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Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 1
"vegan" being passive aggesive Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So I have this friend who I got into a debate with recently regarding diets. I have a condition called ankylosing spondylitis and I am experiment with diets to try and get off my meds. which give me serious side effects and are very costly. So I was telling her how I was cutting out starches because they can trigger and make my flare ups worse.

She started to tell me I should try going back to being a vegetarian or a vegan. (about 5 years ago I watched earthlings the documentary, and it really shocked me and caused me to convert to vegetarianism for almost a year, then because I was feeling very weak and tired all the time so I slowly started eating meat again) My friend then said numerous times that she is "kinda surprised" that I started eating meat again after watching earthlings and doesn't understand how I could go back to being an omnivore after watching it. It felt like she was giving me a guilt trip.

The thing that bothered me is that she claims to be a vegan but she eats fish, and just started this diet a few months ago.. so I called her out on the fact that she's giving me a hard time for eating meat, when she is doing the exact same thing, and making it seem like I am the only person who has seen earthlings and started eating meat again.

When I brought this point up and the fact she hasn't seen the documentary herself she then said "well you want a dog as a pet, how can you have a dog as a pet and go on eating other animals"

At this point I just started to get really annoyed, I didn't even know how to respond to this It just made me mad.. Would anyone else out there get really frustrated with someone like this?? I have lots of other friends who are vegans and vegetarians and never have they made me feel uncomfortable like this before.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/25/2015 5:46:36 PM
Well, your response to her obviously has more to do with your feelings, your desires, and your motivations for communicating with her, than it does to the subject matter.

If this were a total stranger, or a work acquaintance, their snottiness about your eating patterns wouldn't upset you.

In addition, most people who DO get riled up by someone who challenges them with nonsense like that, are actually uncomfortable about something in their own life already. The person annoying them is only triggering an existing touchy area in their psyche.

The thing to work on isn't how to argue with HER, it's to work out what about yourself bothers YOU.

The first thing I'd ponder if I were in your place, is the fact that your malady causes you to doubt your own judgment about foods and so on. Because you are in doubt, it's more difficult to answer someone who "has it all worked out," because even though you feel strongly that they are wrong, your doubt makes you uncomfortable with saying so, and reduces your confidence in refuting them entirely. You will tend to get mad at themselves and at yourself at the same time, and be unclear as to who your mad at for exactly what.
Joined: 4/14/2015
Msg: 3
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/25/2015 7:44:59 PM

At this point I just started to get really annoyed, I didn't even know how to respond to this It just made me mad.. Would anyone else out there get really frustrated with someone like this??

No, I have a low tolerance for lazy and stupid people, so I would not voluntarily put myself through that.
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 4
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/25/2015 7:57:07 PM
Some things aren't worth arguing over. No I wouldn't let myself get frustrated. Why do you let your self get frustrated?
The biggest prob I'd have is that she is trying to tell you what you should do, like she knows your health issues better than you.
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 5
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/25/2015 8:23:09 PM
Would anyone else out there get really frustrated with someone like this??

Oh sure
I walk away
I don't let anyone or anything, whether it be a movie or a book or something said dictate how I think, feel or live my life. I pay attention to me and me only.
Igor is correct. The fact that this bothered you that much says more than the issue itself.
Might want to explore (within) why.
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 6
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/26/2015 7:55:11 AM
your friend is one of those 'ethical' vegetarians, but she doesn't care about the suffering of innocent fish because she wants to eat them. how nice. she doesn't care that fish are being jabbed with sharp objects and being forced to suffocate, because tasty fish! why don't you put a fork in her ass and shove her head into a bucket of water until she can no longer go without breathing and see how she likes it?

do you see how that works? I can't stand this kind of sanctimonious twattery, especially since I went through a phase like that myself in my early 20s. it's obnoxious. animals have been eating each other for how many millions of years now? they are never delicate about it. so who or what is going to punish you for eating meat? or do you get extra credit for being a vegetarian because humans can indulge themselves with magical thinking? god's favorite, special rules. will you punish yourself subconsciously? or is the idea more like your friend's, that other people should be browbeaten and punished for eating meat, and it's her self-appointed mission to make sure that happens?

why I oughtta..... she needs to be fish-slapped!

