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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > i think she may me over weight      Home login  
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 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 2
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i think she may me over weightPage 1 of 26    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
Be honest and ask the question you want to ask, there's no polite way to say "Sorry, i think you might be fat and that would really turn me off so would you mind proving that you're fanciable so i don't have to go on the date with you if you're not?"
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 3
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:35:42 AM
If you did not learn a lesson the first time, it couldn't have been too traumatic?

8 closely cropped face pics is normally code for she's not comfortable with the rest of herself below the neck. I doubt if there is some tricky way to ask that she won't see right through. And no reason to try to be tricky.

IF body "style" is important to you, and it's not apparent from any pics, just man up and ask a lady BEFORE making arrangements to meet. Why waste her time or yours?

Of course, the only way to know anyone's real size is to meet them. A photo savy person can use lighting, clothing and judicious posing and angles to minimize size in any photos. (not to mention photoshopping)
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:40:43 AM
Oh NO she DIDN'T!....

lmao

Yeah NOTHING worse than being overweight and trying to get a date, how DARE she????

Ok, yeah, sorry...just HAD to get that out of my system...lol

In all seriousness....

It never really occurred to me to put up pics that were full body shots until this time when I came back and started to see all of the griping about this very subject....

Still haven't done it because I'm not really dating at the moment...

This question has also been asked about a million times already....Just ask her for a full body shot as you have had bad experiences in the past....

She might be pissed because that is 'shallow' or, as in my own case, she might have just not thought about doing so before...

Either way...if having a coffee with someone for 30 minutes is too much 'time wasted' then I suggest that you make your preferences known up front the next time and request a full body shot from the get go, before ever getting to the meet and greet stage....
It will avoid a lot of potential problems, and weed out all of those women who are looking for someone who sees past outward appearances or actually likes a bbw, and stop them from 'polluting' your dating pool....

Good luck with that....
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 5
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:45:58 AM
In this particular case, since you didn't request a full-body photo, simply go on the date and, if she is fat (a distinct possibility), then simply have an enjoyable time. explaining that you had an enjoyable time but don't feel you are suited. Or you can simply say, 'Sorry, you're too large'. Or you can hope she sees this post and cancels on you.

Since this is important to you, next time:
(1) Ask for a recent, full-body photo.
(2) Arrange a meet rather than a date.
 kayla_58
Joined: 5/23/2015
Msg: 6
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:46:48 AM
If you already asked her out, it is too late to ask for more pics, IMO.
if not, just tell potential dates you wish to Skype before meeting.
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:51:51 AM

there's no polite way to say "Sorry, i think you might be fat


First meets, not first dates on the inet..

You can usually tell if she has a very full face, if neck is full, if no collar bones show.Do her arms show at all?
Be upfront if a deal breaker but also be aware even slim women are turned off by you asking "Are you fat"?
Makes you sound like an azz , but they need to know esp in this era when most are not slim.Fat is subjective to so many.

If you just meet for coffee/one drink it would be worth risking imo and no one is obligated to ask another out on a second date.Cant you be fun, enjoy yourself for 30 min to 1 hour with a gal you seem to like so far( fat or not)?


Its a chance you take online when no body shot is up and even if there is, it usually wont match in my experience.
.

Ask her to meet you at *** for happy hour for 1 drink , be polite and if she isnt what you expect dont be rude,just suggest maybe some time in the future could have a drink again ( if she is good company at least) but not date.

If your e mails have been a bit romantic before seeing a woman, you may want to change doing that.

Remember shes taking a chance you could be A a really dull jerk, B not as attractive as your pics and hurt your feelings by not accepting a second meet.
c Think your nose is fat
Thats what its about.Chances.

Take them or just meet IRL.

You could put "No one over 125 * whatever* pounds is attractive to me"..on the profile.
Good luck with that though
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 8
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:57:16 AM
I refuse to take anybody seriously who claims in his username that he is some kind of "clit hero -- in CT."

Clits are clits, dude. I thought with your self-proclaimed "legendary" cunnilingus skills, that no clit is undeserving of the proper attention, eh?

Kindly piss off.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 10
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:59:45 AM
^^That's forbidden.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 11
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:03:28 AM
SERIOUSLY ????

No , no, far too 'gentlemanly' to ask her directly, but apparently putting her up for scrutiny to a forum full of strangers, is..........What, exactly???

A BETTER idea??

Come on now...as PP said, you can go on a coffee date and find out for yourself, it's NOT the end of the world....

Sheesh! Just stop yourself with this nonsense....

I'm starting to hope that she looks like a model when/if you DO meet her and that she decides that she's not interested in YOU!
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 12
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:06:09 AM
^^^^
(re - posting a link)

And amazingly rude.

Is it gentlemanly to sneak behind her back if you're too 'gentlemanly' to ask her directly? You'd prefer to publically humiliate her?

