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 forumgirl519
Joined: 9/27/2014
Msg: 1
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views on dogs living indoorsPage 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
This is a sequel to a post I did months ago... and update and hopefully some thoughts from the ever so helpful pof forumers..

Dating someone for nearly 6 months now and talking about taking the next step - moving in together. Both partners have dogs. He views dogs as outdoor animals ,only and his dog lives partly outdoors and partly crated, in a heated shed.
She has her dog indoors.

The issue months ago, was him refusing to allow her dog into his home, because he felt it was "dirty" and made him feel uncomfortable, etc. Knowing it was an issue for his girlfriend, he agreed to try it her way. He allowed her dog into certain areas of his home and the dog was crated at night. He soon realized that this is wasn't going to work for him at all! He recently decided that her dog will NOT be allowed into his home, under any circumstance. It is to remain with his dog, outdoors and in a crate in the shed at night.
He find it "gross"
Thinks people who have pets indoors are "dirty"
it makes him feel "uncomfortable" and "disrespected" in "his" home.
He thinks she needs to "treat the dog like a dog" and put it outside for good.

He still wants her to move into his home.

She is struggling with this decision, and knows this isn't going to make her happy or comfortable...not to mention it never feeling like her place (given she moved in).

Is this a fundamental difference between two people, that makes them incompatible?
Is she selfish/foolish for considering leaving the relationship?
Neither person is willing to "give in" ....is this relationship at dead end?
 TALL_IQ2
Joined: 12/22/2014
Msg: 2
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:42:16 PM
Is this a fundamental difference between two people, that makes them incompatible?
Is she selfish/foolish for considering leaving the relationship?
Neither person is willing to "give in" ....is this relationship at dead end?


Never come between a man's best friend and the man, they both may bite you...

Six months into your relationship, you should know enough about the man and his dog ( watch that movie) to make up YOUR mind if his conditions in HIS house are acceptable to you. You must understand that long ago he decided to keep his dog outside.

You are striving to force him to change his basic thinking on HIS dog's living conditions also.
Most people don't change once they made up their mind about something, it is a basic human nature tenet, that we need to feel some sort of control over some of our lives in this uncertain world.

When you push him on that issue, he starts feeling a loss of some control of HIS environment. At some point he may decide he wants ALL of his control of his space back...

Remember that you run that risk when you are challenging him on an issue he holds dear.

Good luck.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 3
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:49:47 PM
A dog is part of a family for me. I would dump a girl before I would dump a good dog.
Dogs are one of the few animals who can understand and react to a human face expression and tone of voice. The funny thing is that most people can understand a dogs expression as well.
just figure out who makes you happier your dog or your BF... For all we know he might be your future ex BF. Dogs are till the death.
If you didn't notice yet I do love dogs and think they are great. Better then most people I know and many times I would rather have a good dog company then some of the nut cases out there.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 4
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 2:59:08 PM

Thinks people who have pets indoors are "dirty"


Then he's considered his girlfriend dirty from the getgo because he's known all along that she's had her dog live indoors with her. If it was such an issue, knowing this from the beginning, the onus would have been on him to not continue the relationship in the first place - not to get into one and then attempt to be a control freak.

Poor dogs...
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 5
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:02:09 PM
Solution: Build an attached addition for the dogs -like a dog living room -and keep them there.
You can hang out and watch "Too Cute" with them when the guy is watching the game.

Some dogs are rather messy.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 6
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:06:07 PM
Hopefully she hasn't given up her place. If she has grown accustomed to having her dog inside and doesn't want the dog outside and then in a crate at night then by gosh she should stick to her guns. It's not like he did'nt know this upfront right? He apparently tried at least and it's not working so what's either one to do? He resents her and the dog if he gives in, she resents him as it now looks like it's his place and not theirs.
Might be more issues than this once the cohabitation gets settled in I would bet.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 7
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:11:29 PM
I would never chose a Man over my dog - dirty??? Says a lot of what he thinks of his GF.
Hope she does the right thing by her furbaby
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 8
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:11:48 PM
It will NEVER work.

If he cannot accept her relationship w/ her animals, what else?

She'll feel resentment & pain, as will the dog(s)

They are little fur children.

Would you let a new man treat your kids/grandchildren this way?

PS- Ouija, after seeing pix of ur dog, I'd say she is a human fooling a lot of people ;0)
My cats are little people too, I couldn't live the way the Op describes. I'd choose the animals over the man & I could not love a man who didn't love my animals the way I love them too.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:21:26 PM
^^^ Thanks. I think it is emotional blackmail to say " me or the pet" Not like she just sprung it on him.
But I have known a few who gave up their family for "love" didn't work
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 10
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:25:40 PM
Yes Ouija & the pet was there 1st, u r right she didn't just spring it on him...
they r so helpless in a way just like little children

what would people do if someone said, ur kids have to sleep outside? Kids r messy too!
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 11
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:32:23 PM
Dogs are supposed to live with their owners inside that is why they are considered companion animals. This guy is a total and complete azzhole and why do you associate with loser? The need to be controlled?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 12
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:32:47 PM

This is a sequel to a post I did months ago...


And she is STILL dating the guy and still tolerating his attitude.

And all of the advice is going to be the same as last time.


He thinks she needs to "treat the dog like a dog" and put it outside for good.


She does need to put it outside for good. (the 2 legged dog, that is)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 13
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:41:27 PM
Dude you can't ask that of people. You can’t ask people to make a decision that is fundamental to you for their own take on the matter.

And whatever fundamental ideology you have – that’s your subjective view on the matter - and yours alone.

