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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to ea      Home login  
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 freelychill1
Joined: 12/16/2014
Msg: 1
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?Page 1 of 1    
Been seeing a guy since about November. Recently, he has a new job that he works all day until around 10 at night. Almost has to keep in contact with clients and having to call them and such. The past two weekends, we have made it work and have visited each other for a day/night.

Last week, he said he had to be more focused this week, so he didn't text me as much and would just send me a text in the morning and then reply and then ignore my text until 10 at night and then reply and then fall asleep or was too tired to reply. (says goodnight some nights) He then apologizes in the morning and then just repeats what he does. I get he can't text at work, but he could atleast call or send a text during and say hes thinking of me or something around the times of that.

He was supposed to come down this weekend. but the weather was bad, so he didn't. He didn't even say sorry or anything, just pretended like everything was fine. Told him to call me, and then he said that he was going to be away for valentines day and won't be back from his work week until the 15th. (We had promised to spend it together, I even booked it off) I then continued on and said that I felt this was too hard. He was silent, and then says that he doesn't want to break up and wants to work it out. That he tries to make time for me in the mornings (which feel like he doesn't), and then says that he reads my texts and it brightens and makes his day but he can't reply to them since he's working and will get in trouble. I then agreed to working it out.

We wouldn't be seeing each other until the weekend after valentines day and he just lives an hour away. His dad usually drives him up to see me. Just our schedules are clashing and making it hard for us to see each other. I feel like he's too busy for a relationship, that he just needs to just focus on his career. What should I do?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/2/2015 12:56:29 PM
You two can remain together or you two can break-up for whatever reason you wish.
You don't even have to provide an excuse for the split if you no longer wish to spend time together.
Do what you wish. It requires no validation or approval. Good luck with whatever you choose.
 OtisGreening
Joined: 12/8/2014
Msg: 3
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/2/2015 1:39:24 PM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16326304.aspx

Is this the same person?

Same shit, different day.

You disregard our advice and then come crying back to ask us what YOU should do. The ****? You're obviously not happy with this person. Hopefully you find the strength to leave him - and soon. This is a losing battle.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 4
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/2/2015 2:56:11 PM
THe guy doesnt drive himself? How old is he? I would suggest that he is not really into you and you know it. No one is too busy to text you if he is interested, seriously!!!. You are wasting your time and no amount of posting on here will change that.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 5
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/3/2015 6:03:00 AM
If some thing is important to some one they will make time for it , if its not important , they will not make time for it . If I was in a situation where I made time for a woman and she did not reciprocate , I would wish her the best luck and walk away .
 freelychill1
Joined: 12/16/2014
Msg: 6
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/3/2015 9:24:28 AM
He offered to come see me next weekend but i work all weekend. Told him that, and then said that i booked off valentines day but feel like i shouldn't have now since he works the night now. He never replied. I then texted him again saying that this was too hard for me .. maybe not for him.. but it was for me :( He then didn't reply..... Could it be that he was too mad to reply or that he legit didn't care of it ending? When I said it on the phone he was quiet ... but during text, he didn't reply or say anything at all and that was yesterday at 6.. I want a reply but I don't want to be needy and send another text ..Should I still?
 Theophannia
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 7
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/3/2015 10:36:12 AM
I agree with most posters here in saying that if its too emotionally difficult, you should stop waiting for your S/O to do your dirty work and have the balls to be direct and honest and end it. Expecting other people to emotionally fullfill you is going to cause a lot of relationship issues for you, either way. No one here KNOWS if it's his job or if he's lost interest and waiting for you to end it. You need to be direct and deal with this issue with him, difficult or not. It's a part of grow up relationships.

Not trying to be offensive, just "being real" so to speak.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 8
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/3/2015 5:35:10 PM
Kinda think he will make time if sex is on the agenda though, right???. What is wrong with making a voice call when he is on break or has finished work? All this texting is so robotic. Don't send another text. It is better to be alone than to chase someone who is just not that into you and plays the silence game and sulks. Move on.
 PraxisLiving
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 9
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History
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/3/2015 7:06:37 PM
All decisions are selfish as they are made within the individual making them. Therefore, if you decide to stay involved, you're being selfish. if you decide to move on, you're being selfish. I wouldn't concern yourself with being selfish, it's impossible NOT to be. Just embrace it.

From what you're sharing, you need to decide whether your situation works for you or whether it doesn't. No one but yourself can make that decision.
 freelychill1
Joined: 12/16/2014
Msg: 10
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/4/2015 9:13:15 AM
Texted him last night i said if he could atleast say something ... that i wanted him to respect my decision and understand where im coming from with it. to please understand... and he never replied. A month ago, i ended it because of lack of effort he put in and he never replied to my message either but two days later he just decided to text me and make a convo and thats when we started talking again and getting back together. he said he was too mad when i sent the text to reply and didn't want to say something and regret it. Is that maybe the case again?
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 11
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/4/2015 9:26:04 AM
I don't understand the point of asking for advice like this -

Anyone could tell you the right thing to do - you end it, focus on something more practical. I mean I feel sorry for his Dad. What will you do despite the advice? I assume that will be the combination of your agreeing to date each other over the length of time it takes .

Or the simple answer is - till one of you get tired of it.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 12
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/4/2015 2:06:33 PM

Texted him last night i said if he could atleast say something ... that i wanted him to respect my decision and understand where im coming from with it. to please understand... and he never replied. A month ago, i ended it because of lack of effort he put in and he never replied to my message either but two days later he just decided to text me and make a convo and thats when we started talking again and getting back together. he said he was too mad when i sent the text to reply and didn't want to say something and regret it. Is that maybe the case again?


What are you doing?? What’s he got to be “mad” about? You expressing your feelings shouldn’t make him mad. Unless of course you’re going on and on, chewing him out… what would he have to be mad about?

You’re just playing games and he knows it. You don’t mean anything you say to him, so he’s just waiting for this to blow over like last time, and he’ll start texting again and you’ll think that means you’re “back together,” then you’ll have sex with him and then he’ll go back to whoever he will be spending Valentine’s Day with, because you know he’s spending it with some chick, and you know that chick isn’t YOU.

Just to be mean, you should blow up his phone on Valentine’s Day night, when he’s with her, or call him and freak out on him. Even better, if you can find out where he’s taking her, show up with a pillow stuffed under your shirt and pretend you’re his pregnant wife. :D Pay a few kids to go in with you and get them to say, “Come home, Daddy, come home!” That would teach him. Then after she storms off into the sunset, you can tell him how much you love him and all that. :D
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 13
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Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/7/2015 9:16:20 AM
Wow, haven't said this in a while, but HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. You are an occasional convenience, not a girlfriend.

What the F*ck do you care if he is "mad?" Why on earth do you need to hear back from him?

Stand up for yourself! Act like an adult and walk away, confident you just recognized his b/s for what it is. Take pride in taking care of yourself and in not being a doormat for him.

Then get off OLD sites, learn about self-esteem, develop some, and don't start back again until you are too in love with YOURSELF to put up with crap treatment again. That's how you will find a guy who really cares about you--he'll be as thoughtful of you as you are to yourself, and you will be as thoughtful of him. None of this "use me b/c I don't deserve any better" bull.
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 14
Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?
Posted: 2/23/2017 6:53:24 PM
Thread is two. freakin'. years. old.

I get reviving old threads if there's something new to add or discuss, but lame comments are not the way to do it.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it selfish to break up because we're too busy to see or talk to each other?