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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You get blocked just for sending a message?      Home login  
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 YourMomSaysHiJinx
Joined: 5/22/2015
Msg: 1
You get blocked just for sending a message?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Wow, online dating is a complete joke. I noticed some women will block you for merely saying hello in a message. Now I just don't say "hi," but I also point out a similar interest they mentioned in their About Me section. For example, "Hey, I see that you liked so-and-so. Cool." It's something to that degree. (I know many of you will criticize me for writing something generic for an icebreaker message, but what else can I write if they have a sparse About Me section?) They view my profile, according to POF, and block me. Awesome. I love the future.
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 2
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 5:54:34 PM
You aren't understanding based on this and the last thread you posted.

They aren't interested. It doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter how the tell you or if they tell you or if they just block you. All you need to understand is that they each have their prefered way of showing lack of interest. They get you message, they look at your profile and they are not interested.

Just move on and maybe the next one will be.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 3
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 6:13:53 PM
It's in the fine print. You didn't read this when you joined POF?
( Small print) Men, please beware. You will be blocked. At least once, perhaps more than once depending upon the phase of the moon. POF is not responsible for this. Proceed with caution.

LOl, Yes OP, it happens. You are not the first to suffer thru this and you will not be the last.
We could assume all day long why this happened to you but we are not capable of reading her mind.
Take a deep breathe, relax, move on.
LOL, So nice to know you, ...."love this feature".

BTW, The first message from my BF, was simple, and polite. "Hello, I like your profile, How are you?"
Yep, That's it!
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 4
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 6:22:05 PM

BTW, The first message from my BF, was simple, and polite. "Hello, I like your profile, How are you?"
Yep, That's it!


Which confirms my long held view. It's not what the message says or doesn't say, or how it's written. It's all about WHO sent it.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 5
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History
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 6:55:23 PM
Deleting and blocking those that are of no interest ensures that you dont bother them again, when you are drunk or have forgotten. Don't take it too personally. It is a click next medium. The messages mean nothing if the pics and the stats dont appeal. What you write has very little import in truth.

You need a thick skin to deal with online dating and the rejections you will inevitably face. Online dating has very low rates of success in truth and you need not to have any real expectations of it. So dont spend time ruminating about those who you perceive as treating you badly. Next......
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 6
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 8:15:01 PM
YourMomSaysHiJinx...the woman simply was not interested and wished to ensure there was no further dialogue.
Look at the bright side of the situation...you likely will not send her another note now that she made her wishes clear.

 BussOfEsprit
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 7
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/11/2015 10:57:49 PM
Getting blocked is part of the process and you will survive it!
1st part of your profile provides a description of a sarcastic, introspective and witty personality and you contradict it with the 2nd part of your profile which you list your favorite movies, music, and books (YAWN).
You’re 30, 5’ 11”, and two of your photos look like you couldn’t figure out how to work your cell and accidentally captured the moment (but good enough!!!). Profile review might help but no guarantee!!!

Only constructive criticism!
Good luck OP
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 8
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 4:09:48 AM
And it's such a great feature, that you can do the same thing for any reason after their initial message.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 9
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 6:46:38 AM
I think blocking should only be used when a person is abusive or is unable to take no for an answer. Not as an preemptive strike. Not completely sure if this is true, but I heard a person's profile could be deleted if (s)he is blocked a certain amount of times. Having said that, when a person is blocked, it is simply best to move on.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 10
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 8:08:40 AM
you'd never know you were blocked unless you tried to message them a second time. no answer = not interested.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 11
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 10:32:17 AM

I think blocking should only be used when a person is abusive or is unable to take no for an answer. Not as an preemptive strike.


Oh, how I wish I could preemptively block somebody, and block their visage from the repeat showings of their thumbnails of available online searches.

Unfortunately, there's no such method and you do have to tolerate at least a first message before striking.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 12
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 12:11:18 PM

oh, how I wish I could preemptively block somebody, and block their visage from the repeat showings of their thumbnails of available online searches.

Unfortunately, there's no such method and you do have to tolerate at least a first message before striking.


Maybe you should join Match. On that site, you can remove a profile from your search results or you can block a person without any contact.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 13
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 2:33:52 PM

you do have to tolerate at least a first message before striking.


No You Don't..........

I'll let You figure that one out....... If you can......
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 14
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 3:30:19 PM

I noticed some women will block you for merely saying hello in a message.


I can go you one better.

I once got blocked just for making someone a favorite.

They sent me a first message, when I tried to respond, I had been blocked.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 15
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 5:44:52 PM
Hi OP
This has been asked about a zillion times. You are new - you will tough up :) Meanwhile - you would benefit from having your profile reviewed, much room to improve.
And yes, you only know you are blocked if you send another message - so send one easy one then if no reply - move along.
I like when I blocked some wanker and he comes back with a different user name. Like suddenly I will find his nonsense endearing.
FMG - wow, that was kinda harsh
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 16
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History
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/12/2015 8:43:59 PM
You can tell that someone has blocked you if your message to them disappears from your Inbox, but their profile is still active. (I think that blocking would be the only explanation for that scenario?)

You CAN block someone before they message you. If I recall correctly, you can add them as a Favorite, then go as if to send a message, and the BLOCK button will be there.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 17
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/13/2015 5:44:59 AM

You can tell that someone has blocked you if your message to them disappears

^^^ thanks for the correction! somebody blocked me once after i sent them a message. i never thought to check 'sent messages'. a month or two later i sent another one just to see if it would go through... WALL.



