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Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 1
Ex's New Partners/SpousesPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
As new threads have taken a slow down, I've been wracking my brain trying to think of something that might have a variety of responses, rather than an either/or sort of response. This could well have been a thread topic before, but I really don't care. Sooooooo....

Anyone want to share humorous (or otherwise) stories of what they've had to encounter with respect to an ex's new spouse or partner (or even those of some longevity) who have attempted to make your life miserable and how you've handled it?

On the flip side, there have to be those instances where the people involved are actually wonderful individuals and those stories would be welcomed too...after all, warm and fuzzies in the forums lately seem to be decidedly lacking.
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 2
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:48:37 AM
I have no stories, because I do the smart thing. Leave ex's in the past where they belong.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 3
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:54:13 AM
Ya, that may be true for you (do I call your piggy or dreamy?), but I'm thinking more about people who either have to have interaction because of kids or because a new partner to your ex is simply a weirdo in their behaviour even though you've left your ex's in the past and they pop up. Or are there any scenarios to be shared where they exhibited wonderful behaviour.
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 4
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:54:35 AM
Before we start, let's divert the conversation to a tangent, have a flame war, have Vicky and Charmin disagree, have a few trolls spew weird directionally strange comments, and let's not forget our grumpy man complaining about everything women, or our special guy that will write a novel to simply describe how he cancels himself out and no woman in the world would take him.

Did I miss anyone?

Oh me. So I will not talk about sex in this post.

Well, I lied. One of the big problems I had in my marriage was that towards the end my ex libido was 10 days. If we had sex, I would have to wait the whole 10 days before she would be in the mood. It was quite frustrating because, well, the week has 7 days, so if you had sex the weekend before, logically, you go to a restaurant next weekend and then have some awesome sex. Nope. 10 days, not 7.

We divorced, not because of that, but it was probably one of the reasons. She finds a guy that turns out to have a temper 10 times more explosive than me. And because he has diabetes and a few other heart related problems, not even the blue pill works with him.

Eventually we went from hating each other's guts to being friends and friendly and talk about things. And the irony that now she is the one that craves sex like crazy, and well, can't get it through the traditional channels.

Okay, I kept it rated PG.

Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 5
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:06:48 AM
Some of us would like to leave our ex' s in the past
But we have kids with them so....

Might not be the best story to start with but here goes.

My ex and I try to be civil for our kids sakes.
It was our daughters birthday and I had rented
a house for the week on the beach.

As a gift I invited my ex and his wife to stay with us
for a couple days. Her 18 y/I daughter had just moved in with
them and was going to stay home alone.

They arrived and we celebrated our daughters birthday
but there was no word from her daughter and she didn't
pick up the phone for hours.

They got drunk that night figuring all was ok
with her daughter.

Woke up hungover and decided to head home
as they still hadn't heard from her.

I got a call saying she had passed away in their pool!


We all knew she had epilepsy but hadn't had
a seizure in a year! It was heartbreaking and shocking
for us all! She had drown whilst we were celebrating our
daughters birthday!!!!

I had invited them!

I wouldn't have had a problem with her joining us!

It felt like my fault somehow.

From that point on, she and I have had an awkward
and minimal relationship.

Had I not invited them to our daughters birthday...
Had she joined us...
Had my ex and I not been civil....

She might still be alive.

She has been raised by and living with her father
and had only been in her mothers house for 3 weeks!

My ex had to pull her out of the pool.

It was a tragedy to say the least.

The situation made it so there are no great or worse stories
to tell than that.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 6
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:07:05 AM
that's funny, IG.

Back at university, dated a lass who broke up with me before we went all the way, and hopped into bed with the next fellow on the first date. Forgot about her until a few years back, she looks me up to cheat on her hubby b/c she's sick of him, and has never had an orgasm. Didn't feel much schadenfreude, wouldn't mind breaking my dry spell, but I'm (over)thinking she might fall for me again and I don't respect her nearly as much as I did when we first met and I didn't know what I know now.

