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 XTC1977
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 1
Atheism, dating and relationshipsPage 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I'm curious see what the general opinion of the board is on this topic. I get the feeling that this plays a part in many religious people not wanting to get into relationship with, or even talk to, atheists they otherwise find attractive. I'm not sure that I'd want to be in a relationship with someone that still believed in that superstition, but it does seem to narrow the dating pool and make it much harder to meet people.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 2
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 7:47:20 AM
There will be many differing opinions....


For me personally....it just isn't a problem. Two people can have differing beliefs and opinions as long as there is mutual respect.....it's just that simple.
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 3
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 7:51:08 AM
When you stated that you don't believe in superstition this shows you're disrespect of the religious. To get respect you have to give it, you will not get anywhere with even someone who is mildly religious with your attitude. Best for you to stick with Atheists.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 4
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 7:54:29 AM
"An atheist a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes"
Don't date people who's core values are in conflict with yours
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 5
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 7:59:41 AM
I believe you do a good job communicating your preferences regarding religion.

When viewing profiles, I consider it a plus when they put non religious. A religion (usually Xtian as I'm in the Bible Belt) doesn't become a dealbreaker until I see it in their profile outside the religion setting. Often the Bible thumpers show themselves in search results (screen name, headline, first 200 characters of about me) so I don't even need to view their profile. The interests search tab lists all/many interests, not just the matching ones, so I can avoid the dealbreaker interests "God", "Bible", "Jesus", etc.

If a Christian messages me first (rare), and has anything religious in their profile, I probably wouldn't consider them unless their mention of "God" is solely as a way of expressing gratitude or grace, or as an expression ("God only knows...")

The other site I'm on (OKC) makes it easier to determine compatibility about religion. Many of the questions are about religion. It's not unusual to see profiles answering they believe in creationism, that it should be taught in schools, and other common Bible Belt beliefs. A few minutes after I created my account there, a seemingly great match viewed me. Saved myself the trouble of messaging her by reading her questions. Her explanation for one of the religion questions said, "I don't want an atheist".

One question on that site is "Are you Christian?" I answer no, but have an explanation that I lead a mostly Christ-like life without going against many of their teachings. Then I say I do not believe the claim that people who accept Christ as their savior are forgiven of all past, present and future sins and are guaranteed a heavenly afterlife.

One of my saved advanced searches on POF is on non-religious. Good to do my other searches on Sunday mornings, though it's obviously not foolproof, as some people go to church on different days/times, some might be surfing the site on their phone in church while waiting for services to begin, and the phone app might show some as online when they're not.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 6
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:03:17 AM

"An atheist a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes"


Good one Ouija - isn't that the truth! It's not so much the belief a person has within them so much as their attempts to shove it down everyone else's throat. I could be with a person who has a religious belief, but not if every second thought out of their mouth was tied to their religion or if they were attempting to convert me. Likewise, I'm sure the same could be said if the opposite held true.
 XTC1977
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 7
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:08:46 AM

When you stated that you don't believe in superstition this shows you're disrespect of the religious. To get respect you have to give it, you will not get anywhere with even someone who is mildly religious with your attitude. Best for you to stick with Atheists.


It's true that I have no respect for the teachings and written philosophies of religion, but I never disrespect the person. Anyone with a basic understanding of history and science knows that many of the most brilliant scientist, writers, etc, were theists. That said, yes, my dislike of organized religion causes me to not mince words most of the time, but with the easy availability of secular knowledge that the internet provides, the excuse for having blind faith grows more ridiculous by the day. Faith is not a virtue. Wanting to know what's true, at all costs, IS.
 XTC1977
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 8
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:17:30 AM
I'm going to hold off on the debating and try not to turn this into, well, a debate.

You make some good points, Ainen. I guess in the end, if you're an atheist (I hate that term. I prefer secularist.) you're simply going to have to put in more work. I live in the Bible Belt too, so it's maddening -- particularly the hypocrisy of overly sexualized Christians. WTF? I'm all in for being sexy and bringing it, but what's the deal here? Is the basic plan to sex it up, and right before death, ask for forgiveness?
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 9
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:23:12 AM
When you stated that you don't believe in superstition this shows you're disrespect of the religious.


Religion is superstition. It's that simple.