You CAN block someone before they message you. If I recall correctly, you can add them as a Favorite, then go as if to send a message, and the BLOCK button will be there.

there are probably 5 people on POF who figured that one out.... there should be instructions.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 18
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/13/2015 5:52:56 AM

You CAN block someone before they message you. If I recall correctly, you can add them as a Favorite, then go as if to send a message, and the BLOCK button will be there.


ugh, but that is sending some indication of contact/interest.

But if need be on POF, then I must...
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 19
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History
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/13/2015 7:59:28 AM
sometimes they block someone just to stop them from writing again ,without opening themselves up to the possibility of persistent or abusive repeat emails if they don't reply, or reply once out of 'politeness'.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 20
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/13/2015 8:27:29 AM

You CAN block someone before they message you. If I recall correctly, you can add them as a Favorite, then go as if to send a message, and the BLOCK button will be there.


I didn't know that. But then I stopped paying attention to the favorite feature when the women that marked me as a favorite didn't respond to my emails.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 21
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/13/2015 11:05:08 AM
"sometimes they block someone just to stop them from writing again ,without opening themselves up to the possibility of persistent or abusive repeat emails if they don't reply, or reply once out of 'politeness"

This.

As a man, you wouldn't believe the verbal abuse, nasty comments and hostility men can unleash when you reply with a "thanks but no thanks."

Women are (and should be) simply more cautious about who they speak with. There are some men who can get really mean. Or pushy. Or make crappy comments about your sex drive, or subject you to long lectures about your shortcomings.

They also can think they have "one foot in the door" because you replied, and keep pestering you.

Move on and forget about it.
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 22
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/14/2015 1:56:47 AM
"Wow, online dating is a complete joke. I noticed some women will block you for merely saying hello in a message. "

OLD is not as good as in person, in that you will garner much more rejection than in person where you read signs of interest or disinterest and avoid a load of rejection, and/or have a better batting average in person because you have some eye contact, or a smile or small talk to work with, to figure out if it's worth pursuing.

So, you are shotgun showing interest in people with no idea if they even would consider you as a date. Naturally, the rejection rate is high. I walk by tons of people, some perfectly pleasant enough. Why would I date any of them? There is no good reason, unless we had similar interests and goals or had some connection that was developed by circumstances. You cannot manufacture that, or it is really hard to.

People who hate to chat up in person think it's going to be easier online, but it is really easy to dismiss people online.

It is worse than the anonymity of a car, and look how people act in their cars.

"Now I just don't say "hi," but I also point out a similar interest they mentioned in their About Me section. For example, "Hey, I see that you liked so-and-so. Cool." It's something to that degree. (I know many of you will criticize me for writing something generic for an icebreaker message, but what else can I write if they have a sparse About Me section?) They view my profile, according to POF, and block me. "

As people say, it is not personal. I would want to block, if I did OLD, but would not just to avoid a backlash...stalking...

"Awesome. I love the future."

This is a distorted pov. OLD has nothing to do with your value, or your future.

If you rely on it for all your dating, you are probably better off not using it.

If you use it, understand it is somewhat limited, as people are more picky online than in real life.

I am sure I am because all you have are stats, no voice, no real sense of the person. Consequently, I can see an ok looking guy, regular interests, and just not feel compelled to reply or contact. I just feel indifference.

That is why someone who leaps out of the page by being especially good looking or unusual seem to be more memorable. But, I will see triathletes, CEOS, frenetic lifestyle guys who are successful and it doesn't really float my boat either. That isn't my type. So, if these types wrote me theoretically, I just might say sorry, we have too little in common.

The point is, it doesn't mean you are bad because you were not a fit for that person.
 pwj68
Joined: 2/10/2013
Msg: 23
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/14/2015 5:58:32 PM
I agree it seems harsh, even the whole no response=no interest seems cold, but I get it who wants to get rejected or have to reject.

Truthfully how many profiles do you skip by without emailing with no second thought because they are too fat, too ugly, too old, too plain, too boring, too creepy, too meh, too whatever... pretty much most I bet, so if you look at it that way how insulted can you really be.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 24
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/15/2015 3:28:53 AM

I agree it seems harsh, even the whole no response=no interest seems cold, but I get it who wants to get rejected or have to reject.



Why would it be cold? Why should I speak to somebody I don't know with whom I don't feel comfortable in conversing? That means (in equivalence) that when I'm about and about, I have to drop my plans to talk to men who approach me for a conversation, when I'm trying to get to an appointment or the market or somewhere for my kids and I have no inclination to speak them at that time -- so they don't feel rejected.

That's absurd.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 25
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 6/15/2015 6:27:27 AM

Wow, online dating is a complete joke. I noticed some women will block you for merely saying hello in a message.


Boo f*cking hoo. A woman you don't even know blocked you. Life does go on. It's really not that devastating in the grand scheme of things.



As a man, you wouldn't believe the verbal abuse, nasty comments and hostility men can unleash when you reply with a "thanks but no thanks."


I would believe it. I've actually read some of these messages. I saw a friend of mine Friday night, and she gets a ton of messages per day. She started talking about some of the f*cked up messages she gets, and eventually pulled out her phone to show me some of them. I would say half of them were pathetic yet laughable, but the other half would leave you feeling the stupid f*cks belong in prison.

This wasn't the first time I've had a friend show me her messages, either, but the ones I saw Friday were probably the most disturbing.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You get blocked just for sending a message?