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 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 1
CryingPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
How do you feel about the opposite sex crying? I'm not the crying type myself but I understand my emotional makeup is just that...mine. It's not that I force myself to hold it back, it just takes extreme circumstances or in empathy for someone else's horrible plight or extreme happiness to make tears appear or sobs for that matter. I've been known, for instance to sob at funerals for someone I didn't know at all.

Men I have had relationships with post divorce seem to be far easier to cry than what I had experienced up to that point in my life, whether it was friends, relatives, my kids or my spouse. Perhaps I just made them feel safe enough with me that they could let it go?? Do you think a lot of people have developed an ability to cry at will to tip the scales of things in their favour or is it a case that people feel freer to let their emotions show? Like road rage but the opposite...lol

I had one guy have tears spill over so often over the most trivial of things (good or bad) that I had a discussion with him about it. It actually wound up being a ploy that he admitted to. Thinking of this, I was wondering what other people's experiences are, and do you know enough about yourself to be able to answer honestly if you are a crier - do you use fake crocodile tears for certain situations or is it a case of it just being a part of your emotional makeup?
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 2
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:14:43 PM


I had one guy have tears spill over so often over the most trivial of things (good or bad) that I had a discussion with him about it. It actually wound up being a ploy that he admitted to.


This just reminded me of that scene in the movie "Bedazzled", where Brendan Frazier was the overly sensitive guy out on the beach with his girlfriend. She got sick of his over sensitivity (like crying over a beautiful sunset) that she ended up dumping him right on the spot for a beach bully who kicked sand in his face.

As for "turning on the water works", it's extremely rare for me. The first time for me in many years was three weeks ago when I had to go to a 2 year old's funeral.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 3
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:16:39 PM
I'm a crier from way back.
Started in my childhood.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Overly empathetic towards others
and prone to feelings of victimhood
and in need of pity.
I cry when I see homeless people suffering.
I cry when I feel pain emotionally and physically.
I cry when I'm happy,sad,frustrated or feel powerless.
I cry when I'm belittled and disrespected and mocked.
I cry when things feel futile.
I've cried in public and in private.
I've even cried after I orgasmed.

I'm a big cry baby.

Anyone have a tissue?

Men crying is a rarity in my life.
They have mainly done it when they know they f*cked up
and want me to forgive them.

Then I cry out of pity for them.

Shoot I'm crying right now. ; )
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 4
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:17:44 PM
I like to see my man has emotional depth and is caring but to see him break down over everything...ah..NO.
I hope that isn't confusing. My late husband was my strong but silent support and had more "reasoning power" than me.
Where I tended to get all worked up and needed to yak it out, mostly to him.... over things in life.
He made me take a breath and think....
Yes....Like you, I could cry at a strangers funeral or some silly thing on T.V.....at the drop of a hat.
I cry when I see others cry too!

Aahh...Pig..You wouldn't be human if you didn't cry at a 2 year olds funeral.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 5
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:20:27 PM

Anyone have a tissue?


At first I read that as "anyone have an issue" and I thought, whoa...she has a tough side too!!...lol
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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History
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:25:24 PM
There are times when crying is not good for the situation, other times I need to think things over before I might let go and cry, then again there are things that touch me or manipulate me (TV stuff), but often I don't know the tears are coming and often they get to that stinging phase and I stop them.

As for men, I have a son, I know full well that males cry just like females, but society often forces them to stop. I think a man should show his true emotions just as women might. But I don't care to be around cry babies (that sounds like an insult that I don't mean) I'm just not good with emotional types, I find them exhausting. I'm sure they find me cold. I'm not, I have just as many deep emotions, I'm just not nearly as likely to express them openly. Anyone who cries for attention isn't going to get much from me, and overly sensitive males don't attract me, but I believe they should be just who they are and we will stay away from each other. I find it pretty easy to tell a manipulator and move on along.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 7
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:28:52 PM
Are we talking about public crying or in private?

Cause if I have to sit across the theater from him at every Nicholas Sparks movie cause his waterworks are drawing attention...then I may as well be dating myself.

