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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?      Home login  
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 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 1
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
For those that opt to do meet and greet type of meetings, how many have you set up in one day? I'm not big on coffee, but it seems like so many people want to meet for coffee or a beverage. I met someone from the site that said his last date the women set up 3 dates in one day, so I know it happens. In that situation, she was running late trying to do multiple meet and greets and I tend to wonder how successful those individuals are in the quality of the outcome? If any of their meetings turn into anything more than just a meet?
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 2
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/8/2015 9:36:06 PM
In the past I met up to four men per week.
A few times I met two different men on the same day.

It was too much for me.
I couldn't keep them straight, or who said what.
It was all a blur. I don't remember any of their names.

So I slowed down that freight train and became wiser.
I decided to give men more of a chance, after they met my initial screening.
Now I focus on one man at a time.

Focusing on one man at a time produced better results.
Several became lasting relationships.
 rwable032
Joined: 1/23/2015
Msg: 3
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/8/2015 9:36:42 PM
I wouldn't go looking for it but if you have some comfort room in time and place, sure. IMHO if you can still give each your undivided attention so you don't miss any good or not so good clues, and give the dates a fair shake, you're good.

I had a wedding to attend 3 hours drive from home and a lady from online lived in that town so I figured in the time between the service and the reception I would whip into town and have a drink with her. The strange thing is a bride's maid was flirting with me so I wanted to get back to the reception pretty soon, LOL. And then with these two same women by coincidence, I ended up seeing both of them on the same Saturday weeks later in two different towns; not the town of the wedding. Yup, I drive a lot. Neither one worked out, no worries.

Most recently I had a lady who came to me for a change, but looking nothing like her photos. False advertising big time. Meanwhile another local lady agreed to a coffee date that evening close by and we'd been exchanging online incessantly for a week so again, two meets in one day. The second lady and I really hit it off and we had a great but unexpectedly brief time together.

Anyway, be resourceful if the opportunity comes up.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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History
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/8/2015 10:02:25 PM
Literate points out the main danger in over thinking, as well as over scheduling meets.

If you are thinking about meetups as "processing potential dates/mates," there is a real danger that you are going to arrange in your mind, that these are not real people. They are just animated profiles.

Same danger with working out too many detailed checklists, red flag lists, and so on. Without realizing it, you are likely to slip into a mode where you are meeting to establish which defect to categorize each person under, rather than to find out who they are.

Plus the most important thing: you need to schedule time to meet WITH YOURSELF afterwards, to deal with what you experienced.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 5
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/8/2015 10:13:21 PM
Like Literate Hiker I have at times 'met' 4 or more men a week sometimes 2 in a day.

I have tried 'screening' more prior to a meet.
Meeting almost straight away.

Have met lots of people I would otherwise never have come across in every day life.
Learned heaps.

For me it has not made much difference.
I will say that if the typing continues without a meet for more than a couple of weeks, more than likely you will never meet.

For me a first meet is to ascertain if I would like to see him again.
I ask myself.
1. Do I enjoy his company?
2. Could I kiss him?
3. Could I make love with him?

If the answer to these are yes.... organise a second meet / date.
If no... to 2 or 3 but 1 is a giant YES still have a second meet as he may grow on you.

If a big NO to everything. Be polite.
They are all real people and deserve respect.
So even if you are not a match and this becomes obvious within seconds please be polite.

Taking 30 minutes to share a cuppa and be charming never hurt anyone.


If I get to having a second or third date I stop other first meets to see how things go with this man.
Who knows it may be magic.




Note:

I took a look at your profile and you a beautiful woman - (she mutters with jealousy lol)
Which means that many men will only look at your photos and want to meet.

Nice men will look at your pictures then read all the negativity in your profile and may choose to skip to the next woman.

Writing all those 'go away' lines only repels the nice men.
The louses do not read that far or consider it a challenge.

Also you say you want to date but nothing serious and are seeking friends.
To the louses on here that means when you meet you will have sex with them in the carpark.
Or they come straight to your house and forget about the coffee.

 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 6
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 5:38:31 AM
You could meet one for breakfast/coffee.

Another for lunch, or coffee in the afternoon, then dinner, plus an evening coffee ..you could easily meet 3 on a day and maybe even 5...
 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 7
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:19:56 AM

Focusing on one man at a time produced better results.
Several became lasting relationships.


That is how I tend to operate, focusing on getting to know one man at a time. I have done the dating thing with multiple men, but back prior to online dating becoming the norm. It was solely that for me just dating and assessing compatibility with no sex or intimacy in the mix.

I was honest with each man, so there was no confusion, but I felt like you, it was a blur. I didn't do multiple dates in the same day, but in a week I would go on at least 3 dates and it was exhausting. Constantly having to primp, prime and prepare to go out.

