more discreet about personal intimate matters, while women are more likely to talk about their sex lives with others.
 NYDistrict14
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 12:28:28 PM
No judgments. POF is one big feeling out process and some people go about it differently than others.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 21
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/1/2014 1:51:40 PM
For men, do you think that any woman who posts here is "easy"?


No. Talking about sex doesn't mean a woman is "easy". For some people, it might be easier to talk about sex on the forums and/or with strangers because they might feel their friends will look down on them.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 23
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/2/2014 11:56:42 AM
I can't see how many people would warn a gal not to go into a sex&dating forum thread. There's not many people who use this forum from pof, so it's not like you're going to run across people down the block on it. The only warning I could see would be "hearing gross things", and that is about it.


Sexuality is a healthy and normal part of Life,imo, and I don't see anything wrong or in need of judgement about it...
EVERYBODY, (that CAN!!), has sex...it's one of the perks of being human!!!


Yep. Humans are the only ones who can have sex. It's a great perk about being human!
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 24
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/2/2014 12:04:45 PM

Sexuality is a healthy and normal part of Life,imo, and I don't see anything wrong or in need of judgement about it...
EVERYBODY, (that CAN!!), has sex...it's one of the perks of being human!!!


Yep. Humans are the only ones who can have sex. It's a great perk about being human!


?????????????????????????????????????????

'Birds do it, bees do it---even educated TREES do it, let's do it, let's fall in love'~

;-)
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/2/2014 2:28:52 PM

Well, I think that the reason you see so many more people on the other forums, is best explained by the fact that the S&D forum is DOUBLE hidden. It's only visible immediately after someone posts, and that doesn't last.

Really? Never noticed.

I DO know that it's hidden unless you're logged into the forums, which is a separate log in from the profiles side of things. *Shrugs*
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 26
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:16:35 AM
indeed, the sex forum is like a level in a video game--you have to unlock it.

then after all that work, you find we have to define "what is rape" again :(
 tchofclas
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?
Posted: 11/3/2014 7:49:49 AM
^^^^^
Not sure exactly how you meant that. I usually find it by typing in POF forums, but never logged in until I went to post.
As for the answer to the question? The older I get, the more I'm convinced there are a lot of people that are judgmental, others that hate to see someone else to enjoy themselves, (hence eyes closed during sex, lol) and others that are just plain weird.
Personally, you can get a lot of questions answered here that aren't in Things Your Mother Didn't Tell You & You Were Afraid To Ask, or some such title. As someone mentioned above, there is a lot of good information here to make things better. Thank goodness for the informed people who are not afraid to post. Dave and his G spot thread is one of the first that comes to mind. Or someone mentions something, and you think "I didn't know that" and you can come here and check it out. There would be a lot more happy people out there if more were interested in making their partner have the best experience possible. Which usually makes them want to reciprocate, and everyone wins.
And then there are some posts that make you think Puritanism, for lack of a better word, will never die, and those people have no idea what joy they're missing.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why are so many women Afraid/Not Interested in Checking out the Sex and Dating Forums?