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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend wants sex all the time?      Home login  
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 looking4u0123
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 1
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Me and my boyfriend have been dating about 4 months and he has some great qualities except for one thing. He gets REALLY mad if he doesn't get sex everynight.I am diabetic and sometimes if my sugar is too high or low I will fall asleep. He will wake me up and get really mad and start pitching a fit and yelling at me? I have talked to him about this and how its not right and that I really need my sleep because I work a lot and I have a stressfull job. He will get better for a little while and then do it again! I guess the only thing thats kept me in this relationship is that he does have some good qualities. He keeps a super clean house, cooks, affectionate, just a lot of the qualities that I like or look for in someone except for the temper if he doesn't get sex of course. Also he is 46 years old.


Has anyone ever dated a guy that got mad if he didnt get sex everynight? Advice please?
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 2
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:02:28 AM

if I didnt want sex we didnt have it, it didnt bother him at all. If he didnt want it we didnt have it, it never bothered me at all.


To ACCEPT when your partner doesn't want sex like a mature adult is one thing but to not be bothered AT ALL ????

Doesn't sound very passionate , more like apathetic.

But that's just me. I'd rather be with someone whose bones I'm dying to jump 24/7 and vice versa.
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:23:29 AM

He will get better for a little while and then do it again!

you're lucky. you're learning that the person you're with is showing a pattern of inability to respect your wishes. at the four-month mark, you're still in the courtship phase, and this is exactly the kind of discovery that courtship is supposed to reveal, since its role is to determine compatibility or incompatibility over a steadily widening range of personality and lifestyle expressions.

the problem can arise when people who are too emotionally impulsive or inexperienced get too emotionally entangled too soon, before the discovery process has revealed enough basic compatibilities to justify continued involvement. hopefully that's not you.

out of curiosity, do your sugar fluctuations tend to correlate with stress or unpleasant emotions like anxiety or frustration?
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 4
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:24:30 AM
You two just aren't suited to each other. He isn't getting his needs met so he needs to look elsewhere. You may be interested and all but you don't sound like you are physically up to it. You also don't sound too ardent toward him as a person. He merely checks a few boxes on your intake sheet.

If he is still with you even after all of this, then he is likely too passive to bow out himself. I fear that if you don't end it yourself, he may stick around for a good long time and you will both be miserable.
 looking4u0123
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 5
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:36:29 AM
Yes stress, anxiety and frustration can have an affect on my sugar and make them go high.
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 6
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:36:56 AM
Before giving my true opinion about the relationship o his behavior, I would need to know this:

ONE question:
Does he have a STABLE job out of the house? and I mean 8 hours a day 48 hours a week.?


he is 46 years old.He keeps a super clean house, cooks

He seems to have to much energy for a 46 years old man who has a regular stable job outside the house.


He keeps a super clean house, cooks, affectionate, just a lot of the qualities that I like

These "qualities" are accepted ONLY if he has a stable job outside the house.
It is THEN that both are on the SAME level to provide And appreciate these extra qualities so needed in a relationship.


I really need my sleep because I work a lot and I have a stressfull job

He should respect that, and Should have more consideration.
 looking4u0123
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 7
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:44:38 AM
Yes he does have a job outside if the home. He is just very hyper and always full of energy.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 8
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:51:55 AM
I get sex almost every night. But with that said, when my significant other is not in the mood, does not feel right, it's sore, or simply wants to sleep, I oblige without trying to guilt her into having sex.

Sex is and should be a consensual activity, where both enjoy. So your boyfriend IS an abusive person.
So, you need to check two things. One, who did this evolved to this. Most women from the get go set boundaries as to how much sex they like to have. You need to set those boundaries, you need to tell him. Second, if he does not listen, you need to walk out of the relationship. Sex is not about you being his cum dumpster, but to be an active partner. An active partner means that you are enjoying it as well without being forced, begged, or anything like that.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 9
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:52:55 AM
Men that get angry over not getting sex....on any particular reason have issues.
First off....If he can't be understanding or considerate of your feelings at his age, it will create an animosity towards him. You are being coerced into doing something for him to either shut him up or keep him.
This isn't "love and caring"......and just not good in a relationship.
He will use this against you, whenever he does something wrong....you will both end up detesting each other and unhappy.....get out now!
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 10
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 8:59:55 AM
Vicki,

yes it makes sense , kinda figured you didn't mean it the way you wrote it initially.