Okay, I admit it. I cannot respect religious beliefs. I'm under no obligation to respect the beliefs of any one person or organization that I find ridiculous and repugnant. I wrestled with this "we have to respect the beliefs of others" for a long time. No, we don't. I don't respect astrology, healing crystals, racists, thieves, liars, palm readers. Why would I be under any obligation to respect beliefs in religion aka "the supernatural"?
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 10
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:38:20 AM



For me personally....it just isn't a problem. Two people can have differing beliefs and opinions as long as there is mutual respect.....it's just that simple.

This





"An atheist a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes"

LOL



Okay, I admit it. I cannot respect religious beliefs. I'm under no obligation to respect the beliefs of any one person or organization that I find ridiculous and repugnant. I wrestled with this "we have to respect the beliefs of others" for a long time. No, we don't.

True




I don't respect astrology, healing crystals, racists, thieves, liars, palm readers.

Interesting grouping if extreme




Why would I be under any obligation to respect beliefs in religion aka "the supernatural"?

You are not but I would call it tolerance
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 11
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History
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:38:37 AM
"An atheist a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes"


And if they were from New York everyone would know within 30 seconds.


 I could be with a person who has a religious belief, but not if every second thought out of their mouth was tied to their religion or if they were attempting to convert me. Likewise, I'm sure the same could be said if the opposite held true.


There are also many who are part of a particular denomination, but are not practicing it. My ex-wife was a Jehovah's Witness who was disfellowshipped. Despite that, I got along fine with her parents and they embraced me despite my non religious beliefs.




Edit for below: If I wasn't one of the 37...what a biatch! If I was one of the 37...what a slut!
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 12
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:39:30 AM
Again you disrespect of faith is showing isn't surprising. Maybe go to the thread about number of sexual partners thread one guy knows about some chick that has given 37 men blow jobs. She may be your dream type because she has low expectations of herself and men.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 13
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:43:42 AM
You are not but I would call it tolerance


Remember when we tolerated racism? Tobacco smoking? Gay bashing?

Nah. Tolerance perpetuates. Tolerance isn't one of my strong suits when it comes to something that should be taken as seriously as religious beliefs, particularly in today's world. I see religious beliefs as nothing but a detriment to the human race.
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 14
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Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:46:59 AM

I get the feeling that this plays a part in many religious people not wanting to get into relationship with, or even talk to, atheists


Hang on to that feeling, especially if you're foolish enough to call religion as superstition.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 15
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Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:55:34 AM



"An atheist a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes"



And if they were from New York everyone would know within 30 seconds.


Even better! Thanks for laugh today, folks!

OP: You are free to judge others as you see fit. Many highly intelligent, lovable, and caring people have faith, however, and judging these people as superstitious fools (which is what your attitude suggests) serves only to highlight your intolerance. In other words, it reflects poorly on you even with many people--like me--who may share your basic position. You might be better served to consider why the faith of others bothers you so much, rather than expending energy propagating your point of view to whoever will listen.

I find that it is not faith that concerns me, so much as the politicization of faith that leads to intolerance as a matter of policy.
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 16
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:56:04 AM
Go with what you like, brah. Pandering will only lead to trouble.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 8:58:02 AM

I live in the Bible Belt too, so it's maddening -- particularly the hypocrisy of overly sexualized Christians. WTF? I'm all in for being sexy and bringing it, but what's the deal here? Is the basic plan to sex it up, and right before death, ask for forgiveness?


This is a suggestive example, that your intense disrespect for "the teachings and written philosophies of religion" is every bit as blind as the faith that you despise. You appear to be as many anti-theists I've known, who get understandably angry at the believers who demand that the government and everyone around us all shove their beliefs into every orifice we possess, and without even realizing it, become religiously opposed to religion.

To whit, "refusing to sex it up" isn't inherent to belief in a god. The fact that you are so sure it does, is a demonstration of how narrow your understanding of religions is, and how little of their teachings and written philosophies you have ever actually listened to or read.

Note, I'm not a theist either, I'm just a guy who uses non-discriminatory logic, and as unbiased facts as I can find, to decide what to do about what's going on in the world.

By the way, I wonder about one thing in your motivation for this thread, OP.

I've seen a ton of similar-reading gripe, rant, or frustration-expression threads, and almost every time, I think I detect an unspoken worry on the thread-starters part , that they are missing out on some good people because they ARE so sure that "everyone like this is nuts."

