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 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 1
Profile Review RequestPage 1 of 1    
Hey Fellow POF Members,

It would be greatly appreciated if you would review my profile and provide some feedback. I welcome all feedback :) The reason why I ask for a review is because I get very few profile views, and even fewer replies/messages. I get on average perhaps 1-3 profile views a week, and 1 message/reply every few months or so. This post is rather long so please forgive me.

I understand and have come to accept the fact that I am not what most women are looking for, especially in the area I live in as this area has a strong military culture as well as a beach culture, so most (I understand not all) women in this area want a man in uniform or an attractive surfer. It is what it is and it isn't a lack of self confidence, I've just lived here my entire life and know what it is. I understand I don't have many pictures on my profile, but the fact is that I rarely go out so it's not like I can simply ask a friend to take a picture of me, plus I hate pictures.

The facts about myself:

1. I'm divorced and have a 3 year old daughter
2. I'm 5"4, balding, and a bit overweight (please do not get on the wagon about weight loss, it simply doesn't work for me)
3. I am very much an introvert and I am not a social person by any means. I don't have any friends other than coworkers which I rarely, if ever hang out with outside of work. In past relationships, my social live involved around my partner and her friends/family.
4. I am a homebody and do not go out alone. In past relationships, my "outside" life style was circled around my partner whom I would go on date nights with, travel with, etc. Some of my best memories come from those times.
5. I'm a very routine person and do not adapt well to change. I'm like clockwork and I love it. Anytime I make a change in my life, I like it being a routine, I don't like changes at the last minute/often. It drives me nuts.
6. Technology is my career and my hobby and it's something I am very passionate about and something I can talk a lot about.
7. I haven't been to a Movie Theater in many years, and I don't watch current TV Shows or listen to mainstream music.
8. I'm a very affectionate person. I love a lot of one on one time, communication, cuddling, affection, etc. My daughter is exactly like me which drives my poor ex-wife crazy as we were exact opposites which is one of the main reasons we are now divorced.
9. I'm a terrible cook and hate cooking.
10. My mom doesn't work/is in the process of getting disability and I help support her.
11. I don't want anymore kids than I currently have, but I am open to dating someone that has 1 kid from a past relationship/marriage.

I understand I probably come off as a "boring" person but it's my life and I love it. I don't have drama, stress, and I know what to expect each and every single day. I just wish I had someone to share it with.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 2
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 7:00:32 AM
You wrote more effectively in your post than your profile.

The profile really does give a 'don't contact me' vibe. Do you realize how you've done that? Remove anything that has any negative tone and you're left with maybe a couple of lines.

Yes, your height is going to affect your responses, which is why great photos are so important. The main you have now is a nice smile, but the photo is not really clear and the bulky jacket makes you look bulkier than you are.

Take a step back and read it again from the point of view as your message recipient. It's not exactly positive or inviting, is it. I'm sure you could do better.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 3
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 7:18:51 AM
Michael - I would say that pic #2 has a warm, well-lit and inviting smile, but none of the other pics are up to that quality, so they need to go. Watch the stance and body language too. This might sound trivial, but it's very important in this venue. Women will scan photos quickly, and if yours aren't good then you can guess what the result will be.
Take a look here. This is a very helpful article on how to take good pictures: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Photogenic
Or you can Google "dating profile photos" , there are tons of articles out there. Get busy improving your photos, it will pay off bigtime, believe me.
Also, your profile mentions "hopeless romantic" twice. but that's as far as you go. Why don't you expand on that and tell the reader what that means to you? Women eat that stuff up, but it has to be honest, not some pop-psych bs you heard on a TV show, not that you would, , ,
Good luck.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 4
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 7:27:22 AM
Your initial post on here is good, full of information. Some reviewers might suggest adding material based on your post.

I'll leave in what seems good to keep:



I am very much nocturnal and rarely wake up before 9 and rarely go to bed before midnight. I've always been this way

I am very passionate about my career and the company I work for and it's a big part of my life.

You could say I am a bit old fashioned and I truly believe that chivalry isn't dead! At least not in my world. I believe in a strictly monogamous relationship. I'm looking for a life partner and a best friend who is passionate and dedicated to their relationship/marriage.


Screen name is not going to be a chick magnet. Probably harmless.

Cool to have the advanced hairline at such a young age. Perhaps women in your area are used to the bald/shaved look because of the military men.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 5
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 8:06:57 AM
Hi Michael,

So what things out of this list you gave us are positive attributes?
From this and your "about me", I get that you are inflexible, boring, and clingy and don't have a life independent of a significant other.
What positive attributes can you bring to a relationship?
What life experiences do you have outside of those related to a partner or your job?
My concerns as a woman are that your entire life would revolve around me, I would be responsible for your social life, and that you seem inflexible as far as anything that disrupts your routine.
Do you, by chance, have Aspergers?
Would you refuse a movie date, watch a TV show, or turn off the radio if she listens to pop music?
You are very sloppily dressed in all your pics.
Are you looking to marry because you depend on a partner to get you out of the house?
I am not criticizing your life choices. Just trying to understand what you are looking for and what you have to offer.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 6
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 8:24:12 AM

It would be greatly appreciated if you would review my profile and provide some feedback.




