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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 1
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefitPage 1 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
My guy friend who knows I post in the forums wrote me this recently:

Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit.

Being confident, being decisive, coming up with a plan, following through- these improve a man’s odds of success. They certainly make him stand out.

You only need to succeed once. Even when you do everything right, you will still rarely succeed. You’re improving your odds, but it may take a while before you see the results, just because the odds are still so low.

Therefore, you have to be able to recognize the good advice and follow it, even when you’re not getting immediate feedback that it’s working.


He has good success w/ OLD, maybe he has a point?
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 2
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 6:54:30 AM
"So I have to wonder what your friend would say about what women need to learn for their own benefit. Or as official gatekeepers to the crotch hole, do they just sit around making up elaborate rules for men?"

I'd be more interested in a response to this question than the original question.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 3
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 7:05:22 AM

because you wanted your BF to drive 70 miles round trip to take you to lunch so you wouldn't have to accidentally bump into an ex.
off topic but he suggested lunch 35 miles west, not me, after his drs. appt. which is in an area where someone I used to date lived/worked. My 81 yr. old Mom had surgery that day, so I did not go out to lunch, but had she not been operated on that day, I would have accompanied him to his appt. & had lunch after the fact, if he didn't want to have lunch closer to where both of us reside.


"Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit".... maybe but I'm not really one for telling men what they need to learn so they can get their way with me. I figure that by my age, if they haven't learned how to be a fun and interesting human then they will never learn. Anyhoo.... at this point in the 21st century there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of interest in courting... just unrestrained advocacy for free sex, cheap sex, easy sex, frequent sex, quick sex, DTF, FB, FWB, and WTF. Most people follow the path of least resistance, most of the time. And as we all know, it takes two to tango so I hardly think that men can be held unilaterally at fault in any way for their cluelessness in knowing how to "court" us properly.
I agree, particularly w/ the bolded part of ur paragraph, but my friend, Mario, does way better than the avg. man bec. he puts thought & effort plus a little bit of money into it.

The man who really wants to be with a particular woman will do what he has to in order to win that woman’s affection. IMO, courtship is not over unless a woman allows it to be!

Women who show men how to treat them will stop putting up with B.S.

Men who are not serious about relationships are going to head for women who have little/ no boundaries.

That leaves the men who are serious about relationships courting/behaving like a human being.

Some women make men put in an effort and reap the rewards. Others don’t and then complain that men have sex without any desire to commit. Even my friend says that a man can gauge that from a woman on a first meet.

Of course, none of this is applicable if a woman truly wants NSA sex at this point in her life.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 4
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 7:05:45 AM
Courting is just a scam to extract resources and money from a man . Many men are waking up to this fact and are refusing to get married because , that to is a scam designed to remove a man's wealth at the end of the marriage . With the government taking on the role of husband , men are no longer needed to get married . The proof about men not wanting to get married is in the current marriage rates in the USA , they are the lowest recorded in the history of the country and will continue to plummet as even more men back away from marriage , seeing it as the real bad legal deal that is has become for men .
Her friend is probably a real man (one who can be shammed into doing what he is told to do ) which means he is of no consideration to us men .
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 5
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 7:14:25 AM

He has good success w/ OLD, maybe he has a point?


So does a player who gets a new girlfriend every week to add to his collection. Their courting skills are top notch. Should every guy act like a player to impress women with their courting skills-aka good bullsht1tting skills and only telling women what they want to hear?
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 6
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 7:15:46 AM
Another self proclaimed wanna be princess, or member of royalty or a deity, telling what we need to do to make her happy.

At least you are not an uneducated, fat, divorce several times, with children from various men, smoker telling us that your life long of poor decision making skills makes you a great catch.

Awesome!

Your "friend" has no point. He is simply telling you to stop trying to be a princess, grow up, and get to the 21st century already. Or go to the "old, decrepit and disconnected people's home" and play bingo...

