Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Feedback please .      Home login  
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 1
Feedback please .Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I don't know why my first post did not go. Just encase it does show up all of a sudden, I'll keep this brief. I have a lot of difficulty with writing, especially summaries of myself. I can someone's ear off, kid around, flirt and laugh with the best of them. I can talk about myself, dreams, goals, what I like in person etc.. Then I get to something like this and it's like I'm stuck. Bottom line, I'm more of a face to face person and not this. My pictures, I do not smile in them. I never have and I have no clue why. It could be ADD or could just be how I am. Constructive feedback would be great. Thanks everyone
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 2
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/23/2015 6:58:41 PM
Sig, here are a few things that jump out at me: "I have a lot of difficulty with writing," funny thing, I can't play chords on a guitar to save my life, but millions of others can. Oh, you say, I need to "practice" and then I will get better? Never thought of that, , , , PRACTICE,,, and you will get better.
Next, , , ,"My pictures, I do not smile in them. I never have and I have no clue why. It could be ADD or could just be how I am." Sounds like an excuse to me. Is that a grimace in your main photo?
Come on now,,, you are 40+ years old, you can do this !
Good luck.
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 3
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/23/2015 9:21:41 PM
You have no children yet you have a photo with a child.
Does that child's mother know you have published their innocent baby's picture on a free, adult, dating site?

I doubt it.

Also you are only interested in women younger than you.
What about women your own age?

All images are busy and with other people.

And that is only your photos.

Please try again.
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 4
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/23/2015 9:28:36 PM
What matters more than anything when it comes to your online dating profile? One word: Photos. Photos can drastically increase your chances of getting more communication and dates. Or not.

“In fact, profiles with smiling photos are nine times more likely to get communication. Use your photos as a primary tool to express who you are, what you love to do, where you love to go and what type of lifestyle you lead.” (From “The Most Successful Online Dating Profile Photos Revealed” by EHarmony, 2014.)

Want to completely kill any chances of success? Then upload blurry, dark or poor quality images. This seems like an obvious statement, but thousands of people upload pics like this.

You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main photo as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and appealing. Women want to see your eyes and smile.

The psychology is that if you look happy in your photos, women will see you as a fun person they will enjoy being around.

To make you stand out, the background should contrast with your hair color. For better photos, choose a background that is clean and uncluttered.

Please get new photos taken outdoors for better lighting, and with a quality digital camera, not a fuzzy cell phone. Your main photo should be a head-and-shoulder shot, showing you SMILING and looking at the camera. You also need one full body shot, again taken outdoors and smiling.

Other pictures should show you outdoors, doing activities you enjoy. No hats, sunglasses, alcohol or stupid poses. You must be in every picture. Ask a friend to take 24 pictures of you outdoors with a digital camera, wearing different clothes in various locations. Upload the best 8. Caption and date each photo-giving the location and year- to make the photos more interesting and clear.
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 5
view profile
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/24/2015 2:14:15 AM

For the most part I quite liked your profile. The test it well written with a touch of humour and personality.

However there are a few tweeks that could be made.

Talk about the kind of person you are looking for, what attributes do you find attractive in a woman
Talk about what it is like to date you, what can a woman expect when starting a relationship with you.

I like your photos BUT not as a main photo. You need a bright clear sharp smiling photo of you looking your very best for your main.

Your mail restrictions are killing you.
If there is a smart, intelligent, fun, witty, sexy, beautiful 41 year old woman out there who likes your profile, would your really not want her to message you. Any guy who only wants to get message from women younger than him instantly looks like a creep.
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 6
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/24/2015 4:00:43 PM
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I made sure to caption the kid in the picture is my nephew, but I guess if you don't click the photo you won't know so I'll remove that one. These are the most current pictures I have, unless I include race photos, I'm wearing hats and glasses in most and the other's are not that clear for a main picture. What would be the best main for now?

