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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 1
Nearing 40yrs not 1 RelationshipPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hi Guys and Girls wondering if can get to 40 yrs. old without even having 1 Relationship ..Doesn't seem all that hard to do ..I must be pretty good at this ..hehe
Does anyone happen to know if there is a world record already set??
Anyone think they can out do me??
Trying to turn what some might see as a negative into a positive .!!!!
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 2
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 11:02:53 PM
Have you been actively avoiding relationships? o.o

Well I hope I don't out do you.


Trying to turn what some might see as a negative into a positive .!!!!

haha nice :D
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 3
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 11:16:55 PM
No !!! Its just Relationships have been actively avoiding me hehehe lol..
 matthew83co
Joined: 2/11/2015
Msg: 4
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 11:21:19 PM
I'm sorry to say this to you, but that reads off and smells like the largest pile of bullshit...
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 5
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/21/2015 11:41:28 PM

I'm sorry to say this to you, but that reads off and smells like the largest pile of bullshit...

No need to be rude
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 6
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 1:19:16 AM
There’s a guy on here who has you beat; never even a first date and he is older than you.

What is good about not being able to relate to another? Get some counseling as life is passing you by.


.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 7
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History
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 4:39:57 AM
I am not going to get all up in your business, but it does seem odd that someone your age has not had at least one relationship. Most people have had some sort of childhood relationship at least.

As someone else mentioned, maybe you should try counseling to see why. It is not as if you are hideous or grossly obese.

As for outdoing him Aradia, did you fall and crack your head and get amnesia? Every thread you start, you like to mention your six year relationship, so I think he has you beat.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 8
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Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 8:01:11 AM
Definitely get some counseling--there are reasons you don't connect and you can work on those. Remember there are others with similar life challenges, and some of them choose to get help, too.

The two things that will not help are becoming angry or becoming resigned. Hope and optimism are attractive qualities, and you will always feel better, live a fuller life, and be happier, whether or not you end up where you think you want to be.

Take joy in all the little things if you do not already. People just do not stop to realize how profound the advice is, "Stop to smell the roses." Stop to admire the color of dandelions, too (before you destroy them, of course). Our world is full of so much color and life--make yourself notice until it becomes a habit. Teach yourself. Grow.

Again, there is no way that is a losing prescription--unless you choose to do these things only "if they lead to a relationship." Do them for their own sake because that is where the joy lies.

Good luck!
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 9
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 10:54:12 AM
Come back when you have a specific question in a situation, not a generalized "steer my life for me" whine, as self pity/ billboarding isn't allowed.

What have you actually DONE to improve the situation you complain of( though guys who complain vs doing anything differently typically think they should NEVER change or it's artificial, shallow, and unnatural to do so, and demand to be taken "as is" no matter how that isn't flying), why should anybody pick you for a ltr, what is attractive about you interpersonally(obviously you have to try displaying these in real life), and are you only willing to date certain types(really high standards)?

It isn't the average looks or lifestyle, income as much as personality, your attitude, and self absorption.
It usually is an unattractive personality derailing you, as men seem " interested" based off looks, but women looking for a ltr, cannot have it with a guy begging for pity/ panhandling for attention, acting helpless , in need of rescue, reassurance they are attractive, don't take responsibility, moan and groan. Taking responsibility means not acting like a victim of fate.

Your poor me stuff, generally acting helpless and incapable, seeking pity, doesn't translate to anything but repulsion, maybe pity, but pity means they will never take you seriously, and will look down at you.

Nobody is going to start hitting on you or talking to you. You have to do it. Men who refuse to pursue are doing all the nice guy threads. Nice guys never seem to have any character or drive outside of wanting credit for existing.

If you don't change yourself, or try to connect with others, then that's your life, no matter how interminably it goes on.
Same for all of us. Unlike you, we aren't thinking we deserve pity, or our situation is more important.

What have you actually done the last 20 years?That is why you are here. If you do the same thing, expect the same, at every age.

The point isn't that the outcome of your efforts to challenge yourself and improve yourself translates to rewards, it should be its own reward, not to get women.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 10
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Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 3:58:37 PM
Are you saying you’ve gone on dates and none of them turned into relationships, or are you saying you’ve had no dates? Because those are two very different scenarios.

If it’s the former, then perhaps you need to give some thought as to whether or not you are commitment-phobic. Or possibly, what are you doing on dates that make women not want to commit to you? Or perhaps even consider the possibility that you HAVE been in relationships with some of the women you have dated multiple times and either did not realize it or did not acknowledge it. The last one may seem farfetched, but that definitely happened to me... possibly more than once.

