Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 1
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi Everyone,

Here is my profile (Username: FL_G8RZ): http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=83169138

I seem to get a lot of "wants to meet you", but few - if any - actually take the time to initiate a message. So, are they only attracted to my "pretty face" ;-) and then turned off by the content of my profile write-up? Don't objectify me, ladies! :p

Seriously, though, what's the deal? I know the ladies are inundated with messages and it takes time to filter out the sincere messages from the players, freaks & otherwise.

So, if you have the time to check my profile and provide honest feedback on what I've posted, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Cheers,
Alan
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 2
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 3:58:57 AM
Ignore "meet me", useless feature. As a guy you will need to send out most of the initial messages. Don't just sit there waiting for them to message you.

You have a lot of photos, but most of them are against the site rules. Being a paid member does not exempt you from the rules. Delete all the ones that don't feature YOU. The 5 you have left, are not great. The main has a hat and squinty eyes, a busy background. The suit one isn't good quality, the camera flash is not your friend. The HS one and the camping one are poor quality. The last 2 are your best ones, and the only ones I would keep from your selection. Then you need a few more.

The about me, looks very messy. It's several short lists, all in different formats. It's hard to read.
Basically if you read through it, it's simply "I like X, I like Y, I like Z". That's really not a very good way to hold appeal and build interest. Better to write in proper paragraphs, and not simply a list of things you like.

The last 4 lines are pretty unnecessary and sound desperate. They know how the site works.

Get rid of all your message filters, they are totally unnecessary for any guy on here.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 3
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 4:12:01 AM
Thanks! I'll get on some of these items now and others as more feedback comes in.
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 4
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 5:17:22 AM
What he said, VERY hard to read.

I do however use the meet me feature, my reply rate is significantly higher using that than it is in searches.

Have you seen the profile tips at the top of the page in green?
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 5
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 6:34:19 AM
Are you two reading my write-up via computer or smartphone app?
 Deedeelogan
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 6
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:06:31 AM
Hi Alan. It's not too bad. Your profile is always going to be a work in progress. Try adding some things like what your goals are, places you'd like to travel to, what it's like to date you.

Get rid of the email restrictions. Men don't normally get so swamped with messages that they need POF to help manage their incoming messages with a filter. Many women won't bother sending a message when they see there's restrictions. Especially the age restriction because a woman closer to 50 is going to think you're really looking for a woman in her 30's.

Good luck.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 7
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:22:36 AM
I don't like when someone goes for a "look" then you spend the intro distancing yourself from said look. Either own it or change it
Not really a full body because you are sitting
Camping picture - well too extreme close up
You have two clear bar shots, actually looks like you have 3 pictures up taken same time. Are they current?
You have a lot of expectations to be met - many women your age range can't just drop everything and travel for example
Whenever I see " eat healthy and be fit" I read " only thin model types need apply"
Oh, and the deal is no reply is a response, they aren't interested
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 8
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:26:03 AM
I never used the 'meet me' feature when I was looking.

I like your photo gallery, except for the written thing which is a waste of time and against the site rules.

Interests are ok, but the profile body is a bit weird. Reading it on a laptop in list format is rather dry. Can you rework it to sound more conversational?

No need to mention you don't smoke, it's already in your stats.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 9
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:27:59 AM
OK, I just did a total re-write and hid more of the pics you all felt were not good for the profile.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 10
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:37:56 AM
Hi Alan,

Great advice above.


I have had others describe me as an enigma because my appearance and who I am are completely different. I might look like a "biker" because of my tattoos and smooth head, but I'm not. I’m far from the biker stereotype.
As a person involved in the "biker culture" for many many years, I know nobody who fits the biker stereotype.
Why do you even bring it up? Makes you sound defensive.
Do all women who see a bald head honestly assume the guy is a bad boy biker?


Important Note:
I know my profile states I don't smoke, but I want to be clear that I don't smoke anything. I don't "vape" and I don't smoke, nor have I ever smoked, pot. I think marijuana should be decriminalized (possibly legal), but I have no interest in partaking in its use or being around someone who does smoke it. It's just not my thing.
Huh?
A whole paragraph disclaimer about smoking and weed when you do neither?
Do you get a lot of unsolicited messages from women who are into this?

Both sections from your profile are showing negativity, which is to be avoided.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 11
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:38:22 AM
Thank, Jen.