the dog comment makes no sense. why would anyone not eat meat because they have a dog? maybe I should force my dogs to be vegetarians so I can have a clear conscience cuz I won't have to buy 50-pound sacks of meat product. oh, the horror. what's next, cats locked indoors so they can't kill innocent, defenseless birds!... living on tofu crumbles. even though tofu is much more innocent and defenseless than birds are. : /

just decide for yourself why you eat what you eat. be clear about your own reasons. be a conscious eater, not a mindless consumer who is following a fad, a propaganda film or a weird guilt trip. don't let other people do your thinking for you. if you have ethical concerns, then there are alternatives to factory farming and they aren't hard to find. most major grocery stores carry a few of these products, but if you can find an independent specialty grocer in your area, the selection will be better and so will the quality, probably. besides, local producers get to stay in business when you buy their products instead of something shipped in from a mega-farm in who knows where.

or just learn to hunt and kill your own meat. please do not shoot your neighbor's goat, that would be rude.
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 7
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 6/27/2015 1:57:39 PM
I wanted to fish slap her!

Thanks for all the replies
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 8
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/1/2015 2:20:11 PM
Maybe she's just a vegan who cheats. Also known as a cheatatarian. There are different levels and strictness for vegetarians.

Vegans follow diet plans even more restrictive than a vegetarian. Vegetarians allow for dairy and egg products. Vegans don't. Neither will eat meat. If I go to restaurants and thinking about ordering soup, I will always ask what's the base stock made from because often it will be chicken or beef stock. If it is, I won't eat the soup. Oddly, my cousin who's a vegetarian doesn't take it that far.

A pescatarian is a vegetarian who allows seafood in their diet (but not meat). I'm a pescatarian and it sounds like your friend is also.

But is it worth arguing about? I don't go off on rampages on people around me who eat meat. Everyone has their choices and sometimes health dictates it. You found yourself sluggish without meat and went back to eating it. Pick your battles. Arguing the different stages of vegetarianism isn't the biggest issue facing most people today.
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 9
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/4/2015 2:12:57 AM
“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter-faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn.

To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It's healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I've worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold.

Oh, I'll accomodate them, I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a 'vegetarian plate', if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine.”
― Anthony Bourdain
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 10
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/7/2015 1:46:38 AM
"Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit"

"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man." -- The Big Lebowski.

I like ex-drug-addict Bourdain's TV shows a lot, but he's dead wrong here. Industrial mammal food is a systemic horror, an environmental disaster.

It ain't just about what one puts in the mouth, taste, cuisine culture.
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 11
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/23/2015 1:19:18 PM
Cant trust anyone that wont eat an animal once in a while.
Makes ya dam grumpy as hell, I did it a few years myself. Vegan and vegetarian..Dam misery I tell ya.
What 2 days of beef can do for a woman is a miracle.

instead of worrying about how annoying she is.......
YOU need to be concerned with yourself and eating an anti inflammatory diet full of alkaline forming minerals( high in green veggies and low in animal flesh) You can enjoy your beef * whatever* on occasion.
Enjoy a huge seaweed w grated ginger cole slaw salad and have that chicken . Yard bird is fabulous.
Their eggs are even better.
Drink green drinks and get on high doses of quality omaga 3's and sulfur ( pure MSM is a great form)

Good luck to you and start researching the alkaline lifestyle along with food combining and how it heals.
Read Alkaline by H aihara after reading Your Health Your Choice by Dr Ted Morter jr as it will start you off in laymans terms.
Animal flesh in itself isn't your/our enemy, its quality, how much and the balance of vegetables, good fats esp plant fats, veggies, nuts/seeds. Food determines your ability to help heal yourself as much as you can.
FOODS heal.
Joined: 4/18/2015
Msg: 12
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 8/6/2015 6:00:51 PM
Do what works for you. I get it - however - I also notice the non meat eater people have a tendency to get a little loopy. If she's annoying - make a new friend and concentrate on your health and well being.
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 13
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 8/24/2015 2:27:00 AM
You mentioned that she's relatively new at it, so probably in the pedantic stage of things. And I understand why the comments would irk you, there's the implication that you were too weak to continue or failed at it. Who wants to be told that? Some people don't do well on a vegan diet though, there's no shame in that.