The beginning sentences of the "About Me" section,
immediately set the tone for a profile, whether good or bad.



About Michael
Harmless Disclaimer: If you view my profile but do not send me a message, I am going to automatically assume that you aren't interested (otherwise you would've messaged me right? lol).

Can you guess which way yours is headed?
Hint: The "lol" won't save it.

Slap some High Karate aftershave on
and get started removing anything not positive.
"Thanks! I needed that!"




I'm going to (ever so slightly) change what you have written here in your Opening Post,
and suggest you make it the closing sentences of your About Michael section.
(Removing the sentence stating, you don't know what else to write.)


I understand I probably come off as a "boring" person but it's my life and I love it. I don't have drama, stress, and I know what to expect each and every single day. I just wish I had someone to share it with.


I understand I probably come off as a "really" wonderful person, it's my life and I love it! I don't have drama, stress, and I know what to expect each and every single day. I just wish I had "you" to share it with.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:59:39 AM
So much negativity in your profile.

Does this sound like a guy anyone would want to date?



Harmless Disclaimer: If you view my profile but do not send me a message, I am going to automatically assume that you aren't interested (otherwise you would've messaged me right? lol). I am a very true and down to earth person and I don't play "hard to get" games.....

writing about myself and advertising myself has never been my specialty, so my apologies if this isn't the most eye-popping self-summary you've ever read :P...

...my lifestyle as it's very predictable with no unexpected surprises...

If you are looking for a "playa" or a one night stand, or a clubbing buddy, then I'm afraid you're viewing the wrong profile.

.....going through another divorce simply isn't an option in my book......

I'm not really sure what else to write


Delete all these parts. The add nothing of value and don't show you in a decent light.

Talk about passions, romance excitement and adventure. Talk about what you can do, you do like, rather than what you don't like or what you arnt like.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 8
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 12:31:06 AM
Hey Gents and Ladies,

Thanks for all your feedback and I'm sorry for not responding sooner. I did a complete rebuild on my profile, changing the headline, pictures, and completely rewriting the entire thing from scratch. I don't have a ton of pictures and most of these are rather old, but I haven't changed much. As soon as I get more/recent pictures, I'll update accordingly.

The profile has much more positive vibe to it now I think... :) I'm not going to answer all the questions (simply because there were too many) but I will state that I don't have aspergers or any other type of autism. My step son had high functioning autism so I am very familiar with it. I will say, however, I do have some anxiety issues, mostly social, which is currently mostly controlled but untreated. I simply "deal with it" as I never really have been a social person and have always been a nervous person.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 9
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:27:00 AM
Get rid of the photo with the little kid.

Ideally POF will fix the bug that currently doesn't show photo captions.



I hope you are having an awesome day and thanks for taking the time in your day to check out my profile. It'll be worth your time, I promise lol :) Well, allow me properly introduce myself to you! My name is Michael and


Get rid of this. They already know your name. Opening with pointless text makes them more likely to hit the back button, and if any girls do searches that show the first 200 characters of your about me, they're less likely to click on your profile because the text is lame.


There is also nothing more satisfying than watching a good comedy or action flick.


If you want to say your favorite movie genres are comedy and action, just about any wording would be better than the above.

I would think quality time with your daughter and your career would be more satisfying than movies. Most people would find sex more satisfying than watching a movie.


Anyway, if I sound like someone you would be interested in getting to know better, you know what to do :) I ALWAYS answer ALL messages, so don't be afraid to write, even just to say hello. :)


You need to get rid of this. The first sentence is in a kazillion other profiles, is a lame way to end your text, and is pointless. The second sentence is dysfunctional: most people who make this claim are dishonest, and if true, it makes a reply not special because everyone gets a reply.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 10
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 6:29:28 AM
Hi, neighbor. Lots of people from Bellview on this site.


I understand and have come to accept the fact that I am not what most women are looking for


You poor guys. Honestly. The men will talk more about the rejection of online dating. Isn't there a thread on that, guys? Maybe two?

Yes, please remove the photo with the child from your profile.

Good luck, Michael.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 11
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 9:01:58 AM
Thanks for the additional suggestions :) I was really turn about putting the picture of my daughter and I on there, so I'm glad to have some suggestions on that. I have replaced that picture. I've also removed the areas suggested in the"about me".
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 12
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 9:04:21 AM

Hey ladies :)
Entertaining an audience?
Speak to one. Use "you" where you can.



