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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Time Length During Chats?      Home login  
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 MetalBrony666
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 1
Time Length During Chats?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've noticed these lengths in time between the conversations me and the guy I am getting to know and have gone on 1 date with is going.

For example today we started talking at 12PM until 2PM and then not again until 5PM, then not until 7:30PM, 9PM and then 9:30PM.

I know people are busy with daily activities etc. But with these time lengths of regular chatter do you think this guy is just busy or are these time lengths due to him not being interested anymore?
 another_nail_in_my_heart
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 2
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/8/2015 11:37:41 PM
You talked with him five times today. Do you really think if he wasn't interested he'd talk with you that many times? Until you learn his schedule you have no way of knowing when he is available to talk.

I just looked at your other thread. Ask him out and you'll discover if he's interested
 MetalBrony666
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 3
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/8/2015 11:48:17 PM
But isn't having the girl to always ask the guy a bad thing? And or showing that only she is interested?
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 4
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 12:00:33 AM
It's Sunday. He might have to go to work in the AM and needed to go to bed.

I wouldn't read too far into it. You guys were messaging pretty much all day, so just give him his space.

If you think you're being too needy, wait for him to initiate the conversation and go from there. If he still messages you a lot, then there is still interest...if he stops (for a few days), then it might be time to move on.
 another_nail_in_my_heart
Joined: 1/21/2015
Msg: 5
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 12:02:46 AM
No it's not always a bad thing. Don't ask him out on a date if that's how you feel. Ask him out for coffee, drink or something simple. You should consider he may be too shy to ask you out again.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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History
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 1:04:32 AM
I'm pretty sure there are things he may want to do between chats like eat, shower, drop a deuce, go shopping, watch some TV...etc. He does have have a life to live and its not to live to chat every waking hour he has.


vvvvv Love your response VK!
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 7
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 1:07:57 AM
Is this a joke post?

You talked to him FIVE times in a day, once for two hours straight. How much more interest does a guy have to show, short of him climbing into a baby sling so you can carry him around with you all day? Yeesh. I can't imagine what you will be expecting if the guy gets closer to you. A chip implant perhaps, so you can radio him 24/7?

"drop a deuce" hehehehe
 WhoamI_46
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 8
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 1:47:59 AM
I would be more worried that you have the need to talk to him that much during the day. you have only gone on 1 date with him?

What is wrong with having one conversation that day until you hear from him again? I personally would be annoyed to have to stop living my daily life to have to talk to someone that much. Give him some space , as that is part of getting to know him as well.

Good luck.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 9
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 4:19:36 AM
???

OP -- I don't understand? This is regular contact between somebody with whom you just met?! Some people don't communicate regularly, even if they're dating. Heck, my partner and I don't speak for that much time when we're apart, because of our respective work and familial responsibilities. I experience sensory overload and this requires me to have at least an hour or two, by myself, to rest -- I don't want to be keeping tabs on S.O. when I'm to relax to decompress (I never do, anyway). I've been with my partner at his loving and safe home, the past couple of days and will remain so for the duration of our Nor'Easter and we don't talk if he's asleep and I'm cooking or I'm on here to read posts and he's watching a program on television.)

If you're demanding more than that, then you're being unrealistic. Don't you have work or other responsibilities that keep you away from communicating with anybody? Shouldn't he?
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 10
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Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 5:17:45 AM
You sound like someone who is clingy and immature. You spoke to a grown man (who I assume has a life and many responsibilities) for TWO HOURS STRAIGHT, and then a few more times within the same day...and you question things...plus I'm assuming this has happened AFTER he's met you?!

Most people who are actual couples who are not living together do not even speak that long daily on the phone on a daily basis. Even when I'm dating someone, we only tend to see each other 2 or 3 times a week and chat on the phone a few times a week...

Instead, why not initiate a 2nd date (nothing wrong with a woman doing this) so you two can spend more time face-to-face and determine if these 2 hour telephone calls are worth it?
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 11
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History
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 5:47:58 AM
If I had only one date with a woman and she suddenly decides to chat with me (for 2 hours) at least five times a day, I'd go crazy...and then block her.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 12
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 6:39:47 AM
Play Misty for Me baby ....
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 7:09:18 AM
I didn't even know where my phone was for the last 24 hours *shrug*

Needy and clingy are the understatement of the year. Settle down for gosh sakes.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 14
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 7:21:48 AM
OP, it appears to me you're quite unused to setting boundaries for yourself and others. I don't understand this deficiency in yur dating life -- maybe not enough experience?

If anything, you should question the legitimacy of your interest; are you interesting in him or clinging to dear life for a connection? I can asssure you that this is a train smash to which you're heading if you don't brake those insecurities.

All of my best
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 15
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 7:59:01 AM
What do you mean by "conversations"? Young people kill me, calling texting a conversation. Do you mean:

Phone conversations;
Texting;
Email;
Skype; or
Instant messages?

What do you want, his undivided attention? Don't be so demanding.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 16
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 10:04:21 AM
The time frame has little or nothing to do with showing interest. Granted, it's important that they came back for multiple conversations, but what's important is the CONTENT of what gets discussed.

If your conversations are hopelessly one-sided, with you asking all the questions and them only answering and not reciprocating with questions of their own, it's a fail, plain and simple. People that are truly interested will both listen and pay attention to answers - AND will show their interest by asking more of their own. Be careful that you're not hijacking the conversation by not allowing them time to reply as well.

