Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > never gotten head      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 1
never gotten head Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
over 30s LADIES: how would you respond if you met a 30 yo man who had never gotten sucked? He's not a virgin..only had sex with one girl and that was 5+ years ago.

Would this be weird? Not a big deal?
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
never gotten head
Posted: 1/7/2015 9:36:35 PM
I was a virgin at 34. When, at age 35, I met the woman who would become my wife, I had never received oral sex. Didn't stop us from having a fantastic relationship. Weird? I dunno, but I don't see why it should be some red flag.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 3
never gotten head
Posted: 1/7/2015 10:10:41 PM
This question isn't appropriate for this forum. You should post this in the sex and relationships part.

Reported.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 4
never gotten head
Posted: 1/7/2015 10:16:55 PM
lol blue boy didn't get any so he cant have on the forum lol
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 5
never gotten head
Posted: 1/7/2015 11:02:45 PM
I am responding by hitting the delete button.
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 6
never gotten head
Posted: 1/7/2015 11:37:40 PM
La tool guy just got reported. Funny how immature 50 year olds can be.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 7
never gotten head
Posted: 1/8/2015 9:35:00 AM
Would this be weird? Not a big deal?


Seems odd to me, but im going by what I think society sort of demands at a certain point in order to earn some type of manhood achievement? Or maybe I was just afraid that the world was attacking my penis? When I came up with that theory, because I was looking up complexes for shits the other day and...

Complex of Castration
The tendency to accept the threats of the exterior world as those aimed at the penis;
The complex becomes more evident when there is an imminent threat and it is less demonstrated when the situation presents no menace to the masculine power.

So if I didn't get laid a certain amount of times by the time im my age, that I would have my penis attacked by the world. So that's why I think its weird.

Well as long as his masculinity isn't affected by it. I think every guy has that socio-sexual quota to make that would be the basis or general theory of the complex. Maybe a bit of an obsession of it, probably over thought this one. But that's my odd take on it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:20:57 AM

Would this be weird?



I find it "weird" that you actually have taken this information from this 30 year old seriously.


I gotta try that line.

It's a gooder.


Question is, is the man "experienced" now?????

:o
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 9
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:26:43 AM
He's either a liar

been in a coma since the age of 16

or?


Question is, is the man "experienced" now?????

:o


My guess is no, unless he's a liar.


but why do people lie about such weird shit?
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 10
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:31:15 AM

I am responding by hitting the delete button.

Dammit, the delete button is gone. I was so hoping we'd have fewer of these threads posted to appeal to the lowest common denominator here, but no such luck, I guess.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 11
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 1:00:04 PM
^^^^^ Agreed.

Who the bloody hell would say something like that and who the bloody hell would care.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 12
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:48:51 PM
How would you respond if you met a 30 yo man who had never gotten sucked? He's not a virgin..only had sex with one girl and that was 5+ years ago.

So he had sex with one girl when he was 25 (lost his virginity then). He never got past 2nd base with any gal before that, nor after that -- being 30 now. Yeah, that is weird. If he's Really attractive, and seems Not like the type who never would have given his personality -- all while not being super-religious -- I would question his sexuality.

Usually in those cases there are some dots to connect as to Why. But even no oral sex, even though he expresses that he Would like it? I dunno. Very odd if he's not a hermit and has some looks about him. I had a GF in college -- and she's still a virgin to this day (@35+). But she'd masturbate quite frequently, beating her clitoris like a red-headed step-child -- and once we were an item, we hit 3rd base all the time as part of routine.

Assuming he's at least average-looking and isn't an incredible introvert: If he's close to being a virgin AND never had oral sex -- there's something up about either his sexuality or how he sees/feels about sexual relations. You can't at all assume otherwise.
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 13
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:59:16 PM
Wow, so much hate from this inquiry.

& Walts, this person is a friend of mine. Someone I've known for 2+ years so that's why I would take it "seriously". I only found this out a few days ago and thought it was odd to say to least. Given his inactive track record with women, overbearing mother and extremely introverted/socially awkward nature, it shouldn't be TOO big of a surprise but still threw me for a loop.

Carry on, miserellas.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 14
never gotten head
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:03:53 PM

this person is a friend of mine. Someone I've known for 2+ years so that's why I would take it "seriously". I only found this out a few days ago and thought it was odd to say to least.