There is nothing moral or otherwise to object to. You could argue who's right and whos wrong, but that's an opinion. And if memory serves most thought he was a douche for not wanting pet hair in his house.

You know what works? Whatever worked the first time you asked this question, till now. You know if it aint broke?

:Edit (I think the bandwagon for calling a guy a douchebag for not wanting pet hair in his house = manhaters)

And I'm the side for the non-biased argument. Because I own a cat, his name is Bosco and sometimes he sleeps on my head. And because hes my buddy I put up with the cat hair.

Should I expect that if I were to meet a girl that she just put up with the cat hair? Yes if she moves in.

Otherwise you will save yourself sanity by having 2 places to go. Living under the same roof with no out location when things get hard, that's when people panic. That's when things go wrong anyway, living together.

So just do the right thing, don't ask, don't tell, just say thank the man jesus we can afford 2 places and keep our sanity and the relationship too.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 14
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:56:08 PM
It's his home, and so he calls the shots, regardless of the crass insensitivity towards her and her dogs.

That said, she should really reconsider moving in with him, given his attitude about animals and his ground rules, but also to remember her commitment to her dogs,
If it were me, I would stick with my commitment to the dogs and keep them in a life to which they were accustomed.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 15
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 3:59:05 PM
You know last week I ordered online a Sh*rk handheld w/ a beater brush cuz my baby FireBall likes to sleep on the top/back of the recliner chair.

Plus I have a re-chargeable Sh*rk carper sweeper for the cat hairs, plus a Dys*n full vacuum.

Big deal-- a few hairs, easily sucked up.

Lord knows what we walk on outside & bring in the house on the soles of our shoes. Plus we touch things outside too, even the careful germaphobe people bring in germs, etc,

There has been many a scientific study showing the health & emotional benefits of pets in the household.

I'd rather get my Sh*rks on sale for $29 & $55 respectively & eat canned beans all month than give up any one of my babies w/ fur.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 16
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:01:38 PM
His house, his rules. It will never be your home. It you give in and agree to this, it will never end. If he doesnt like your friends, they wont be allowed in his house. If he doesnt like your family, they wont be allowed in his house. Same goes for your belongings, furniture, etc.. I would never agree to move in with someone like this. You two are not compatible at all. Besides that, you already know you arent going to be happy moving in under these conditions.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:02:29 PM
There wouldn't have been any question for me in the first place, while I'm not a dog person, I would never expect someone to put a dog outside because of my thoughts on dogs being dogs. WTH does that mean anyway? I would have never moved in with a person who treated my pet that way, never in a million years. Being with someone who causes you misery and harms your pet (or kid) is not someone I even want to be friends with, much less live with. Never be so desperate to have someone in your bed, that you would harm the things you love.

=manhater, oh brother, here we go again. It equals two people who are not at all a match.
 OneKewlDood
Joined: 5/21/2014
Msg: 18
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:03:23 PM
I only had to read this part of the way to give an answer.

Dogs are family. Any man who would make his dog live outside is a schmuck. Deal-breaker right there, I'd dump him.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 19
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:03:42 PM
I have yet to meet a person who can give the unconditional love a dog can...I'd say see ya buddy, enjoy your relationship with your hand then instead
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 20
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views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:14:54 PM
I'm a critter person. In my book, should I meet a lady that isn't, it's a deal breaker.

I've dealt with people in my work, that aren't animal lovers. Many times, I can count on them being possibly vindictive, excessively fussy, and difficult to work with. Not all, but some. Actually, I use that as a barometer in judging folks. If they really care about their animal's well being, they will be more open to the people around them.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 21
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 4:17:22 PM
Yeah scrap the relationship, somebody who didn't grow up with animals in the house. He certainly isn't human, how could any human person not want to live with animals in the house?


I have yet to meet a person who can give the unconditional love a dog can


dogs evolved that way, you feed it, shelter it, and the animal will rely on you and treat you accordingly - especially if it is a social animal with pack hierarchy. The meaning is as powerful as you want to make it.

The guy has animals he keeps outside, he can't be that bad of a guy with animals. He just doesn't want them in the house. Why confuse morality with the issue?
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 22
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views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:05:28 PM
There is nothing wrong with him keeping his dogs outside since some dog breeds are actually happier being outside than inside. Far more room to run and play and they can do whatever they want when they want. As long as they got food and water, and a decent cozy place to sleep, then they are content. Smaller breeds need to be inside usually because of allergies and weather can reek havok on them.

Neither owner is wrong. The humans are incompatible, not the dogs.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:47:24 PM
Right - like dogs wanna be away from their pack outdoors. Said no furbaby ever
I have had 100 plus pound dogs, they still wanted to be with us.
They are social creatures.. keep a child outside and away from most human contact.. but heck feed it and give it a cozy place
sigh
 Deedeelogan
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 24
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:50:38 PM
You're getting the same advice you got the last time. And you're still with this control freak? How come you're not looking for a man who is on the same page as you when it comes to dog keeping?
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 25
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views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/9/2015 5:51:05 PM
Not sure why this man is being vilified, his ideas about pets are different than hers, simple.
You two are not compatible. This is a deal breaker.
I would never let a pet live outside so I choose not to have one as I know that the hair/vomit/accidents are something I do not want to deal with.
I have a neighbour with a beautiful dog who lives outside, stays inside a shed in the winter. He is loved and exercised daily, well trained.
You both have opposite ideas about how pets should be treated and neither is willing to budge. I can see nothing but ongoing problems if you decide to move in with him.
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