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 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 1
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Can someone explain to me why people who live on one side of the country will contact someone living on the opposite of the country with the hope of establishing a relationship? At this stage in life, I don't see that realistically happening. Your insights will be most welcomed.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 2
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/2/2015 4:36:22 PM
They may be in a position to travel frequently.Possibly your profile or posts intrigued them.
 ondayone
Joined: 9/6/2012
Msg: 3
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/2/2015 9:58:53 PM
well your 61, at 62 you can retire. do you ever feel like moving to warm climate area of the world ? At this age .

millions have done just that.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 4
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/2/2015 10:12:47 PM
Loneliness..and the ease of connecting these days with the ol 'puter.

Also, it's less work, when you boil it down. All you have to do is talk on the phone or type it all out..avoiding intimacy. Plus, there is a certain intensity/excitement to the "not being fully connected" that fosters an ongoing fantasy. You can sort of build that person into whatever you think you want.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 5
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/2/2015 10:13:44 PM
blacklady1953
I am with you. I dont understand why anyone who is genuine in wanting to find a partner, would contact someone far away. I get that a lot of men dont have much choice on dating sites but I think a long distance relationship is what they really want in fact. Not a full on real relationship. They can skype, email etc and have a fantasy connection without the everyday same ol same ol creeping in. Some of these people are probably partnered already and it is safe to conduct a connection at a distance, knowing that they are unlikely to meet or only very rarely, when travelling. Distance lends enchantment and that sort of thing. In short what Volcanoking says.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 6
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 1:58:17 AM
Some are more adventurous and flexible than others.

I knew I was fishing in a very small pond. So did he. We didn't expect the rarity we were looking for to be in our own back yards.

After 2.5 years long-distance, I moved to be with him, we just bought a house, and we're getting married in October.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 7
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 3:13:36 AM
That is great for you and him, LilMarleen! Congratulations! I was in a long distance relationship 20 years ago, and although we were only 100 miles apart, it became "problemmatic", due to schedules and commitments. I think those kinds of relationships work best for younger people, or those who don't have strong ties to their communities.

But I do believe that lots of people don't want "real" relationships, and prefer fantasy.....I am exactly the opposite....I didn't like fairy tales as a child.....LOL.
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 8
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 6:54:47 AM

After 2.5 years long-distance, I moved to be with him, we just bought a house, and we're getting married in October.

AWESOME! Best of luck to both of you, how wonderful & what a great testimonial.

You already have established a great relationship, this is just the "icing on the cake"!

Cannot wait till u post pix, any wedding plans yet? Do tell!
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 9
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 8:56:25 AM
Some people have few limitation regarding distance. Maybe you do but others don't. If you are not interested, change your email preferences, ignore them, block them, or simply delete the offending email. Distance is not an issue for me, so, to each their own...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 10
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 9:02:29 AM
I know more than one person that takes more airplane flights than they do bus rides in a week.

The guy (I'm assuming the person contacting was a guy) could be looking for dinner companionship, or whatever during his bouncing around "all over" the country???? Who really knows other than him, so why not ask that guy?

We actually live in a smaller world nowadays.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 11
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 9:54:01 AM
Unless someone works in the airline industry and can see you at least once a week forget about. For every success story ther are 100s or more that don't work.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 12
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 9:55:37 AM
^^^ Just like ANY relationship...success is hard to find.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 13
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 2:20:46 PM
I am inclined to agree with hotdog. I don't have the kind of $ to fly here, there, and everywhere. And seeing someone once a week is a minimum, I believe, in order to establish a relationship.

But if I ever win the lottery, and have that kind of financial freedom.....who knows?
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 14
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 7:04:20 PM
I do not even message with people beyond a 30 minute drive, because I know I am *never* going to be willing to drive further than that to "see where things go." Many of the people who contact me are 60 to 90 minutes away, or more, and they do not understand when I say the distance is too great--and I do this even when the person is very attractive to me. I know myself--I'm not going to make the effort, because my time and energy are more important to me than any relationship creating such a drain on these two precious resources--and the chances are, there won't even be a relationship, b/c I don't "click" with all that many people.

I have learned to block the guys too far away, because they either get angry that I view distance differently, or they try to dismiss/ignore my explanation. Neither of these responses is at all endearing to me!

FWIW, I do sometimes wish the guy lived closer; "if only . . ." But I move on, because like I said, I know myself!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 15
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 10:06:47 PM
My first internets relationship came from a political blog rather than a dating site. We blogged together, noticed each other, exchanged email addies, emailed, and eventually, I drove to NYC to meet him. Our first date was 10 days. Our second 6 weeks. By year's end, we moved into together. Meaning I became bi-statal. I had to keep my residence here, because I couldn't afford car insurance in NYC, lol! I also did a whole lot of food shopping when I was here. A month or two there, a week or two here. Got so I could drive it in my sleep, grin. It was always pretty close to a 12 hour drive.

He was an actor, so there was never any question of his leaving Broadway for the boonies, though I did accompany him to a couple of out of state gigs. He was on the National Tour of On Golden Pond when he ended up in ICU in Dallas. I was able to fly there, and spend the last two weeks we had, and to arrange for his cremains to be sent home. I wound down his apt in NYC, had a memorial service, and I came "home." Which no longer felt like home. He's buried in my field, just across the river.

And I'd have to say, absolute best, most loving, sexiest, most fun, joyous relationship of my life. Glad I took the risk, and regret nothing. Nothing.