I don't recall it resulting in a meaningful relationship either, but at that point in my life I was not ready for anything, so it fit it's purpose. I just wonder about the individuals that have found "the one" in the midst of multiple "meet and greets" and multiple dates in one day, if any of them have found success.
 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 8
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:36:20 AM

I took a look at your profile and you a beautiful woman - (she mutters with jealousy lol)
Which means that many men will only look at your photos and want to meet.

Nice men will look at your pictures then read all the negativity in your profile and may choose to skip to the next woman.

Writing all those 'go away' lines only repels the nice men.
The louses do not read that far or consider it a challenge.

Also you say you want to date but nothing serious and are seeking friends.
To the louses on here that means when you meet you will have sex with them in the carpark.
Or they come straight to your house and forget about the coffee.


Most men online generally peruse photos and the small percentage that do opt to send a message only do so after focusing on photos. It's sad, but I find it's true that most people focus on appearance and that is IRL as well. Society overall is very appearance focused. Thank you, you're too kind.

I don't know if that includes all nice men as far as opting to skip to the next, but those that won't be up to the feat of getting to know me for more than being a one dimensional woman, but rather one that is expressive and will be truthful with them. I have encountered quite a few nice men that read through my profile and found it hilarious, appreciated my sense of humor. I opted to try to keep it light and the few stiff men that wanted me to be a "yes" girl and reconstruct my wording to fit their ideal criteria would never be compatible with me.

I don't have a bunch of "go away" lines. lol. I kept my profile brief, but I was clear with the men that are married that I will not entertain their shenanigans and for the most part it has worked. Prior to listing that I had a few married men try to contact me and one was angry that I would not oblige "going out with him". Blocked him, he made another profile.

I expounded on my reasons behind listing friends. I am not opposed to cultivating a genuine relationship, but I want something that is organic and not orchestrated based on someone else's agenda. I'd prefer that it grow and be mutual. I have only met a handful of men, but I stick to my instincts and it has only been in public dating situations. I would never invite a stranger to my home, ever and random sex is totally out of the question. Hence the reason for my #1, way too many are way too casual, but that's just my opinion on that.
 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 9
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:44:26 AM

You could meet one for breakfast/coffee.

Another for lunch, or coffee in the afternoon, then dinner, plus an evening coffee ..you could easily meet 3 on a day and maybe even 5...


At one point in my life prior to online dating being the norm, I did something like this, but it was actual dates, but one per that allotted day. It was quantity, although they were quality men, but at the time I was not ready to be in a relationship, so it fit it's purpose.

At this point in my life I can not see it equating to much more than quantity and (for me) I don't want to meet a bunch of men that I would have to entrust with exchanging my personal information with. I use a google voice number, but even still I personally don't want quantity.

I just wonder about those that do and if it works for them. Based on the conversation with the guy that I met regarding the lady from this site that went on the 3 dates with him being the last one that is what she does. He said he was not bothered at the time because he opted to meet her at a place where him and his friends were hanging out.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 10
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:49:13 AM
My earlier experience is very much like that of what Literate_Hiker and OZsealady1 shared above.
I was going on many first meet and greets because, paradoxically, I did not wish to attend so many.
Should I find myself single in the future I would likely "cap" dating at one per week to allow processing in my mind.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 11
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 6:50:58 AM
I think this goes towards lowering one's standards for an initial meet.

I think multiple meets in one day causes people to lower their standards on who they are willing to meet with. Like, why not meet, it's only 1/2 hour, I am meeting others, let's see what this person is like? You have your doubts, but it's just a meet.

If you meet less frequently, you vet each meeting against others, resulting in higher quality first meets.

This is mostly a women/s problem, most men seldom get the option of having too many requests / options to meet.

For myself, I generally only wanted to meet 1 woman a week. (assuming I had the option of meeting many, sometime I did have that option, often it wasn't an option).

One a week gives room for the meet to develop in to a all day long date, over night date, multiple day meet, etc. If it doesn't, no harm, there is another week.

The only time I have actually met more than 1 woman is a day is it I had meet that turned into a multiple day affair that ran into the next week. Then I have taken a break to meet with someone else.

For me as least, meeting with someone else gave me more perspective on the first affair, how much was it just animal lust Vs true emotional connection? Having to focus on someone else was beneficial to me.

It was easy to keep the personalities and details of each women separate in my mind if they were spaced out on a weekly or longer basis.

I likely would get confused by meeting more than 1/2 new women in a single day.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 12
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 7:00:50 AM
I had 2 first dates / meetings in the same day only once. I had lunch with a woman at noon and drinks with another woman at 8pm. That was only because 1 woman had to reschedule and it was the only mutual free time we had. Otherwise I would not have multiple dates / meetings on the same day.