Is he attractive? How would you rate him on a scale of 1-10? And how much of a social person is he, on a scale of 1-10? Does he have any attributes about him that connect the dots at least somewhat to make sense? (strongly religious would be one; sexually abused would be another)

Those are key factors when thinking about weird/odd it is VS closer to the understandable level.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 15
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 10:13:32 AM

& Walts, this person is a friend of mine. Someone I've known for 2+ years so that's why I would take it "seriously".



My question revolves around how this "subject matter" evolved????? How did two friends, of opposite genders, get into who has gotten a blow job or whatever? I still believe the young man was fishing for possibilities. You, OP, where the possibility.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 16
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 11:59:40 AM

My question revolves around how this "subject matter" evolved????? How did two friends, of opposite genders, get into who has gotten a blow job or whatever?

To be fair, it's not such an odd conversation thing amongst friends -- given 2+ years. How/why? Probably because he seems apprehensive about engaging with women! So of course, at some point they're going to ask! And low and behold, he has hardly gone up to bat in his life -- and instead, has been the ball boy!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 17
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 4:37:08 PM
Unusual. Yes. But not a bad thing. Perhaps his previous sex partner(s) / girlfriend(s) did not like giving oral sex for some reason.
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 18
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 7:33:36 PM
I would think it odd and a total turn-off. For it would indicate to me that he is more than likely is asexual.


Yes, that's what I think too. Oh well. We're just friends for a reason.

& Walts, we've talked about everything under the sun. It's hard to understand why you 'd think this was such an odd conversation for friends of 2+ years. It wasn't like this is a guy I hardly know. It actually started with, "Do you think you could be in a long-term relationship with a woman who refused to give head?" I then told him about a former co-worker who claimed that in her 4-year relationship, she could count on one hand how many times she performed fellatio on her bf (although he regularly went down on her) and wanted to know what my friend thought about that.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 19
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 9:16:30 PM

2+ years so that's why I would take it "seriously". I only found this out a few days ago and thought it was odd to say to least. Given his inactive track record with women, overbearing mother and extremely introverted/socially awkward nature, it shouldn't be TOO big of a surprise


Yeah, well strange things happen I guess. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Im just surprised myself. Didn't mean to come off abrasive
 blueguy99881
Joined: 11/23/2014
Msg: 20
never gotten head
Posted: 1/10/2015 11:45:37 PM
This thread has to get deleted.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 21
never gotten head
Posted: 1/11/2015 1:38:34 AM

Unusual. Yes. But not a bad thing.

Uhh -- I disagree. Yeah, it's a bad thing. A BAD thing. If you're 30 and have only skipped bases to hit home plate only once -- and not enjoyed the concept with a GF of "rounding bases" -- that's Not a good combination.

Perhaps his previous sex partner(s) / girlfriend(s) did not like giving oral sex for some reason.

Well, if he was small as a snail underneath a rock, at least one would try to "breathe life into him", right? ;) Certainly it would not be because he got-around. Let's not grab for straws here -- let's be real. Sexual relations -- by itself, is not bad/dirty/weird. It's actually bad/weird when not had, Without Explanation, over too long a time. That's not a mere opinion or POV -- that's just pointing out normalcy. If one disagrees, then fine -- an old man walking down a strip mall in a speedo is "just opinion" ;)

It actually started with, "Do you think you could be in a long-term relationship with a woman who refused to give head?"

Well, there's a difference between a sex life without oral/foreplay (which certainly can be a concern; especially if one is not happy, hence, bringing it up) -- and being totally denied things outside home-plate -- which he was (aside from her).

I then told him about a former co-worker who claimed that in her 4-year relationship, she could count on one hand how many times she performed fellatio on her bf (although he regularly went down on her) and wanted to know what my friend thought about that.

Wow. She obviously was a very giving person, right? LOL. It'd be real real sad if you had a "you go girl!" response (not saying you did). But that's a perfect example of not only what gals bark about guys being like -- but also what's not good for Anyone in a relationship, when one Dictates what happens & what does not. Sad, sad situation.

In fact, one should feel sorry for Her, as well.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 22
never gotten head
Posted: 1/11/2015 5:55:10 AM

by itself, is not bad/dirty/weird. It's actually bad/weird when not had, Without Explanation, over too long a time.

yes that is true because
4-year relationship, she could count on one hand how many times she performed fellatio on her bf (although he regularly went down on her) and wanted to know what my friend thought about that.

those type of conditions are weird. I would wager that they would otherwise have to be related to some type of sexual dysfunction. Either in the wiring like others said - as asexual; or some type of trauma that led to a fear of engaging in sexual acts.