Bottom line was he was treating me like crap, I didnt want it because of that


A lot of people, probably guys mostly, don't get that the other person didn't lose interest in sex because sex itself became stale to them but because of how their partner treated them.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 11
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:01:39 AM
OP - you have an active profile here mentioning how affection you are - perhaps he read it?
IDK, verbal abuse has never gotten me in the mood
IG - you should have said 5 times a night :p
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 12
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:04:45 AM
OP,Thanks for your answer.
And I congratulate you for having a real nice man in your life.
you must speak with him and compromise three days a week to have sex.Or one on one off.!
Sex is very important for SOME men, so you should take some vitamins or talk with your doctor about this if you feel that you can't have sex 3 times a week.
Some men really NEED that, I think he will understand if you talk to him, and promise to him that you will be "extra NICE" those nights...:)

Yeah, he has good qualities.Take care of your relationship.!
Remember nobody is perfect.

Good luck .

April
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:09:41 AM
Sex is important in any relationship, but to have something that is supposed to bring you closer causing you this much stress and anxiety means you are not compatible, no matter how nice he keeps his house or likes to cook.
His demands for you are unreasonable, because you are obviously not healthy enough for daily sex. There are ladies out there that would be thrilled to shag every day but you are not one of them. His behavior when turned down tells me he's a bit of a bully, and that outweighs anything else.

I would not mention kissing, cuddling in your profile. To some it may mean you are always up for physical contact, but reading your post tells me it may be all you have the energy for.
 ScarletSienna
Joined: 3/10/2015
Msg: 14
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:09:44 AM
That is abusive. Honestly, it really is. If you don't want to have sex, you don't.
Being terrorized and coerced into it is abuse.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 15
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:19:44 AM
looking4u0123...that behavior from your boyfriend is completely unacceptable in a caring relationship.
A man who loves, cherishes, and values his woman is eager to ensure she is entirely safe, happy, and comfortable.
This is a situation where you will definitely need to further communicate with this man. Good luck.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 16
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:21:47 AM
At what point did the daily sex start to bother you? If it was a problem from the get-go, why did you stick it out with him and put up with it? If you don't like it, leave him. Very simple.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 17
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:26:24 AM
Is the sex any good though? I wouldn't want to have bad sex every night, but good sex?.....hmmmmm

He's 46, maybe he thinks time is running out on his penis? perhaps it won't go up when he wants it to, so he wants to take every single opportunity before it runs out for real?

I never not wanted to have sex at all, he just needed to find a way to turn me on, on the days I wasn't demanding it, lol.

He did seem a bit cranky and in an argumentative disposition when he didn't get any (but so did I), it was never to the point of arguing about not getting any. His mattress is one of those MacDaddy mattresses that put you to sleep right away, I couldn't help it, I fell asleep, and he knew I didn't like to be woken up.

As for the gentleman in question, he's got to go. He is not being considerate or understanding of the circumstances by which you're not up for it every night and need to sleep. It must be really annoying to have someone who can't go a day without it, it's not flattering.

What would he do if you go on vacation?
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 18
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:31:30 AM
Vicki



I explained it and explained it and explained it but it just fell on deaf ears


It COULD be, I mean I don't know just speculating .... that it is the WAY you're explaining that is causing him to "go deaf " .

For example, if your style of communication is attacking , accusing that can cause people to instantly go into "defensive mode " at which point it's not about listening to YOU but making themself look acceptable.

You might try a different approach ?
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 19
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 9:44:37 AM
Muttenforpunishment

...................other person didn't lose interest in sex because sex itself became stale to them but because of how their partner treated them.


BINGO!

OP, Some VERY GOOD advice here, I agree with this advice and IG has made a point very clearly, Fire and Ice4 You, also is right on track, and Ouija2025, LOL, thanks for the chuckle.

