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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?      Home login  
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 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 1
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Just an observation. But I was reading my newsfeed on facebook, and this guy on my friends list brought this up on one of his posts. He complained about a woman he was dating that was too clingy because she called/texted him everyday. Quite honestly I was a little appalled. I know that they weren't in an official relationship, and just getting to know each other. And I do know some people like their space. But I believe that if you are going to build a good relationship with someone, you would be at least talking to them everyday. Just to see how their day is going..etc. I mean whats so wrong with that? When two people live together, they talk everyday. To me it seems like he is using this girl when its only convenient for him. Which isn't right. What are your thoughts?
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 2
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:34:48 PM
Well established relationships, everyday or every other day is fine, because you have gotten to the attachment portion of the relationship, and have sort of "meshed" your lives, for lack of a better term.

In the "getting to know you stage", it would make me feel like I was in prison and he was the warden. "Good morning", "hope you had a great lunch", "drive home from work safely", "have a great evening", "sweet dreams". Gah. I'm getting claustrophobic just thinking about it.

And I'm a girl. Every man that I know is not typically a chit-chat kind of person, so double the claustrophobia for them.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 3
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:36:40 PM
Too clingy is camped out in the front yard, but it really is up to the people in question.

By the way,,, you may want to consider another pic as your default, guys will focus on boobs and not you.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 4
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:39:18 PM

Too clingy is camped out in the front yard, but it really is up to the people in question.

By the way,,, you may want to consider another pic as your default, guys will focus on boobs and not you.


Thanks for the advice, but I am not seeking a man. I use this site for the forums. I don't see 3 or 4 texts a day as excessive though. Unless if she is constantly nagging him all day.
 Midnight_Whispers
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 5
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:52:04 PM
I am very old school and I feel if they are sleeping together then I would want to have at least a small daily contact. for me that's a whole different level
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 6
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:52:10 PM
In the early stages a brief call once a day or every-other-day is typically sufficient.
This can naturally be tuned to the wishes of both participants. If conversation is flowing and entertaining, go with it.
Resist the urge to fall into the texting rope-a-dope where one party *has* to return the text to continue the exchange.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 7
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 6:24:11 PM
It's not clingy if you both like talking to each other. If you don't like talking to each other, then you are just having sex.


-------------------------------------
To me it seems like he is using this girl when its only convenient for him. Which isn't right. What are your thoughts?
--------------------------------------
Get over this "he's using her" crap. She's a big girl and presumably can decide whether she wants to sleep with him or not. When you say a man is using a woman for sex, you're saying women aren't capable of deciding what to do without a man's guidance.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 8
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 6:36:49 PM
I'm not her mother and I don't know her. To me just by observation, he doesn't seem interested in investing his time into her. And it's clearly up to her to decide if she wants to put up with that or not. To me, he doesn't seem worth it. I would rather be with someone that wants to talk to me everyday. Btw he said in his post that he was looking for a girlfriend. She was a prospect. She failed his standards because she was apparently too clingy. I'm just asking opinions if talking every day is needy or clingy. Not what she should do.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 6:39:39 PM
Julia
I agree.. I want to hear - if he can't be bothered to shoot a fast text I hope she finds someone who will
btw
You OWN that blue
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 10
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 7:09:32 PM
Everyone is different.

With my ex boyfriend, we would call each other every evening to catch up. But then, we liked one another.

People are so afraid of intimacy and getting close these days. It seems to be a contest to see who is the most aloof, who cares the least.

Anyone who is put off by their girlfriend calling can't be that into her.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 11
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 7:44:18 PM
personally, I've had a female friend for 20 years, we talk nearly every day. she's the sister I never had.

SOMETIMES, complaints about daily contact mean someone's not all that interested beyond the sex, since you can't really cop a feel thru the phone. maybe one day there'll be an app for that.

some people date to just not be alone, not b/c they're hot for a particular person.

postscript: boobs are awesome. if they didn't exist already, we'd have to invent 'em :)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 7:44:59 PM
Another take:

No matter how "into her" he is, it will still be WHY she calls that will drive him away or not.

Getting in touch for practical reasons is fine. Calling in the middle of someone trying to get something done, just to pitch mewling sounds at them over the phone gets old fast. And clingy "checkups" are Right Out.
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 13
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:04:00 PM
Not at all; in fact I think it is vital when getting to know someone. It also displays genuine interest. But, not a text message; a phone call.


