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Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 1
Review RequestPage 1 of 1    
Afternoon ladies and gents. Forty three year old guy here, looking for committment-minded woman (for marriage, actually). Can I get some tips on my profile? Any red flags? Pics ok? Realize I do live in a small town, and I'm looking around 100 mile radius. Is this a turn off because of distance? It's not hard to drive 100 miles for me. Also, how much of a turn off is smoking? Thanks in advance for tips.
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 2
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:28:19 PM

Can I get some tips on my profile?

Sure! Welcome to Profile Reviews.

I'm an encourager. I like being positive, and always lifting people up, never bringing them down.

I'm not really attracted to black women. Nothing against black chicks, but you're just not my thing. :)

I'm not one to put up with BS. I don't have time for women that aren't commitment-minded, or will chat for two days then disappear. Please don't waste my time or your time.

You appear to have a couple of conflicting sentences.
I suggest going one way or the other. Nice or a complete asshat.
You will do better here on PoF if you keep it all positive.
Good luck.
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 3
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 1:36:02 PM
Thanks for the tip!
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 4
view profile
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 3:05:45 PM

Christian. Confident. Funny.

Then prove it, Christian is the only one of these three that comes across in this profile. I distrust people who say they are funny, don't say you are funny, just be funny. This is a completely humourless profile.

I'm not really attracted to black women. Nothing against black chicks, but you're just not my thing. :)

Are you being inundated with messages from black women? If not then why put this in? What is the need for mentioning what you are not attracted to. All it does is make you sound mildly racist. If you don't find black women attractive, just don't message them, simple.

What I'm into:

Helping people
Adventuring and exploring
Outdoor stuff
Always getting better in every area

Could you make this sound any vaguer? Be specific, what adventures have you been on? Do you play music or just like to listen? What are some favourite bands/artists ? Outdoor stuff basically includes 99% of planet earth, be more specific.

I'm an encourager. I like being positive, and always lifting people up, never bringing them down.

Unless they happen to be a black woman reading your profile, in which case you are happy to tell them they arnt attractive before knowing what they look like or have got to know them as a person. Way to lift people up.
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 5
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 3:40:07 PM
smoking is a turnoff for sure. I would omit any mention of racial prejudice. Get rid of any negative statements. Not likely you will be inundated by black women wanting to contact you and if so, just ignore. Less offensive.

I never understand why someone wants to settle down and with no one in mind. For me it would the other way around.

Have you registered with any Christian dating sites if it is that important to you?
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 6
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:33:20 PM
Thanks for the tips. I'll work on revamping.
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 7
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:44:44 PM
The Christian dating sites have very few women I'm interested in. They probably have (I'm guessing) less than half the members POF does.

I never understand why someone wants to settle down and with no one in mind. For me it would the other way around.

I'm fairly specific in what I'm looking for:

"Basically, I'm looking for a sweet, affectionate woman that has a relationship with God, with a good sense of humor who loves life, and who's ready to marry and have kids. We can chat and be friends first. I'm cool with that. Wanna meet a great girl who I can have intelligent conversations with, and go on grand adventures with."

Should I expand this to be more specific?

Thanks for the help so far.
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 8
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:00:32 PM
You should probably be really clear about which branch of Christianity you follow, Lord knows you wouldn't want to meet someone who was Anglican if you are Baptist, that would be the apocalypse waiting to happen. Be VERY clear so you don't waste your/her time.

So far as anyone you DON'T want to meet, you can lose that sentence entirely as you will be doing 99.999999infinity% of the initial messaging.

For a marriage-minded profile, you really need to show why you are marriage material. Talk about your work (shows reliability, stability) and mention if you have pets (shows kindness and nurturing tendancies).

Just because there are more women here doesn't mean they are going to be what/who you're looking for. You'll probably still have better results on the specific Christian sites as that seems to be your major dealbreaker.

You may also have some difficulty here with the age settings default at 14 yrs younger as a maximum.
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 9
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 8:40:34 PM
I'll give the Christian sites another look, but there is no free messaging with them, which is one of the main reasons I like POF. My age range is 28-36, which is random, but I want a woman young enough to still want to/be able to have kids.

Profile revamped.
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 10
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 9:43:41 PM
Hello Eric,

My first thought is this--calling women "chicks" or "girls" is very derogatory.
As a car salesman, you should know that.

Since you seem to be very religious, you should specify what type of Christian you are.
You chose "other" so you aren't Catholic, Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, or Presbyterian.
Probably a hundred or more branches.
Jehovah Witness prob wouldn't do well with a Mormon...
Since you plan to have children you would need to decide what church to raise them in.
Might be conflict.

100 miles might be okay by you but will it be okay with her?
It can work if you're both okay with it.
Traveling gets old. Consider the conflicts.
Are you willing to relocate for her?