I'm hoping she's fat and decides he's not worth her time.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 14
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:21:08 AM

I refuse to take anybody seriously who claims in his username that he is some kind of "clit hero -- in CT."
It's the name of the town he lives in.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 15
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:41:04 AM

ok i wont post a link, i will not ask her, i will just turn up for dinner on saturday night and be polite

that's right.

she's taking a chance on you, too. even if she had full body pics, they could be inaccurate. I once met a man who self-described as having 'a few extra pounds' and that matched his pics, but by the time I met him later that week he had packed on about 50 more.

shocking news: people will misrepresent themselves on dating sites. even if they don't, the chances of any two people being a good match for each other aren't all that high. that's just being realistic so good luck, and given the above you might want to plan something less elaborate than dinner for your 'first meets' in the future.
 Janet4now
Joined: 5/10/2015
Msg: 16
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:41:06 AM
Rather than ask her, I would explain you have a serious problem with overweight women.

This is YOUR problem, not hers... and she deserves to be warned.

Nothing in your photo indicates you're an ass. That's trick photography at it's best.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 17
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:42:07 AM
Oh, you expect a flawless goddess. If you demand a certain size, why even contact face pic only profiles? I say you ask her for a body pic to reveal what you are about.
Personally, I would not bother with a guy who could not bear to have a coffee without one.
I feel no desire to prove my body type. Uh, they are supposed to be interested in me, not my parts....but I am an idealist. In real life, if somebody I don't know acts interested, I am not really flattered. I mean, sure, someone gorgeous, it is flattering, but even then, ultimately being picked for a look is very uneasy making and not interest creating. Creeps me out.
I hate the whole..who cares about your values, personality, the only thing that matters is my orgasm or if you look the part of good social accessory, let me accept your looks and work around...who cares if youre a Satanist, you're alright...
 Millionpaws
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 19
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:01:39 AM
Go to the meet.
Be charming.
Even if she looks like a human beach ball, be polite and charming.

Yes it is offensive to ask for a full length pic before you meet her.
Especially if you have already arranged a meet.

She may not like you because when she takes one look at you she may consider you to be too skinny.
Just as you may consider her fat.

A first meet is a first meet.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 20
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:15:13 AM

It's the name of the town he lives in.


Thank you -- I just read the profile. :/ Oopsie/sorry!
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 21
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:16:12 AM

this happened once before and the girl turned up over weight and there was no way i could be attracted to her.

The nerve of her turning up overweight! How traumatic that must have been for you.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 22
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:17:50 AM
No, your photos show you are slim, they do not show you have no muscles. So your photos are deceptive.

Why don't you have muscles? You know, if you really cared about your health, you would make the effort to eat right and exercise, so you would have the kind of body most women find attractive.

See how that sounds?


such extreme replies, im sure a lot of women would not be attracted to me as im quite skinny, no muscles, but i sort of show that on my photos.. all i was asking is would it offend a woman if i asked her for a full length pic before i met her... i cannot help it if i am not arratcted to over weight people, and with no attraction there can be no relationship
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 23
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:18:23 AM
I just hope that your "maybe" date won't be insulted when she sees your thin body (even when you put yourself down as athletic)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 24
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:28:57 AM
In the future ask for more photos before setting up a meet. Some will bite your head off but if you are going all cold sweat..
Mr DF has a very good point, you should change to thin type if that is what you are.
My that town name is a bad one for the Net.
Besides what if she is a few pounds over but is perfect every other way?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 25
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:44:39 AM

all i was asking is would it offend a woman if i asked her for a full length pic before i met her... i cannot help it if i am not arratcted to over weight people, and with no attraction there can be no relationship


It would not be offensive if you asked before arranging to meet. I would think it would be one of the first things to request - a recent, full-body photo. You might also explain in your profile that you prefer slender women and that's perfectly fine. We all realize that some men are not attracted to fat women. Don't be apologetic about it or say 'I can't help it....' - that just sounds whiny. A simple statement of preference sounds much better.

Go on this meet/date. Recognize that you might actually have a wonderful time even if you realize it won't go anywhere. A lot of dates don't develop any further. Let her know by the end of the date if there is or is not any chemistry but do let her know you had an enjoyable time (assuming you did). Consider it practice in learning how to be the perfect date.
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 26
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:53:15 AM
Totally laughing at the Clit-hero comment but maybe because as someone who knows the town name, I just didn't see it as anything other that Clithero. It's quite a well know Lancashire town and not some tiny village that only the very locals would know. I have family in Chipping which isn't too far from you and I doubt anyone in the UK would even see your user name as anything other than what you intended.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 27
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 6:04:05 AM
I think after reading usernames with references to sexual positions, fetishes, et al -- it'd not be far from me to mistaken the name of a town ( a town that is somewhere way across the pond from me) with such a reference. I have a dirty mind and I should check the profile, next time.;)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 29
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i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 6:25:41 AM
I would go on the first meet but make it just a drink only. Chances are she wont fancy you either. So just bear with it.
If she is fat then just be polite and say there is no chemistry. If she has outright lied about herself then on her head be it.
You have already asked her out so don't ask for a full length shot at this stage. You didn't learn a lesson from last time and have not handled it well again, it seems.

.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 30
i think she may me over weight
Posted: 5/27/2015 6:28:00 AM
clitheroe_ct, you have committed to the introductory live meeting. As a gentleman, you simply must show-up. My suggestion is to attend, have fun, and share a few laughs. You have been getting along via email...so have a nice time. There is no rule that anyone must have follow-up dates or a relationship. This can simply be a drink between friends. Absolutely do not ask for additional pictures at this juncture. Just be calm and gracious.
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