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 OhhRobby
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 1
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Hello,

So I have been on here for about a week so far. I have messaged several women and I can see they are looking at my profile but I'm really not getting any messages back. Now when I message them I make sure to read their profile completely and always include some questions/conversation starters. Is my profile lacking or are they just not attracted to me? The only reason I am so curious is in everyday life I tend to be very successful at getting dates and just building friendships in general. It seems I’m kind of struggling here so any advice will be appreciated.

Thanks,
Rob
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 2
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Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 11:46:29 AM
There's a big thing missing from your DATING profile.......DATING!

From looking at your pics and text it looks like you are a frat boy looking for a bro-mance, looking for a buddy to look at cars and go Frisbee-golfing with.

Talk about some things woman might enjoy doing with you, travel, restaurants, movies etc.

Talk about what you are looking for and the type of attributes you find attractive in a woman (personality not looks)

What is it like to date you? What does romance mean to you?

Use words like 'passion', 'romance' and 'excitement' women respond well to them.


Hope that helps.
 OhhRobby
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 3
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Posted: 12/7/2014 12:19:36 PM
haha yeah that helps and I see what you are getting at. I’m definitely not the romantic type is the problem and I’m not looking for the romantic type in a girlfriend. It’s actually a huge turn off for me. I am looking for a best friend that we can enjoy being together yet still have our own independent friends/personalities. I guess online dating probably won’t work out real good for my kind of personality type. Thanks for taking the time for the review. Back to the frats….
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4
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Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 12:34:13 PM
Just this makes a nice sentence to put in your profile.



I am looking for a best friend that we can enjoy being together yet still have our own independent friends/personalities.



Just remember most women come one her to date and find a potential new boyfriend, most are looking for a serious relationship. Most women like being wined and dined and want to be swept off their feet.

If you are just looking for friends/FWB then, I'm not saying you are in the wrong place, but your options will be limited.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 5
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 12:42:18 PM
OhhRobby...welcome to the Profile Reviews forum.
My suggestion is to "paint a bit of color" on why you moved from Michigan to Tennessee.

The way you have it written now makes it seem like it is rather shrouded in mystery.
For online dating, one of the most compelling things a man can do for a woman is make her feel safe and secure.
My suggestion would be to be more candid: "Got a job offer in Nashville / followed buddies here after graduation / etc.

Your pics seem pretty good.
Lastly, you will wish to read your narrative again to catch remaining spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization errors. I concur with ScooterSB about you including that straightforward clarifying sentence in your profile.
 OhhRobby
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 6
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Posted: 12/7/2014 12:59:34 PM
I am going to add a section in my profile of what I am looking for. Guess I kind of missed that. Thanks

I am not looking for FWB at all. I have had several long term relationships and am looking for a long term relationship again. What I was getting at is my form of dating/relationship is a lot different than the sweep them off their feet thing. I don't believe in a lot of the chasing women around buying them food/drinks and pretending to be Romeo. I believe in treating them as equals from the get go and that means we split everything equality from the activity to the cost. I really think the dating culture has really gotten out of whack to where guys have to do these kinds of things to get a woman’s attention and it’s almost expected. Well I guess I’ll be the guy waiting on the sideline for when women wake up and realize it’s not working for them...
 OhhRobby
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 7
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Posted: 12/7/2014 1:39:41 PM
Okay, I agree with the suit picture and getting rid of it and I just uploaded a picture of me preflighting my old plane. I got rid of some of the description on the profile but I guess I am kind of confused about the old car commit and not trusting me. How do I build that trust or make it seem more realistic?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 8
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 2:41:59 PM
Hey back
Well the Main makes you look older, and honest, the boat picture is like your head was attached to a mannequin, I wouldn't use it.
Are you planning a bank heist? Is there some reason you'd be looking for a partner in crime? That term has been done to a crisp, jumped the shark, etc.
So you go to the gym, you play sports. Why should she be pleased to get a msg from you>
Dating profile, it is a dating profile.. bring some " date material" to it, k?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 9
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 10:15:49 PM
Heyy, Rob. I like you. I've also had a big glass of Crown Royal, just sayin'...

You have a great smile, especially in the picture with the tool thingy. If you can get a shoulders up big smiling head shot like that as your main it will definitely be click-worthy.

To me, there were no really big red flags, just a sense of a guy looking for someone to hang out with. That's OK because you're young.

