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 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 1
Profile ReviewPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi there. I am new to the forums and have been browsing some of the profile reviews (I hope I'm posting in the right section, I'm not really sure how to navigate this site). I've seen a lot of good feedback/input and was hoping to receive the same. I know I should have more pictures of me doing something fun, but whenever I'm out, picture taking suddenly becomes a major task so I just stopped asking to avoid conflict. I send and receive messages to people but it seems the conversations dissipate quickly. Perhaps there is something in my profile that is causing this to happen? I appreciate any input you can provide.
 Deedeelogan
Joined: 12/1/2013
Msg: 2
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 11:09:10 AM
Overall the profile is pretty good and if you're getting responses then you know you're on the right track. With the introduction of the POF app there are a lot of looky loos here now, testing the water, bored at work, and what have you so that's why you're seeing conversations fizzle out. You should know after a few messages if this is someone you might be interested in and one of you should suggest a phone conversation and if things go well then meet up somewhere like Starbucks or another comfortable public place. This whole process should take no more than a week. You don't want a pen pal, you want a relationship.

Your photos are fine. Just switch them around as you get more current ones. Rotate the main photo occasionally.

Your caption headline is: !

An exclamation mark is as good as you can come up with? Really? Come on. Put something fun in there.

Your profession: Is exhausting!!!

Anytime we see something that is not a real profession listed here its pretty much code on POF for unemployed. You might think that was witty but a man sees an unemployed gold digger and clicks on the next profile.

You have a nice selection of interests.

Your About Me is pretty good. Just add things in as you think them up. However you have one thing on your About Me that makes you look like a huge fool and you should remove this:

"Warning--any person and/or institution using this website or any of its associated websites, you do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile information nor any of the content contained herein including but not limited to my photos. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee(s), agent(s), student(s) or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private and legally privileged and confidential information, violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law."

Think about this for a minute. Do you really think any person or institution that is going to scam photos or content off an online dating site is going to give a crap that you wrote that and take notice? Yeah right. It just makes you look foolish. The Internet makes it easy to plagiarize stuff and there's not much you can do about it not matter how much you write about any violations will be punishable by law. Come on, just delete that so you don't look like a fool.

What are you looking for in a man? The About Me is the place to talk about that.

Good luck.
 LegendofPOF
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 3
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 11:42:28 AM

Hi there. I am new to the forums and have been browsing some of the profile reviews (I hope I'm posting in the right section, I'm not really sure how to navigate this site). I've seen a lot of good feedback/input and was hoping to receive the same. I know I should have more pictures of me doing something fun, but whenever I'm out, picture taking suddenly becomes a major task so I just stopped asking to avoid conflict. I send and receive messages to people but it seems the conversations dissipate quickly. Perhaps there is something in my profile that is causing this to happen? I appreciate any input you can provide.


It's not your pics or your profile that's a problem as you are getting and receiving replies. You are attractive so it doesn't really matter if you have pictures jumping off a cliff into water etc. If your profile isn't broke. Don't try to fix it.

One of the reasons conversations fade out could be the people get busy. I talk to a lot of people on the main site and sometimes don't reply right away, or I have something to do etc.

It could also be depending on how good looking the guys you are talking to may be getting a lot of other messages/offers from "better" looking women, could even be fake profiles and the real person is just "testing" to see if women mostly respond to the best looking in shape guys, or they could be the real person and be insecure. Maybe really unemployed, or are using OLD pictures. I've heard from MANY women on the main site who've met guys who show up older, shorter, heavier than their pics. If you DO go to the phone and text send them a recent pic of yourself and ask they do the same. (No pics already on profile) If they send only a profile pic and can't take a quick selfie? Drop them. If they send something stupid AKA perverted. Obviously drop them.

Don't waste time chatting for too long. I'm telling you. IF you are giving the whole story up front you kill your mystery. Like T.V series give episode by episode not the whole series in one show to keep viewers tuned in.

What I recommend is to do a few back and forth replies to save time and typing, time wasters, frauds etc.

After about FOUR max back and forth messages tell them: You seem like a pretty cool guy. Would you care to exchange numbers and talk offline? I'm off and on here. Leave me your number and I'll text you mine in a few. (your real first name). =)

This IMMEDIATELY cuts to the chase. No more wasting time with cyber "romance", no time wasting, less typing online, and it will for the most part weed out the possibly married as they WON'T leave their number thinking you might call them at the wrong time. (It's still not a guarantee but usually married people who pretend to be single will stall or not reply or waste time.) Those who are only interested in cyber "romance" will try to keep it online (could be insecure, not the person etc.).

You don't have time for that nonsense.

Go for FOUR TOPS back and forth messages. Tell them again:

You seem like a pretty cool guy. Would you care to exchange numbers and talk offline? I'm off and on here. Leave me your number and I'll text you mine in a few. (your real first name). =)

Send that.with the smiley. You still have to weed them out over the phone as they could be fake etc. And make SURE they send you a selfie, or RECENT pic. Anything else? They are either using OLD pictures of themselves, they aren't who they say they are etc. (I've heard it from MANY women on the main site of people showing up different. Not all. But a lot. One guy even used pictures of his SON and ADMITTED it to the person when they met.) So just a heads up


I have done that on here always. If someone stalls or doesn't send their number after a few quick exchanges? I drop them. if they act foolish on the phone or won't send a picture? The number gets deleted and I answer more people.