Abuse comes in many shades. At the end of the day, it is was it is. When one person makes the other feel uncomfortable, pressured, guilty, it is a bad sign. Set your boundries and have the courage to follow thru.
 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 20
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 10:06:19 AM
Vicki


do I come across as attacking and accusing?


I have no idea how you communicate with your ex, I was just using a common example of why communication can breakdown.




Listening is an important skill in a relationship as well you know.


Yes, but just as there are reasons why a partner loses interest in sex there are also reasons why a partner STOPS LISTENING.

There may be a way to resolve this yet or maybe it's a lost cause. You would know this better than I , of course.

Some relationships just run their course.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 21
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History
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 10:16:15 AM
If the man is not listening to you when you express what your needs are and especially if he is "pitching a fit" over it, then you need to end the relationship ...period.

No excuse for verbal abuse because your partner doesn't want to have sex with you as often as you'd like. As others have said, your needs are different and if you can't come to a suitable compromise, then this will continue to become an issue which WILL grow with time and then you will end up being completely turned off after suffering through tantrums whenever he doesn't get his way.
Last I checked, getting 'harassed' for sex has never made anyone want it any more...

@Vicki...I went through something similar....and yes, he took it as rejection if I was sick or tired or just plain didn't want to for whatever reason...ie. studying for exams etc. We also had sex quite frequently even still, until the end....
Seems like quite a few men have no comprehension as to how 'connected' many women's feelings are to their sexual desire for their partner....
Also, you can have all the desire for a partner in the world, ime, and if the body isn't willing, it's still not gonna happen....but that can be an entirely separate issue, if he has no empathy for your physical ailments...
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 22
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 10:19:21 AM
Only four months in and he gets REALLY mad, even after you've explained your reasons for being tired and not being up for it?? Yells at you? Sorry, I'd be soooo done, especially this early on. Expect more of the same over other matters as time goes on. People like this tend to progress in their demands over time when you allow it. Obviously it's the case because he'll be better for only so long and then it happens again. Diabetes aside, if you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it. It sounds like you're living with him if it's every single night and it was likely too soon to get to know the full scope of his personality. If you're not living with him, then maybe you should occasionally stay home.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 23
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:03:43 AM
^^^^ Really? It sounded to me like it’s your responsibility to figure out and understand why he’s not listening to you and adjust yourself in some way to get him to listen…? So if he still doesn’t listen you’re still doing it wrong…? How about he gets his head out of his arse and realizes there’s two people in the relationship, not just him.

I am familiar with being yelled at; it is NOT conducive to heartfelt discussion. Probably it’s the woman’s responsibility to calm him down, too…or keep him from yelling in the first place….which seems to be where OP is right now.

OP. A man yelling at you is NOT a loving relationship. Hire yourself a cook and housecleaner, or get a nice female friend for a roommate. A clean house and a good meal ain’t worth his piggish treatment of you.


And I congratulate you for having a real nice man in your life.


Right. He screams at her nightly for sex but he’s got a job. What a prize.
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 24
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:08:24 AM
Full blood Hispanic race male, are ALL like that...And Yes, they do get mad when they do not get it.
Perhaps that's why I do not find so badly the behavior of OP's fiancé.
He also has some good qualities We must take into consideration before making a decision.

They (hispanic males) in my country have a joke about the male"Greengos".
If we say something about no sex to our husband, They say they are not "greengos" with cold blood.
And They say we (women) should know with whom we were married,it was with A Hispanic man,not with a "Greengo"..:)
To judge for the answers of some ladies here,I know they never had sex or any kind of relationship with a hispanic man..You will not last long with him nor he with you...lol

Perhaps her fiancé has "some" Hispanic blood...Who knows...lol
To be honest, I do not believe that saying about the "Greengos".
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
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History
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:11:41 AM

To judge for the answers of some ladies here,I know they never had sex or any kind of relationship with a hispanic man..You will not last long with him nor he with you...lol


Ahhhh yes, the infamous "cultural" pov.....

Yeah the Frenchmen here, where I live say the same.....

I say they are immature children who don't know how to have a reciprocal relationship with a woman without their own needs being paramount....

Potato potahto....as they say....
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