Smoking isn't that big of a deal.
Obviously it's going to rule out women who can't tolerate it.
Was never a prob for me in getting messages or dates.

Why the email restriction for age?
Can't handle all the mail in your inbox?
You can't talk to a 28 year old here anyway.
Women over 36 can still have healthy babies.

Delete the :)'s. you're a 43 yr old man, not 17.
She has to be able to sing? Odd request.
All women can sing...not all have a great voice.

What is "good clean fun"?
How do you all make your own fun in your small town?

You go way too heavy on the "helping others" theme and it sounds insincere.

Your interests are generic, sparse, and none are couple friendly or woman friendly.
Look at profiles for ideas.

Showing no personality or humor.
A good profile is all about the details and not boring.
When it's done it shouldn't be able to fit other men.
If it could also describe your friends then be more specific.
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 11
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:08:53 PM
Posted by the site owner:

Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/19/2013 11:02:15 AM
if you are are looking for women the youngest you can search for is your age -14 this rule is only in effect if you search for women under 35. Women 18 to 21 can only be contacted by men under 30. (not fully implemented yet)

Women who are 18 come to the site to find people to date, they don't come here to find "friends" with men in their 50's. Over all for young women its just a horrible user experience as for some of them over half their messages are from men double their age. This change only effects 1.7% of first contacts between users on the site but it will make a huge difference in terms of female perception of the site.

You are 43. 43 - 14 is.... 29. So although technically most of your age settings are within the guidelines, it will still just look icky and pervy. If you're OK with that, leave it. Or - you could remove you age restrictions entirely and just let fate have at it. Don't expect to be overwhelmed with incoming messages from women looking to pop out your future tax deductions, though.

If you are planning to make new babies, you do realize how smoking affects the little dudes that you are producing to do the job, right? Just a thought to help you present a better 'father' image.

If you didn't have any luck with the specific Christian sites, why not try the sites more geared to marriage?? There are lots of those, too.
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 12
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:18:34 PM
What matters more than anything when it comes to your online dating profile? One word: Photos. Photos can drastically increase your chances of getting more communication and dates. Or not.

“In fact, profiles with smiling photos are nine times more likely to get communication. Use your photos as a primary tool to express who you are, what you love to do, where you love to go and what type of lifestyle you lead.” (From “The Most Successful Online Dating Profile Photos Revealed” by EHarmony, 2014.)

Want to completely kill any chances of success? Then upload blurry, dark or poor quality images. This seems like an obvious statement, but thousands of people upload pics like this.

You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main photo as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and appealing. Women want to see your eyes and smile.

The psychology is that if you look happy in your photos, women will see you as a fun person they will enjoy being around.

To make you stand out, the background should contrast with your hair color. For better photos, choose a background that is clean and uncluttered.

Please get new photos taken outdoors for better lighting, and with a quality digital camera, not a fuzzy cell phone. Your main photo should be a head-and-shoulder shot, showing you SMILING and looking at the camera. You also need one full body shot, again taken outdoors and smiling.

Other pictures should show you outdoors, doing activities you enjoy. No hats, sunglasses, alcohol or stupid poses. You must be in every picture. Ask a friend to take 24 pictures of you outdoors with a digital camera, wearing different clothes in various locations. Upload the best 8. Caption and date each photo-giving the location and year- to make the photos more interesting and clear.

Unfortunately POF has a bug that makes photo captions invisible, except for your main photo. I hope they get this problem fixed soon.
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 13
Review Request
Posted: 1/29/2015 10:39:05 PM
Smoking is a deal breaker for the majority of women. The number of Americans who smoke continues to decline, thank goodness, and was 17.8% in 2013. The best thing you can do for your own health and the health of your future children is stop smoking.

"Children are significantly affected by secondhand smoke. Children's bodies are still developing, and exposure to the poisons in secondhand smoke puts them at risk of severe respiratory diseases and can hinder the growth of their lungs.

"Secondhand smoke is a known cause of low birth weight, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, middle ear infection, and other diseases."

Because my father was a heavy smoker, I developed asthma as an adult. I had a 36% greater chance of developing asthma. Thanks, Dad.

Source: Centers for Disease Control, 2013.
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 14
Review Request
Posted: 1/30/2015 12:31:53 AM
Smoking is a lot less popular than it was, say 40 or 50 years ago, however it is a lifestyle choice, not something like a photo than can be swapped for another on a profile.
If you don't like Black women then you just eliminated 75% of your choices, according to a little research. The good news is that there are more women than men in your town, so it should be like shooting fish in a barrel for you, or maybe even in Natchez. "For every 100 females there were 76.2 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 68.2 males."
That being said, I think there is a lot of room for improvement in your profile.
First, I think the body language in your main image is horrible.
And I don't see your text as either romantic OR respectful, but maybe having so few men will be the deciding factor. In my area I would get zero messages with your profile - Just sayin' .
Good luck.
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