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 AUTHOR
 lorct11
Joined: 5/28/2013
Msg: 1
Sins of pofPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
[Disclaimer: I have been on and off dating websites for 10 years, this is from my experience using them and testimonies from others. Online dating can work under the right conditions, although i have got more dates offline then on i did meet 2 wonderful woman online from that are still friends with me. This is online dating in general, not just pof. Its a list of reasons why you most likely aren't succeeding at finding someone. Most of it is so true, dont deny it. Work with it to increase your odds. Online dating is like playing the lottery, but the odds are against you for these reasons]


Sin #1: Men im going to start with you. Just because shes showing cleavage doesn't mean shes on here for just sex. Your****pics are disgusting put that thing away.

Sin #2: Woman you are next. You may have had men cheat on you, lie and play games. No, i would not call those. I would call them boys, because men dont do that. Even though you went through alot heartbreak and drama we men dont want to hear about. We click on

Sin #3: Directed to both sexes. If you really wanted to talk to someone try being more into the conversation then just simple answers. Invest yourself or move on, if your not interested then tell them you are not and move on. I respected many woman who at least did that rather then try to invest myself and all i get is just 1 word replys. Yes/No/Maybe is for standardized tests not dating.

Sin #4: Dont set your standards so high of you are looking for. I know that guy/girl looks like a movie star and most likely they are (i will get to that in sin 4) but if they arent even if you are attracted to them, 9 times out of 10 they wont be into you. If you are average looking then be real and try to find people who are as well or around average, most people are.

Sin #5: The sheer number of FAKE profiles is astonishing! i have seen profiles of models and celebraties as the picture of peoples profiles from other countrys. Some we wouldnt even know of here in america. One time a lady gave me her in the very first mess
 lorct11
Joined: 5/28/2013
Msg: 2
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 9:28:38 PM
Sin #6: For the woman. It may seem frustrating when your inbox is full of guys wanting just sex, yelling at you for turning them down or ignoring them but dont loose heart because in all that mess there are some good men to talk to. Most likely you pass them up, maybe you feel overwhelmed and you go on a delete spree. Try to give those guys a chance to not be in the middle of your delete spree.

Sin #7: Dont expect to move onto phone conversations right away people, for me personally i want to get a feel if the conversation im having can keep each other interested, that we invest into it. It may take a day or to but if the conversation keeps going because you like what each other says, then let things 'level up naturally' to phone calls then meeting in person.

Sin #8: For the last, this is for everyone. I'm not saying lower your standards so low that you end up meeting someone you really aren't attracted to but dont let looks alone stop you from talking to someone, try giving someone a chance that maybe 1 o
 lorct11
Joined: 5/28/2013
Msg: 3
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 9:31:39 PM
Ok so some of the list got cut off for some, there was alot more info in each sin but i wrote this out in word processor and copy/pasted it. Didnt transfer very well.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 4
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Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 9:39:25 PM
So as an overweight single Dad with no car how do you rate yourself and are you contacting women who are the same? Practising what you preach?? A lot of what you say is correct and anyone with a brain knows it. However if someone's looks don't appeal why should they overlook the fact and take a chance? Waste of time.....I dont think any woman is that desperate for instance. You can have all sorts of qualities but if we dont want to fcuck you, forget it.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 5
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 9:51:34 PM
Would you wear speedos when swimming at the pool on your date suggestion?
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 10:17:25 PM
nothing charms the ladies like condescension, right? that's how you got to be such an OLD expert?
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 7
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/14/2015 10:32:37 PM
lorct11:
Dont expect to move onto phone conversations right away people

Says WHO? That's your opinion. In fact, your entire list is your opinion.

I insist on a telephone conversation before meeting. I want to ask him a few questions first. Also I want to see if he sounds intelligent and articulate and has a good sense of humor.

Was he recently divorced? This is a showstopper. Newly divorced people tend to be commitment-phobic. I refuse to meet separated and newly divorced men.

Has he had a girlfriend since his divorce? I don't want to be the rebound girlfriend.

 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 8
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 3:15:06 AM

Sin #4: Dont set your standards so high of you are looking for.


Don't tell me how to manage my standards. *I* decide what's best for me.


For the woman. It may seem frustrating when your inbox is full of guys wanting just sex, yelling at you for turning them down or ignoring them but dont loose heart because in all that mess there are some good men to talk to. Most likely you pass them up, maybe you feel overwhelmed and you go on a delete spree. Try to give those guys a chance to not be in the middle of your delete spree.


I'll decide how to make incoming contacts.


Sin #7: Dont expect to move onto phone conversations right away people,


I'm not wasting my time on a time-taxing texter If he's serious, we'll move to the phone quickly and arrange a meet just as quickly.


For the last, this is for everyone. I'm not saying lower your standards so low that you end up meeting someone you really aren't attracted to but dont let looks alone stop you from talking to someone, try giving someone a chance that maybe 1 o


Why, people judge me on my looks, and either write to me because they like them or pass on because they don't. Why should I give everybody consideration who doesn't have the qualities and characteristics of a person I seek?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 5:57:44 AM
smh. You don't really understand the meaning of the word Sin OP
At least they aren't deadly sins. I don't get what you hope your rant will achieve. Seriously.
Most people feel you should move to a meet quickly - oops on that one. I guess you have committed a "sin"
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 10
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 6:44:19 AM


Dont expect to move onto phone conversations right away people


This is a load of crap. A few years ago, there might have been some validity to this, but I've mentioned before it's becoming increasingly common to see profiles from women where they state they're not looking for "pen pals" and are looking for men who are wanting to meet sooner rather than later.