I'm torn because I don't have any issue with "420", but there are a LOT of people around here who do smoke it and I don't want to be around it with the person I'd date. So, how do I say that and get that out in the clear? I don't want to make/take time dating (paying for meals, etc.) only to find out that it's a part of her life and a show-stopper for me?
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 12
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:41:48 AM
I have been told by some, "you seem nice, but I won't get involved with a 'bad boy' anymore." So, I don't know what others assume and just don't say to me outright. A lot of people assume things and I'm trying to get people to stop before they start.

And, look at the response above to Jen -- I don't want to spend time & money to find out "420" is in the mix. I have friends who smoke pot and I don't mind --> I'm not dating them. I work around mil-defense and I'm not risking security clearance issues.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 13
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:44:38 AM
Just a crazy idea - if you actually start talking to someone you seem to connect with
you could, IDK make clear you aren't 420 friendly before even meeting
Or keep the sermon in but it won't serve as much of a filter. Damn a pun
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 14
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:49:09 AM
Should I just whittle it down to:

* Not into 420, FYI.


??

I'm really not trying to offend anyone.

And, to your previous comment about "someone going for a look and then distancing themselves from it" ... I'm not going for any "look." I look how I look. I like/have tats and I lost most of my hair. I can't help people assume crap about that.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 15
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:56:02 AM
Thanks, Jen.
I really am trying to keep this positive. I don't want to waste anyone's time nor mine. I try to mention things that matter.

Honestly, I met a great gal with whom I'm friends with to this day. But, when we met I really fell for her and later she told me, flat out, "I'm a biker and a stoner, first & foremost." And, then she broke things off with me because she had assumed otherwise.

So, it's not just about time or money spent - it's about avoiding getting crushed ... again!

Alan
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 16
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:01:06 AM
But Alan
You asked people to be blunt and honest - yet now you are getting all PTed
Good luck in your search
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 17
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:06:58 AM
PTed?

No capito.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 18
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:14:08 AM
Thanks, Jen.

And, everyone else for the feedback you submitted.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 19
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:28:24 AM
FL_G8RZ...welcome to the Profile Reviews forum.
You could simply post on your profile that you lead a healthy and wholesome lifestyle.

I too have technology clients in very sensitive areas.
I have similarly never taken an illegal drug and occasionally get tested as a component of my work.

That should ensure most behaviors fall under that umbrella.
Feel free to view my profile for potential wording ideas.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 20
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 8:51:54 AM

I might look like a "biker" because of my tattoos and smooth head, but I'm not.


Who but a biker would have a photo at a biker event, motorcycles as an interest, and include riding a motorcycle in your text? Unless "biker" has some subset definition within the biker community, you ARE a biker! Other bikers might consider it a negative you don't consider yourself one. The anti-biker people are going to hit the back button no matter what. The "1%" hardcore types probably are already aware you're not a conformist to the lifestyle.

As to being perceived as a badboy, congratulations! That's a good thing. A huge percentage of women seem to go for the badboy.



I’m far from the biker stereotype. In fact, I have a career in hi-tech with electrical engineering software & Oracle databases for over 28 years


I have a career in IT and it wasn't unusual for coworkers to have bikes (some rode their motorcycles to work). Keep the part after "in fact".



For fun I like to be out on my boat (but not alone), ride along the beach roads on the motorcycle, take day trips anywhere adventurous, attend art/music/food festivals, kayak any of the many rivers here in FL (or just off my dock towards Weedon Island), and so many other things.


You could take and upload a photo of yourself in your boat (am guessing the "boat" is a different craft from the kayak).



I am also very handy! I seldom need to call a plumber or electrician. What woman can resist a handy guy?


I'd remove this and keep your handiness a secret so people don't try to use/exploit you.



I am not talking about making fun or demeaning others who think differently, either. I like to discuss "what if" scenarios and look for solutions - not into complaining.


Best not to describe yourself as what you're not.



FYI: I'm not into "420"


I agree with those who recommend removing all references to drugs. You can address this early in conversation.



I would like to meet someone who can carry a conversation with me and challenge me, when appropriate. Also, someone who tries to stay fit and eats reasonably healthy would be nice; everything in moderation, including moderation. Because I have worked hard to get where I am financially, I would like to meet someone who also has their financial life in order. And, of course, someone who would like to travel both domestically and overseas.


Good. You're more specific than the vast majority of profiles. I've seen people on other profile reviews say to delete the "I worked hard to get where I am", saying women don't care how you got to your current state, but I say keep it for the gals who would consider it a good thing.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 21
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 1:54:17 PM
Thanks, Eric and Ainen.

