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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.      Home login  
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 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 1
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.Page 1 of 1    
I am not having much luck so far. The written reparte' seems to go well, but on first meeting i seem to attract women who either want money or want to convert me to their religion. I do get messages from women, but almost always from prohibitively far away. I just want to know how to convey that i am not a player and am just looking for a good woman for potential partnership... i don't have a laundry list of deal-breakers, as i realize everyone is an individual and can have compensating qualities. I am just curious, does mine look deficient in some obvious way that i am missing?
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 2
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 2:56:28 PM
Hi there - When you say "meeting women", does this mean face to face? If so then you need to dialog more before meeting, and maybe talk on the phone too, to see where they're at, and what you both hope to find in a relationship.
As long as you get messages from women then your profile is doing it's job. I think you can cut down on the static by setting a mail restriction as to distance. Everything else you can ascertain prior to meeting.
I like your area, and I have to say I'm a bit jealous. I had a wonderful camping trip to the Klamath river a few years ago, when that huge fire was burning.
 jukebox_cowboy
Joined: 8/12/2014
Msg: 3
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 3:00:55 PM
If your getting messages, then your pics and profile are doing well. Keep doing what you're doing.

Online dating takes a lot of patience, just hang in there and beware of a lot of fake profiles on this site.
 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 4
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 3:07:05 PM
Thank you for the feedback. After considering it, I believe you are probably right, I should spend more time on communications prior to the meeting so I am less likely to walk into an obvious mismatch.

I worked on the Klamath N.F. for a long time, it is a great place. I moved to the desert for a change of pace, and it is great except for the being alone part.
 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 5
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 3:09:18 PM
I am perhaps a little too trusting, your alert about fake profiles had never occurred to me.
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 6
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 3:17:41 PM
I get hit on by lots of phonies from all over the globe, some are maybe legit, but am I really gonna travel to Brazil to meet a woman online? No. Lord knows there are enough foreigners here already, we can meet them without traveling far.
Watch out for the ones that have a very pretty woman, age 58, and then the text says " My real age is 28 but they won't let me change it". Those are always bogus and scammers.
It's like anything else, when something seems to good to be true, , , ,I see women's profiles who look like they would enjoy your lifestyle, so keep fishing, as they say.
Good luck.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 7
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 3:20:02 PM

I am just curious, does mine look deficient in some obvious way that i am missing?

You look glum in your photos. Most of your photos are blurry. And you must be in every photo, according to POF rules.

What matters more than anything when it comes to your online dating profile? One word: Photos. Photos can drastically increase your chances of getting more communication and dates. Or not.

“In fact, profiles with smiling photos are nine times more likely to get communication. Use your photos as a primary tool to express who you are, what you love to do, where you love to go and what type of lifestyle you lead.” (From “The Most Successful Online Dating Profile Photos Revealed” by EHarmony, 2014.)

Want to completely kill any chances of success? Then upload blurry, dark or poor quality images. This seems like an obvious statement, but thousands of people upload pics like this.

You have 8 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main photo as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on. A genuine smile is inviting, warm and appealing. Women want to see your eyes and smile.

The psychology is that if you look happy in your photos, women will see you as a fun person they will enjoy being around.

To make you stand out, the background should contrast with your hair color. For better photos, choose a background that is clean and uncluttered.

Please get new photos taken outdoors for better lighting, and with a quality digital camera, not a fuzzy cell phone. Your main photo should be a head-and-shoulder shot, showing you SMILING and looking at the camera. You also need one full body shot, again taken outdoors and smiling.

Other pictures should show you outdoors, doing activities you enjoy. No hats, sunglasses, alcohol or stupid poses. You must be in every picture. Ask a friend to take 24 pictures of you outdoors with a digital camera, wearing different clothes in various locations. Upload the best 8. Caption and date each photo-giving the location and year- to make the photos more interesting and clear.

Unfortunately POF has a bug that makes photo captions invisible, except for your main photo. I hope they get this problem fixed soon.
 tennistown
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 8
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 4:00:37 PM

i seem to attract women who either want money or want to convert me to their religion.




Praise the lord, and pass the hat up front.






City ---- Cedarville, California

I live in a remote town in the high desert.





Is that near...... Petticoat Junction?







I prefer to be around happy people who learned from their past but are not stuck in it. I raised a couple girls alone, so i know my way around the kitchen but eating one's own food all the time gets boring, as you probably know.



You close your "About Me" section with a boring ending, as you probably know.


I suggest changing the last sentence to end on a high note.
You'll probably have to use your own words
to succinctly match up with the rest
of what you've written. But, something like.....



... so I know my way around around the kitchen. I'm used to picky eaters and can delight your taste buds with my culinary prowess. Colonel Sanders can't compete with my sexy chicken legs!