If it is the latter scenario... then I don’t know what to tell you. Your profile, appearance and statistics would suggest you’re a pretty “average” male and just by random chance you should have stumbled into a relationship or two over the past 25 years. If this is the case, then I’m just going to have to ask: what the hell is going on in Wales? The “above average” guy with similar issues who started the “are women too fussy” thread is also from Wales. Maybe Welsh women ARE too fussy. Or maybe Welsh men are too thick. Regardless, there is no way on earth guys like you two should be having the same problems that I have. I mean, it’s pretty obvious why I go years between dates, but if you’ve been dateless all this time, then that does not compute. Even self-sabotage doesn’t explain it, as there are apparently some females that just shrug at self-sabotage.
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 11
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/22/2015 10:08:37 PM
Ok i am not from Wales, I am not Welsh...Its N.S.W ...New South Wales... Australia !!!!
Yea I would say I am just the average guy, Not that there is anything wrong with that..!
But I could count all the dates I have had on 1 hand...
I had my first date when I was roughly 27 yrs old...
Had mates try to pair me up,, blind dates and all ,but when it came to a actual physical meeting.. The other side suddenly got cold feet !!! Who Knows ?? Maybe someone showed her a pic of me.. Caught my ugly side instead of my pretty side hahaha..

My opening Statement reflected was just trying to make light of the current situation..
Don't see anything wrong in being able to laugh at yourself now and then...
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 12
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:05:56 AM
Baffalobill lives up the road from me.

In AUSTRALIA!!!!

You know.
The place with all the beaches and shrimps (that are really prawns) on the barbie.
 Aradia96
Joined: 10/25/2014
Msg: 13
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 3:53:29 AM
OH Wow OP, you live in NSW Australia, me too!!

 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 14
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 11:25:14 AM
I can tell you this... If you have a profile bragging of international travel and jet boating, you'd do yourself a huge favor and post pictures proving it. Otherwise you sound like a liar trying to puff up their profile beyond what they have actually done.
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 15
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 12:20:07 PM
Ha HA I have done plenty more but I don't have to justify it with pics. I play in a band and have played gigs but I don't have any pics of that either ...What now!! I really don't play in a band ???
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 16
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 1:12:21 PM

In AUSTRALIA!!!!

You know.
The place with all the beaches and shrimps (that are really prawns) on the barbie.


And bears that are not really bears.

"I hate Qantas".
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 17
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2015 5:58:47 PM
The screen name might help you reach 40 without a consenting relationship.

They might think you have Asian moths and lotion.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 18
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Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 8:19:48 AM
Baffalobill...
Anyone think they can out do me??


Yeah, my older brother can. He is 53 (turning 54 in July) and he has never been with a woman (dating, sex, or relationship).

Feel better now?
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 19
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 11:33:09 AM

Yeah, my older brother can. He is 53 (turning 54 in July) and he has never been with a woman (dating, sex, or relationship).




Might want to bring him with you to the strip joints?
Wait
......could he handle it?? :O
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 20
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 12:03:43 PM
Op, have you considered that maybe you just arent interested in or attracted to women at all?
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 21
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 9:01:24 PM
I suggest you see a counselor. My first thought was you may have Asperger's Syndrome. People with Asperger's Syndrome have trouble connecting with people. Also your job as a forklift driver is isolating.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 22
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 9:22:31 PM
OP, my brother was like you. Had a brief one year relationship at about 40 and then nothing. He met a nice woman when he was 55 and they are happily married. My brother is an architect and like you, has many interests and is world travelled. And no, he didn't have Aspergers (who makes guesses like this without a medical degree?) and there is not a damn thing wrong with your occupation or interests.
 Baffalobill
Joined: 6/18/2014
Msg: 23
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 9:54:36 PM
Op, have you considered that maybe you just arent interested in or attracted to women at all?


I would say I am extremely attracted to women mentally and physically ...But seems i can only speak to them on general matters ..Have trouble going further...get extremely nervy and flustered ..

Maybe deep down i know I don't have much to offer and that's why I don't bother, And realise you must have the X factor if you are going to succeed...Which I lack...

My real concern is even if i managed to get a date !!!
How do i explain to her a life without any relationship status ???
Oh i've got it !!! Maybe the answer is Monk !!!!! heheh..


No i think i am just immune to it all....
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 24
Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/24/2015 10:07:36 PM

Hi Guys and Girls wondering if can get to 40 yrs. old without even having 1 Relationship


You can do it.
I know you can.
I have confidence in you.


Doesn't seem all that hard to do


It really isn't.
Don't smile at women.
Don't flirt with women.
Don't show any interest in women.
It all falls into place.
Women don't come knocking on YOUR door unless they are Avon ladies or Jehovah's Witnesses.

Now, get out there and repel those women! :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 25
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Nearing 40yrs not 1 Relationship
Posted: 2/25/2015 7:49:49 AM
CharminC
Might want to bring him with you to the strip joints? 
Wait
......could he handle it?? :O


No! He would be traumatized for life.

The hormones skipped him and I got a double dose.

Maybe my username should be horndog65.
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