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 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 1
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Is it just me? Like, is there something on my profile that makes girls on this site lose interest in me or are they just not worth my time? I don't think there's anything wrong...........Like, 4 minutes after I've started a conversation, they'll say "Yeah, sorry. I'm not interested." Like, dude...............WTF!! I'm not a creep!! I don't deserved to get burned like that!!
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 2
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:04:25 AM
How often has that happened? People do flake but usually if I start chatting with someone I get a date. If someone is messaging back it usually means they're interested in at least meeting. I just ask a couple questions and by maybe the 3rd message i send to them I ask to meet. Are you talking too much or sounding over eager?
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 3
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:06:32 AM
Also your profiles says you're working on getting your license back? That says to everyone that you got a DUI. I wouldn't talk about trying to get your license back.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 4
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:07:49 AM
It happens often. I can show you a previous conversation I had and you can tell me what went wrong, if you want. Or you can just look at my profile and tell me what's wrong.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 5
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:09:37 AM
It wasn't a DUI! I'm working on getting it back because I have anxiety attacks. I rarely drink.
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 6
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:14:45 AM
Yeah sure you can post the conversation, just leave out their name.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 7
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:16:53 AM
Indy1017
1/27/2015 1211 PM
Hey. How you doing, cutie? :) lol

Indy1017
1/27/2015 1248 PM
What do you like to do for fun?

unknown
1/27/2015 1254 PM
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Hey I'm doing good how are you??


unknown
1/27/2015 1219 PM
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I enjoy doing anything really how about you??


Indy1017
1/27/2015 1235 PM
I'm all right. Enjoying the blizzard? :P

Indy1017
1/27/2015 1253 PM
I'm open-minded to pretty much anything. So, I like having fun.

Indy1017
1/27/2015 1221 PM
So, you're a nurses aid?

unknown
1/27/2015 1207 PM
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Yeah sorry I'm not interested


Indy1017
1/27/2015 1245 PM
Um, ok..............?
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 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 8
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:21:36 AM
You should refrain from any physical compliments when messaging such as calling them cutie etc. Stick to questions that help you to get to know them better. The reason she stopped messaging you was because you said you were "open-minded to pretty much anything." That definitely came off as having sexual connotations. You don't want to be sexual when you message women on here. They will think you're only after sex.
 SHS24
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 9
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:23:26 AM
Not worth your time.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 10
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:26:45 AM
I wasn't Being sexual. That's just gross!
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 11
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:29:08 AM
It's hard to say what attracts one person to another, I am sure there have been people who you instantly werent attracted to. Just because you message a girl doesn't mean she has some right to like you.

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Maybe try being a little more interesting in a message.


1/27/2015 1211 PM
Hey. How you doing, cutie? :) lol


Is a very boring opening message



Indy1017
1/27/2015 1248 PM
What do you like to do for fun?

Is probable covered in her profile, if it's not then why message her in the first place?



Indy1017
1/27/2015 1221 PM
So, you're a nurses aid?


Also covered in her profile.

Basically all you have done in your messages is tell her you can read.


Your profile it's self it too brief to review. You say nothing interesting about yourself. You also say your profession is a voice actor, when later we read you hope to become an voice actor. I might change my profession to astronaut as I hope to be one one day. DO NOT LIE IN YOUR PROFILE.

What are you passionate about?
What makes you special and unique?
Why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on this site?
What is it like to date you?
What attributes do you find attractive in a woman?
What does romance mean to you?

Answer these in your texts and you'll be well on your way
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 12
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:30:31 AM
Next time when they ask a question like what do you like to do for fun, let them know specifically. The reason they're asking questions is to get to know you a little better.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 13
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:32:01 AM
It's hard to say what attracts one person to another, I am sure there have been people who you instantly werent attracted to. Just because you message a girl doesn't mean she has some right to like you.

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Maybe try being a little more interesting in a message.


1/27/2015 1211 PM
Hey. How you doing, cutie? :) lol


Is a very boring opening message



Indy1017
1/27/2015 1248 PM
What do you like to do for fun?

Is probable covered in her profile, if it's not then why message her in the first place?



Indy1017
1/27/2015 1221 PM
So, you're a nurses aid?


Also covered in her profile.

Basically all you have done in your messages is tell her you can read.


Your profile it's self it too brief to review. You say nothing interesting about yourself. You also say your profession is a voice actor, when later we read you hope to become an voice actor. I might change my profession to astronaut as I hope to be one one day. DO NOT LIE IN YOUR PROFILE.

