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 old_hag
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 1
What do 50+ men want?Page 1 of 54    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
First, I tried to post this in "ask a guy" but it wouldn't let me. And I did a thread search, but nothing showed up. I just want to know from those 50+ men: What do you REALLY, REALLY want? I mean in your heart of hearts, why are you here?
 old_hag
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 2
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 1:19:27 PM
Oh, I'm prepared for the unrealistic responses -- Barbie, Miss America, Supermodel -- all young enough to be their kid. I'm just curious to see how many will admit it LOL
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 3
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 1:28:13 PM
Hassle free relationship with a woman that is happy to be with me, does not have a load of issues, isn't completely broke, is not basically crazy about cats, and is in reasonable physical shape. Enough education to be coherent in discussions of current events, and one that does not dream of bus tours or cruises.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 4
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 1:47:36 PM
What does THIS 50+ man want?

To be talked with, not at;
To be listened to, not just heard;
to play, work, relax - together;
to recognize that, yes, I have grey hairs, I'm not as virile as I was 30 years ago, but I still have a fire in my belly;
recognize that our needs are different: I know you're not a kid anymore either, but how about pretending you still remember the youthful allure you once had that caused guys to turn their heads;
For some guys it doesn't matter, but for some we like the illusion - color the grey (it's not a lie, it's a boon);
keep moving, fight the aging, keep the weight off, lift, eat right, etc. - we know it's not easy, it isn't for us either, but a woman who isn't healthy is a drag for both;
look at me as if you still remember, look at me as if you still wanna;
Ya know, a woman whose nickname is Cleopatra (as in Queen of Denial) is a buzz kill for all and makes for a loooooong life;
be the aggressor: my ego, for one, is hurt when it hears "no" over and over but rejuvenated when it hears, "I want you!";
at 50+ understand where I've come from, respect where I want to go, and help me (us) get there;
Don't be afraid to tell me what YOU want; what you need;

TK
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 5
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 2:20:57 PM
^^^what TK says I will echo as well.

I'n not quite 50 yet, but I would also say that as I get older, I'm not enamoured by women like I used to be and that, in turn, changes my whole approach and demeanor with women. I no longer feel a need to "chase" so don't play hard to get or expect that I'm going to engage in meaningless flirt. I can't (and won't) be bothered with stuff like that. I like laid back, casual conversations that pique my interest. I find looks to be a secondary thing. As long as you walk and talk with an air of confidence this is what strikes me as attractive up front.

Like TK said, don't be shy in your approach. Take some initiative and engage in some chit chat - this is what often leads to more.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 6
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 3:31:37 PM
I know that as a 41-year-old woman in her prime who might meet a 50+ man, that I do expect he should not only be confident in whom he is without lying about it; engage in scintillating conversation; but he live as an emotionally stable person who has his own couch to surf.

Additionally, he should be able to perform. At this stage of my life, I'm disinterested in meeting somebody without these qualities and riding along Brokedick Mountain (a term my very good friend coined) isn't something I want to do.

It's not too much to ask.

And, yes -- 50+ men do pursue me, even though I'm not at all model material.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 7
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 3:38:21 PM
eternityboresme
but that he should be able to perform. At this stage of my life, I'm disinterested in meeting somebody without these qualities and riding Brokedick Mountain (a term my very good friend coined) isn't something I want to do.

It's not too much to ask.


Are you saying if the man is compatible in every way...except that he can't maintain an erection while having sex, that you would end the relationship??
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 8
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 3:40:29 PM
No -- it means I wouldn't start the relationship (or agree beyond dating). Yes -- sexual compatibility is also important for me in a relationship -- at this stage of my life -- just as it is important for men. This would include ongoing consent and equitable decisions made therein and reasonable sharing of our talents in this once facet of our relationship. (It may very well be that in ten years time, my viewpoint will change and that's when a relationship might mean something differently -- perhaps more meaningful -- and might be the real relationship I desire and will deserve to earn.) I would never mislead a man and obstruct him from having true happiness with somebody who is a better match for him -- and certainly wouldn't do it to him, in this case.