 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 16
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/3/2015 10:22:40 PM
LiliMarleen
After 2.5 years long-distance, I moved to be with him, we just bought a house, and we're getting married in October.


how wonderful! Congratulations!

I live in Toronto and I've been dating someone in San Francisco for the past 2.5 years. I think I made about 13 trips last year...as short as 2 days and as long as 3 months. We schedule visits so we are not apart longer than 6 weeks. In fact I'm in SF right now and I'll be here for 2 months. I can afford the trips, and the time (and before the usual suspects chime in...I pay for all my trips!).

As Walts pointed out some people fly more than take a bus, that's me. I travel extensively for work and holiday, perhaps 100 flights a year. Travelling to SF is a breeze compared to Asia. It's all relative.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 17
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/4/2015 6:13:50 PM
What an absolutely beautiful love story, Woobby....now you have me thinking......
 BLoNDeANGeL845
Joined: 6/10/2014
Msg: 18
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/5/2015 6:09:11 AM
The majority of the times, I think their reasons are already listed in this thread. Some people have no roots either younger & childless OR older, done raising kids & flexible as far as employment &/or housing. They are legitimate & honorable.

BUT there could be a more insidious reason...I'll use a real life story to illustrate.

I used to know a woman, let's call her "B". In my mind, I had a secret nick-name for her, "The Internet Dater"- she was very aggressive & determined & used 1 old & heavily photoshopped pic. Was on every site, emailing men, met all types in all kinds of ludicrous situations. She put 30,000 miles on her new car in 6 months, that is how obsessed she was.

One of her fiascos, was not a coast to coast thing, but according to her, she was contacted by a man (who lived in a very heavily populated area) who lived about 200 miles away. He could only see her on only Tuesdays, cuz he had a very special, important job (what was he, CIA?) He schlepped to Upstate on Tuesdays during the day where they had booty call at her house, according to her, while her kids were in school.

I kept my mouth shut to her as to what I thought was going on, as this woman was addicted to the thought of finding a man. I just had the imaginary bucket of popcorn ready & waiting...

After a couple of months of this, she insisted that she go out his way & he take a weekend off. I kept my mouth shut, when you tried to reason w/ this woman she went off on you.

At the 11th hour, he cancelled on her w/ a bogus excuse, she went off on him & he confessed that he was in a "live-in" situation.

When she 1st told me about this man, I guessed as much.

Be suspicious of a person who not only is far away, but won't let you come out to where they are & can only see you on a certain day & time.

PS- I backed off & ended my friendship w/ "The Internet Dater", she ended up w/ a reputation & I didn't even want to be seen in public w/ her, let alone listen to any of her fiascos anymore.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 19
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/5/2015 11:09:01 PM
Blonde, I am very suspicious of men who live hundreds or thousands of miles away and profess that "love conquers all", or that they are willing to "pack up and relocate". How do you do that when you don't even KNOW the person?
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 20
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/6/2015 7:38:24 AM

Blonde, I am very suspicious of men who live hundreds or thousands of miles away and profess that "love conquers all", or that they are willing to "pack up and relocate". How do you do that when you don't even KNOW the person?

I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater either, what if they were looking to retire to your area etc.?

But to me it is fishy when someone HAS to date far from where they live, like they are hiding something...
 soo-girl
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 21
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/6/2015 9:37:15 AM
My husband was 52 when we met on Cupid. He lived in the US and I am in Canada. Our routine, due to International border crossings and time restrictions, was two weeks together/six weeks apart. This worked quite well for us, but we're both solitary people who don't require daily contact. In June of 2014, we got married. In September of 2014, we celebrated three years together. He is now in the process of immigrating to Canada.

I didn't set out to specifically meet someone far away. In fact, when we first started talking online, I didn't even think of him as a potential relationship. We were just chatty friends who happened to become more. Worked out quite nicely and we're very happy.
 LittleLadyMaxine
Joined: 4/11/2014
Msg: 22
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/6/2015 11:53:26 AM
Only 1 in 1,000 LDR's work. Not everyone realizes this of course.

If you compare that to 1-5 people out of 100 you could fall in love with and marry locally, chasing LDR's makes no sense.

I think you can filter incoming mail so you only receive mail from local people. But that does not work if you are here for forums and friends.




-------------Gary and Marie
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/6/2015 3:02:58 PM

Only 1 in 1,000 LDR's work. Not everyone realizes this of course.


What do you mean by work? Does that mean must lead to marriage? So if a couple decide to live common-law, does that go in the Not Working column? And out the ones that "work", how many are of the "Happily ever after. 'Til death does us part." variety, where there is no chance of divorce? I doubt there are any statistics and studies comparing the success rate of long distance versus shopping locally for a partner. They would have to follow couples around for years and decades, until their deaths, to know if it worked.

And what is the definition of Long Distance? For some people who live at opposite ends of the same large city-where it could take an hour or so to get to the opposite side-they would consider that long distance.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 24
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/7/2015 4:16:28 AM

If you compare that to 1-5 people out of 100 you could fall in love with and marry locally, chasing LDR's makes no sense.


Are you saying "love" and everything that it actually involves, "makes sense"??????

I would think I would have to disagree with that one. Not one of my long term relationships "made sense" from those looking in at them.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 25
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LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 1/7/2015 8:47:55 PM
I am very keen on a woman I meet on holidays she lives 11 hour drive away.( we are both in our mid 50's)
I see her a few times a year and we both love being around each other.
who knows what's going to happen in the future?
I might end up there one day?
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