Had a different ex call me up years prior, she's getting hitched and telling me about the guy. His prior wife all's nuts, their daughter is nuts....I predicted this could be a sign that the future husband has a habit of not giving the women in his life much of his attention, so they act out in order to try to get his attention. So, here we are, years later, and of course, the big problem in the new marriage is...he's all about himself, and doesn't give much attention.

not exactly what was asked for, just contributing to thread length.

hearton...HFS! that was a rough experience. reminds me of the saying, "no good deed ever goes unpunished". they didn't know how bad the situation was, so it sounds like a matter of...accidents happen. what is meant to be, will be.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 7
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:14:24 AM
omfg, Hearton...that's a horrible ending to an extremely good start.

It's surprising what misplaced guilt/blame can do. The daughter could have come to the same unfortunate demise while the parents were home and it would still be no one's "fault".

gto - at this stage in the forums, I don't think it really matters if it's an exact response to the thread topic - all responses are welcome at this point so long as it deviates from what has been becoming the norm around
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 8
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:19:09 AM
I know...but still.
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 9
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:22:35 AM
My ex reeeaaallllyy wanted me and his new gf to meet. But I didn't see the reason? He and I had (he's now deceased) a daughter together, so we saw each other regularly. I figured it would just happen organically one day. His gf ended up pregnant with his child, so they were making plans to move in together. I didn't have an issue with it, but I also didn't want to sit down and have dinner together or something weird like he was dreaming of.

Well because of my immovable stance on it, the **stard decided to spring her on me while I was at work. I was a cashier at the time, so he decided to purchase their crib at my till. Meanwhile he was smiling like a cheshire cat, enjoying every moment of the awkwardness and clearly wanting some kind of reaction. Ugh.

My first bf's ex gf wanted to kill me. No exaggeration. She was obsessive and faaaaar from emotionally stable. She phoned constantly and stalked him. A couple of times she showed up at parties where we were and had to be removed because she was causing a scene and making threats.

Once I was all alone, walking down the street when who should appear? High as a kite with a knife in her purse, having pre-planned to stab me. I was lucky that day that people happened up the scene and were able to help.

And then there was the hooker in downtown Calgary. Ahh yes, quite a life I've lived, lol.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 10
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:35:12 AM
I can only think of once where an ex wanted me to know she was with other people. but it was all done online, not face to face, so she got denied any instant reaction from me. but I did end the friendship after giving her two chances to stop doing it. oh, and there was an ex from a neighboring state, she invited me to a get together with some friends, I'm talking with this fellow when she comes over to sit on my lap. being the only sober one there, I noticed the consternation of the assembled. found out soon afterward, the stranger I had been talking to was the guy she dumped me for. apparently she still had some interest in me,which was odd b/c she was another woman who seemed interested but couldn't "go all the way" with me.

haven't had a nutjob ex try anything physical. but then I rarely date local :)
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 11
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:37:28 AM
Guess I should post one of my own!

It was only a couple of months after I moved to my own place and I was busy trying to start my own life after being coupled for 35 years. Both of my kids were just over 18 and doing their own thing. One day I go to my mailbox at the front door to take out the paper and I notice this envelope stuck in the bottom. I obviously hadn't noticed it before in it's location because the date on it was approximately three weeks prior. The letter was from my ex's girlfriend stating that I was some kind of issue coming between my ex and the kids. wtf!!?? I hadn't even seen much of my kids because one was living on their own and the other one might as well have been because she was always out doing her own thing. Needless to say, I was shocked and bewildered. What I settled on doing was just to send the letter to my ex via mail with a one liner simply saying, "Take care of it before it comes to the point where I have to." Never found any more letters in my mail box.
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 12
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:50:15 AM

Ya, that may be true for you (do I call your piggy or dreamy?), but I'm thinking more about people who either have to have interaction because of kids or because a new partner to your ex is simply a weirdo in their behaviour even though you've left your ex's in the past and they pop up. Or are there any scenarios to be shared where they exhibited wonderful behaviour.