And, oh, boy.....another POF "legend"? Get the f*ck out of here with that nonsense.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 11
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 7:17:53 AM

Dont set your standards so high of you are looking for.


Others covered the moving to phone conversation quite well, so I will move to this statement. I personally never lowered my standard. What you need to do as a guy is close your eyes and look at the the range of women you've dated on the past. THAT's your reality. If you want to move higher in that reality, you then have to understand the ecosystem of that person you want to approach. For instance, the ecosystem of a gym rat type of girl, it's very different than the echosystem of a fit girl that is into the outdoors. They may both look hot, very attractive, but while has that perfect fake tan, the other one can careless about that crap. The gym rat is going to look for men that can bench press a nuclear submarine any time. The outdoorsy girl will be looking for a man that has more of a philosophical out look in life and although fit, does not look tike the Hulk.

So, define your ecosystem. Then set your bar. So, for instance, I've always dated incredibly attractive, super model looking women and never had the need to lower my standard. With that said, as I have aged for instance, I leaned to appreciate a few wrinkles, and the things that women have as they age. So for instance a 20 something or even a 30 something woman does not attract me at all because all I see in one is immaturity (20s), or militant bio-clock working (30s). While a 40s woman is spiritually, physically and sexually more open.

The same can apply to women looking for men. But while women are also into a physical appearance, it has been my experience that given the choice between character and beauty, women will pick character 99% of the time.
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 12
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History
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 7:21:09 AM
That's a shame, lorc11....TEN years on dating websites and STILL you got no date!
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 13
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 1:15:56 PM
what other people should do to improve my online dating experience in eight easy lessons
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 14
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 1:28:45 PM

And, oh, boy.....another POF "legend"? Get the f*ck out of here with that nonsense.


No no no, Mr Pig, PLEASE tell me this is all a bad dream?

LMAO, Sins ON POF? Does the phrase "Glass houses" mean anything? Pfffft!
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 15
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 2:24:55 PM
My goodness OP. You got 'em going.

There isn't only one way. Lots of strategies work... a lot more don't. Going to phone is one of those are audience dependant suggestions. I believe LH because she is not one to endure prolonged drivel. I did well with a two email then phone policy because I messaged women who seemed to be focused and not very skittish. Of course, my way isn't for everybody. It would be useless with someone who was timid and investigative. Lots of women prefer to get the show on the road.
 kayla_58
Joined: 5/23/2015
Msg: 16
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 4:24:05 PM

Online dating can work under the right conditions, although i have got more dates offline then on


I doubt that I can adequately express my thoughts regarding the unassailable altruism that drives the motivation of men who take the time out of their own very busy offline dating lives to bestow their invaluable insight on the pathetic and obviously, unsuccessful, inhabitants of dating sites such as this one.



i have got more dates offline then on

P.S. Nothing from nothing leaves NOTHING.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 17
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History
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 7:11:27 PM
I decided to not irritate my glands.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 18
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 7:25:57 PM

Sins of pof


First of all, they are not "sins of POF", they are sins of USERS of POF.

POF is not the problem (except for the age restriction), the users are.


Just because shes showing cleavage doesn't mean shes on here for just sex.


True. She might be just here for the attention.


Yes/No/Maybe is for standardized tests


And for the "Meet Me" feature.


Dont set your standards so high of you are looking for


OK, fine.
I'll give that crack smoking, alcoholic welfare queen with 6 kids by 6 different men a chance after all.


Online dating can work under the right conditions,


Yes.
The right conditions being 2 mature people being honest, sincere, realistic, and reliable from Day 1.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 19
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 7:39:35 PM
Judging from the headline, I thought this was going to be a way more racy thread :(
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 20
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 8:44:00 PM
I was hoping for racy too, instead it was boring. Maybe someone can start a racy topic thread.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 21
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 9:03:11 PM
Yeah, right. Even starting a relatively benign thread opens onself up to all sorts of abuse. YOU start a racy thread :D
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 22
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/15/2015 9:15:17 PM


Online dating can work under the right conditions


Copious amounts of wine, witty banter and someone that lives alone...
 J3LV3HL_WV3JP
Joined: 4/5/2015
Msg: 23
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/16/2015 9:58:23 AM
Sin #9 - Never tell anyone what their sins are, or at least be prepared for the backlash.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:20:02 AM
There needs to be clarification of the term "phone conversation". For young people, phone conversation means texting. Past toddler age, they can't grasp the concept of using vocal cords and voice as a form of communication.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 25
Sins of pof
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:17:37 PM
^^^ I'm not young but there is a lot of texting going on in my age group too (thirties). I have learned that it's a very bad idea to communicate anything beyond the very basic such as "want me to get you anything at shoprite?" "no thanks" via text messages. Can't use them to talk about feelings or the relationship. Things get lost in translation too much... and when someone drops you and stops responding you start freaking over what it means? No, I try to stick to the phone these days.
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