I've been vegan for a few years now and have never felt better in the whole of my existence. To each their own though!
Joined: 7/7/2015
Msg: 15
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 9/5/2015 8:45:35 PM
She might have mistakenly took your condition to be causally related to animal consumption. I think she might not be fully informed as to what your condition is nor what constitutes a Vegetarian/Vegan; I've never heard of a Vegan eating fish. I've heard of Vegetarians eating fish and chicken and some animal byproducts but never strict Vegans. If anything was animal tested or made from animals Vegans would have nothing to do with it.
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 16
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/2/2017 10:12:52 PM
There is a current thread running in Relationships... concerning Vegan. A clearly clueless man trying adamantly to convince a woman to become a Vegan.

A lot of "quesionable input" there. Few people that I know, can control their weight with JUST EXERCISE. Diet will usually play a part if not a big part of maintaining a good weight.

A SHARP person will try different diets till they find the one that works best for them.

SHARP people will also STICK to an eating plan when they find one that works.

THE very best diet out there?

Whatever type of eating plan works for you.
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 17
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 7/3/2017 6:02:07 AM
My husband is a retired Chiropractor- I used to be a medical billing mgr. who specialized in Chiropractic claims (how we met)
I recognized the condition & asked him about the Dx & is what he says:

"It's a chronic inflammation of the spine. So the vegan diet may not help- it's a genetic thing. It's an auto-immune disorder."

My 2 cents- I have R.A. & if I want to reduce inflammation, I follow a low-carb diet- seems to help. In the past I was a vegetarian & even went vegan at times. My diet as a V/v was def. higher in carbs & was not as effective in reducing inflammation as a paleo type diet.

Many V/v's like to claim "their way of eating" solves all problems. Well it is more humane, IMO to be animal free, but not necessarily the best or easiest thing to follow in a carnivorous society.
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 18
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 11/20/2017 10:14:54 AM

"well you want a dog as a pet, how can you have a dog as a pet and go on eating other animals"

That's incredibly silly. Your friend is an idiot, sorry to say. If you were eating dogs, then that'd come into play. Dogs eat meat, we eat meat. Naturally, we're built to eat a little meat, but in Western culture we eat too much of it.
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 19
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 12/1/2017 9:03:33 PM
Dogs are carnivores. There are some @holes that feed them a vegetarian diet. The best a person can do is find humane sources for their food.

Wilkes, carbs/starch feeds inflammation.
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 20
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/20/2018 6:14:20 AM
Fish is meat.

I had an abused foster dog I received when she was 10 years old with many health issues. I put her on a grain free vegetarian diet and she flourished until 2 months shy of 18.
So bullocks on "dogs cant be vegetarians and healthy".Unless the *meat products* that are in commercial dog food is human grade, its crap.I would bet those that say dogs should eat meat feed their dogs non-human grade food.

Call me an azzhole, Im devastated by it.* sniff*
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 21
vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/20/2018 12:07:49 PM
Pepps, I agree that dogs can be vegetarians. Like humans, dogs are omnivores. Their bodies can produce all the essential amino acids from a plant-based diet. Not cats. They are true carnivores, and need to have meat.
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 22
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/21/2018 11:17:41 PM
Peppermint, dogs are facultive carnivores. Cats are obligate. My dog eats raw, human grade, hormone & antibiotic-free meat & bone and organic meat & bone, which I base on years of research. I've read a lot of books, but there's also a ton of articles online if you wanted to avail yourself. So we have a difference of opinion. Good for you for fostering the dog!
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 23
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/22/2018 2:23:03 AM

What 2 days of beef can do for a woman is a miracle.

I couldn't agree more...
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 24
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/22/2018 5:34:42 PM
Chocolate for you! "Lady Sings the Blues", on the Movie channel, something you may get if you use an antenna. Monday, 29th:
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 25
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 1/25/2018 3:50:55 AM
I wonder if the dog comment was in connection
to the Yulin dogmeat festival?

I personally would be looking for a new friend.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 26
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vegan being passive aggesive
Posted: 10/7/2018 4:24:47 PM
Why respond at all? Why argue about it?

Eat what you want. Let them eat what they want. Neither of you owes an explanation to the other.
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