Yes, I'm being selfish. And yes, I was being harsh in my previous post because people lie and then I'm expected to give a shit. But no, I won't reconsider, at this juncture of my life.

What happens once a commitment is made is entirely another story, of course -- how could I leave my love bereft? I'd be so consumed with worry about him, that nothing else would matter. (Unless he is hiding a great lie, of equal or greater significance that could hurt me -- and my unfortunate experience is for another thread -- and that's when all bets are off.)
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 9
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 3:58:48 PM
When I was 41 I was in the beginning of my sexual peak, so why would I want to start & maintain (unsuccessfully) a relationship w/ a man who couldn't function on the same level as me sexually?

It would be a mis-match.

For anyone to imply that a person, whether a 41 yr old female or let's say a 29 yr old male should forego sex/ or the type or quantity of sex is ridiculous. Not saying anybody has said that per se, but throwing that out there.

Sex is the glue that binds together a relationship.

Now for me at my age, it is less important, but it still is important. And there are men out there my age or even older who are still fully sexually fuctual.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 10
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:13:48 PM
In the process of doing some housecleaning this past weekend, I came acrossed my old high school yearbook. My high school wasn't huge, but about 200 people were in my class. One thing I noticed, was that out of the two hundred, only three were overweight. (Two, were guys) In thinking back to those days, it used to be a real novelty to see a severely overweight person. (It was a carnival attraction, once) Nowadays, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a few.

I'm in shape. Throughout my life, I stayed that way. I reserve the right to be choosy, and select women that can keep up with me.

Many of us guys lost out during our divorces. Some gave up almost everything. We just might not be able to afford to do all of the things you want us to.

Not all of us want the young thing that has the killer looks. We just might not be able to keep up with her. (Or want to)

By age 50, we know what we like. Most of us are willing to try new things. We just don't want to forget what we enjoyed before you came along.

At one time, us guys chased after the women we wanted, and married them. We were sick of the chase, and thought we were through with it. Well, guess what! We get to do it all over again. Problem is, we knew it was a pain it was. For me personally, it WAS a nightmare that I didn't want to re-live.

You could be a wee bit more forward. For some of us, our confidence level went down with our testosterone level. Or maybe we're just not so sure that we measure up to what you might be looking for. Or for that matter, if you were giving us flirting smiles at us from acrossed the room, we just might not have seen you. (Vision slips with age)
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 11
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What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:14:09 PM

Yes -- sexual compatibility is also important for me in a relationship -- at this stage of my life. This would include ongoing consent and equitable decisions made therein and reasonable sharing of our talents in this once facet of our relationship. (It may very well be that in ten years time, my viewpoint will change and that's when a relationship might mean something differently -- perhaps more meaningful -- and might be the real relationship I desire and will deserve to earn.) I would never mislead a man and obstruct him from having true happiness with somebody who is a better match for him -- and certainly wouldn't do it to him, in this case.


Wouldn't it make more sense for you to date younger rather than older? Especially if sex is of prime importance at this moment rather than relationship? Its a no brainer that younger guys will be better performing and probably more willing to compromise on relationship longer term. Just curious as the thread specifically asked what males 50+ want, not what women 40+ want.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 12
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:14:32 PM
In this age , what a man over 50 desires is not taken into consideration . I am surprised this topic was ever brought up . The time I spent on this forum it has become obviously clear , women only want what they want and could care less what a man wants . It is better to move into the future alone .
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 13
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:35:18 PM
I've met 125 to 150 men ages 50-65 through online dating.
They all wanted a slender, fit and pretty woman.

All of the men wanted a sex and recreational activity partner.

Over 75% wanted sex on the first date.
Fifty percent wanted sex with no commitment, a "friends with benefits" relationship.

Four of the men never learned to cook.
They expected me to do all of the cooking and meal planning.
That felt like a huge burden.

"You can whip me into shape," overweight men said.
Non-hikers all wanted me to teach them to hike.

They LIKED the idea being in shape and hiking with me.
But they lacked the personal motivation to exercise and eat right.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 14
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:36:13 PM
"even though I'm not at all model material"~EBM
^^^^^^^^^^^^
she's MOVIE STAR material!