Why so many postings? What is your need for attention? Troll comes to mind...
 iamconstipated
Joined: 3/3/2015
Msg: 7
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:12:20 AM
I'm predicted a lot of male backlash from your comment. If there are plenty of women who are willing to cater to men in general why would a man go out of his way for any one woman? Especially if she is past her reproductive years.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 8
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:31:26 AM

coming up with a plan


A plan?
I hate this shyt kind of thinking. What are women? An obstacle course that one must come up with a strategy to accomplish? That is "player" territory. Where thoughts and actions are pre-formulated.
How about just be a gentleman using common sense. In this sense, I agree that courting skills helps. Courting skills is common sense, not pre-formulated planning. If it doesn't work out, she's not his type. Or... he's not hers
Simple as that



It ain't rocket science
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:47:26 AM
^^^^^ Beautifully said beautiful. I just believe in being myself. There is no one right way to be a gentleman. Each person has their own unique set of courting skills.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 10
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:51:13 AM

Courting is just a scam to extract resources and money from a man .


A broken, broke, selfish man would think this way. he's so self-centered that he thinks he's entitled to women's resources, time, sexuality and then complains when he actually has to participate in the relationship.
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 11
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:52:22 AM
^^^^^^ ( msg 10 ) Gorgeously said stud muffin , lol

I agree, I am me and if they don't like me then fiddle dee dee.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 12
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:53:10 AM
If the OP starts another thread in which she quotes a friend, she could use the quote feature instead of bolding. I believe it's legal to put things in quotes other than previous words on a thread.

As to courting, there is no incentive to do traditional courting in today's world, at least in the dysfunctional Western world. Perhaps there are parts of the world where traditional behavior is alive.

Back in the good old days, long term relationships were more possible. The man courted a likely future wife. Today's women are likely flakes who will disappear at any moment.

Many of the reasons not to court overlap with reasons the man shouldn't pay for everything. GC Deb said it well. Her account is gone, and I probably won't be as polite as she was. Back in the old days, most women didn't work. Women often lived with their parents (actually this part is extremely common with online women today). Women had good domestic skills they learned from their mother and other women. The woman contributed to the relationship by cooking/baking, sewing, cleaning, etc. It was a rare treat for the man to take her out to a restaurant. Often she would make a picnic basket and they'd have quality time outside. He didn't mind if they didn't have sex right away because she would probably stick around for life and he could wait for the honeymoon.

A couple years ago I was trying to have a relationship with a gal who wanted the best of both worlds for her: she wanted me to court her, but she also wanted me to take her out to restaurants all the time. She did bait-and-switch venue changing. The first time I was going to her place, she changed things a day or two in advance, saying she was going to have her brother and her 200+ pound cousins over that evening to watch the hockey game. Before I had mentioned bringing flowers. When she changed things, I said it sounded like I shouldn't bring flowers if we're just going to behave as friends and her family members would be upset by the flowers. She said, "You better bring flowers if you're going to COURT me". A week later, we were supposed to stay in at her place. She said she had leftover steak in the fridge. She changed things, demanding I take her out to a restaurant. I believe leftovers are best the soonest you have them, so her move was illogical. She just wanted me to spend money on her. She had the domestic skills but chose not to use them.
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 13
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:55:45 AM
[Courting is just a scam to extract resources and money from a man . Many men are waking up to this fact and are refusing to get married because , that to is a scam designed to remove a man's wealth at the end of the marriage . With the government taking on the Blahblahblahblahblahblahblahhhhhhhhhhh............. . ]

You are SO handsome when you're pissed off...( day after day:)...ladies, hold him down, I just wanna KISS him right on the mouth ...
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 14
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:56:13 AM
If you invest very little in a situation and you hope to spring from it a fulfilling, long-term relationship, well, you might get laid (rather poorly), but you're not going to get what you want (unless of course you want to exist as a wretched human being, you'll receive that affection in kind).
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 15
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:58:49 AM

Courting skills is common sense, not pre-formulated planning. If it doesn't work out, she's not his type. Or... he's not hers


Exactly!