I did not want to make my profile so long that someone would get bored by the end. I know on some that are to long, even if great I just want to get to the point. Guess I need to say what I want then, kind of doh moment there :)

So far I sent quite a few short emails out with questions, nothing creepy about looks or suggestive pictures sent. No replies. I know this is a numbers game, but I can only assume it's the pictures, well it could be the combo of the profile and pictures. I'm certainly not a boring person at all. I struggle with making a profile sound exciting though. I'm not a writer at all. I can walk up to strangers and chat with them for an hour, but I do not excel writing about me. It's almost like I get writers block.

I'll come up with some stuff for what I'm looking here and post first.
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 7
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/24/2015 6:53:01 PM
"So far I sent quite a few short emails out with questions, nothing creepy about looks or suggestive pictures sent. No replies. "
Yes, we know all too well, and that is WHY we stress again and again to get off your butt and TAKE SOME STRONG PICTURES !!!! Nothing will help you more than good photos on a dating site.
Stop making excuses and get busy.
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 8
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 2:02:16 PM
I put the stuff I'm looking for on the bottom and removed the one picture with my nephew. That probably wasn't the best idea since you can't see the caption until you click the picture. I did one picture where I was laughing terribly, but I'm also running a marathon. I have a hat and glasses on. My Dad, for some reason wanted to have this conversation at mile 20 as if I was not racing. That's why I'm cracking up. So the picture comes with a good story. I'm going to use it for main temporally . Anything else constructive?

PS: Where can I put the requirements for contact? I can't find it. I really don't mind someone younger than me, but I do have my limits :)
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 9
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 3:10:44 PM
"I really don't mind someone younger than me, but I do have my limits :)"
If my memory serves me right, you are not required to respond to any message. It's completely up to you.
You don't need a reason, whatever that reason is, and you don't need to explain.

Your current main photo is really bad for a dating profile. Try looking on a cellphone to see what I mean. It might be a good memory for you, but this is your DATING PROFILE and if you expect good results then you need to be thinking of what women think when they are surfing for men to date. Do they really want to waste their time because your main pic is so tiny? Press "delete" and move on to the next profile.
Get it?
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 10
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 5:59:13 PM
I kind of figured that myself. I'll go back to my other. I don't have any others currently. I'm going to work on it, but I also don't want to use a selfie. I've stayed pretty busy lately. The last thing I'm thinking of is a profile picture. Some time this week I will get to it. If any of what I have work better please say. Thanks again for the feed back.
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 11
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 6:18:42 PM
I didn't realize that my profile picture was used as my picture on here. I can use this one, but again didn't seem to help. No response or looks. Nothing... since I've been here. To be fair , it's only been less than a week.
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 12
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 9:08:43 PM
Keep in mind with a catalogue of men at their fingertips the women here can be (and will be) picky about the littlest details, and some will disregard you simply on something a trivial as your height. Obviously you can't change it, but be aware it could be something just that superficial. That's why great photos are so important.

You are a nice-looking young man and a smile would've been great in that closeup.
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 13
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/25/2015 9:15:23 PM
Hi Richard,

The first month here is when you are "fresh meat" and should expect to get overwhelmed with messages and views.
If that's not happening, there's a reason.
Yup, your photos are bad. You have nothing suitable as a main, and you look vastly different in each pic.

Very handsome guy is obviously hidden behind those strange giant black frame tinted glasses.
You have to study the main pic to find him.
Get appropriate eyewear please!
Also, your goatee looks like a dated horseshoe mustache because of the color difference of the hair...
Your height will also be a's been shown that many women have this bizarre height requirement in online dating. I think it's 5' 10" or 6'.