What are you passionate about?
What makes you special and unique?
Why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on this site?
What is it like to date you?
What attributes do you find attractive in a woman?
What does romance mean to you?

Answer these in your texts and you'll be well on your way
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 14
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:35:46 AM
So, what are you suggesting? This isn't the first time this happened. Where do I start? How do I start a conversation, then?
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 15
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:37:45 AM
I guess I could do that.
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 16
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 10:43:57 AM
Just ask a few questions about their life. Don't try too hard when it comes to messaging. Don't try to flirt or woo them. It will come off as having ulterior motives. If they're messaging back they already know you're interested and they have some interest too, otherwise they would just ignore your message. Give some time between responses as well. Sometimes you can message right a way but other times wait a day. Otherwise you come off as over eager to meet a stranger. They're not going to be offended if you don't get back to them until the next day. If they do get offended they're way too needy anyways.

Just keep it casual at first.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 17
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Posted: 1/27/2015 10:52:16 AM
"Just ask a few questions about their life." You mean like as an example, Where they went to school?
 Che216
Joined: 12/24/2014
Msg: 18
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:03:53 AM
Sure. Whatever you think will help you get to know who they are as a person a little more. Also, you want to show that you actually read their profile, so ask about something they wrote about.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 19
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:07:18 AM
I think this forum needs to stay focused on profiles.
Once you move into messaging, the profile has done it's job.
Deryk, you have 2 lines of text about yourself? That's not much to go on. You need to write more.
I'm not crazy about the fuzzy/dark photos either. Why not get new, sharp, bright pictures and get some action going?
Good luck.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 20
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Posted: 1/27/2015 11:08:30 AM
Thanks, dude. :)
 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 21
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:23:35 AM

I think this forum needs to stay focused on profiles.


Right. Really great to see people taking this much time to help OP though.

You have very little profile to review but you'll do fine once everyone gets here to help.

But this:

Like, is there something on my profile that makes girls on this site lose interest in me or are they just not worth my time?


No, no, Deryk. This is the kind of attitude that calls in the POF Attitude Adjustment Vaccination Team. We are minion. (Would the person who coined the POF AVT the other day please come forward? CrookCatcher or gto?)

You think because young women you are interested in aren't interested in you there must be something wrong with them? Sounds like sour grapes to me and you're engaging in some kind of magical thinking there. Man up and accept it: not every woman you're interested in is going to be interested in you.

Now, be respectful and you'll have a great profile when your finished here. You're gonna get some flack. Have a sense of humor about it.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 22
Question
Posted: 1/27/2015 11:42:02 AM
"Like, is there something on my profile that makes girls on this site lose interest in me or are they just not worth my time?"
It IS frustrating. I probably sent 3,000 emails before I figured out how to make online dating work, but then I didn't have the guidance of seasoned pros in a forum to guide me.
You need to keep something else in mind - Until you meet this person face to face you have NO IDEA who is really sending those messages. Profiles are not fact-checked(duh) and anyone can make a phony profile and have lots of fun making others mad. You might just discover that the hot girl you have been lusting after is actually a pimply 12 year-old boy using Grandma's computer, so don't get too wrapped up until you actually do meet.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 23
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Posted: 1/27/2015 12:09:50 PM
I've done nothing disrespectful. I'M the one who's been disrespected.
 Indy1017
Joined: 7/18/2013
Msg: 24
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Posted: 1/27/2015 12:12:25 PM
Ok, then. What else do I fill my profile with?
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 25
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Posted: 1/27/2015 12:22:56 PM


I've done nothing disrespectful. I'M the one who's been disrespected.


Someone not being interested is not disrespectful. Not every woman in the world is going to want to date you. If you see a woman's profile and decide you arn't attracted to her is that disrespectful? NO it's just personal preference.

What are you passionate about?
What makes you special and unique?
Why should a woman date you over the millions of other guys on this site?
What is it like to date you?
What attributes do you find attractive in a woman?
What does romance mean to you?

Answer these in your profile text and you'll be well on the way.



A good first message is something along the lines of

Hi ______

Really like your profile, you sounds really cool and fun. I see you enjoy _______ thats amazing, how long have you been doing it for? I'm really into _________ too, have you ever __________? How was your weekend? Do anything exciting?


Simple, shows you read the profile and have taken an interest in it along with shared interests. Also asking easy questions makes it easier to respond.
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