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 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 1
Femdom RelationshipsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I've had a lot of fun roleplaying with past partners but have never been in an actual " female dominated " relationship.

So, my question to anyone out there who has any experience with this, past or current, are there any benefits to it ? Did you try it and realize it wasn't worth it ? Perhaps the novelty wore off ?

Responses appreciated !
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 2
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/15/2014 1:08:10 PM
I don't know why the idea of being dominated by a woman turns me on so much . I'm not a wimp at all. In fact, I think it could be why it turns me on : it goes against my true nature, which is what perhaps makes it " kinky " to me ?

I just like the whole persona of the dom, the outfits, black boots, the way she'd carry herself = SO SEXY !

I also enjoy being teased !
For example, spending an entire day inside on a rainy day where she'd wear something revealing like a see through teddy. I'd have to please her and please her throughout the day, she might tease me with her hand every once in a while, say provocative things, but I wouldn't be allowed to come until the end of the day....

Does anyone else enjoy this ?

No responses so far....maybe I should've started this topic on a Saturday night ?
 oldfashmntman
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 3
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/15/2014 5:57:43 PM
Never been there done that, but wouldn't necessarily be opposed if a woman was otherwise what I am looking for.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 4
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History
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/15/2014 7:26:55 PM
Never tried that, not wanting too either.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5
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Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:25:43 AM

I've had a lot of fun roleplaying with past partners but have never been in an actual " female dominated " relationship.

So, my question to anyone out there who has any experience with this, past or current, are there any benefits to it ? Did you try it and realize it wasn't worth it ? Perhaps the novelty wore off ?

Responses appreciated !

Define benefits... right now my kitchen is being cleaned, my laundry is being washed, and if I desire it, I will have a coffee in my hand in less than 3 minutes.


I just like the whole persona of the dom, the outfits, black boots, the way she'd carry herself = SO SEXY !

Hate to break it to you.. this is a porn image. Most of the femdoms I know do not dress this way. This style of dress is to feed the male fantasy. My fantasy is much, much different.


I also enjoy being teased !
For example, spending an entire day inside on a rainy day where she'd wear something revealing like a see through teddy. I'd have to please her and please her throughout the day, she might tease me with her hand every once in a while, say provocative things, but I wouldn't be allowed to come until the end of the day....

This is most definitely male fantasy based. You're welcome to have it, just know that this is not the same fantasy that most femdoms have.


No responses so far....maybe I should've started this topic on a Saturday night ?

Saturday night I was at a party, wearing my fuzzy leopard print slippers and comfy, non-restrictive clothes, all while doing the things that I like to do.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 6
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:40:05 AM
This sounds more like a role playing fantasy, not a femdom relationship.
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 7
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 6:30:04 AM
" Define benefits... right now my kitchen is being cleaned, my laundry is being washed, and if I desire it, I will have a coffee in my hand in less than 3 minutes."

Yes, I would call those benefits ! I'd also like to hear the benefits from the male POV...I don't suppose any of those guys are willing to " out " themselves, though.

" Most of the femdoms I know do not dress this way. This style of dress is to feed the male fantasy. My fantasy is much, much different. "

Of course, I wouldn't expect her to dress this way 24/7 but in the evenings and/or weekends when the time is right. But, yes it feeds my fantasy , I wouldn't want to do it unless there was an element of fun involved. Why not make it a win/win situation : she gets things done her way, he gets to enjoy a fantasy becoming reality. I know it's considered " topping from the bottom " if he is dominated the way he wants to be dominated. But, if it's done in a way that works for both parties involved, why not ?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 8
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:35:10 AM
A true dominant female I don't think would be as much fun. With role play, it's the temporary juxtaposition of roles that makes it new and exciting - and since it's a temporary situation, it seems 'fun' every time you try it. I think about the Robin Williams joke about 'Same Sex' marriage and how once you are married - the sex is always the same. The same kind of sex all the time is boring, and it's no different even if roles were revised long term. Ask any 'Mr. Mom' who's been married awhile and their wife is the main breadwinner if their sex lives are magically better - I highly doubt you will get an enthusiastic, "Hell, Yeah!"

