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 k1ckN1t
Joined: 1/23/2014
Msg: 1
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Neighborhood Kids Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am going to try to make this a long story short. I really need some feedbacks.

My neighborhood has all girls that my son plays with, except a 4 year old boy. My son is 10, the girls are 7 and the other is 8 or 9. My problem lies with the 7 year old.

It all started one day when the girls, I am guessing playing, and got his Nerf gun and took off with them and hid them. He said, he told them to stop and give them back. They didn't. As he was running after them, he fell down and hurt himself. He hurt his knees and it bleed. He then hit the girls with a stick that he had. I am sure he did this become he was hurt with pain and they didn't "listen". Yes, I told him not to hit them and if he gets mad at them, the next time they do this, just to come and get me.

He later told me that the mother came and reprimand him, due from hitting her daughter with a stick. Not his words. He told me all that she (mother) said. I didn't like that. I would prefer that she had came and talk to me.

This 7 year old girl is a big bully. Bossy as everything, 2 of my friends even said she was (one was told by a neighbor with no kids and the other was told by my friend's son, who is also 7 y.o.). Ever since the incident, I have been watching more of their playing times together. She gets in his face and just screams when she doesn't get her way and such. Both girls are big tell-a-tales. The 7 year old girl even said to him and me that, my son, can't play with his toys (the Nerf gun and plastic sword that lights up) anymore and her mom said so. I told the 7 year old that they are his toys and that he CAN play with them and that if HER mom wants to talk to me, she can.

The next thing I know I am getting a letter in my mail box from this 7 year old girl saying that my son can't play in her yard anymore, do not ring her doorbell, and that she don't want to play with him anymore. I then went and talked to the mom about this letter. The mom KNEW that her daughter did this and said that she told her little girl that if she does this, she will have to face the consequences. Which I thought was odd. I told the mom that her girl provokes my son. I walked away with 2 feelings. 1.) this mom took NO responsibility for her daughter's action. 2.) she was being very passive- aggressive.

Anyway, this weekend, the 7 year old (said by my son) that she threw dirt and a pebble at him, as well as, tried to scratch him. No, I haven't talked to the mom. I feel that she already has made up her mind about him.

I am just wondering, if this were your son, what would you do? Would you not let him go out and play with them? I know if I told him just to stay in our yard this little girl will still provoke him from the street. I don't want a lot of conflicts with the neighbors. I am a single parent and everyone else is married, by this, I mean that they have their spouse to "help" them out.

Thanks for your time.
 thompson1919
Joined: 11/30/2014
Msg: 2
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/14/2014 10:11:08 AM
Well in our society unfortunately it's deemed as really wrong for boys to hit girls. It's acceptable for girls to hit boys. In the youtube video link I'm putting below a men's rights activists gives a response to a man who asks the same question about his son. The men's rights activist is a woman and she has a son. She uses a story about her and her son as an example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuFuyp8aq2A

Basically she says although it is technically abuse giving the attitude of our society we must emotionally abuse our sons by telling them not to hit back.
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 3
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/15/2014 7:16:01 AM
Perhaps all of you should have a discussion together. It sounds like the mother is trying to let the girl figure things out without guiding her at all (not a good idea). If her mother will not instruct her, you might have better luck reasoning together. Get together with the girl's mother -not as adversaries (your kid did this -yah, well, your kid did that), but working together to help the kids get along -maybe suggest you would like to show the kids an example of how to work things out together. Ask both kids about what is going on and how they think they can get along -maybe suggest some good ideas if they just shrug their shoulders -to help them start thinking about it. Maybe draw attention to any good aspects of the kids' relationship -that they seem to really like each other, but just need to figure out how to get along (or something like that). That way, you'll be setting an example in your relationship with the girl's mom, guiding the kids -letting the kids know they need to think and work toward getting along (which is important in every situation they'll ever face) -and allowing them to come up with some possible remedies to the situation themselves.
You might want to address everyone -not the girl directly, as that might ruffle her mother's feathers.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 4
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/15/2014 8:13:40 AM

I am just wondering, if this were your son, what would you do? Would you not let him go out and play with them? I know if I told him just to stay in our yard this little girl will still provoke him from the street. I don't want a lot of conflicts with the neighbors. I am a single parent and everyone else is married, by this, I mean that they have their spouse to "help" them out.