The main thing, is that you end with a positive, yes?
 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 9
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 4:19:01 PM
pruning the "boring" sounds like a good idea.

and there is no Petticoat Junction here... actually, train tracks never made it here, but we ARE about half a mile from the edge of the earth. We would be like Mayberry except Mayberry had two cops and we only have one part-timer, who is responsible for rolling up the sidewalks after dark.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 10
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 4:43:32 PM
^^^ k, that was funny
Unlike your profile - makes me think I'd be sitting in the yellow truck driving to Chico to see the grandson
Women ( no matter the age) want excitement, you know that tingle.
having an Interest being " looking for that someone special" makes you sound like a stalker in a Van at the grocery store. Serious no.
You do look sad... how about you happy up?
Instead of about me put in your name. Officer " got the walks" can protect you
We are near the same age
I like what you said here, I wouldn't reply to a msg you sent. Just being truthful
Come on, you still know how to woo, right?
 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 11
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 5:02:56 PM
thank you, ouija. I guess I was sounding pretty "grandpa-ish" and it never once occurred to me that saying I was "looking for that someone special" would be construed as creepy... but since you are the target audience demographic, I am going to take your advice. I am way out of woo practice, I do realize, and really do I appreciate you folks taking the time to help me get more in tune with this medium. I have been around long enough to know that listening to criticism and adjusting to it isn't a vanity issue, it is just common sense. Now I am going to go look at your profile and see another one who wouldn't have replied....LOL
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 12
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 6:01:30 PM
Cross heart
I would not reply
because I would think we waiting for the other to die. You darn well do know how to make a woman feel like a Woman
So get busy :)
Nothing is wrong with Grandpas.. but you are looking to date not mind lil booger eaters.
show that
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 13
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 7:54:48 PM
I think you've got a well composed profile - you seem intelligent and honest - that should be attractive to the right type of person. You might check out my profile, I've been doing a little bit of informal research on the subject of online dating in general, and specifically with the behavior of men vs women.

As with anything - fraud is a factor, I wrote a summary in my profile as food for thought when men become vexed by the process. Because initially I had a lot of cast and fail to snag attempts, which caused a bit of butthurtage - so I sort of set off to figure out the all consuming question of - why?
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 14
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 9:17:18 PM
Hello Desert Dweller,

You need to squeeze this in somewhere!
and there is no Petticoat Junction here... actually, train tracks never made it here, but we ARE about half a mile from the edge of the earth. We would be like Mayberry except Mayberry had two cops and we only have one part-timer, who is responsible for rolling up the sidewalks after dark.
If you've got the gift of humor, show it.
Make her laugh and you're halfway there.

What you have is adequate, but it's dry (pun intended).
Liven it up and show some passion.
We want to be excited about contacting you.


Not interested in drama or being compared to others
If you are a hardcore christian conservative, i am probably not the guy for you.
people who learned from their past but are not stuck in it.

Brings me down...avoid any negativity.
It's a turn off.
Find out what you need to know in conversations.

I'm the self appointed grammar police .
You have some errors like missing words, 2nd paragraph is a giant run on sentence, etc.

What interests do you have that a woman can share besides walks in desert?
Whats it like to date you?
Where are you planning to travel?
What do you like so much about Idaho?

Fill in the 1st date section.
 lookinaround10
Joined: 7/30/2014
Msg: 15
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Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/30/2015 10:06:26 PM
Your language skills and reading comprehension are extraordinary. Thank you for taking the time for such a detailed analysis. Wow. There isn't a single keystroke of yours that i would contest or feel a reason to be defensive about.

Is this in your real life occupation's wheelhouse or something? Every reply I have received in this request for an honest critique has been met with suggestions from obviously very bright people that truly just give suggestions for improvement and nowhere within the ballpark of judgmental snark. Truly an unusual online community, in my experience. Thank you.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 16
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/31/2015 2:05:38 AM
I agree with the others.

You are a handsome decent man and seem to be honest about who and what you are.

So here are my suggestions:

Photos with a smile.
At least one dressed up as you would be for a date. I think you would look great in a suit.
Perhaps one of you on a hike?
Near or in of those fabulous hot pools?
Working on a piece of furniture?


Now your profile:

See below with suggested changes:

I recently retired from a career as a forester and live in a remote town in the high desert.
Am hoping to meet you and we can explore, just enjoy life and find out what is over the next ridge.
Hike out on the desert several times per week for exercise and to find whatever "treasures" are out there.

Living in a big old restored house furnished with mostly antiques, I enjoy spending a fair amount of my time refinishing old furniture or tinkering with vintage cars. But most of my time is spent wandering around the desert here, rock-hounding, arrowhead hunting, boony-bouncing and enjoying the numerous hot springs in my area. Want to come for a swim?

I raised a couple girls alone, who are now wonderful adult women, and now have a lot of free time to explore and travel more.
The 'back to the land' log house I built in northern Idaho is a favorite place that I visit at least once every summer.

It is obvious I like being outdoors so if you also like being outdoors, there is a lot of outdoors here.
Sharing it with you would be even sweeter!





A question... what is boony - bouncing?
If it is something like driving fast over bumps in a quad bike.... that would also make a great photo.

You are an active man, obviously a good bushman ( or whatever you call it there) and have passions.

Show them in your photos.

Your current photos make you look like a glum, sad, bored man.
Which you are not.

Please no photos of you looking like a grandad.
You are here seeking a woman to date not to be a baby sitter.

Different market.

Also with such glum and lonely looking pictures you could be looking like an easy mark for religious zealots and scammers.
And I agree, saying you are looking for someone special could also be giving the wrong impression.

Women love confident, capable and active men.
So have pictures and a profile which shows you like this.


Good luck.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 17
Looking for advice~~ thank you in advance.
Posted: 1/31/2015 5:46:31 AM
We want you to succeed! Seems all the women are on the same page ( and we are all in different parts of the World)
btw, there are other POF forums ( with some snarkiness) but
If it has been a while since you've dated you might wish to peruse some of them. Alas like mentioned there are some scammers and fakes and flakes, you need to use common sense to weed them out
I wish you well
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