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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.      Home login  
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 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 1
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.Page 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
I have two things to discuss here:

1) I like to inform people if they appear to have made an error on their profile that might reduce their chances of meeting someone to love them forever and ever. But here's where I get stumped: When a guy's profile says he's under five feet tall. What if I point out this error and it's actually true? But I know it can't have been true EVERY time I've seen it. Yes, these are the sorts of things I spend my time worrying about.

2) Having said this, I feel the need to address all the hellabulloo about men and height. Granted, if you're under five feet tall, as you've probably discovered, there could be some practical considerations. Otherwise, pretty much the only time most women could give a flying f*ck about your height is in online dating, where everything is broken down into otherwise often irrelevant little categories. I found myself getting caught up in this for awhile before I decided to give my head a shake.

Here's what: One summer in my thirties I dated this guy with a really caristhmatic (sp?) personality. He also happened to be a musician and would compose his own music. (He had a truly beautiful voice, but that's beside the point.) One time he was playing and singing a song he'd written and the lyrics said something about his being five foot four. Before that I hadn't noticed that he was shorter than me. Naturally, I didn't care. But later, with online dating, I found that when someone's profile would appeal to me I wouldn't message him if he was under 5'11". I wonder how common it is for people to lose sight of what they really care about due to the mechanisms of online dating?
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 2
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 7:03:26 PM
Why would you be concerned? It's somebody else's profile, let them worry about it. I'd be pretty pissed if someone wrote to me to point out errors in my profile even if I had them.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 3
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 7:06:19 PM
I don't pay attention to height. During the first year I moved to Philly, I dated a woman that was 4'-8". I am 6'-4". We walked everywhere holding hands, people stared at us, it didn't bother me.

I don't mind either if someone point out an error on my profile.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 4
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 7:10:08 PM
One time I checked the wrong race by mistake. In that case, I did not mind that someone pointed it out to me.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 5
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 7:10:17 PM
Double post.
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 6
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 7:17:49 PM
I think some folks screw up the metric measurements. JMO. I've seen 4 feet tall and I've seen them 8 feet tall. And it doesn't take much to click the wrong button.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 7
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 8:23:08 PM
there's a post about profiles that only say, "ask me". I responded with, "if the pictures on the profile showed an ugly person, you wouldn't care about a lazy, short profile." In the thread asking about who pays for what, I likely said something about how looks cover a multitude of sins.

If people are lonely and like what they see...errors, red flags, and other assundrum get ignored. do people really ignore a good catch, over some simple error? perhaps they do. but, if someone has their knickers in a twist over height, are they really a good dating choice? they might do me a favor by ignoring me, over some small thing. I might be a great catch...but not for them.

in honesty, tho, a decade ago I would have said, "where the hell is my damn relationship!?" I was alone since 18, and darn it, i'm getting old and I want to share with someone. now I go, "why do I want someone f@#$ing up my wonderful schedule?" :P some days, I listen to the complaints and think, "well if you dated me, you'd be with a good guy." other days I think, "i'm glad you're not with me, b/c I think I can see from here why you don't choose good guys". everything comes with a cost, and frankly, some people are worth one thing (sex, free dinner, whatever) but not the price that has to be paid for it.

as for other things in life, yes, many times we pass up a good opportunity, in search of a golden one. I can think of things I would have enjoyed having (OK, cars) if only I had back then the spare time, or the spare money, or the spare location. I didn't feel like making a sacrifice. had I resources to spare, I would have gone in, but I didn't want to take away resources from other opportunities I enjoyed.

i'm sure i'm not the only one who will have this lament.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 8
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 8:33:45 PM

1) I like to inform people if they appear to have made an error on their profile that might reduce their chances of meeting someone to love them forever and ever. But here's where I get stumped: When a guy's profile says he's under five feet tall. What if I point out this error and it's actually true? But I know it can't have been true EVERY time I've seen it. Yes, these are the sorts of things I spend my time worrying about


LMAO...I have faced the exact same quandary! Do you email the guy and ask, "Are you really 5'1"? " What if he says yes?