I was never a sweep-me-off-my-feet kinda girl. That's too much work. I like the approach you are taking in that a partner should be a partner. Why not add a more specific line about the type of lady you'd like to meet? Someone independent, able to find the humour in silly things, someone spontaneous yet responsible... avoid the clichés.

Other than the flying Interests, in that section it seem pretty generic. Why not replace the boring generic words with one or two-word specific examples for each?

In every day life, personality and energy come into play when you are talking to someone face-to-face. Are you holding back in your profile or messages? Introduction messages should be light, short, specific to her profile, and include only one question so she has an easy way to respond IF she chooses. You have great potential here. Good luck, and be patient!!!!
 bluuriver
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 10
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Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 10:36:36 PM
I could see nothing wrong with your profile.
You are attractive and seem to be very mature.

I think probably the issue is that the girls you message are flooded with responses.
Maybe try posting to forums to get your name around POF.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 11
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/7/2014 11:26:44 PM
If you are successful in real life getting dates, why are you here? In a huge ocean full of other fish looking for their catch. Your profile is fine as far as it goes. It may be that the women you are messaging are fakes or flakes. You can hang in for months or even years and not snare a catch. That is the way it can be online.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 12
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/8/2014 7:55:07 AM
Hi Rob,

You will be getting both good and bad advice; take what you can use.


What I was getting at is my form of dating/relationship is a lot different than the sweep them off their feet thing. I don't believe in a lot of the chasing women around buying them food/drinks and pretending to be Romeo. I believe in treating them as equals from the get go and that means we split everything equality from the activity to the cost. I really think the dating culture has really gotten out of whack to where guys have to do these kinds of things to get a woman’s attention and it’s almost expected. Well I guess I’ll be the guy waiting on the sideline for when women wake up and realize it’s not working for them...
What you have described as the "dating culture" is actually traditional dating. It's definitely not new.
What you want is a very modernized view of dating and it will be difficult. I have a close friend (age 30) who feels very strongly as you do and he has a lot of trouble finding women who agree (both online and real life) even though he is successful, handsome, and has a great personality.
Just know that most women do prefer to be "wined and dined" so the pond you're fishing in will be smaller.
It's not about equality or taking advantage of someone; it's more about feeling valued.

Spelling mistakes and word usage errors.
You need more in your "about me".
Talk about your personality. She wants to know who you are.
Use small paragraphs with white space--much easier to read on a phone.

Do you have a pilot's license? That is unique and worth talking about.
Any favorite places you like in Nashville?
What kind of music do you like?
Do you have a boat or do you just like them?
Do you like going to clubs or pubs? Dancing? Women love to dance.

I love wandering through random stores and telling stories about certain items that trigger memories or dreams.
What does this mean?
Why would she need to run in heels and look good at it? I doubt that's something she wants to read.

There is a lot of competition for the hottest women in online dating, especially in your age group.
Women get tons of mail every day, no joke.
You have to really stand out in your profile and messages.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 13
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/8/2014 9:40:38 PM

If she can run in heals and look good at it that’s a bonus.
Do you anticipate her needing to run in heels while spending time with you? Are you planning a jog where both of you wear improper shoes or are you going to physically chase her on a date? A physically active woman probably knows the importance of wearing proper footwear while engaging in physical activity and sees doing extensive running in heels as unsafe. Does she loses points for choosing to protect her ankle by not running in heels?
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 14
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 5:57:05 AM
Hello, Rob,

An attractive and sound profile will include a balance of sharp, crisp photos accentuating your demeanor as well as your well-written, interesting narrative.
In doing so, y need to ensure that it's interesting, ideas well-structured in well-built paragraphs, free from cliches, spelling errors, typographical errors, and grammar errors. Clearly outline the personality you claim -- maybe use an anecdote of one of your shopping experiences. (I understand what you meant by that awkward sentence about the store trips brining up memories of things; but this is fairly common in human experiences beyond the shop experiences . This is where an anecdote might work to make the experience more interesting to read rather than somebody who is actively searching trying to figure out what the **** you're talking about.)

It may take you some time to meet quality people; but without the former properly installedin your profile, you won't see results. Unfortunately, your profile indicates, quite clearly, that a meaningful relationship isn't what you seek. You wrote that you want an independent person, with their own friends, and have a mere friendship. This can be construed as you wanting just a friends with benefits situAtion. In this situation, your words really do shoot you in the foot. If it's your intent, then expect nothing, really.