They indicate dysfunction, and could be indicative of distress. But its not that bad, still though, if it was trauma and not strictly genetic - whatever caused that dysfunction would also affect the personality and character of said person.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 23
never gotten head
Posted: 1/11/2015 7:23:15 AM

Would this be weird? Not a big deal?


People on POF are generally naive. Then can't seem to imagine anyone that is different from themselves. But I have known 40 year old virgins and guys that have slept with over 1000 women. In that range, what is truly weird?

Only having sex with one woman when he was 25 makes it likely he didn't ever get head. A lot of women don't really like giving head.


The thing about getting head is that for many years I thought that it was a bad thing. Guys pushing women to do that on guys. Then I learned that women love it. That it was not so much them pleasing me, but they pleasing themselves.


Some women love it, but maybe only 15%. Most (>50%) do it to turn on a guy, to please him or because it's expected. If a guy wasn't interested, they wouldn't feel deprived sexually.


I then told him about a former co-worker who claimed that in her 4-year relationship, she could count on one hand how many times she performed fellatio on her bf (although he regularly went down on her) and wanted to know what my friend thought about that.


My ex-wife was in the camp that wasn't interested in oral sex either way, and , though she did it because I insisted, it wasn't natural for her. And she wasn't that into sex at all.

Most people count any sort of oral contact with the penis as fellatio, while I tend to think of it as foreplay unless I orgasm. I know it's not correct, but I don't feel like a few licks on the popsicle really does much for me.


It wasn't like this is a guy I hardly know. It actually started with, "Do you think you could be in a long-term relationship with a woman who refused to give head?"


I had gotten head maybe 400 times by the age 30, so for me I expected every woman loved it. Little did I know that a lot of woman didn't love it, and many thought it was some sort of "special gift". So after a long dry spell in my late 30s, I would never get into a long-term relationship with a woman who refused to give head, I wouldn't get into a LTR with a woman that wasn't enthusiastic about pleasing me sexually. I expect total reciprocity.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 24
view profile
History
never gotten head
Posted: 1/11/2015 8:26:48 AM

DragonBytes
People on POF are generally naïve.


“Naïve”, what a very nice word for it! (smile)




Then can't seem to imagine anyone that is different from themselves.

Not just here on the POF forums, but everywhere. This is one of the greatest problems with all of mankind. They think whatever their experiences are, that is the norm. Whatever they do is what everyone else should do. And mankind, as a general rule, is very unforgiving of anyone who doesn’t adhere to their idea of the “norm”. For an example of this, go read about the Salem witch trials.




But I have known 40 year old virgins and guys that have slept with over 1000 women. In that range, what is truly weird?

I have a friend, a gentleman who I used to work with, who is closing in on 60 and (probably) still a virgin. He has a very low sex drive, and is shy and awkward. To him, it was just never worth the trouble. I personally cannot imagine it ever being “not worth the trouble”. Maybe when they shovel dirt in my face, but not before.



I had gotten head maybe 400 times by the age 30, so for me I expected every woman loved it.

I misread (or misunderstood) the above sentence the first time I read it. I thought you were saying 400 different women, and I was about to tip my hat to you!





Little did I know that a lot of woman didn't love it, and many thought it was some sort of "special gift".

That is a very common perception. Whenever I encounter this “special gift” thing, I remember a particular episode of the Sopranos, Tony’s birthday to be specific and his wife’s birthday gift to him.




So after a long dry spell in my late 30s, I would never get into a long-term relationship with a woman who refused to give head, I wouldn't get into a LTR with a woman that wasn't enthusiastic about pleasing me sexually. I expect total reciprocity.

Reminds me of something abelian said, long ago and far away. The discussion in that case was about “swallowing”. His comment was along the lines of, “In this world, many women will, and many won’t. As long there are many women who will, why should I settle for less?”
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 25
never gotten head
Posted: 1/11/2015 1:32:04 PM
I laugh at the irony:


People on POF are generally naïve.

“Naïve”, what a very nice word for it! (smile)



I had gotten head maybe 400 times by the age 30, so for me I expected every woman loved it.

I misread (or misunderstood) the above sentence the first time I read it. I thought you were saying 400 different women, and I was about to tip my hat to you!


Naïve, I would say so.

Seems men will believe ANYthing any other man claims about sex, no matter how outrageous and/or stupid. :/
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > never gotten head