Yes, I am shallow enough not want to date a man four inches shorter than I am.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 9
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 8:41:36 PM
eh, I see it as computer information and should be detail orientated. Like a resume or applying for a job. I guess I notice those things, and yeppers, if you lie to me, I'm done.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 10
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:24:16 PM
I no longer message women.

I get about 10 messages a week.

At least 2 are physically a 6.

If I get a vibe that your vagina is the holy grail? I'm done. (i.e. venue changers, etc.)

Good luck and good riddance...

No chasing my tail any longer :)
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 11
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 9:34:13 PM
^ You are a funny skittish little thing ;)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 10:05:56 PM
Clooneys,


What does that mean, "at least 2 are physically a 6?" What are the others on your rating scale? Are you saying you would not consider a 6???? You do know that a woman who is an 8-9 wont message you first
and may well be a fake anyway.

I wonder how you would rate yourself? Do men include their material assets in their appeal rating?

In my experience men tend to over-estimate their physical appeal and women are more likely to under-estimate theirs. It is the only reason I can think of when 3-4 men approach 7-8 women and expect success. However it is all subjective anyway, thank goodness.

 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 13
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/28/2015 11:21:39 PM
Except for the fact that he refers to a rating system.

Clooney and a few others on here are 10.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 14
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 4:59:04 AM

When a guy's profile says he's under five feet tall. What if I point out this error and it's actually true?

but isn't an occasional moment of embarrassment a small price to pay for saving so many others from being alone forever and ever?


I wonder how common it is for people to lose sight of what they really care about due to the mechanisms of online dating?

it would be impossible to say, but my guess is that most people value their freedom to say 'no' more than they value speculating about the fanciful circumstances they might have missed out on by doing that. so there isn't this nagging sense of loss.

'losing sight of what you care about' sounds more like a downward spiral into alcoholism or drug abuse than being too picky for your own good on a dating site, IMO. but that's probably because I don't take online dating very seriously.

speaking of being too picky, i usually find more important reasons to not be interested in someone, so height is enough of a non-issue for me that i almost never remember to look at it.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 15
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 5:13:38 AM

Are you really 5'1"? " What if he says yes?


I often wonder if small details like this are one of the reasons another poster never gets messages or dates, as his height is listed as 32' 9". :/
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 6:26:53 AM

i usually find more important reasons to not be interested in someone, so height is enough of a non-issue for me that i almost never remember to look at it.
same
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 17
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:07:33 AM
caristhmatic (sp?)
charismatic

If you're not sure and they have a photo or two, perhaps you can get an idea of height by the photos.

It's something I like in a man - height, that is, but not something that I would consider important enough to not date him.

Emailing to correct other people's profiles -- I'd hesitate to do that.
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 18
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:32:11 AM
I made that same mistake -- asking a guy about his height when he messaged me. His profile said he was 6'8". I thought for sure that had to be a mistake. It was not. First time I've ever turned down a guy for being too tall lol
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 19
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 9:38:01 AM
Sometimes I MSG people telling them about an obvious mistake in their profile. But it has to be obvious.

Once I contacted a woman and told her she looked really good for her age of 99, she looked to be 35. I thought she put in 99 to exclude herself from searches and make it easier to contract only those she wanted to. Before POF had the restriction, we traded MSGs for awhile.


I wonder how common it is for people to lose sight of what they really care about due to the mechanisms of online dating?


IMO is solely depends on how big is your dating pool. If a lot of people contact you, then you get more picky about your preferences. In Thailand I would exclude women over 40, dating in the USA I wouldn't exclude anyone based on age. So I think it applies equally to men and women.

Women give a flying f*ck about your height as much IRL as online. It's especially obvious in a bar setting. With OLD you never even get the chance of making a first impression if you are excluded based on filters.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 20
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 10:17:14 AM
People that don't want to be noticed online do all kinds of things to avoid attention. There's plenty of women out there that want a taller guy, so they list their own height at 5' 9" or 5' 10" so the shorter guys avoid them. A few pics of them standing near a car or a doorway and you know that 'scaling' isn't exactly right. Some smoking hot women that get bombarded with messages will change their body type to "BBW" to avoid attention. A guy changing his height to something short is an easy way to avoid searchers' attention. Removing the main profile photo makes a profile disappear too - but you would still have to upload it again if you want to go 'visible' later.