Where are you in the jam photo? I can't find you.
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 14
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/26/2015 3:52:21 AM
get rid of the shot in sunglasses, the group shot outside where we cant tell which one is you, and just keep any of just yourself. Find a full length shot as well. And women mostly do like tall men which seems to mystify the very short woman on here. You are nice looking and I like your profile, it is well written but... well..... I think you know what the problem may be..
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 15
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/26/2015 9:47:24 AM
The main picture does make my glasses look huge. I never noticed that. I have smaller frames too. I'll use those for the next picture. I'll do a selfie so I can change it quick. I use my larger frames for better field of vision with bifocals, but I know that does not matter here.

The reason the pictures all look different is because they where taken over a one and half year period. I've been growing my hair out for quite some time now. I can't do anything about the goatee except shave it. I'm not going to do that for the sake of a dating photo :).

I have plenty of race pictures. I'm sure that would get stale pretty quick. I know my height goes against me here. I'm only 5'5.5". I certainly do not look 41. None of this is bad, but in online dating could it be a deal breaker, maybe. I'm not a bad looking person at all. I'm a attractive guy. One of the reasons I do not like online dating is because of superficial expectations in looks, height dress, job etc .. This has been my experience. I understand why it's there though. You don't want to invest your time if there's something that you know you won't be attracted too. I'm taking it my profile is okay, but change the main picture. Thanks for all the honesty. I feel I'm getting the feedback I needed!

PS: I'm playing the bongos in the jam photo. I wanted a different action shot other the racing. I have shots playing drums, but they're to old. They are 3-4 yrs.
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 16
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/26/2015 8:14:20 PM
Hey Richard,

Most would agree this is a shallow medium.
You'll be passed over by women you might charm when meeting IRL :/
I honestly don't think it's hopeless for you, but it is all about the pics.

Your new selfie isn't good.
You're looking down and are awash in a sea of browns.
You need colors for contrast. Hold the camera at eye level and snap a bunch then use the best one.
Outdoors is best.

In your text, you begin most sentences with "I".

You also repeat things from above...don't drink, don't do drugs, don't have kids.

Take out the part about liking tattooed women.

Delete the inbound mail restrictions. You're not getting any msgs anyway and it looks too picky. The max age of 40 is making you look bad.

Your list of who you're looking for reads more like a list of demands...tone it down/shorten.
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 17
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/26/2015 9:08:21 PM
According to wikipedia, Smyrna, GA population: "The median age was 33 years. For every 100 females there were 92.2 males ."
I would say that bodes well for a 41 year old male looking for a mate.
Everyone has an idea in their head of the person they want to be with, but that doesn't guarantee that such a person even exists. Many of us discover that a body is just the package, not the person. Years ago I had a pal who made me sick, he was an absolute babe magnet, and he was 5'5" and skinny , but he had charm and he had style, and girls would actually fight over him. Good Looking girls , too.
I am not a fan of selfies, I think they suck for a variety of reasons. See my pic to the left? It was taken by a total stranger, a kid I never saw before, he sat down across the table from us, and I asked him to take our picture. He did. The whole thing took a minute. How hard is that?
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 18
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:14:59 AM
Those are some very good points. This is all new to me. I'll remove the bottom half. I'll do an outside selfie today. It's really nice out.
I'm not demanding at all, but this is were how I talk in real life and how I write differ. I get a little stiff in writing summaries. It feels like a lot of pressure because it's being judge like a resume. I can talk to anyone for a long time about anything. I can put myself in a crowd and watch or be a part of. The I statements are because "I" do not know how else to express myself without the I statements. . I'm not a writer at all. Who wants to write for me.... kidding seriously :)
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 19
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:29:02 AM
"I'm not demanding at all, but this is were how I talk in real life and how I write differ."
Of course. In person your voice has lots of qualities that don't show up on a printed page, there are hand gestures, inflection, loudness, body language, all invisible here.
But let's just try a phrase and work with it. This is just one idea, it gets the message across and avoids the dreaded "I's" . It turns an I thing into an us thing. See what you think: " I do not have any kids. I have a dog that sheds like crazy! You would think I have this very large dog, but he's a Chihuahua. There is also my little black cat. I believe she has had some sort of ninja training because one minute she is not around and the next she is in your lap. I adore my little nephew. I try to spend plenty of time with him. He's an awesome little guy."
> > > > >Not having children of my own, my home life revolves around a cute Chihuahua , a small black Ninja-trained cat and a lot of contact with my nephew. He's an awesome little guy (photo with caption optional) and we spend a lot of time together. The cat and dog are entertaining as well and give me good company.
Also you can see that re-writes can say more with fewer words, and that's always good. There is no shame in honing your prose to be better, it is a skill like any other. You train to get better, right? This is no different.
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 20
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:34:18 AM
Great headline.