It shouldn't take much more than a handful of sentences to get the hint they are actively part of the conversation or are just playing along. Putting them on the spot and requiring action or a decision about a date will make them confirm their attention - or disappear. Either way, after a DAY of chatting, you should already know where they are at. You're bad for not asking.
 MetalBrony666
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 17
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 10:48:47 AM
We chat using that Skype messenger, so he uses the APP on his phone since his internet isn't that great. But here's how a conversation will go as an example...

12PM Him: Good afternoon
12PM Me: Hello
1:15PM Him: How are you?
1:30PM Me: I am fine and how are you?
4PM Him: I am alright, what are you up too?
4:15PM Me: I have been busy and you?
7:30PM Him: (He doesn't disclose what he is up too). (He doesn't talk to me again until like midnight or 1AM.

So thats how we chat where there's a long time length between messages and that bothers me. It makes me think he isn't interested.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 18
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 11:13:49 AM
????Time length????

^^^^^^^^^ I read you loud and clear, Literate Hiker, Sweet Danimal, (and eric if you are in this thread, LOL)
OP, I do not see a problem with the LENGTH of your communication. I see a problem with HOW you communicate.
I highly suggest you TALK, using the vocal cords, and please have more to say then just the above. Sheesh! JMHO!

I can see why you think someone is not interested. With this ^^^^^^kind of connection, no one is REALLY interested!
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 19
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 11:20:06 AM
MetalBrony666...my suggestion is to embrace using the telephone (using your voice) and live interactions.
This will help "personalize" your communication, give it depth, and you'll cover more in a 10-minute chat than in a 10-hour texting session. You will obtain a better feel for if you like each other.

This past weekend I was snowshoeing in deep snow on very steep pitches for twenty-two miles. If the cellphone in my pocket was chiming endlessly the whole time...it would seriously drive me bonkers. My sincere advice for you is to move away from the Skype/texting/SnapChat technology and you will almost certainly find a greater level of comfort.

Good luck! :-)

EDIT TO ADD:
LadyInRed4755...we were being telepathic and posting almost simultaneously!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 20
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 3:28:53 PM

But isn't having the girl to always ask the guy a bad thing? And or showing that only she is interested?


Asking him if he’d like to see you again is not “always” asking him. It’s asking him once. If he asks you does that show that only he is interested?

Besides, after this riveting dialog:


12PM Him: Good afternoon
12PM Me: Hello
1:15PM Him: How are you?
1:30PM Me: I am fine and how are you?
4PM Him: I am alright, what are you up too?
4:15PM Me: I have been busy and you?
7:30PM Him: (He doesn't disclose what he is up too). (He doesn't talk to me again until like midnight or 1AM.


it might be a good idea to actually SAY something.

Btw…..he asked “what are you up too (sic)” and all you said was “I have been busy…” so why did you have to note that he didn’t disclose what he’s doing? You didn’t disclose what you were doing either, so what’s up with that?

Were you thinking people might say, “Uh oh….he’s HIDING SOMETHING!” I mean I don’t blame you because that conversation is zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. He’s probably wondering if you are interested in him.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 21
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 4:13:23 PM
If he were not interested he would not be talking to you at all. If you get too demanding and clingy, he will disappear for sure. However do suggest a drink or something somewhere if you are really interested in him.

He may be setting up dates with other women which he is entitled to do. You have met him once. Unless you are madly in love I would suggest you keep your options open.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 22
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 7:27:58 PM
I suggest you talk about something a tad more substantial. "How are you?" is not riveting conversation anyone is eager to reply to. It is what I ask of the cashier as they make my change. When talking to this guy, be forthcoming with information and ask questions. Instead of "I am fine", share some details. "Enjoying this beautiful weather. I can't believe it is 60 degrees in the middle of winter. Have you had a chance to go outside today?" or "About to do laundry. I didn't realize I was out of detergent until my clothes were already in the washer." or just SOMETHING beyond the most general of pleasantries. You can generate a conversation, but it takes more than "I am fine. How are you?"

Skype is also a video chatting service. I suggest you use that feature. If he has the app, he probably has a camera on his phone.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 23
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/9/2015 11:44:35 PM
OP, you need to clarify. I saw your example chat one-liners, but your OP said:

For example today we started talking at 12PM until 2PM and then not again until 5PM, then not until 7:30PM, 9PM and then 9:30PM.

What this sentence says is that you chatted from 12PM *to* 2PM -- which means you bantered back and forth, at least semi-frequently for 2 hours. Is that correct?

Or did you just have one-liner exchanges at 12, 2, 5, 7:30, 9, 9:30, with those pauses in-between of him having to reply? If so, he's not in the texting mood/situation. Which isn't a crazy thing on a particular day when there's nothing to talk about and they're caught up in something. But if that becomes Norm -- yeah, he's not interested.
 MetalBrony666
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 24
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/10/2015 12:40:34 AM
From 12 to 2 it was again the brief chats of messages happening like 12 then 12:30 then 1:15 and 1:45 and 2:00. Get it?

And I did ask him out for Valentines Day he says he's never been out for VDay.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 25
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History
Time Length During Chats?
Posted: 2/10/2015 12:48:32 AM
OP...

And I did ask him out for Valentines Day he says he's never been out for VDay.



At this rate of conversation, you may talk him into going out for Valentine's Day 2016!
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