You can call me whatever you wish. Piggy, Dreamy, Pig Newton, Piggie Smalls, Pigfried and Roy....whatever.

Now that I think about, I did have one incident when I was in my early 20's. A girlfriend and I had broke up amicably, but her new boyfriend insisted on thinking of me as an "enemy" for some reason. His chicken shit threats made their way to me through the grapevine, and I just blew them off.

One night, he and a few of his buddies showed up in my neighborhood. They started kicking over plants and pulled the mailbox out of the ground. One of them also yelled "come out, you f*cking p*ssy!!"

The only problem was, they had the wrong house. It was my next door neighbor's, and he's the president of a "motorcycle club". He granted them their wish, and did come out. He had them crying like little girls even though he never laid a finger on them.

Good times.
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 13
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:50:44 AM
Well, I dunno Vicki, but it made me laugh too when I read it. Sounds like he wasn't exactly being appropriate where your kids were concerned so it's kind of a reap what you sough sort of thing. The up side is that not only do you or your kids not have to contend with her, but neither does he. Win/win all the way around in the end.

Another good laugh, Dreamypig (I've settled on that one for the moment).

vvv Smart man of action!
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 14
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 9:51:29 AM
Oh yeah!! On another occasion I was at a park for a birthday party, there were lots of kids around. Well my youngest was about five, and at one point I couldn't find her. I went looking and she was talking to my ex's (her dad's) new gf!! I had never met this woman before, but she took it upon herself to approach my daughter and chat her up, away from the group. I was livid and told my ex to control his new woman. He dumped her, lol.
Joined: 4/4/2015
Msg: 15
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 10:14:46 AM
I think I was lucky to have been spared any problems. In 15 years my former husband's girlfriend never once interfered with anything that had to do with my children or their Dad and I. She cares about them, appropriately. She's his age and 16 years my senior so maybe that helped too. I once wrote her a letter thanking her for being a good Step-Mom to my kids. She and my former are not together anymore but still good friends and she still comes to grads and things like that. It did sting a bit…being left for the "older" woman, but in the end, it's all good.
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 16
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 10:20:28 AM
I have no horror stories, as no former nor new girlfriend has tried to meet me or make contact with me. My ex's ex-wife vaguely knew about me, because we mutually decided to also keep his daughter away from me, so the mother doesn't drum up ideas and becomes a nightmare for all three of us. He always avoided and prevented drama from reaching me, or him.

The only thing she knew about me is that I was much younger than her (she was older than him), and that was enough for her to lose it and try to use it any conversation they had. But when they finally divorced after many years of being separated, she lost out, and now wishes she had not been a pain. She had excellent health benefits, mortgage payments, he paid for most child expenses, through him, but when they divorced, everything became her expense, he was able to leave the house to the daughter, had a set child support amount (which would soon go directly toward child), and totally f*cked her over for being a b*tch. The last conversation they had was him picking up the phone when it rang and telling her "do not call me, our daughter is 18".

If he enters a new relationship, I'm sure she'll know who I am and she is free to call me if she likes. We can all hang out, lol.
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 17
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 10:41:40 AM
My ex-husband is charismatic; people, both male and female, are drawn to him because he is entertaining, sociable, and genuinely likes people (just not as much as he likes himself). During our marriage, I was asking him to go to marital counseling with me but he decided to go to Iraq as a contractor to make beaucoup money (and so I wouldn't be able to nag him about helping with the baby or around the house - his words) so I went to my lawyer to divorce him. He was injured in a vehicular accident.

My ex's gf wrote me a letter stating she felt he wasn't being totally honest with her and even though he said I had dumped him because he was 'wounded in Iraq' and probably wouldn't say anything but bad stuff about him, she wanted to know what I thought. I wasn't comfortable with being in clandestine contact with my ex's gf but told her that I had begun divorce proceedings before he was injure and perhaps she should consult with or confide in someone else.