I think it sounds more like you want to stretch the fantasy roleplay beyond one evening and make a weekend of it. Hell, YEAH! -- Just warn the neighbors ahead of time the weird noises are nothing to be concerned about. You may find it's not so exciting after a day or two, anyway.
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 9
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:13:42 AM
“ A true dominant female I don't think would be as much fun. “

You may be right, it would depend on how it would go. I’ve read many stories and have seen a multitude of variations of this theme. Some sound fun, some not so much , some very hot in theory but definitely NOT in reality.

For example, I read a story where the wife made her husband wear a chastity cage and rarely let him orgasm , sometimes once every month or two. While the idea of it turns me on that she could be so cruel and stingy I don’t think I would want to do this for real. Too frustrating !

“ The same kind of sex all the time is boring, and it's no different even if roles were revised long term. “

I imagine that for me personally it would take much longer to get bored if my orgasms were out of my control. We always want what we can’t have that much more vs a normal , traditional relationship where boredom sets in with orgasms being taken for granted. But , I don’t know as I’ve never been in a relationship like this. Which is why I’d be interested to hear from the males who have tried it or even the females who can speak on their behalf .

“ I think it sounds more like you want to stretch the fantasy roleplay beyond one evening and make a weekend of it. “

Yeah, that would no doubt be a LOT of fun !

But, I’m curious about trying it out full time in the future should I find a partner who would be willing. If we found it wasn’t our cup o tea, the novelty wore off, whatever so be it.

“ You may find it's not so exciting after a day or two, anyway. “

I’m quite confident since the idea has been a consistent turn on for me since I first discovered the idea as a teen, that it would take MUCH longer than a day or two to lose it’s appeal .
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 10
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:27:27 AM
you are on the wrong website...
go to CollarSpace or FetLife or google Elise Sutton or Claudia Varrin!

Do you think people on here who r 4 real r gonna admit to their fantasies, fetishes & experiences? only faceless trolls do that, pulling all their sneaky crap...

there's nothing wrong w/ ur fantasies, but the sneaky approach is the issue IMO.

MEOW
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 11
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:37:34 AM
Blonde how is this the wrong website ?

This is the sex forum where I see topics about panty masturbation, spanking, etc so why is this topic in the wrong place ? It's another variation on SEX .

What is sneaky about asking a q ?

I checked others who have posted q's and many also don't have a profile pic . Why is it ok for some but not others ?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 12
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:38:37 AM

I’m quite confident since the idea has been a consistent turn on for me since I first discovered the idea as a teen, that it would take MUCH longer than a day or two to lose it’s appeal .

Dude, you just showed your hand. Idea as a teen? When was that? Last week? Got a 14 year old troll here. I'm sure of it.
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 13
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:44:01 AM
Danimal, what are you on about ?

What is so hard to believe about reading something in a magazine 20 years ago and still finding it a turn on ?????

Geez, I'm just asking a q about something I'm interested in . Isn't that what these forums are for ????
How is that trolling ?????

If the subject doesn't interest you then just ignore it. How hard is that ?

I don't understand how it's ok for someone to begin a topic on panty masturbation but not for my topic ????

Merry Xmas ?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 14
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:50:01 AM

What is so hard to believe about reading something in a magazine 20 years ago and still finding it a turn on ?????

Because a mature adult doesn't throw sex ideas out with such feverish enthusiasm. There's consequences for those kinds of behavior, and life experiences teach you such. You're also replying instantly and 'cheerleading' your own agenda - also a sign of someone who lacks patience - like a teenager or 20 something geek looking for a reaction. Let other people reply and LEARN from them. I'm done here. Merry Christmas.
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 15
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 9:05:24 AM
“ Because a mature adult doesn't throw sex ideas out with such feverish enthusiasm. “

Feverish enthusiasm ?

That’s your perception. As I said, I’m just asking a q I don’t understand why the sudden attack.

“ There's consequences for those kinds of behavior, and life experiences teach you such.”

Consequences like seeing an “ adult “ throw a hissy fit over nothing ?