I hope you are having an awesome day and thanks for taking the time in your day to check out my profile. It'll be worth your time, I promise lol :) Well, allow me properly introduce myself to you! My name is Michael and I have lived on the Gulf Coast my entire life, although I was born in Ohio which is where my half brother, dad, and step mom live. I have a 3 year old daughter from my previous marriage who is my everything. My main motivation is given to me by my daughter and technology (my career) both of which I am very passionate about.
Delete everything except the part about having a 3 yr old daughter.
We don't care about your family members or where they live.
If you've lived where you are your entire life, what's the point of telling us?
It's total boring fluff; sorry.



I am proud to say that I am an nocturnal introvert. I enjoy living a drama free lifestyle and having quite evenings at home with that special someone. I am a hopeless romantic and I love the Gulf Coast. There is nothing more romantic than having a dinner for two on the beach, then walking in the sand watching the sunset after. We truly do live in paradise here and if you blink, you might miss something!
Most of us nocturnals struggle to exist in the morning people world and wish we could sleep normal hours.
People who say "drama free" always have the most.
Again with the Gulf Coast? We assume you're happy there--you did choose to live there.
Repeating hopeless romantic.
Long walks on the beach and watching sunsets. Original. Wonder why nobody ever thought of that before?
Missing something if you blink? You're not in NYC, hon. You're in the slow lane of the south...



In my free time, I enjoy spending time at home doing things to increase my knowledge in my career (who said you couldn't teach a old dog new tricks?! lol) and watching older movies and TV shows. I must admit, I'm a huge I Love Lucy fan and reality TV fan. There is also nothing more satisfying than watching a good comedy or action flick. I love listening to music and currently dubstep/techno is my go to music, however, I have, and still do listen to most other genre's. I'm also a bit of a casual gamer. Outside of the house, I love going to museums, live music (such as bands on the beach), shopping, movies, and live events such as gallery night downtown and dining as well.
So your life is about work even at home?
I could name a hundred things more satisfying than a movie on the couch. But that's me.
Good for being honest. Divide into 3 paragraphs (career study, movies, music).



I am a very family oriented person and I have a close relationship to my mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles, we've always been close knit, much like the family I've always dreamed of having.

You could say I am a bit old fashioned (after all, my grandparents were a big part of my life growing up and they were married 60 years, so a lot of my values take after them) and I truly believe that chivalry isn't dead! I believe in a strictly monogamous relationship/marriage and as being a divorced father, going through another divorce simply isn't an option. I'm looking for a life partner and a best friend who is passionate and dedicated to their relationship/marriage. I love having stability and order in my life.
I understand you Libras are all about relationships, need to be in love and are unhappy without one, but the sappiness is too much.
Chivalry line is cliche.
Going through another divorce isn't an option hmmm. It sure is if someone's miserable. Does that mean no marriage again or you will murder her if she wants a divorce?

You have totally removed the honest description of you except for a small mention of liking order in life and being introverted.
Be truthful. We weren't telling you to delete everything. We were saying remove the negative spin.

My suggestion is to go to meetup.com, join a couple of groups and make friends.
You will develop confidence. You might have fun.
Most meetup groups have many more women than men. Many of them are looking for partners.
Get out and experience life...make a life outside of your house and your future woman's friends and family.
Gotta be happy and be independent before you become attractive to the opposite sex.

In person meeting women can be more fruitful when you don't look so great in this shallow medium.
Personality can override height, early balding, extra weight, introverted homebody appearance that makes them click to the next here.
Also make sure you are messaging women similar to you. You might be attracted to the bubbly outgoing type but they aren't going to bite.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 13
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 9:52:46 AM
Ms. Tater has given you excellent advice
Why on Earth are you featuring other people on YOUR dating profile?
So divorce again is not an option? come on, no one wants to be threatened - and that is indeed a threat.
So your family lives in another State but you are close knit? Do you go there often? because that is the kinda Q going to be asked with lines like that. Remove the " family I dreamed of having"

I agree - try to get out and meet people real time.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 14
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 10:16:27 AM

I don't have a ton of pictures and most of these are rather old, but I haven't changed much.




^^^^ I Read that slowly, and found it difficult to believe. Maybe you have found the Fountain of Youth?
Even though PoF gives you eight slots for pictures, one less seems to look better. All in one row.
If you remove the "backyard" photo, you will have removed the most awkward, photo of the bunch.






I'm also a bit of a casual gamer.




That sentence reminds me of a similar one.
"I'm just a little bit pregnant."

Yes, you can still play video games.
Just looks better if you leave it off
your introductory dating profile.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 15
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:29:11 PM
Thanks for the additional suggestions and feedback. I have made some minor adjusts as suggest. I'll check out meetup, just took a brief look at it and seems interesting.