She emailed and asked again.. When I emailed back, I told her if she figured out WHY she was feeling WHAT she was feeling then she might have a clue as to what to do. I also said I would forward her next email to my ex.
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 18
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 11:33:18 AM
moisika62- That's great :)
I have to say though, that your ex gets as much credit as the new girl friend.
A good person can pick a bad partner that causes trouble between an ex and their children, but IF the person really IS a good person, the new partner won't last long.
When someone asks their SO to pick between them and their kids, the choice should be easy.
When you are talking about a weak, selfish ex, well,water seeks it's level.
(sorry, having a BAD day, never, ever post on POF that you are getting along with an ex, I'm pretty sure I jinxed myself)
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 19
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 11:42:38 AM
Gene? Gene Simmons, is that yOU ? Remarkable resemblance, TPOYDreams in that new profile pic!
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 20
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 11:45:58 AM
Actually, no. She (the former's wife) hasn't interfered in my relationship with my son. So long as it doesn't happen (which is unlikely that it will happen) all is well.
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 21
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 12:09:29 PM

She has been raised by and living with her father
and had only been in her mothers house for 3 weeks!

Ouch. I feel for you Hearton.

Not the same, but it left me a weird feeling.

Long time ago, when I was a teen, a group of my friends and I decided to go surf at the beach. That meant that we picked each other up about 4 in the morning and left the city to avoid the traffic going to the beach. This was a Saturday. There were four guys inside a very small Fiat with surfboards on top. The Fiat was not very fast and with the boards on top it made it even more difficult to go super fast. We made it down from the mountains as we began to see the twilight of morning. Usually this is the time where the clubs close, people went to an Arepera, ate something and then, many people after partying went to the beach.

Sooo. We are going along the empty boulevard when a Renault 16 almost hits us and made us get off the road. As we recovered everyone in the car screamed obsenities to the car, among them "hope you wreck you hijos de puta."

Low and behold we see the car weave and lose control and smack almost sideways into a huger Saman Tree. This tree is wider than a house door and the car kind of turned into a pretzel around the tree. We were all freaked out, so we drove there. There were four people in the car, two young guys and two young girls. They had blood all over them. The two on the front were unconscious, the two on the back were conscious but in shock. We drove back to a police station where they called an ambulance right way.

We got to our beach, but we could not get the mojo to surf. Four guys just sat on the beach crying half the morning, because we felt so bad.
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 22
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 2:05:14 PM
Never had that sort of issue yo deal with. I don't stay in touch with exes and I wouldn't date a woman who did.
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 23
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 2:05:36 PM
Thanks for sharing that IG.

Your story is a lot like mine in that
we really weren't at all responsible for
their fates but somehow our choices/statements had
Very adverse and unintended results.

One can't help but feel regretful though .

I felt like she had lost her daughter to be with ours.

And our daughter who was turning 13 at the time
Was devastated and it was her first death reality.

Needless to say the rest of the week at the beach
was far from ok.

Life is so strange.

On a lighter note.

My ex used to blame me for his alcoholism and verbal abuse
and 7 years since I left him he hasn't changed.

Guess it's her "fault" now?

I was warned by him not to warn her about him.

She's finding out the hard way.

I feel for her on multiple levels but I have to steer clear.
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 24
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 3:01:02 PM
Nice! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 25
Ex's New Partners/Spouses
Posted: 4/22/2015 3:03:36 PM
My ex who had a friend through a social organization, her daughter and ours became very close friends. I just kind of knew her.
The woman would call my ex to help her do everything she could think of to get him over to her house. My ex is kind of clueless but has a huge heart. I was living in Canada and my ex invited this woman to ride up with him to drop our kids and hers off to visit me for the week. We met at one of the roadside concession areas to trade off the kids. The woman asked me to walk in with her to go to the ladies and go for coffee and then pulled me aside and warned me off of my ex that he was "hers now".

I said "Really? Ok." and went on about my business. Kids went home the next week and I called my ex and said what happened. He confronted her and laid down the law to her. Only have run into her one time after that and she acknowledged me then beat a hasty retreat. WTF? lol

BTW, ex never did date her or have an interest in her. Just considered her a friend.

As Always,
Le Pew
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