I have no respect for bullies. At that age, I don't care if they are male or female. If a kid, male or female provokes my kid and did what that girl did, I would tell him to smack her. Period. Not very PC. But very old fashion. I would also tell my son, not play at that girl's place at all. I would also teach my kid to recognize when the girl is taunting and to give her a warning. When the mother comes to me complaining, I would put the mother ON the spot. And explain that she needs to take care of her bully kid.
 k1ckN1t
Joined: 1/23/2014
Msg: 5
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Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/15/2014 6:11:29 PM
thompson1919- Thank you for sharing that link. It was very informative and I hope other parents do watch this. Just because boys are just boys, doesn't mean that it gives a girl a right, just because she is a girl, to bully a boy. In which I am in agreement with InnerGorilla.

AlienHumanHybrid- I agree with this as well. I wish I would have thought of this before hand. However, when I went to ask/talk to the mom about the letter, I didn't know we would bring the other incident back to topic. When she brought this up, I was just explaining why my son did what he did. While I did talk to my son about this (I told her that I did), she didn't mention that she will talk to her daughter about when someone say's "stop", it means "stop". This, to me, would have been a good communication skill to teach her daughter and that was all I wanted to hear, was validation. Since I didn't feel "heard", I decided to talk to my son and bring up InnerGorilla's points

InnerGorilla- Thank you for this point, which was what I told my son, somewhat. Today, I decided to sit him down and talk to him more about what to do. Just because the girl threw a rock (and dirt) at him, my son could have gotten hit in the eye or in the mouth and loose a tooth, doesn't make it right. I told him not to hit first, EVER (to a boy or a girl), but to give a warning first. Then if that warning was not heard, to return what he says he will do.

Thank y'all for your input!!
 thompson1919
Joined: 11/30/2014
Msg: 6
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/15/2014 7:08:22 PM
Absolutely. That particular lady is an awesome men's rights advocate who is in a similar circumstance to yourself and thats how she became a men's rights advocate. lol :)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 7
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/16/2014 1:37:44 PM

InnerGorilla- Thank you for this point, which was what I told my son, somewhat. Today, I decided to sit him down and talk to him more about what to do.


Glad I could help.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 8
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/17/2014 7:32:58 AM
When a neighborhood bully was after my son I went into his 6 year face and said that if he so much as lay a finger on my son , I will NOT allow my son to play with him anymore.
Because he is such a bully, no one wants to play with him so I threatened to take away his privileged to play with my son/



Op , your son is to be treated with respect, whether it be a girl or a boy of any age.
bottom line
and he should take NO crap from them either
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 9
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 4:52:14 AM
Other than the "possible" teasing from the bully or bully's "friends" why would you even want your son to hang around these little biatches?????? My father taught me how to handle bullies at a very young age. Head on!!!!! Still works today, yet, they still whine to whomever will listen when they get the same shiat that they put out. And yes, I had many a visit to the principal's office but, I was articulate and intelligent enough to explain why I finished the fight that someone else started. Your son, at 10 should have these skills installed already.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 10
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 8:09:31 AM

Your son, at 10 should have these skills installed already.


Walts, first you have to reboot the system. Then you have to check what version of the Operating System it has. Then you have to check the firmware, does it have the male extension or the PC version. Then you have to run a virus check for unwanted family programs and weird protocols. Only then can you do a full "Install."

;-)
 Dan198508
Joined: 11/7/2014
Msg: 11
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 9:45:37 AM
My father taught me how to handle bullies at a very young age. Head on!!!!! Still works today, yet, they still whine to whomever will listen when they get the same shiat that they put out.


It depends on the bully...my strategy was to befriend them. There was some 3 year older bullies in my highschool, with the alpha bully at the top. He had total disregard for life, if you stood up to him he wouldn't bother hurting you, he would just kill you with whatever he had, a knife, a pen, a creditcard. There are many people who belong in jail, but before they go to jail they are in highschool and you don't want to be the reason why they go to jail forever.

My asset was that I was top in my class in chemistry, and they wanted to know how to isolate DXM from cough syrup or codeine from over the counter preparations. Since it's not illegal to teach science, I showed them how to do it and so I gained their respect. We would talk during breaks etc.

Of course some people used to bully me before, but when I was hanging out with THE bullies, they would now change sidewalk to avoid me when I was walking on the street and inside the school they started to smile and say hello. Lol.