You're fairly young and your handsomeness is present, so why are you, here, if your dating experiences are a common occurrence? I don't know what you say or do to bring about that attention -- but this online, and though your looks will get your foot in the door so to speak, it's reliant on your expressions, as well.

 Tiny_danc3r
Joined: 10/6/2014
Msg: 15
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 6:36:23 AM
I sounds from both your profile and responses that you aren't looking for a date so much as buddies. As someone in you age demographic, if we went out, I would offer to pick up my half of the check... and if you let me, I'd friend zone you. Women, even independent women, want a man who is a good provider and makes a point to care for a woman... You are now in the south, so a lot of gender roles are more entrenched than they are in other areas, so keep that in mind. A man picking up the check is not "modern dating" it's traditional dating...

As for photos I'd like to see a similar pose as 5 done in the outdoors... that yellow wall is not a good color on you.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 16
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 6:48:02 AM

A man picking up the check is not "modern dating" it's traditional dating...


I would offer to pick up my half of the check... and if you let me, I'd friend zone you.

And what is a woman who makes false gestures to pick up her half, and punishes a man for accepting her offer?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 17
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 7:37:33 AM

I would offer to pick up my half of the check... and if you let me, I'd friend zone


Wow.

OP - if someone ever does this to you, don't even keep them as a friend. Games like this are for high school, not adults.
 SHS24
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 18
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 9:36:30 AM

Wow.

OP - if someone ever does this to you, don't even keep them as a friend. Games like this are for high school, not adults.


Lol.
 Tiny_danc3r
Joined: 10/6/2014
Msg: 19
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 1:12:00 PM

And what is a woman who makes false gestures to pick up her half, and punishes a man for accepting her offer?


It's not punishment, it's honesty... Women do it all the time, and guys have no clue why... there is your answer. Generosity of spirit makes a better companion. If I ask a man out, then I'll pick up the check, without ANY qualms... I expect the same.
 Tiny_danc3r
Joined: 10/6/2014
Msg: 20
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 1:21:08 PM

if someone ever does this to you, don't even keep them as a friend. Games like this are for high school, not adults.



It's far from a game, it's a simple way to find out if they have the same traditional values as I do... if they don't the odds that a lasting relationship would be successful is unlikely. Would you bother with a date if there was no attraction? Lots of people do; to me that is far worse. Why lead people on if it's not going to work? how is that any different?
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 21
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/9/2014 6:14:33 PM
"Traditional values"? Checked the calendar.... nope. High school games. Whatever.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 22
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/10/2014 2:11:21 AM
Generosity of spirit makes a better companion.

Right, so when you generously offer to pay your half, you're showing you'd make a great companion. But if they accept your generous offer, you write them off. Nice. Your "values" seem pretty one-sided. Well, if someone friend-zoned me for accepting their offer to pay, there's no way in hell I'd want to see them again. That kind of immature game doesn't interest me.

If I ask a man out, then I'll pick up the check, without ANY qualms... I expect the same.

Ha, an often used logical fallacy.

"It's not true that the guy always pays in these modern times!" cry the strong, independent women. "Whoever does the asking out, pays. If I ask, I pay, and if he asks, he pays. Isn't that gender-equal?"

Yes - until those same women refuse to do the asking out, because "I'm a traditional woman, it's a man's job to ask me out". So whoever asks pays, and the man has to do the asking. Therefore the man has to pay. QED.
 Tiny_danc3r
Joined: 10/6/2014
Msg: 23
Take a look - Got some questions
Posted: 12/10/2014 6:51:57 PM

Yes - until those same women refuse to do the asking out, because "I'm a traditional woman, it's a man's job to ask me out". So whoever asks pays, and the man has to do the asking. Therefore the man has to pay.


I'm sure there are a lot of women who don't ask men out, and I'll even give you that I don't make a rule of it... but I have and do ask men out particularly if they haven't asked me and I think we are particularly compatible. A lot of women on this site use it as a hook up or a free meal ( especially some of my college classmates), but to those who don't, it's actually a tool to find the right person. If your response to my profile review is any indication no matter what I said you wouldn't like it... and that's your prerogative.

At the end of the day you need to realize that a lot of women do the same thing, but are not honest enough to own it. Men go out on a date and think it went great, but don't get a returned call, this may be the reason why. Would you even realize it could happened had I not said anything? I think not...
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