However, I do want to make something clear, and I am by no means trying to be rude in anyway or make excuses, I'm simply stating the facts about my life. I've never been a social person, even as a kid (and I'm talking like 5-7 years old even) I would avoid groups of large people, and would often go off and do my own thing along, or with 1 close friend. My dad is this way, my brother is this way, my mom is this way, and my grandparents is this way. We all have little/no friends and we all are homebody's. We are simply not social creatures, and the few people we are close with, we are very close knit. We all have also always been homebody's for the most part.

I do not have any interest whatsoever in going out with groups of people, having more than a few friends, or going out on the town often. It's not my thing and never has been and never will be. It's not a lack of confidence, I simply do not like being around groups of people and perfer spending time with friends/romantic partners in a one-on-one setting.

I have a life, and I love my life. I simply want someone to share it with, someone to go out on date nights with, and someone to communicate with. I have hobby's (gaming, movies, computers, music, etc) and I am happy with my current social life.

Most of my past relationships have been with people with similar lifestyles as myself, but I have also dated a couple outgoing people as well who I would go out to clubs with large groups of friends, go bowling with, etc.
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 16
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 2:53:02 PM
^^^ I understand. There are a lot of people who have these things in common with you here. Hang around when you're finished with profile review and read some threads. You're not alone in any of what you've posted here from what I've read over the last couple years.

Good luck.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 17
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 8:18:33 PM

my previous marriage
But you are listed as single, not divorced? The distinction will matter to some.


I enjoy living a drama free lifestyle
The vast majority of people who say they hate drama or are drama-free are the kings and queens of drama.


I am an nocturnal
Should be "I am a nocturnal".


having quite evenings at home with that special someone
Should be "quiet evenings". And obviously you like being in a relationship when you are in one. However, this sentence kind of makes me wonder if you are able to be just as happy when you are having quiet evenings at home with yourself.


doing things to increase my knowledge in my career
I would like to know just a touch more about this. Do you read books/articles? Or do more hands on tinkering with computers? Write programs and learn new languages for fun? Volunteer with an IT organization? Etc. "Doing things" is incredibly vague.


A first date should be something where both people are very comfortable
So why haven't you told her a date that would make you very comfortable? You have mentioned a number of at home and out of home activities you like, but there is no clear indication of what you would like to do on a first date. I love a great movie night in, but I would hate to do that as a first date.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 18
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 11:10:57 PM
Thanks :) I didn't realize there would be a difference between single/divorced, so I have updated that. I also didn't notice the spelling mistakes, thanks for pointing that out. I also added some additional information you pointed out as well.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 19
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/28/2015 11:36:55 PM
"I have a 3 year old daughter from my previous marriage who is my everything. My main motivation is given to me by my daughter and technology (my career) both of which I am very passionate about. "
Both of theses sentences irritate me. The first is common, I see it on many profiles : "My cat, dogs, children, family (pick one) is everything to me." And I'm thinking, great, where do I fit in? There's no room. I don't like to see that.
The second sentence is poorly written. Do you mean that your daughter and your career are the two main passions in your life?
"I do not have any interest whatsoever in going out with groups of people, having more than a few friends, or going out on the town often. It's not my thing and never has been and never will be. It's not a lack of confidence, I simply do not like being around groups of people and perfer spending time with friends/romantic partners in a one-on-one setting. "
You better re-think this, because just as YOU have family, your new partner will likely have friends and family too, and she will want to include them in your new lives. If you try to push everybody away, you will push her away too, we call those people "control freaks", so think about that.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 20
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 12:08:32 AM
I should probably repraise that. I don't have any problem being involved in my partners family and I do like being involved in their life. I just don't have an interesting in maintaining my own group of separate friends at this time. Good eye on the wording on sentences, I'll reword them a bit better.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 21
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 12:08:57 AM
The should say friends and family :P
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 22
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:17:50 AM
Great pics.



I have a 3 year old daughter from my previous marriage who is my everything.


Why bother posting a profile? If your daughter is your "everything", why do you need to date? Where would a woman fit into that scenario?

Yeah, you get it. Fix that. Kids turn most young women way off. I'd tone the stuff about your daughter down, waaaay down.

Looking real good here, Michael.

EDIT: Does your daughter live with you, Michael? Big difference in dating a man who has full or joint custody and one who does the visiting thing. Don't waste your time or anyone else's. Post the living arrangements on your profile. Good luck.
 GigabitEthernet
Joined: 9/7/2014
Msg: 23
Profile Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:35:52 AM
Thanks for the tips :) I changed it a bit. My daughter situation is a bit odd, we don't follow a schedule and we have joint legal custody with visitation. We have a court schedule, but we don't follow it, just work with each other and have my daughter at random times.
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