The violence was indeed an aspect for which they were feared but the main one is that they were into pills and they were showing it. Like, Phillip would count pills during class, pills on the right, 20$ bills on the left. It was just over the counter codeine pills but the others didn't know that. The teachers always acted like they saw nothing.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
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Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 10:40:27 AM
10 year old boys need to be around other hard playing boys with dirty hands, nerf guns and swords, not rotten little 7 year old girls.
I would suggest signing him up for karate, cub scouts or any after school activities that remove him from the neighborhood witches. 7 and 8 year olds are far too young to be outdoors without adult supervision and that mother is no help.
But he needs some man time to learn self protection skills, and at 10 should know not be hitting girls. He's too old for mommy to be having sit downs with female 7 year old bullies. Invite boys his own age over. If you don't develop his male-ness he'll be bullied forever.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 13
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 11:00:32 AM

and they wanted to know how to isolate DXM from cough syrup or codeine from over the counter preparations. Since it's not illegal to teach science,


So let me get this straight. You showed them now to make Meth?

Dude. Would you consider it a crime if in "teaching chemistry" you taught someone how to use fertilizer and a few other ingredients to make a home made explosive?

Back to the bully subject. I did not befriend the bullies of my youth. The bullies of my youth had their cronies, THAT were their friends. And the cronies went around the bully laughing and picking at some other kid. More often than not the bully graduates to become the leader of some gang. I grew up in a very dangerous city. A city that makes New York or even Beirut seem like a theme park. When I was growing up it was not as dangerous as it is today, but you had to learn from an early age a concept foreign to people In the STATES, and that is to draw blood. Of course, in those dates, you did not settle your disputes by pulling a gun out and shooting half your classmates. You fought, you defended yourself and in some animalistic sort of way, there was honor as well. When I was a kid I went around with a sling shot. With my friends it was used to harass lizards and little birds, but outside of my neighborhood it was used as self defense. And believe me not, I used it several times and it drew blood.
In school or around my neighborhood bullies were treaded differently. No sling shot, but a fist fight. I was not a bellicose kid. I did not pick fights. I always preferred to "Reason" myself out of situations. Something that helped me many times in the future when here in the USA to defuse bar fights. But when a bully and his entourage of laughing friends picked on me I had to take matters into my own hands.
Interestingly enough in my situation the bully then treaded me with respect. Some that in later years then became my friends.
 Dan198508
Joined: 11/7/2014
Msg: 14
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 11:17:14 AM
Dude. Would you consider it a crime if in "teaching chemistry" you taught someone how to use fertilizer and a few other ingredients to make a home made explosive?


Such extraction procedures belong to the harm reduction domain, because they are based on the assumption that the drug addict will use the pills anyways, so teaching him to remove the acetaminophen will not only save his liver but also lower health care costs to society. You live in USA so you wouldn't understand but in Canada, if you're sick, society pays to make you healthy. There's also a moral issue, in terms of preventing damage and saving a life.

Regarding your comment on explosives, there's nothing wrong with knowing how to make them. It's called science. If I didn't know that mixing nitric acid with glycerine made a powerful explosive, and that mixing sulfuric acid with methanol made a chemical weapon, I wouldn't be qualified to work safely in a lab under WHIMIS law. Knowing about it is REQUIRED, to be a chemist, making it is wrong an unlawful, unless you have a government issued licence.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 15
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 11:25:48 AM

there's nothing wrong with knowing how to make them. It's called science. If I didn't know that mixing nitric acid with glycerine made a powerful explosive, and that mixing sulfuric acid with methanol made a chemical weapon


But would you TEACH it to someone? That is the actual question.


You live in USA so you wouldn't understand but in Canada, if you're sick, society pays to make you healthy.


I have no argument on this statement, since I believe that the US approach to drugs is draconic and if anything feeds into the creation of organized crime, drug cartels, and criminalization of users. There are countries in Europe, which don't quote me, but I think it's either Norway or Denmark, where they treat the addict as a disease instead of a criminal and they have cut substance abuse extensively.

Okay, back to the bully subject.
 Dan198508
Joined: 11/7/2014
Msg: 16
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 11:27:01 AM
But would you TEACH it to someone? That is the actual question.


If somebody asked me about the CH3OH/H2SO4 reaction with intent to make a product without a licence, I would say I can't remember it exactly and call the Police. I'm not sure I understand the question.

If a collegue in a lab got clearence to make such a compound I would teach him to make sure he does so safely. Many reactions in chemistry involve explosive intermediates that you have to make to build your product.

Like, nitroglycerine has many medical applications so it obviously has to be manufactured by chemists. Like, you mean, if certain unstable people on this forum asked me how to make that, would I tell them? No. lol. Common sense.


teaching people to make drugs for recreational use


Not making, teaching drug synthesis is illegal even in harm reduction, that's not allowed. Separating is not making.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 17
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/19/2014 11:34:01 AM

I somebody asked me about the CH3OH/H2SO4 reaction with intent to make a product without a licence, I would say I can't remember it exactly and call the Police. I'm not sure I understand the question.


