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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!      Home login  
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 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 2
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HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Date someone else. If you can fall in love with this woman, you can fall in love with another person. I think it's pretty clear that she doesn't want kids.
 nosima
Joined: 1/8/2015
Msg: 3
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HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 2:11:24 PM
If you had asked me at age 29 I would have said I had no interest and would never have kids. Had my first at 36 and my second at 40. That is no guarantee how your woman will feel of course. You guys have only just got back together. Your clock is not on a timer. How about giving her a bit of space. Stop the baby talk and just enjoy each other for a while.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 4
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 2:54:04 PM
STOP pressuring her. Not every woman wants kids. If having kids is that important to you, you need to break up with this woman. Instead date women who want kids.

I was convinced that I never wanted kids until age 33. Then my biological clock began ticking. For three years we debated having kids. Our daughter was born when I was 36 and her father was 40.

My joke is that during the 10 minutes we agreed, we conceived.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 5
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:01:47 PM
If a guy was pressuring me about having kids, back then or now, I'd be out. WTF?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 6
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:03:22 PM
In theory, it's possible that a woman later may change her mind. But that is far from a guarantee. The easiest thing to do is date another woman that wants kids. Plain and simple.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 7
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:05:08 PM
There's a chick here somewhere who started a thread looking for a baby daddy just recently,(platonic relationship just to have a child) perhaps you could work something out and mail her your sperm.

caution: Make sure it's in a super strong envelope, so that the mail lady doesn't get pregnant by accident
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 8
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:14:46 PM
well you have your answer to your question
She doesn't want kids. You do.
Two weeks back and you are pressuring her - plus Buddy talk is freakin cheap
Go find someone who wants to bear your spawn then
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 9
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:24:03 PM
Why do you think your desire to have kids trumps her non-desire? If she started badgering you to get a vasectomy, so that you two could never have kids, would you jump at the opportunity to keep her in your life? If not, why should she give in to your demand? I guess since you joined a t dating site, you probably already made up your mind.
 TerrieLynnC70
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 10
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HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:36:54 PM
This REAKS of selfishness.................She doesn't want kids at this time and you shouldn't be badgering her into it if she doesn't want to. And yes, get with the woman who is wanting a kid that started the thread PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP JUST TO HAVE A CHILD.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 11
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 3:53:30 PM
I get that you have strong feelings for this woman but she doesn't want to be a mother right now or possibly ever. That you smoke may be a real dealbreaker for her as well????.

You need to move on and find a woman who wants a family if it means so much to you. I have never wanted kids and that was my choice. A guy I was seeing tried to force me to have unprotected sex so I would marry him, the relationship went downhill after that I can assure you.

however good luck on the site and I would use only pics that show you clearly and full length and in colour preferably. Pics are so important along with the stats and if they dont gather interest, the profile itself doesnt even get read.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 12
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 4:22:57 PM
I am also wondering why YOUR choice wins over hers.

At least you are saying now that you will be there for her later; that she won’t be alone, but the reality is, motherhood IS done alone. All alone.

You will not be carrying a baby, your hormones will not be buzzing out of control every minute of every day and every night, while she complains to her buddies about your mood swings. And laughing. Your body will not be incubating a new human being for nine long uncomfortable horrificly scary months, to culminate in a doctor with huge hands ramming them up your hooch, agonizingly painful and terrifying lengthy labor, and eventual expulsion of said new human which is only the BEGINNING of ITS life! And that’s IF it’s a healthy pregnancy, no miscarriage, no stillbirth, and there are no other complications such as pre-eclampsia, infections, etc.

Realistically, that’s the first chance YOU would have to do anything for a baby; after a woman does all the heavy stuff. Running to the store at 2 am for pickles and ice cream doesn’t count. :/ Even then, you won’t be nursing it, you won’t be recovering from an episiotomy or an epidural or a cesarean section surgery for weeks, only to have to endure your SO, friends, family and every other judgmental buttinski on the planet expecting you to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight and disposition as soon as possible! Let’s not forget post-partum depression! Still think it’s such a good idea? Wanna switch places with her??

Believe me when I say I am just scratching the surface, here.

You love her so much, get snipped.
 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 13
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 5:06:19 PM

I cannot go back with her, regardless how I feel, if she doesn't want kids


^and hence the decision is simple for you!
just stop seeing and talking to her and your feelings will subside

She clearly does not want kids,
and would rather live without you;
then to be with you, having to have kids.