Wholesome makes me sound like Susie Homemaker, Eric :p
And, believe me, when it comes to alcohol, there ain't no wholesome here!

Ainen:

I took out the "in fact" and just made that section of my career & such a new paragraph in and of itself - standalone. I also prefaced "biker" with 'antiquated' (I’m far from the antiquated "biker" stereotype.) I tell my friends often, I like to go to events by bike, but I'm not necessarily a fan of going to bike events. I am not of the mantra, "Live to Ride, Ride to Live", at all. I just ride to ride.

I also took your advice about taking out the "what I'm not" - great point! But, I will keep the handy part - they can use me ;-) ... Bill Withers style.

Thanks again!!!
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 22
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 2:54:41 PM
Hi Alan, sorry I missed your question early on, I am on a lap top. This is a huge improvement over what you had, but I do have a few things for you to consider.

Firstly, do not speak from the perspective of others, you are who you are, OWN it.

Secondly, the only hint of who you really are is enigma, and that is in reference to physical appearance not your personality, your personality is still missing in action.

Be very careful to avoid redundant and or painfully obvious content. The bold text would be an example, or at least parts of it.

Best wishes

Jerry
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 23
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 7:16:16 PM
I agree that the 420 issue should be addressed in the profile. I hate the stench and am allergic to all smoke so I made a reference to it in my profile, although I though it was done tongue-in-cheek and only ever had one guy try to argue the point.

It is shaping up very nicely, though.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 24
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/17/2014 11:33:37 PM
Alan,

It's looking much better.
Changing wording and deleting the unnecessary really made a difference.
Nice work.

Only suggestion I have is to get rid of the enigma/biker talk if you feel you are mislabeled or misjudged.
Still having trouble wrapping my head around that since riding is so mainstream.
I live in the Northeast and the attitude is very relaxed; perhaps there's a cultural difference in the St Pete area?

Why is that sideways camping pic still here?
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 25
Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.
Posted: 11/18/2014 12:11:56 AM
Hi,

I would make the following changes to keep it all positive.


Hi and thanks for visiting my profile. Let's see, about me ...

I have a career in hi-tech with electrical engineering software & Oracle databases for over 28 years - I collect art from events like Mainsail Art and Gasparilla Art, to name a few - I'm a huge fan of modern-day Jazz (I also like MANY other genres of music) - and, I drive a MINI Cooper S.

For fun I like to be out on my boat ...

^^Please put in what type of boat Sailing? Fishing? Waterskiing?
Delete - the but not alone.

(but not alone), ride along the beach roads on the motorcycle, take day trips anywhere adventurous, attend art/music/food festivals, kayak any of the many rivers here in FL (or just off my dock towards Weedon Island), and so many other things.

I can cook, but I really like to go out to eat. I am a huge fan of sushi, but I have a very diverse interest of food - especially spicy food! It doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant to be worthwhile ... it has to be a restaurant that serves food with flair and depth.

I am also very handy! I seldom need to call a plumber or electrician. What woman can resist a handy guy?

Other things I do with my time include Gators football games (I'm a booster/season ticket holder), watch some TV (sit-coms [Big Bang Theory!], a few of the reality shows [Master Chef, The Voice] and documentaries on PBS or BBC), and I go to the gym three days a week & walk five miles every day.


I enjoy intelligent, curious conversations about politics, health, world affairs & current events. I like to discuss "what if" scenarios and look for solutions where others just seem to complain.

Lastly, I can be a total goof. I love to make people laugh. In my early 20s I did open-mic stand-up comedy for year in Baltimore and D.C. As you can see, I have a flourishing career in comedy to this day ;-) C'est la vie!

FYI: I'm not into "420"

As for the woman I am looking to meet/date ...

I would like to meet someone who can carry a conversation with me and challenge me, when appropriate. And, of course, someone who would like to travel both domestically and overseas.

^^^
I think it reads OK.
Just needs a few minor changes.

Regarding 420 and Also, someone who is, and stays, fit and eats reasonably healthy would be nice; everything in moderation, including moderation. Because I have worked hard to get where I am financially, I would like to meet someone who also has their financial life in order.
^^^

Perhaps something like you already have


I am seeking someone like me:
Reasonably fit and healthy, with life sorted.


Ask the questions during emails, phone calls and casual first meets.


Good luck.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Profile Review and Honest, Blunt Feedback - Please.