There have been multiple times when I had a date with a woman on a given day and another date with a different woman 1-2 days later. I don't like putting all of my eggs in 1 basket in the initial stages. In particular with online dating.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 7:38:15 AM
A gentleman I meet had it down to an art...
On his day off he would list dates in 15 min intervals and the ones he liked most would get the last date, just in case it went longer.
Me I'm lucky if I do one a year...
I couldn't do more than one in a day...too shy!
 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 14
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 8:50:54 AM

A gentleman I meet had it down to an art...
On his day off he would list dates in 15 min intervals and the ones he liked most would get the last date, just in case it went longer.


That sounds like a cattle herding. I can't see some feeling comfortable feeling they're auditioning for someone, but I guess it works for him. I just wonder if he ever caught it in return and ended up being someone auditioning for someone he was interested in that he choose as his last date.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 15
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History
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:29:09 AM
It didn't work...he told me the one he did fall for was though a POF get together.
At least POF worked...I guess that really is the bottom line. If it works great, it's just not for me.

The "Get togethers" seem to be a way to go...less pressure.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 16
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:43:11 AM
Personally, I've never met 3-5 in one day but many years ago when I was on MATCH 5 in a weekend. (Fri nite thru Sunday)

But ostensibly you COULD meet 5 in a day, even 3, that way, you are dressed, "primped" as you said, & have the day devoted to meeting different men.

It's like if you were at a party w/ a bunch of single men & spoke to 3 different men during the party.

I agree w/ the majority of people who focus on one at a time.

However, if I ever did OLD again (currently in a relationship) I'd change my M.O.

I think too many people settle too easily.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 17
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 10:29:07 AM
Im lucky if I get one meet every other year.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 18
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 11:15:49 AM

For those that opt to do meet and greet type of meetings, how many have you set up in one day? I'm not big on coffee, but it seems like so many people want to meet for coffee or a beverage. I met someone from the site that said his last date the women set up 3 dates in one day, so I know it happens. In that situation, she was running late trying to do multiple meet and greets and I tend to wonder how successful those individuals are in the quality of the outcome? If any of their meetings turn into anything more than just a meet?


The reason why some people operate this way is due to the rampant gross misrepresentation in OLD by BOTH genders


In the past I met up to four men per week.
A few times I met two different men on the same day.

It was too much for me.
I couldn't keep them straight, or who said what.
It was all a blur. I don't remember any of their names.

So I slowed down that freight train and became wiser.
I decided to give men more of a chance, after they met my initial screening.
Now I focus on one man at a time.

Focusing on one man at a time produced better results.
Several became lasting relationships.


In the past I did that & in retrospect, I think I should have done circular dating back then.

Op is very young (compared to me, LoL) & she prob COULD do circular dating w/ much more ease.


Most recently I had a lady who came to me for a change, but looking nothing like her photos. False advertising big time. Meanwhile another local lady agreed to a coffee date that evening close by and we'd been exchanging online incessantly for a week so again, two meets in one day. The second lady and I really hit it off and we had a great but unexpectedly brief time together.

Anyway, be resourceful if the opportunity comes up.


Exactly what I was referring to.
An archaic saying: "Don't put all of your eggs in one basket"


Plus the most important thing: you need to schedule time to meet WITH YOURSELF afterwards, to deal with what you experienced.

I agree w/ this as well.


I will say that if the typing continues without a meet for more than a couple of weeks, more than likely you will never meet.

Agreed, we've all heard tales of folks who emailed, texted, talked on the phone, even made plans to meet, some involving travel/distance & then one flakes on the other! What gives?

By nipping it in the bud, you don't give yourself the opportunity to be played.



It's sad, but I find it's true that most people focus on appearance and that is IRL as well. Society overall is very appearance focused.


This is true & even happens in the animal kingdom. Mate selection. A lion looks at lionesses, for instance & assesses her via her fur (sign of health & even age) & her agility.

The peacock w/ the best plumage gets the most mates.

As long as we understand while the look may get us in the door, it is the behavior of the person that is either the GLUE THAT BINDS OR THE POISON THAT REPELS.


I expounded on my reasons behind listing friends. I am not opposed to cultivating a genuine relationship, but I want something that is organic and not orchestrated based on someone else's agenda. I'd prefer that it grow and be mutual. I have only met a handful of men, but I stick to my instincts and it has only been in public dating situations. I would never invite a stranger to my home, ever and random sex is totally out of the question. Hence the reason for my #1, way too many are way too casual, but that's just my opinion on that.


This sounds intelligent plus you have healthy boundaries. A man w/ good character will recognize & respect that. You don't want to attract a man who places no value on integrity bec. he himself has no integrity.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 19
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 11:27:39 AM
I don't do meet and greets, I do full-on dates, the kind that take at least 2 hours to get through as they are mostly dinner dates, museum strolls, appetizers and drinks, etc.

