|request reviewPage 1 of 1 |
|well...the subject says it...not seeming to be able to get any hits...send out tons of msgs ...comment on their profile..get some views..a couple of nibbles as in replies but no one is really seeming interested in keeping a convo going...tried to insert a little wit in my profile but it hasn't seemed to help...any help would be appreciated.|
Posted: 12/7/2014 11:39:39 AM
|Your photos are weak.|
You need crystal clear photos of you AT YOUR VERY BEST. Ditch the mirror selfies and SMILE!
Your text is good in parts, but there is a lot of negativity. You basically open by saying 'I live a boring hum-drum lifestyle', is it any surprise women who want passion romance and adventure arnt responding?
These bits can all go, the whole 'poor me, nice guys always get looked over' is attractive to no one. Just reads as self pitty.
Let's face it, I don't live the life of a rock-star or famous athlete....
Maybe the rock-star lifestyle would be fun, but I don't want to live that life and a girl that's looking for that is not for me.
I fully don't expect you to message me, I guess if I was getting 20 or 30 messages a day from people I wouldn't have time to message each one of them either. Unfortunately real, honest guys like me often get passed over because we don't stand out among the hundreds on here trying to find a date by auto-blasting e-mails they have stored up on a hard drive.
For sports I think soccer is the only one I have ever really been big into, but as long as there are others around that are into whatever on, I usually get into it as well.
Be CONFIDENT you are a great guy and any woman would be lucky to date you, so show the reader how confident fun and exciting you can be.
Use words like 'passion' 'excitement' 'adventure' and 'romance'
What is it that makes you unique, why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on this site? (Being a dorky PC tech does not make you unique, there are lots of them)
What attributes do you find attractive in a woman?
What is it like to date you?
Answer these with confidence and some great pictures and you'll be well on your way :)
Posted: 12/7/2014 11:51:15 AM
|You took a bunch of selfies scowling at your phone. That's attractive to women? Yes or no?|
At your age you're undecided whether or not to have children? A woman in her late 30's knows for sure if having children is a yes or a no and when she fills out the POF search criteria she's filling it out to her preferences looking for a man who's on the same page as her about having children. How many women out there do you suppose are using undecided about having children when filling out their search criteria? You're fishing in a very small pond.
Posted: 12/7/2014 12:24:14 PM
|good points...ill try to get it all worked out...as for the undecided on children, i have kids already, i dont want anymore but i dont mind if someone does have kids...there really isnt an option for no additional, and when i see a woman have does not want children it automatically makes me wonder if they enjoy the kids they have, or if they dont have any, or want someone with kids so im not really sure what to put there|
Posted: 12/7/2014 12:43:05 PM
i have kids already, i dont want anymoreThen your answer is "no". Most people assume "I don't want kids" means "I do not wish to produce any (more) children", not "I wish to get rid of my current children". PoF has an option to restrict messages from single parents, so the fact you can see her profile already means she is open to dating a guy with kids.
Posted: 12/7/2014 10:24:52 PM
not seeming to be able to get any hits...
You currently have no photos and virtually no profile. You were going to fix both, right?
A woman needs to be able to see who she's talking to, and get a sense of personality and humour. There's just not enough there for someone to get that sense yet.
If you are truly freaking out about adding photos and information, you may want to contribute to the Forums pages that have to do with your interests - it may help you start conversations with like-minded people. Otherwise, you will have to actually make the effort to present a profile that gives a sense of personality and reasons why someone would enjoy spending time with you. Let us know when you're done.
Posted: 12/8/2014 8:24:56 AM
|"Prefers not to say" is evasive.|
Yes = wants more kids
No = doesn't want more, likes the one he has, ok with her having them too unless otherwise stated.
Glad you deleted that bit you cribbed off the internet.
If you're drawing a blank, read some profiles for ideas.
Talk more about your green lifestyle.
It's different, interesting, and I assume you want to find someone who has similar outlook.
Posted: 12/8/2014 11:17:10 AM
tried to insert a little wit in my profile but it hasn't seemed to help
You were wise to remove the "canned internet wit."