We ALL have the ability to change up our preferences for what we desire or what we search for in these sites - we just REFUSE to do it out of habit or laziness or fear. That's why changing one key search element can make a profile 'disappear' without changing anything else. People's vanity for what they believe is 'required' for a decent match means they simply won't be looking 'below' a certain level, even if the photos are still attractive or familiar.
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 21
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 10:29:44 AM
As has been discussed on here numerous times....people have the right to choose their
preferences.
But I was like you..WMB....If It looked like an honest mistake...I would message them.
One fellow...had a womans picture up...lol. He said his niece set it up for him and must have
been doing a hoax on him....so he appreciated it.
Spelling errors...drive me nuts...especially in the headline...Looking for a goog woman...wth?

I do have a tendency to make fun of the obvious liars...especially the ones challenged by not knowing the year they
were born..... "age is wrong....sorry"
Been known to....point and laugh but after a warning from headquarters....I had to quit that...lol.
I have never seen more 54 year olds in my life. A man gets extra points for being honest...with me.
Both of them are number 1 in my books.... ;)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 22
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 1:06:04 PM
Nobody has found a need to message me directly about profile issues, but after a first attempt to contact - I've gotten plenty of messages scolding me (in great detail) why I am definitely NOT a match for them. Nice. Kind of surprising they can type so much in a message when their profile text is barely two sentences. The only error I committed was bothering to make an attempt. The only error they made was hiding theirs.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 1:15:19 PM
I correct people on the review forum. Few times I corrected a man who had msged well they always get crunchy. Always given a flying f about height as I am so tall - there is some Brit saying " cup and saucer" or something.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 24
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/29/2015 3:12:47 PM
1. F*ck 'em, their problem. I have wondered about some profiles but I'm not into correcting other people's mistakes, when I don't even correct my own *muttley laugh*

2. I have tons of reasons why he has to be 5'9-6'1:

a. I can kneel right in front of him and my mouth and his ding dong are perfectly aligned, no heels needed, no squatting needed, no pillow needed, nothing, it's perfect as it is.

b. That height allows for his breath to totally miss me as we speak, so he can eat anything he wants, I won't smell it unless I kiss him. Someone around your height would be speaking straight into your face and you won't be able to avoid his breath, lol. Been there, done that.

c. His height covers me, so we can be doing questionable activities in public and if they are looking at him from behind, they wouldn't be able to tell there is someone in front of him.

d. You have a better reach to his ding dong than he does, from behind, it feels like a different angle.

e. He can reach things I cannot, like the items they put on the high shelves in the supermarkets and stores that sell items in bulk.

f. He can tell me there is something on my hair or my shoulders because he can see over me, no mirror needed.

g. In the case of pregnancy, I'd only have to half-worry that the child may be short.

I could go on but when you're used to something, it's hard to deviate. Do not underestimate the reasons for your choices.

We all have preferences because there are people we'd date and then there are people with whom we'd take it all the way.


I wonder how common it is for people to lose sight of what they really care about due to the mechanisms of online dating?

Very easy, there are a lot of people I would consider dating who I happen to have gotten to know through other people, who I wouldn't give a chance in hell had I come across them online. For example, there's this Indian guy (very Americanized) who I would date, he's pretty cool, very smart, fashionable and down to earth. If I had seen him online (which I did after I met him, lol), I wouldn't give him a chance because I'd automatically assume he speaks with an accent I'm likely not going to be able to understand.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 25
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 6/30/2015 5:57:34 AM
Some types of 'Indian' people are more 'Americanized' than ALL of us. 'Course that could mean they live on welfare or have alcoholism issues. Pfffft! Yeah - online dating has a way of bringing out THE WORST assumptions on the planet.

I try to end my bad assumptions with the same stereotypical biker chick crowd that seems to show their faces every summer, because they gotta have a hobby or something during the winter, right? It's tough to imagine sometimes that they do have lives aside from what they are 'performing' for their dating profiles, but one has to keep an open mind to the possibilities - as much as they are afraid of it.
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