If I were to do meet and greets, I don't think I'd do more than one a day, or more than 3 a week. As for dates, I've done a maximum of 5 in a week, this was back when I was dating for the sake of the experience, not for the purpose of finding a match. Nowadays, I've slowed my roll by a lot, I've only accepted one date this year, and we're already a quarter into the year.

Due to time constraints and my lack of interest in the process, I may begin to do short little meet and greets, ask for separate checks, and get out. One or two a week seems reasonable and palatable.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 20
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 2:39:48 PM
I have
quoted your go away lines




Let's try something new, since some peruse profiles, mainly stare at pics and anything that is over 100+ characters they become aliterate (yes, it is a word, look it up. No, I don't mean illiterate either).



1. Let me preface this to say I am not open to any type of sexual hook up, "friends with benefits", etc. Keep your cooties to yourself.


2. I'm an.old school girl living in an over texting world.. I prefer cultivating real connections based on more than just text, if things progress. I think you can assess a lot based on actually talking instead of texting.

3. I'm not mean, but I am serious in regards to trying to establish friendship first. I think it's fundamental in functional relationships to actually like and have respect for one another and I think that starts with friends first.
It seems so simple, yet so complicated for many.


4. Let me also expound on the listed intent of "wants to date, but nothing serious" and "friendship", There has to be compatibility, chemistry and solid communication. If something is meant, it'll grow into something more. It won't be forced, it'll just flow.

5. I am more than a pretty face and I prefer someone that is too. I am not seeking any type of instantaneous situation, microwaved relationship. I will not rush and if I sense it, I tend to run in the opposite direction.

6. There are tons of catfish online and I've learned how to spot a fake pretty quick. I will say that if there is "mutual interest", I will want to skype with you.


7. Separated means married, which means no, do not enter my inbox. I am not open to correspond with anyone that is involved. Please respect that.


8. Everyone is not compatible. If my seeking friendship first does not align with your true intentions, let's keep it respectful.

9. If you are intelligent, witty, can hold a decent conversation, can make me laugh, are a nerd, into working out, love animals, especially dogs and are legally single, we can talk.

10. If you want to know about me, ask. I purposely did not list specifics about "what I find attractive, etc.", because I think that can be subjective and left up to a conversation. Good luck.


I am sure others could find more
 SandyReader
Joined: 9/24/2014
Msg: 21
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 4:51:11 PM
I usually have just the one meet and greet in a day. I try to avoid coffee meetings, as they seem more like job interviews instead of meeting and spending some time together. I'd rather have several lengthy phone calls and then meet, so that meeting is more relaxed and we can have fun, instead of making it another step in the vetting process.

I've had one "meet and greet" that turned into more...that was in '96, and we ended up married a year later.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 22
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 5:05:04 PM

tend to wonder how successful those individuals are in the quality of the outcome? If any of their meetings turn into anything more than just a meet



I don't know many guys that do this multiple dating thingy, or at least one that will admit it. Us guys have a short attention span, especially if we are out and about, "meeting" women, our lazy boy sits empty, and there is no one to sit, drink beer, burp and fart while we glob down and watch the tube. The stuff that allllllll men are doing, especially after the age of 50..........
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 23
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 5:30:18 PM

Us guys have a short attention span, especially if we are out and about, "meeting" women, our lazy boy sits empty, and there is no one to sit, drink beer, burp and fart while we glob down and watch the tube.

That's hilarious, Walts! What an image. "Drink beer, burp and fart." I'm glad no man has behaved like that in front of me, apart from my father.

At home Dad loved to stroll through the living room in his underpants, rip off a loud fart and say indignantly, "Shirley!" He blamed it on my mother. We kids fell on the floor laughing.

Dad was one of the funniest people I've ever known. He was the life of the party.
 choppermonkie
Joined: 4/26/2014
Msg: 24
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:40:11 PM
I had two first meets on the same day once a few years ago. It ended up that they both had the same first name and both had careers in the same line of work. I think somebody somewhere was trying to give me a sign. Haven't tried it again since and won't.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 25
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 3/9/2015 9:55:35 PM
Ahhh Walts..


Is that the reason many men call all their women the same thing.
e.g.

Hello:

Beautiful,
Lovely lady,
Sunshine,
Darling,
Possum,
Gorgeous

etc etc

Certainly saves overworking the memory.

I have a first meet with a man whose name is the same as one of my nicknames.
If we hit it off could be funny both being called the same thing.


Only one first meet for me this week so far.

He seems nice.
With luck could be my last first meet for a while.

Fingers crossed.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?