Hate to say it this way ......but back in the day, before social media, texting. Skype etc. you really had to put your best foot forward from the get go. You usually had one maybe two shots to make an impression, if you did'nt get it done you were yesterday's news.

That was what "courting" was all about.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 16
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:00:54 AM

Back in the good old days, long term relationships were more possible. The man courted a likely future wife. Today's women are likely flakes who will disappear at any moment.


This is rich, coming from an individual who prefers a low-maintenance girlfriend (e.g. one who avails herself as an obliging human doormat for self-centered, selfish, broken, middle-aged cheapskate, and cheapskate in terms of what you expect from her and what very little of kindness, care, worldliness, thoughtfulness, so far, you're willing to share).
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 17
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:05:01 AM
A very, very, very, very rare medical condition prevents me from reading posts made in all bold text.
My feedback is that if mutual love, dedication, and a sharing mindset exists...most other aspects will fall into place.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 18
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:05:55 AM

She had the domestic skills but chose not to use them.

I suppose you could have used your own "domestic skills" with the food she had on hand and refused to cave to her demands.

OT: Just as many women need to have effective social skills as men when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. It's not some magic formula the friend of the OP stumbled across and, although attempting to sound profound, comes across as a lame serial dater who only believes he's some kind of "success" story.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 19
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:09:33 AM
Interesting subject.

To court or not to court.

If by courting we mean a man putting up with the b u ll sh it that some women like to put them through I say, hell no.

If we mean here a set of strategies that will help a man improve his chances in creating attraction on a woman and be able to become intimate with her. By all means yes.

Caveat, and this one the ladies are not going to like. If you want to learn how to bed a woman, do not listen to women. Listen to men that know how to bed women. Most advice that women give men about picking up women do not work.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 20
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:14:03 AM
It have always been my experience that when a man and woman are truly interested in another the "courting" from both genders just comes naturally.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 21
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:16:56 AM

Caveat, and this one the ladies are not going to like. If you want to learn how to bed a woman, do not listen to women. Listen to men that know how to bed women. Most advice that women give men about picking up women do not work.


LMAO.... the bell has been rung.....how many pages of responses will that statement generate.
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 22
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:19:41 AM
"This is rich, coming from an individual who prefers a low-maintenance girlfriend (e.g. one who avails herself as an obliging human doormat for self-centered, selfish, broken, middle-aged cheapskate, and cheapskate in terms of what you expect from her and what very little of kindness, care, worldliness, thoughtfulness, so far, you're willing to share)."

_______________

That's an unnecessary low blow. I don't recall the poster being anything remotely like you described. Now there are a lot of princesses on here that seem to believe they are of high caliber or high maintenance and maybe this poster is just looking for someone a little more believable, a little less self absorbed and who appears a little less selfish.

Both genders should be "courting" (I hate that word) each other. Each should be putting their best foot forward. Long gone are the days of the female sitting there batting her eyelashes and giving some poor sap the "come hither" look. Its dating, he can ask me out or I can ask him out and both of us should bring our "A" game of courtesy, politeness the respect deserved when meeting up with a potential partner.

Women should learn a few courting skills as well, for their own benefit.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 23
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:21:52 AM

Most advice that women give men about picking up women do not work.



When a woman gives advice, she's talking about herself. Not others, even if she refers to others she is still... .. talking about herself !!! lol.
Listen well if you want ....HER ;P
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 24
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History
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:46:18 AM

Caveat, and this one the ladies are not going to like. If you want to learn how to bed a woman, do not listen to women. Listen to men that know how to bed women. Most advice that women give men about picking up women do not work.


I agree to a degree. I think women tell men how to keep women, while men tell men how to get women. Nothing works every time you use it. We're all individuals.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
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History
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/24/2015 9:57:43 AM
Most men I've met are gentleman on a date regardless if they are that interested or not, it's how they were raised to behave towards women. The players, the angry guys and the rest will never get it.
And the gals who expect to always be treated like a princess, are going to find themselves sitting home on their throne waiting for the phone to ring.
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