.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 14
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:05:15 PM

Anyone who is put off by their girlfriend calling can't be that into her.


Or just not into phones. Like me. I f*cking hate them with a gut-wrenching passion. I truly do.

Not to mention, in my own experience, a few minutes "just to catch up" has rarely been enough. It turned into a one sided, lengthy babblefest, then when I'd dare to end the conversation, I'd get a response like "what, did I say something wrong?" or "oh, am I keeping you from something? What are you going to do after we hang up??"

What am I going to do? I'm going to not have a phone shoved up my ass any longer.

That's what.
 Eekitsthebug
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 15
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:05:55 PM
When I still harbored the belief that I was relationship material and liked someone then I loved hearing from them daily. It was exciting to either hear their voice or get that hope you're having a good day text. Learning about them was a thrill.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 16
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:12:43 PM
TexasChick. I strongly disagree with your last sentence.

And Midnight Whispers, you can whisper to me at midnight over the phone anytime.

For five minutes, anyway.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 17
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:48:07 PM
3-4 times a day, rates annoying replies. Like, the same thing when you last contacted me. Watching the tube. Checking the inside of my eyelids. I'd go one better and just shut my phone off. Or, giving out TMI messages. I had one call me and talk, three times a night. She got the hint that I wasn't interested in talking, after the only conversation I gave was "Hello", and "good bye"

Yes, every day is too much. 3-4 times a day is WAY TOO MUCH!
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 18
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:04:41 PM
Feeling smothered makes me panic and gives me a knot in my stomach. The thought of making someone else feel that way is equally unpleasant.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 19
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:19:19 PM
Clingy just means the interest isn't mutual...yet.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 20
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:20:47 PM
gto RAISED this issue:
SOMETIMES, complaints about daily contact mean someone's not all that interested beyond the sex, since you can't really cop a feel thru the phone. maybe one day there'll be an app for that.

If I heard correctly, and I usually don't, I believe the iWatch has haptic technology - i.e., you can send your "heartbeat" to another (awwww). So, while it ain't quite copping a feel, if held in an appropriate manner, it may come close (that, and a little bit of imagination! No app required).

TK
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 21
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:21:41 PM
She's not being used, unless he's purring away with her then acting like he can't stand her behind her back, people pleasers do that too, it's called lying to not have to discuss what's not enough or too much. Me, I cringe when the phone rings, it's the last thing I want to hear unless I'm expecting a call. Now I might get into the discussion but mostly I don't want people to call me. Clingy people drive me up the wall. Some people you can talk to easily and others your are dying, rolling your eyes, paying attention to something else...if you know someone is not a phone person and you are a phone person, it's best to just move on because everyday someone is going to be hurt and the other one is going to be bored to tears. It says absolutely nothing about how much I like, love, or want to be with them, it means I do not want to be contacted every day. Even when you live with someone, some days you talk a lot to them, other days you are both off in other areas of the home doing your own thing.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 22
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:27:32 PM
I can understand not wanting to text or call too much. Some people are not into that. But I don't think that's what it's about. He wants no communication with her whatsoever on certain days. A day to himself. I personally can't do that. It doesn't make me feel clingy or codependent for wanting to talk everyday. I wouldn't want to feel like a pest to someone. I'd like to feel like I'm wanted and appreciated. But that's just me.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 23
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:41:16 PM
^ Little lady, you might as well just say "Blah blah blah. Blah blah" - all I can think about is burying my face in your boosom. And I'm a heterosexual female.

Clooney: That was funny.
 lookinginco83
Joined: 3/20/2015
Msg: 24
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:43:11 PM
I think the friend of yours is probably not too into her; however, you should have space as it is not a relationship yet. It's a thin line between acceptable and unacceptable variations in communications standards.

I'm guessing that your friend comes from a background where he found it acceptable to be out of the loop with friends and family for a considerable amount of time. I am also guessing that she may come from a background where constant communication with friends and family is necessary. It just may be a case of introvert (him) meeting extrovert (her) and neither of the two realizing that it will probably not work out well.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 25
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/14/2015 9:48:54 PM
Good god some of you ladies act like you never seen a woman's breasts before. Can we stay on topic?
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