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Show ALL Forums  > British Columbia  > Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?      Home login  
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 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 1
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim? Page 1 of 1    
I have been reading some profiles on plenty on fish and have seen several that have "looking to date this, or these two specific ethnicity only"
Why would it be socially acceptable for a person to date someone of certain racial background, yet discriminate against others?
Lets say I was hiring new employees for a job position, yet I had a preference for a specific ethnicity. I would be in violation of Canadian Charter of Human Rights and be called a racist.
Why are some forms of racism socially acceptable while others are not?

The sexual market place can be compared to a lottery of love, most lose, some win, but everyone takes part. Lets say I exclude a certain part of the population based on ethnicity, the way I see it is that ethnicity could be counted as a lottery ticket in this "lottery of love", since there are over 7 billion people on this planet, and millions of people are divided up among categories of ethnicity , wouldn't that be a huge chunk of lottery tickets thrown in the trash?
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 2
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 12/1/2014 3:36:25 PM
People are attracted to what they are attracted to. You can't force them to date who they don't want to. It's not racism. Sheeesh!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 3
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 12/1/2014 5:00:39 PM

Why would it be socially acceptable for a person to date someone of certain racial background, yet discriminate against others?


Anybody can date anyone. And every person has the "right" to say no or yes.

I think what your "Problem" may be is that they actually tell you point blank, in writing that it's a "no" for some people and a "possible yes"(no guarantee) for others in their profiles. I don't believe you can pull out the "race card" on this one. If you asked a person in a bar if they wanted to date you, all you would get would be a no or a yes, not an explanation "why". Can you see were I coming from here?????

Hey, don't feel bad. The majority of women will never go out with a cranky old guy, who admits he smokes illegal, legal stuff,drinks like a fish, and doesn't have "marriage" as a goal. It's not my choice, it's theirs. And remember, not so long ago, any "mixing" of any race was frowned upon, dating or otherwise.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 4
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 12/12/2014 8:42:33 AM
True, and if some restaurants want to serve a certain ethnicity exclusively , it would not be Racism.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 5
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 12/12/2014 2:16:33 PM
You are confusing two issues. If a caucasian woman says she only wants to date black men is she racist? If an asian woman says she only wants to date an asian man or a a caucasian man is it racism?

I would argue not necessarily. Sure, some people may be racist and only want to date someone of their own ethnicity for that reason. But sometimes it's about what someone finds attractive and its a personal choice. Personally, I am open to dating any ethnicity. But I do find darker more exotic looking women like asians or south american/hispanic more physically attractive than the blonde next door look. Iit's simply what I find appealing.

In the end, there's no law against it. It's not the same as discriminating in who you will serve in a business or who you will hire for a job.

Honestly, I think you are looking for an excuse as to why you may have struggled to get dates. instead of blaming others, look at how you were doing things and change it. I'm not sure if you tried dating with your current profile but it majorly sucks. Your photo is terrible and you haven't written anything the least bit interesting.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 6
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 12/13/2014 4:59:28 AM
True, and if some restaurants want to serve a certain ethnicity exclusively , it would not be Racism.


Well, not really. Restaurants are, by default, to "service" everyone(the public). Are you saying you want a woman to go by those same rules??????? As in, a woman should "accept" every "offer" given to her?????? Yeah, no.

Like I said, you are really reaching on this one.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 7
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 1/6/2015 9:13:42 AM
I am here for the discussion in the forums. Not dating. I have no problem with finding a "date". Cool ad hominem attack tho.

"Discrimination is action that denies social participation or human rights to categories of people based on prejudice.[1] This includes treatment of an individual or group based on their actual or perceived membership in a certain group or social category, "in a way that is worse than the way people are usually treated".[2] It involves the group's initial reaction or interaction, influencing the individual's actual behavior towards the group or the group leader, restricting members of one group from opportunities or privileges that are available to another group, leading to the exclusion of the individual or entities based on logical or irrational decision making.[3]"

"It's not the same as discriminating in who you will serve in a business or who you will hire for a job."
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 8
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 1/7/2015 1:04:12 PM
You're reaching. Sorry. Dating preferences are not discrimination. If a dating service or the government said you could not date certain ethnic groups due to your ethnicity that would be discrimination. Nobody is denying you the social participation or opportunities or privileges of dating just because certain women don't want to date your ethnic group. Other women will. You can still date and are not denied that.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 9
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 1/7/2015 2:54:22 PM
"Why is it racist? Because treating individual people as a monolithic group that you collectively accept or reject denies them the right to be viewed and judged as individuals. “I won’t date _________ people” means that you think _______ people have something universally in common that you don’t like, and since the only thing they have in common is a socially constructed and arbitrarily enforced categorization as ________, the thing you’re uncomfortable with is their race, and that is racist"
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 10
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 1/7/2015 3:45:51 PM
Wow, news flash. Some people are racist. So what? You can't change or control a person's attitude. Some may choose not to date certain ethnic groups because of that. Some people simply have attraction preferences and are only attracted to their own ethnic groups. I've known white guys who had a thing for asian women and won't date caucasian women. They aren't racist, they are just attracted to a certain thing. Many black women will only date black men because that's what they find attractive. Some caucasian women will also only date black men because that's what they are attracted to. Are you suggesting those caucasian women are racist against caucasians?