I ran for decades though. Still crazy.

I like your profile, but you're a bit stubborn about the pics. You still need a new main. Glad you removed the pic with the child. Kids don't belong on dating sites.

Good luck, fellow hippie. (Markus can't spell.)
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 21
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 1:31:39 PM
I got a better picture here, I think. I thought I could attach an image in the forums, but since I can't I'll make this my main. Better?
I'm not trying to come off as stubborn about the pictures. I know they need to change. I got plenty of race pictures, like I said. Those all have glasses and hats though. I got some at shows, but those are a year old or so. My hair is much longer and I'm wearing glasses. I thought I would falsely representing myself. If a race photo too can work I'll upload some. I can't really thing of anyway to change the format of the profile. I'm not a skilled writer by any means. That's what has always been so hard about this method of dating for me. I'm in IT and know everything about computers, ask me to publicly speak I'm great, but ask me to write a summary or report, I'm like a guy with writers block.

Thanks for the comments CuriousDB
PS: I never said I was sane :)
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 22
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 2:05:00 PM
I like the main a lot better. Can you shoot a few with your chin down to the camera a little? (I'm no photographer ... where is he?) Just try it.

Yeah, it's a written medium but I think most can learn well enough to communicate with people here, even on forums. We have posters with many different styles. Do you have trouble with "small talk"? There are a couple of guys here on another profile review thread helping someone with that.

PS: I never said I was sane :)

You'll fit right in here. Come to think of it, a lot of runners I know are crazy.

Wonder if it carries over into cycling?

Good luck, Richard.
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 2:35:27 PM
You want to date 10 years younger but only then only up to your age? ohoh. This doesn't bode well for you. Women will think you seeking a young one and click next.
I thought perhaps you ran to burn off the Coke :) Featured in your Main.
Is that your Daddy? Is he coming on the first date too? Why do you have his picture up?
You could benefit from a few more photos. Are you tired of your friends asking if you got a perm yet? :/
The text is a pleasant read. I too have a shedding fur baby.. makes me mental
I don't run. If you ever see me run you best get going too - means something awful is chasing me.
Haven't you been able to meet women at races?
I thought that famous diet guru actually died from running.
Cue Chariots of Fire, Rowan killed it at the Olys
JMO 26 cents - best of luck to you
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 24
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 3:07:27 PM
I cycle too . Always feel like I'm training for something!
Joined: 1/20/2015
Msg: 25
Feedback please .
Posted: 1/27/2015 3:14:35 PM
I didn't think it would hurt to have a broad range, but I see what you mean. I'm open-minded to it, but it might not go over to well if you don't know me. So, I'll change that.

I deleted the picture of my Dad and I. I thought it would show I'm close to my family, but again might not have the right presentation to someone on a dating site.

Yes I'm REALLY tired of the perm remark. It's my guy friends being smartasses. My women friends say they love my hair and wish they had it. I like that remark a lot more :)

I do not drink any soda at all, but I do have a horrible sweet tooth. I can't tame it so I run and ride!

I just realized, I'm wearing hats in all of my recent pictures or they're race photos where I'm wearing a hat. I must stop wearing hats obviously!

Keep the remarks coming. I think it's starting to come together. Don't you ? one more smiley ... :)
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Feedback please .