“ You're also replying instantly “

I’m replying instantly because I’m online right now . I didn’t know that there was some rule that you can’t reply instantly if you’re able to ?

“ 'cheerleading' your own agenda - also a sign of someone who lacks patience “

Wow, you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions based on your own assumptions.
You couldn’t be more wrong.

“ like a teenager or 20 something geek looking for a reaction. “

Wow, such hostility, yet your first post was nice and civil. You might want to see someone about those mood swings. I can’t fathom what triggered such a response. Was it simply because I didn’t agree that I would get bored in a day or two ? If that’s all it was then you must get angry every day. You might want to look into “ anger management “.

“ I'm done here. “

I certainly hope so for YOUR sake.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 16
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:34:35 AM
When it comes to the RELATIONSHIP, we're a partnership. She prefers when I make decisions, but they are decisions that have been consulted together. When it comes to sex, she likes to completely relinquish control. She likes it when I pin her down, spread her wide, with her knees close to her face and do her really hard. However, she also likes it doggie style when I stop and let her do all the motions. She does all the tweaking and moving. It's a total turn on because she finds the spots that turn her own intensely. There are times then, that she bangs against me so hard that I have to use a lot of force simply to keep her from knocking me down.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 17
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History
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 12:31:58 PM
I get a kick out of watching a guy squirm but I don't think I'd care for it as a fetish or lifestyle.

I'm guessing this is a case of a sexual "hook" being implanted from the exposure being one of the first.

Agree that it seems you are interested in the role playing. Could turn into a lifestyle though. Guess you'd have to try it and see if you go into subspace or not :)
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 18
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 12:50:35 PM
Thank you for the mature response Bebe.

“ Agree that it seems you are interested in the role playing. Could turn into a lifestyle though. Guess you'd have to try it and see if you go into subspace or not :) “

Yes, I find the term “ subspace “ very intriguing .
The affect it could have on the psyche ( hopefully in an enjoyable way ), if it is done in a prolonged fashion vs a couple hours of fun .

I’m sure the domestic duties would get old fast but then again, maybe they would make the more fun aspects of the lifestyle that much more appreciated ? I don’t know.

This is why I’d be very interested to hear from people who have actually tried it, even if it was only for a week.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 4:32:40 PM
As a poster above stated - a true femdom is going to dress however she wants and expect you to like it. Dressing the way you like would be about you, which is the opposite of the concept, really (unless it's used to torture you where you see it but can't get near it or something similar).

A dominatrix setting can be achieved by throwing down some money and hiring an escort service - then the girl will show up and humiliate you at your request wearing whatever you want her to wear, which would be more about what you want.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 20
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History
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:08:17 PM
I have never found any dominance fantasy attractive. I can't speak directly to this.

I do have one small suggestion, just to consider, triggered by the OP using the word "benefit."

That is, that any situation where one submits to another's complete leadership, offers one primary "benefit" to the one subjecting themselves. That is, the comfort of having someone else take full responsibility for all that happens. It is one of the basic emotional reasons why many people join clubs, schools, political parties, religions, even corporations and military organizations. Complete lack of personal responsibility is often described as a very freeing sensation.

It is also possible that there would be an appeal to associating sexuality with a person who is clearly NOT a parent, but still provides the comfort that a parental figure does. This is not a suggestion that the "sub" wants to have sex with their parents, rather the exact opposite. The "fun" of this possibility, is in having the benefits of a strong and thorough caretaker, with whom one can also have free feelings of any kind.

That last is just spit-balling from logic, and is NOT based on any expertise or personal experience. JUST a suggestion for consideration.
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 21
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:11:03 PM
" A dominatrix setting can be achieved by throwing down some money and hiring an escort service - then the girl will show up and humiliate you at your request wearing whatever you want her to wear, which would be more about what you want. "

I'd rather it be with a romantic partner , not only because I wouldn't be limited to what I could do with her ( I wouldn't feel safe doing oral with a woman for hire , for example ), as well as I'm one of those anomaly kind of guys who enjoys sex way more with someone I actually know and like.