That was as old as two month expired milk.
Your profile has evaporated down to a few interests,
no pictures, and three sentences altogether.
From the little you wrote in your "About me" you seem interesting.
Different and interesting is good. Hey, if it was easy
everyone would be having success here. Keep trying.
nothing to elaborate, just me and you in the car watching the stars, .....
Sounds like an incredibly cheap date.
I suggest keeping your idea at "make-out point" for a much later time than the first date.
Posted: 12/8/2014 5:11:55 PM
|yeah i totally stripped it untill i can get some stuff in there..i thought i hid it too..but i guess that was only from searches|
Posted: 12/12/2014 5:07:13 PM
|its back up..best i could do at the moment i think|
Posted: 12/12/2014 6:21:47 PM
|You still hate kids? "Prefer not to say" is not an acceptable answer if you're looking for more than a quickie.|
Great main photo! Now add more.
You could easily add a couple more Interests - favourite sport/team, comedian, dessert, holiday spot...
The profile itself is unfortunately still mainly generic. Let's have a look:
My name is Gary and I’m looking for a girl with a great and spontaneous personality.
It already says "About Gary", and wouldn't you be looking for a woman at your age?
I’m a hard worker, dependable, and very outgoing.
Looks great on a resume, not so much on a dating profile. You can delete this line entirely.
through Friday I’m in the technology world resolving high tech issues. I love my job and what I do.
OK... this should be on it's own.
On the weekends I like to go out with friends, watch a good movie, horseback riding, and hiking. Or just spend a relaxing evening at home with that special someone.
Other than horseback riding, this is virtually interchangeable with literally thousands of other guys on this site. What KIND of movie? What was the last one you saw? What are you looking forward to seeing? WHERE do you go riding? Do you own a horse? What do you love about it? Hiking WHERE?? Same with the staying home - what's your idea of a relaxing evening (that doesn't include anything sexual in the profile) ?
As for the kind of woman I find attractive … she has to have a good smile, easy to talk to, down to earth attitude, knows how to get most out of life.
She "has to", does she? That's a bit demanding. Rephrase? You have also describe vritually how every woman on this site believes themselves to be.
She’s active, both mentally and physically, confident, enjoys the outdoors, likes healthy eating, and has a good sense of humor.
Part two of the shopping list. What is your idea of active? Gym time? chasing kids? What if she likes to eat healthy but enjoys the occasional bacon-cheeseburger (and c'mon, who in their right mind doesn't?) "Good sense of humour" is another of those things that needs to be shown/clarified. I find Emo Phillips hysterical and Seinfeld annoying. Sarcasm and puns make me want to throat-punch someone. What kind of humour do YOU have? Don't answer here, put it in your profile.
As you should be correcting the Kids question to "No", you may want to add the line "I am open to meeting someone who may already have a child(ren) at home" or something like that.
If you meet most of these traits and aren’t afraid of having some fun, send me a message and let’s chat …
"Fun" is such a loaded word on theses sites. If someone sees themself in your description, they will respond to your message. But - you still need to add photos, personality and humour for them to get a sense of you and feel like they may have something in common. "Meeting those traits" also sounds like a shopping list/checklist. Do rephrase.
Posted: 12/14/2014 6:59:08 AM
|It still feels generic. After reading it, all I remember is that you like your job. You need to share specifics. What is your favorite genre of movie? Any hiking stories to share? what kind of art do you like? You can have multiple paragraphs so that you further develop certain topics.|
The new photo is good. Work on adding more, especially one that head to toe.
Posted: 12/14/2014 10:07:54 AM
|You really aren't paying attention to the advice given, so why are you here?|
The current version is worse than the original.
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:23:31 PM
|well...obviously profile dating is not for me...i almost loathe writing about myself, and feel about the same way for expounding my virtues ...sooo.... think im gonna just leave it as is and try something else...thanks for trying anyway...and there were some good tips and thanks for those...and to tatersprout....wow..thanks for the kick in the ass|