Any chance that you subconsciously hope that by complaining, that either universe will tilt back into balance in your romantic favor, or that people who annoy you will change their ways? If not, why pitch a fuss at all?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 18
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 9:07:24 AM
nice 55 or 56 (can't see the trunk), dragracer. Used to have a 57 with no porthole either, but a 3spd OD.

I liked the joke too, its true. But I'm not sure why a devote athiest wants a hot Catholic for, except to get laid and that ain't happ'n without a ring. :)

If you can't have what you desire, you may not have been meant to be.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 19
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 9:25:10 AM


nice 55 or 56 (can't see the trunk), dragracer. Used to have a 57 with no porthole either, but a 3spd OD.

Car show pic, not my car though I would love to have one in that exact shade of red, my T-Bird is an 89 well the few parts I kept. LOL

Do I have anything to add on topic?? I agree with Curious to the extent that religious extremists have always used religion to justify their intolerance to others. There is no religion that is not guilty of this at one point in history or another.

While I am an agnostic for lack of a better word I am tolerant of people who have faith and believe in the teachings of their religion of choice. I do have issue with the "preachers" or the "extremists" I simply would not date either or more likely they would not date me for my lack of belief.
 XTC1977
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 20
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 9:44:40 AM
Ah, yes. Not only do we atheists, apparently, instantly announce our atheism to all assembled when we enter a bar, we're also all militant and angry whenever we bring up the topic! Richard Dawkins...I feel you brother.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 21
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 9:49:08 AM
Religion is the least of my problems as an Agnostic with an already very limited dating pool. The person I meet must be intellectual, as well as diversely cultured, not a racist, homophobic, sexist, nor classicist and he should have pro-choice values. The only issue with dating somebody who worships regularly is that their people wouldn't accept me, necessarily. Some people would like to share their beliefs with other believers, perhaps.

Extreme anything should be avoided.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 22
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History
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 9:51:59 AM
ALL the religious people I know believe god created man. I believe man created gods. All of the "gods" throughout human history.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 10:02:47 AM

Two people can have differing beliefs and opinions as long as there is mutual respect.....it's just that simple.


I don't know if it could be that simple. I guess it partly depends on how strong the beliefs are. If one person believes in religion and feel they're going to Heaven if they play by a church's rules, and their partner feels it's a crock of B.S., I don't see how it could not create some tension. Wouldn't the person who is religious want their partner to go to Heaven as well when the time comes, so that they can be together for eternity in Heaven, or otherwise face eternal damnation in Hell for being a non-believer? Whereas the other person believes that once any living organism dies, which includes people, we become fertilizer and worm food, or a food source for carnivores. I don't understand why any religion feels that God is justified in punishing people because of their personal beliefs, but that's another topic. And if a younger couple decide to have kids, the topic of religious teaching will most certainly be a big issue.

It could be a hot topic issue that eats people at the core, just like some other issues. For example-abortion. Could a couple where one is pro-choice and the other is pro-life respect each others view and not cause any tension in the relationship? And for a lot of Americans, the political party they support is a hot button topic. You either support the same political party or you're out the door.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 24
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 10:15:20 AM
It has been my experience that once atheism is brought to light with "believers", "believers" become defensive and often even hostile and baiting. I had a situation last year where a *former* friend invited me to join a local organization, one that does good work and one in which I'd have bee well-suited to help. When I read the application form, it was required that every member profess "belief in the Almighty God". I spoke with people who were officers of this organization, including my friend, and was told, "Just sign it. No one ever reads the fine print." I've never found "believers" to be particularly mindful of ethics.

I didn't sign it. Later, those friendships ended. We gotta be true to ourselves.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
Atheism, dating and relationships
Posted: 1/4/2015 10:17:23 AM

I get the feeling that this plays a part in many religious people not wanting to get into relationship with, or even talk to, atheists they otherwise find attractive. I'm not sure that I'd want to be in a relationship with someone that still believed in that superstition, but it does seem to narrow the dating pool and make it much harder to meet people



You ask for opinion, suggesting you are curious, yet, you follow with this ^^^^^^^?????

So what is it? Curious, or are you looking for a fight? If it's a fight, you should always make sure you arm yourself beforehand, which, by the looks of things, you haven't. Do you wanna try again, and maybe word your question a little better?
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