Crying is good! It cleanses the soul and the sinuses...although, mine always feel stuffier afterward...go figure.
Anyway....for me..I want a man who is not afraid to cry but one whom I'm not afraid will cry over everything. :)
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 8
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 12:55:01 PM

At first I read that as "anyone have an issue"
and I thought, whoa...she has a tough side too!!...lol


Oh I do! I can be as confrontational and aggressive as a guy
if the situation warrants!

I tend to think that due to my past I'm more sensitive than most.

Maybe even an empath.

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

I'm extremely in touch with my feelings and those of others.

I can recall as a little girl being extremely upset if
someone even pulled a leaf off a tree needlessly!
I used to pick up dead bees and give them burials.

Haha...

I believe the abuses I endured made me this way.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 9
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:06:15 PM
I was reading an article to my girlfriend last night about a B-17 being spared by a German Messerschmitt 109. The B-17 gunners were all dead, the fuselage was torn to pieces and the German Ace could see that they were hurt inside and without Ammo. His own brother had been shot down a few days before and when he chased after the bomber it was with revenge. He made eye contact with the American pilot and for some reason, could not shoot him. So instead, he created a formation and escorted the bomber to the North Atlantic and let it go.
The story was so gripping that as I read, my eyes watered. She noticed that and said to me, that it was so interesting that the same type of stuff that moved me, moved her, since she also had watery eyes.

So yeah. I am a man that cries. I don't deny it.
 nhtds231
Joined: 11/26/2014
Msg: 10
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:16:05 PM
I have cried before, due to a stressful situation and once from emotion. Never around anyone though. I have no problem with it, from a man or woman. Although, I try very hard not to make women in my life cry. Usually means they are beyond pissed. Time to duck, dodge and move.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 11
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:38:15 PM
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/9-surprising-benefits-crying-why-its-okay-have-good-cry.html

Men. who cry are endearing to me!
I'm at the ready with a hug !!

My XH made me cry for years!
Men have been the main source of my tears.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 12
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:48:31 PM
I'm incapable of faking tears. When I feel to cry, I cry.

I raised my son to stand by my emotions and cry if he must. He's emotionally stable because he isn't shamed into feeling and believing he's less of a man because he expresses emotion.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 13
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 1:55:46 PM
Definitely not the emotional type, be lucky if I've cried 5 times in my adult life...but I don't think it emasculates a guy to cry...it's just not me, perhaps my tear ducts are broken
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 14
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 3:07:40 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^And look what you wasted it on...lol.
Damn...just wasted one of mine on this....just joking
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 15
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 3:27:29 PM
Ladies.....to get around that.....you just write longer posts! :)


Crying - Roy Orbison

I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while 
But I saw you last night you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say hello 
Oh, you wished me well, you couldn't tell 
That I've been crying over you, crying over you 
And you said, so long 
Left me standing all alone 
Alone and crying, crying, crying, crying 
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand 
Can start me crying 

I thought that I was over you 
But it's true, so true 
I love you even more than I did before 
But darling, what can I do 
For you don't love me and I'll always be 
Crying over you, crying over you 

Yes, now you're gone and from this moment on
I'll be crying, crying, crying, crying 
Yeah, crying, crying over you
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 3:30:39 PM
Interesting question....

My first, serious b/f used to cry a LOT, but he was depressed, before it was 'fashionable'....

Although I understood, at the age of 21-27 I can't say as I was as sympathetic as I could have been....A lot of it was that I was young and dealing with him was reminiscent of dealing with my alcoholic mother....It pushed a LOT of 'buttons' for me....

I, myself, am not a person who cries easily,...it never was an advantage where I came from to show your 'weakness' and I was one tough customer, for many years....

I learned how to cry from that first b/f, but was still not 'emotional' enough for him.

Many of the places that I've worked over the years, have brought me to tears, but again, not appropriate to 'break down' when you're sitting by the bedside of a 9yr old kid who has leukemia and has just had a bone marrow transplant and whose voice has gone hoarse from screaming, leaving them whimpering in pain....

As I confronted so much of the 'ugly' in the world over the years, I realized that it WAS ok to cry, when it was the right time, and that it helped me to deal with many of the horrors that I've witnessed....Don't think I would be even remotely sane right now, without allowing myself the release.