Yes you did. You provided a good answer. The original analogy was of conscience between teaching people to make drugs for recreational use and in that process harm people, with the idea of teaching someone something that harms in a more direct way.

There's no argument here, since the analogy did not work because of how you in canada view drug use.
 Bachelorette.Number1
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 18
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/26/2014 9:28:01 PM
First, it's not ok for any kid to hit any kid, whether they're boys or girls. Obviously it happens but when they're that young, the gender thing shouldn't be a part of any explanation, IMO.

Second, you and the other mom need to get control of this situation. The kids are running this show - as you can tell from the he said, she said, he did this- she did that crap. Have you all sat these kids down together and give them a what for? Like YO, these are the rules....(as you list them and let em know the consequences of breaking them) and remind them that you're TOO busy for this MALARKEY.

Thirdly, it could be the girls are flirting with your son, believe it or not. But regardless of that, if this were my son, I'd start chatting about drama and a desire to stay away from it. I mean really, this is fun for them. They like goading each other on and then turning the other guy in when he takes the bait. Screw that crap - look at your post - you're curfluxxed!

I'd also start getting him to invite boys his own age over to play. Be done with the girls. For now anyway. There's bumpier roads a comin' soon enough.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 19
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Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 12/28/2014 10:42:45 AM
children need to learn to demand respect,its never okay to bully
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 20
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:19:11 PM
So -what did you end up doing about the little whippersnappers?
 k1ckN1t
Joined: 1/23/2014
Msg: 21
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Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 1/10/2015 6:11:36 AM
Nothing too much. Just talked to my son and what to do. The 7 y.o. still says sassy things to him. It hasn't been too bad, yet. The weather has been cold and wet, so they haven't been out to play. When my son has been out to play, she went in a few times. Not sure if she went in due to him coming out (I doubt it) or some other reason. I am hoping that by the time winter is gone it will all be over.

I did tell the 7 y.o. not to be throwing ANYTHING at my son. She said, "I'll try not to". I said, "No, don't try. DON'T do it"! Again, her reply was, "I'll try not to". Wow, really.......

No, I didn't say anything to her parent's. I felt like her mom didn't take any responsibility for her daughter's action the first time. I felt like it would just be idle talk.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 22
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 2/16/2015 3:17:03 AM
Oh my god, obviously your son playing with them is not working out.

Just keep your son away from them/ tell him not to play with them.

Its not worth the trouble.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 23
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:00:39 PM
There was an incident where 4 kids on my street decided to throw eggs at cars and houses/apt. My car got hit, other cars got hit. But they were quick to leave the area after throwing the eggs. Anyway the next thing they did was started calling anyone walking by their yard fags. They were calling that to women with strollers with small kids in them. Older women walking by, me, basically anyone.

So the 2nd time I walked by I noticed the gate was open, so I walked right onto the property and told each of them that if they continued to do that I would slap the dog piss out of each and every one of them. The look of sheer terror on their faces was enough for me. Then the father comes out and I rip his ass a new one because he didn't know that I knew about the eggs, and I called bullshit on the excuse that they were calling each other fags. They were looking straight at the people walking by saying that shit.

Long story short, I stopped that shit from happening. They fear me now, and that's the end of that bullshit. If I see them throwing eggs im going to grab one of them by the arm and take them home. I don't give a shit, eggs can be caustic. So if your kid has a problem, you need to discipline him, and yes do not let them play together if they don't get along.
 SeainaStorm
Joined: 2/7/2015
Msg: 24
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:17:06 PM
Be really careful about grabbing other peoples kids, whatever the reason. Unless that child is about to be seriously harmed or killed without your direct immediate physical intervention, you are biting into an apple that you may not be able to chew.

For example, if someone were to grab my 13 year old daughter for misbehavior, there would be an issue. The last thing that would be resolved would be the misbehavior of the 13 year old. Prior to that, you would be talking to the police about the assault you just committed.

Just saying.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 25
Neighborhood Kids
Posted: 2/17/2015 7:36:37 PM
These kids are middle school aged, possibly high school. I am tired of getting egged by those ****ers - the whole neighborhood is. They are all male - I would never grab a female kid. Female kids do not often throw eggs or call mothers walking by a faggot.

There are certain things that must be done, and these kids are ****ed up. So yeah, ill grab up a male kid who thinks he can egg my property.
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