But you are suggesting some sort of discrimination under the eyes of he law which is a very different thing. Personally, I, as a middle aged caucasian man in Canada, am discriminated against every day. You, as an aboriginal, have many benefits in our society not available to me. I guess I should be crying about discrimination as well? :-P
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 1/8/2015 5:38:18 PM

Because treating individual people as a monolithic group that you collectively accept or reject denies them the right to be viewed and judged as individuals. “I won’t date _________ people” means that you think _______ people have something universally in common that you don’t like, and since the only thing they have in common is a socially constructed and arbitrarily enforced categorization as ________, the thing you’re uncomfortable with is their race, and that is racist"


Women(no matter their race) that only want to date say, black men, are "racist"????? Women, that only want date, say, within, their OWN "race", are "racist"????? Women, that only want to date, say, purple aliens only, again, "racist"?????

Again, you are really "reaching" when you start telling people that they can't chose who they can or cannot date, defining it as a "race" issue or suggesting they are "racist". Maybe it is, or maybe it isn't but, it isn't "always" the case.

Next thing you are going to tell me is that I have to "accept" stupid people too??? I don't think so.
 VoluptiousVixen
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 12
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 3/13/2015 2:44:32 PM
Well Walts
There might be some ladies who would date a man such as yourself but .....not sure if they would date you if you weren't wearing a belt :) Glad to see your still alive and kicking !
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 13
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 3/20/2015 4:21:56 PM

I have been reading some profiles on plenty on fish and have seen several that have "looking to date this, or these two specific ethnicity only"
Why would it be socially acceptable for a person to date someone of certain racial background, yet discriminate against others?


Translation: The nerve of these women excluding my ethnicity. Let's racist shame them so they'll stop preemptively turning me down.
 GreenColoured
Joined: 3/12/2015
Msg: 14
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 3/24/2015 3:08:14 PM
I'll just point out that the problem of denying job based on race can outright deny you the right to life. A job is necessary to house and feed yourself. Dating a woman is...a nice thing to have, but not a NEED.

More importantly, EVERYONE has a preference! Some of them just have a preference towards certain races. It doesn't necessarily have to do with racism. You don't choose who or what you are attracted to. I wish you could, but you can't.


You say you're only in it for discussion, but some of your responses and uses of semantics suggests that you are genuinely angry that some women won't date you based on race. Well for that let me just tell you this...there are "plenty of fish". If some women don't want to date you based on your race, others might not mind.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 15
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 4/18/2015 5:37:36 PM
A job working for me would not be a "need" since there are "Plenty of fish" in the job market. I just have a preference for who works for me. Its not racism. Only a closet racist would consider it racist.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 16
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 4/18/2015 5:41:49 PM

Translation: The nerve of these women excluding my ethnicity. Let's racist shame them so they'll stop preemptively turning me down.


Lets fat shame fat, single mothers so we would not have to use a dating site.
 User8472
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 17
Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 4/20/2015 5:16:19 PM

Women(no matter their race) that only want to date say, black men, are "racist"????? Women, that only want date, say, within, their OWN "race", are "racist"????? Women, that only want to date, say, purple aliens only, again, "racist"?????


That is just fetishizing a race and is just as dumb/stupid as being a racist.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 18
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 9/22/2015 12:42:28 AM
It seems it is an "acceptable" form of racism. (around here anyway).
Just not in my book.

A "preference" is just trying to guess beforehand. (based on what)? As if the past is relevant for the now).


We should and can grow up and out. (and maybe then we'll be attracted to the kind/loving ======'s our society taught us were "not worthy" because they are ...?


YES, it's racism/xenophobia and it's common (but not acceptable for moi ).
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 19
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Exclusionary Racial Preference is an acceptable form of racisim?
Posted: 2/1/2016 7:49:04 AM
Personal choice in friends or lovers... that covers a lot of ground. I'm certainly not comfortable with "I'd never date any XXX," but I'm not ready to call it "unacceptable," though actually SAYING it goes a lot further.

I've never heard of a restaurant wanting only a certain ethnicity to dine there (not counting those bars where nobody has any business being there unless they have business with the guys at the back table), but I can't see it as racist to not want to visit a restaurant with an ethnic menu. I can't stand cheese or coffee, and avoid coffee bars and pizzerias, but avoiding any business because they have XXX employees is both pushing and legitimizing those businesses to discriminate against XXX's. Remember the bar owner in Montreal who said he liked black people just fine, but barred them from his bar because "They don't spend money and bother the women?" Or the North Van bookstore that told black employees not to go where customers might see them? Or the Golf course who only let non-whites work in the kitchen? Or when JAL was revealed to be seating South Asians in the back of their planes because "Their curry smell bothers the others?"

All that's racism, and it's something we can do something about in law and practise. It's harder to come down on people for their choices unless they express them in racial terms.

But think of the shaming of black men in the US who date white women! It happens here in many ethnic communities, too, even among natives. Tribalism is only starting to go away. ISIS is still killing people based on race and sectarianism in our world.

Not feeling obligated to date someone from every category isn't anywhere near that bad. What can you do about preferences? I met a really exceptional black woman I really liked, but she was only willing to date women. Still a great friend, though, to this day. Should I call her "sexist?"
ED BEAR

And I'm still saying that SAYING "No XXX" is Uncool. (My overaged-hippe euphemism for "unacceptable.")
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