So show some consideration towards her wishes
and have the courage to just move on.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 14
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 5:45:10 PM
A question for you...

Have you ever proposed marriage to this woman?
Have you ever decided to quit smoking, quit drinking, quit going to the pub with your mates?
Have you decided that she can quit work and you will support her and your children?

Or are you offering to be a dad with no marriage, you can continue your lifestyle and help out?

There are lots of women seeking a good man to be a husband, father and provider.
Plus the woman who wants a platonic dad who has already been mentioned on here.

And yes your lady clearly would rather live without you than be with you and have your kids.
Her decision, her right.

The same as yours

I cannot go back with her, regardless how I feel, if she doesn't want kids
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 15
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/17/2015 7:18:03 PM
It's really simple. You aren't compatible. And you aren't compatible in one of THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of life.

Yes, it really is THAT simple. Stop trying to make a square peg fit into a round hole.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 16
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 1:06:12 AM
A better investment of time might be searching for a woman of similar age who is eager to marry and have children.
Repeated discussions about having children could potentially drive this woman away. Good luck with your search.
 another_nail_in_my_heart
Joined: 1/12/2015
Msg: 17
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 3:21:41 AM
Do you realise that the relationship you have with anyone woman according to the numbers has a 50% chance of failure. What do you think the chances of failure will be if you convince this woman to do something she doesn't want too? If you want to keep pursuing her, now would be a good time to start banking money for future child support.

Diamond Smiles
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 18
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 5:09:14 AM
Maybe she just doesnt want to have a kid with YOU. Has that occured to you at all?
 hotdogshop100
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 20
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 6:04:13 AM
Why patronizing about it? She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want children. This decision is just as valid as you wanting children. You can't change who people are. Also realize that people are very replaceable and I'm sure you'll find another sex partner/brood mare to give you what you want.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 21
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 6:09:39 AM
By the time everyone here gets done kicking you in the balls you won't be able to have kids anyway! Go find someone else.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 22
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 6:29:57 AM
You're quite a smug fellow, aren't you OP? As if you mattered, in this woman's life, that you get to have the final say as to what happens to a (no -existence) interpersonal relationship between you and her. Your run-on sentence should have been your first and only paragraph: she doesn't want children.

Solution? Find somebody else who shares your family goals. Stop insisting this woman owes you any consideration, at all.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 23
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HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 7:50:11 AM
I'm wondering why you would even post this. You knew--or should have known--what everyone would say.

If you really want to be a dad, adopt a child, start raising him/her, and enjoy being a parent.

Or, continue to wail publicly about how you can't have what you want. Your choice.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 8:05:48 AM
Let's review what's going on. You dumped her because she's not going to get pregnant for you. Then you two met up at a later date and she has not changed her mind, and you don't know what to do about it. How do you even know she would want get back together with you since you're so obsessed with the baby making issue? Do you want to have the chance to dump her again?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 25
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 11:30:08 AM
If you're willing to have kids without the emotional investment,

there's a thread for that regarding platonic insemination...
 lifeisgrand5
Joined: 12/29/2014
Msg: 26
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HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 4:54:28 PM
It is so unfair to issue an ultimatum to her. What you are telling her is that if she does not do what you want , you are breaking up with her.

Have you thought about adoption ? Perhaps there could somehow be a compromise in your situation?

Good luck OP real love with someone great is hard to find. You may live to regret breaking up with her.

Good Luck OP.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 27
HELP - PLZ ! SHE DOESNT WANT KIDS - I DO!!
Posted: 1/18/2015 9:41:51 PM
I dated the same guy in high school for all of my senior year and then thru the following summer. Broke up just before college, as he was a year behind me in school. A few years later he finds me and wants to talk. He was married to a woman who, he had just discovered, did not want to have children. He asked for my advice. I asked, "Didn't you discuss this subject BEFORE you got married?"
Apparently, they had not.
OP, just as a few other ladies here have mentioned, they did not want to have children and yet later in life had a change of heart and did indeed have a child. This is rare! Most often when a woman tells you she does not want to have children, she means it! You are not going to change her mind. And the more you try to to convince her to change her mind, the more you may push her away.
I tend to agree with those who say, the two of you are not compatible, not a match. Probably best to part ways and seek the companionship of a woman who wants children as much as you do. OR give up your dream of becoming a father and stick with her.
One way or the other you can't expect things to just stay the way they are at this moment.

BTW, the former HS BF? He divorced the wife and married a woman who did want children. The last I knew they had 3 kids.
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