Igor, while that may be at least part of the appeal for some, for me it is mainly in being teased, not having control of my own orgasms. You don't necessarily have to roleplay femdom for this but I found that adding that aspect gives it more depth.

Thanks for the contribution !
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 22
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History
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/16/2014 6:26:36 PM
OP, I hear there are some feminazis that would love to put you in their concentration camp, and punish you for being a man.........
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 23
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Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/18/2014 1:15:10 PM

A true dominant female I don't think would be as much fun.

What is your idea of a "true dominant female"?

You might not want a dominant partner. That's fine. There are plenty of men out there that do, and a few women too. A dominant woman might not be fun for you, and that's ok.


With role play, it's the temporary juxtaposition of roles that makes it new and exciting - and since it's a temporary situation, it seems 'fun' every time you try it. I think about the Robin Williams joke about 'Same Sex' marriage and how once you are married - the sex is always the same. The same kind of sex all the time is boring, and it's no different even if roles were revised long term. Ask any 'Mr. Mom' who's been married awhile and their wife is the main breadwinner if their sex lives are magically better - I highly doubt you will get an enthusiastic, "Hell, Yeah!"

A woman earning more money than her stay at home partner does not mean she's the dominant one, anymore than a man being the primary income provider isn't the dominant one. The dominant one is the one they both agree is the one in control. Actions are not inherently dominant nor submissive. They are actions. It's the mind-set that determines it all.

I can tell my partner that "tonight you're in charge, I will do whatever you want" but that doesn't make him the dominant one. It makes him a damned fine service top for a set period of time.


I think it sounds more like you want to stretch the fantasy roleplay beyond one evening and make a weekend of it. Hell, YEAH! -- Just warn the neighbors ahead of time the weird noises are nothing to be concerned about. You may find it's not so exciting after a day or two, anyway.

Or he might find it to be exactly the thing that he wants it to be and will want it all the time. Again, just because you might not want it doesn't mean someone else won't either.


" A dominatrix setting can be achieved by throwing down some money and hiring an escort service - then the girl will show up and humiliate you at your request wearing whatever you want her to wear, which would be more about what you want. "

I'd rather it be with a romantic partner , not only because I wouldn't be limited to what I could do with her ( I wouldn't feel safe doing oral with a woman for hire , for example ), as well as I'm one of those anomaly kind of guys who enjoys sex way more with someone I actually know and like.

Isn't it a good thing that most professional dominant women do not engage in sexual contact with their clients then?


Igor, while that may be at least part of the appeal for some, for me it is mainly in being teased, not having control of my own orgasms. You don't necessarily have to roleplay femdom for this but I found that adding that aspect gives it more depth.

You should be looking up orgasm control or chastity devices/play then if you like the idea of someone else being in charge of when and how.
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 24
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/19/2014 12:23:24 AM
Boshed; you are 34 years old, successful, well-educated. If you are so curious about this stuff why have you not experienced it? Think that is what Danial meant when he thought you a teen. Sophisticated men, by your age, have experienced all that they desire. Why haven’t you?
 Boshed
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 25
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 12/19/2014 7:39:43 AM
“ If you are so curious about this stuff why have you not experienced it?”

As I said , I have roleplayed but never “ expanded “ it beyond a few hours of fun. Why not ?

In my younger days I was reluctant to reveal this desire to partners for fear of being judged , them being turned off. I felt most women prefer their man to be the dominant one and might think a guy asking his woman to take charge as being “ wimpy “ , “ sick “ or whatever.

Then , after corresponding with a woman who lived in a different country, the subject eventually came up, to my relief she was open to it, we exchanged stories about it, I ended up going to visit her, we had a LOT of fun with it…..SHE would’ve been game for it but …. We weren’t compatible, just as well since she lived in a different country, so never happened with her.

Since then , I had another partner who was also open to it, we had fun roleplaying but couldn’t take it beyond roleplaying because she had 2 kids living with her AND the relationship never progressed to the point of cohabitation.

2 partners after her did NOT feel comfortable even roleplaying even once.

I hope that satisfies your curiosity ?
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