I have NO issue with people who cry easily...In fact many that I've personally known like that, whether male or female, seem to be some of the most well-adjusted people that I know....

As for using it as a manipulation, well, I don't think I've ever encountered that unless the person was mentally ill in some way...and generally there are a lot of other signs of trouble that are present before crying ever becomes an issue....

That would be a fairly basic tactic of manipulation, on par with the arsenal of manipulative 'tools' that a 2 yr. old has, and I don't think I would be able to tolerate it if i DID encounter it in another adult, especially at this age....


@ Pig...so sorry about the child, that's the most difficult thing to do, to bury one so young....no shame in shedding tears at the loss of such potential....


As for "Bedazzled"...Wow!!! Can't believe you mentioned that as that was EXACTLY the SAME scene that came into my mind when I read the thread OP, too!!!! LOL

Really good movie and Brendan Fraser did a fantastic job in that movie!!!

Remember him crying every time he accidentally looked at the sunset???? Omg!!!! LOL

Or "The Dolphin Song"???? LOL
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 17
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 3:44:02 PM
I seldom cry when I ought to - then I can cry over freakin broccoli. Not those nice squirt squirt, eyes leaking tears.. no, red faced, snot everywhere.
When my old Boxer passed last year M cried more than I did. Try eating while sobbing. He still tears up talking about her.
I agree - I don't want him to cry over a hang nail, but tears are cleansing
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 18
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 4:13:58 PM

As for "turning on the water works", it's extremely rare for me. The first time for me in many years was three weeks ago when I had to go to a 2 year old's funeral. {/quote}

So utterly tragic. :((((((((((((((((((((((( I'm so sorry. :(((((
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 19
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Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 4:27:53 PM
@Ouija....I STILL cry about my boy and he passed almost 10 yrs ago now....

Some dogs just leave their pawprints on your heart....
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 20
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Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 4:33:58 PM
It's odd, but I don't cry over people. My critters, that's a whole 'nuther thing. Maybe I'm just attached to them more.
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 21
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History
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:08:23 PM
I cry easily for animals in distress, children in distress, human suffering, weddings, funerals, certain movies ("PS I Love You" made me sob), and some of the patients I deal with, I feel a genuine sadness for them and I have a great deal of empathy for them. But interestingly, I don't cry over my own sadness. If I am crying about something relating to me, its more likely out of frustration than sadness (other than the death of a loved one, of course). My charities of choice are usually animal rescues, many of which rescue tortured and abused animals, so I have shed many a tear for them.

I don't mind if a man cries. But if he cries for things like someone eating the last of the Doritos, I don't have a whole heap of compassion and understanding for it.
 2015cashmere
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 22
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:08:33 PM
I'm not a public crier unless I'm at a funeral. I find it a stress relief at times but I do that in the bathtub, by myself. I have friends that cry at the drop of a hat, it's just not me. I have cried in sad movies or while reading a sad passage in a book. My husband wasn't a crier either unless it was over a death or something very sad.

Pets, to me, are pets. I haven't cried over the loss of a pet. I have fond memories of long lost pets but it doesn't bring me to tears.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:17:17 PM
I am crying reading this thread. Lovely.. bright red nose.
I would rather laugh til I cried, but
sometimes I just do. Maybe I'm just a big crybaby. Hell, I have cried over Ads on TV.
Get me to the Betty Ford center.. crier alert
Honest, I am bawling. I'd be embarassed if I know you can't all see the red nose. Damn I would like to be a pretty sobber, not a " darn here is a tissue stop it" crier
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 24
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History
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:17:24 PM
I don't cry anymore..... was told as a kid to grow up, suck it up, and get on with it.

Once upon a time I wore my heart on my sleeve.....and it got stomped on too many times.....so no....I don't show too much emotion these days, much less cry.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 25
Crying
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:22:51 PM


I was reading an article to my girlfriend last night about a B-17 being spared by a German Messerschmitt 109.


Very familiar with this story. I teared up as well.

The families of both the German pilot and the American crew members stayed in touch until their much later deaths, having reunions every so often to celebrate life.

Very touching story.
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