Of course why would she have to accept a man who couldn't offer what she needs, why should any woman settle?
***********************************************************************************************************

Men certainly don't want to settle, so what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

My husband didn't exactly want to hold hands on our wedding night, sex was important to him, so why shouldn't a woman have her expectations met too?
*******************************************************************
And why should LH be a personal trainer for free?
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 15
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:51:21 PM
Looking at the opps question , these very women validate my statement . They go on and on about what they want . or they state what men should want , as if they were men and actually knew .
msg 19 : You make men out to be the animals that they are not . Any relationships I have been in I settle for nothing less than honesty and respect that goes both ways .Unfortunately that is probably the reason those relationships failed , the honesty and respect that I gave were not reciprocated .
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 16
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:52:26 PM

In this age , what a man over 50 desires is not taken into consideration . I am surprised this topic was ever brought up . The time I spent on this forum it has become obviously clear , women only want what they want and could care less what a man wants . It is better to move into the future alone


I'm interested in men a little older than me. The last thing I'd do, though, is feign interest in man in an initial meetings in which exists no compatibility.

I'm not interested in wasting his time, money, and effort better suited for a better matched lady.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 17
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 4:56:09 PM

these very women validate my statement . They go on and on about what they want . or they state what men should want , as if they were men and actually knew .


Men date for sex & companionship.

If I commit to that, I want to be treated w/ love & respect.

Heaven forbid a woman states what she wants & wants some level of emotional fulfillment.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 18
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:02:11 PM

Wouldn't it make more sense for you to date younger rather than older? Especially if sex is of prime importance at this moment rather than relationship? Its a no brainer that younger guys will be better performing and probably more willing to compromise on relationship longer term. Just curious as the thread specifically asked what males 50+ want, not what women 40+ want.


I think what I need is something for me to decide.

And how disingenuous of you to misquote me, so to speak, and insisted that sex was of PRIME importance to me, when what I listed before that was of prime importance, sex being important also (and a close second).

Whatever is this topic, I can respond how I wish. And since I'm speaking of direct experience with such a person in that age bracket, it's my decision to contribute accordingly. Who are you to decide?

The OP knew exactly what they were doing when posted this (kudos to them).
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 19
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:10:43 PM
Well OP, although I'm not over 50 yet, I am creeping up on it, and I doubt I'd be interested to meet someone who refers to themself as an old hag. :/
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 20
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:10:45 PM
Thank you, BA and M_Church. Most appreciated.

Ugh, I can't edit my previous response.
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 21
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:40:12 PM
I'm not 50 yet but I imagine that as soon as I have my next birthday I will expect barbie, miss america , a supermodel because let's face it, all us filthy men are disillusioned , piggy pervs who only care about one thing
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 22
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:42:36 PM
I'd actually like to hear answers to the original question for those that have been asked the question...men 50 and over. A woman with a relationship, a woman just a few hours out of a relationship and a seeming serial female dater don't know the answers. What DO 50+ men want?
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 23
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:49:33 PM

A woman with a relationship, a woman just a few hours out of a relationship and a seeming serial female dater don't know the answers.

If we don't know the answers, why do we have dates/relationships? Are you the new Moderator, to tell the rest of us what we can post or who can post? There is a forum rule regarding gender specific threads (saying only men can post, etc.)

And I am going to use BOLD more often now too...
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 24
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:52:38 PM
Each person is a unique individual.

In my earlier reply, my observations were based on the 125 to 150 men I met, ages 50 to 65.
"What are you looking for in a relationship?" I ask every man I meet, working it into the conversation.

People reveal what they want through their actions and talk.

When men push for sex on the first date, it's clear they want casual sex.
"I will NEVER get married again," means they want a "friends with benefits" arrangement.

Players are the hardest to figure out, both men and women.
Claiming to want a relationship, they say all the right things.
Ultimately their behavior makes their intentions clear.
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 25
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:59:17 PM
If you're going to get your panties in a twist over rules, how about the one about replying to the original topic? Or, you could have voted to remove the "gender specific" thread instead of adding your two cents in on a topic not directed towards you.
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