Otherwise you are going to drive yourself insane. Quick and efficient. It's not your profile or pictures.
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 4
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 1:45:15 PM
Thanks for the insight. I agree that four messages is more than enough to set up a meeting. I've heard the crazy stories about people not looking like their picture. I always wonder, "What on earth do they say to the person when they meet them?!!" I figured the reason guys "disappear" was due to a better, younger profile. Such is life I suppose. Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my profile and give me some advice!
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 5
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 1:56:04 PM
Great advice. I had put the "legality clause" in after seeing it on others profiles (I was being a sheep). I have removed that from my profile. I didn't realize my headline was only an exclamation point, it was supposed to read, "Life's a song...." The quote is finished on the first line of my profile, "listen to the lyrics." Music is my thing....but if you think it's a put off I can try to be more creative.

It never occurred to me that "My Profession" might portray me as a gold digger or unemployed. I'll have to be more creative. I don't like to post my profession publicly (it's nothing lewd or secretive; just my preference). Thank you so much for taking the time to review my profile! It's greatly appreciated!
 LegendofPOF
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 6
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 2:24:47 PM

Thanks for the insight. I agree that four messages is more than enough to set up a meeting. I've heard the crazy stories about people not looking like their picture. I always wonder, "What on earth do they say to the person when they meet them?!!" I figured the reason guys "disappear" was due to a better, younger profile. Such is life I suppose. Thank you so much for taking the time to look at my profile and give me some advice!


People don't believe me either. lol Ain't nobody got time to sit on here messaging all day, night, week, doing email ping pong and having a fantasy "romance" online.

That's another thing. I've heard that so many times it's ridiculous. People using years old pictures, others pictures, showing up shorter than stated, heavier, older, when they were in shape. I lost count at how many people I heard that from on the main site.

Problem is most are STILL going for the tops in looks. Getting catfished etc. Not that going for attractiveness is a bad thing but most are ONLY worried about that first and foremost and anything else is "settling".

A lot of guys just hope they don't notice and their "personality" will win them over. I've heard the same thing with women doing the same.

It's not just better and younger profiles. Not that they are even meeting THOSE people even IF they respond. You don't know if that same guy is actually INSECURE even IF his pictures may be him, he may be socially awkward, may not even be employed and feel embarrassed, could be living at home, and so they won't even meet the "better" people.

You just have to cut the BS with them QUICK and efficiently. After the four exchanges send that message aboout exchanging numbers and keeep it moving. They either send and then you screen them on the phone, next on a meet, etc, or they don't send it and figure they have their own issues IF it's even them in the pictures, or using old pictures and embarrassed etc.

You don't know but it's not your problem.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 7
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 4:51:27 PM
It looks fine to me. Better written than the vast majority out there. And nothing wrong with your pics... except maybe the blurred out face of your 11 yo. [Just a guess] I just don't see any REAL danger but then again I don't have any trouble with hats, sunglasses, cars, motorcycles, inlaws/friends or dead animals or all thse other things people love to gripe about. Despite some of PoF's dumb rules concerning pics, shouldn't people post pics that reflect the real them/what's important in their lives? Not sure WHY you pulled the only full length pic you had up [just in the last hour] It DID look completely congruent with your current pics. Perhaps you are working on putting a date on it? Additionally, that pic clearly demonstrated that either thin OR athletic would be a better fit for you than "average" at least here in the USA. [Look at just a handful of your competition in Tampa and you will easily see the "abuse" of what ladies list as average]

I would also list something specific for a first meet so the guy doesn't have to guess. A stroll on Bayshore/bite to eat at the Colonade is an obvious easy choice with good food and nice ambiance plus it's casual and has reasonable prices. Verizon park is another excellent place. Centrally located, very public, and a great place for pics. And has an area for pooches too.

Lastly and most importantly, I personally think 4 messages are about 2 too many for whatever it's worth. [And good for you for initiating] Regardless of who initiates, I think getting to the phone ASAP [or just cutting to the chase and meeting] is the quickest and easiest way to gauge true intent and determine just how genuine the person is in their profile. And... I think over the phone OR F2F is when it might be beneficial/necessary to disclose your profession IF and ONLY if you feel comfortable. A prepaid "basic" cellphone is usually free and at 10 cents a minute is a very easy route to at least the first "worry free" phone conversation.

At least you don't seem to have let the Rays "performance" in the last month or so sour your attitude but it might be time to break out the forks and cue up the "fat lady". And maybe hope that Mr Winston and the Bucs don't embarrass the whole City this year like they did last year.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 8
Profile Review
Posted: 7/29/2015 5:17:46 PM
My Bad and too late to edit. Your full length pic is back/never left? At any rate, a date on it would be a plus in your favor.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 9
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 7:50:28 AM
Your biggest problem is not with your profile. It's the fact that you have not met me yet.
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 10
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:10:36 AM
Wow, the thought never occurred to me that they may not even be the person in the picture. That's pretty scary. I suppose you can be whoever you want to be behind the safety walls the Internet provides.
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 11
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:11:25 AM
Thanks for the advice, I put a date with my picture.
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 12
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:12:49 AM
I haven't met you yet, but I've read a lot of your posts and found myself cracking up. Thanks for putting a smile on my face!
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 13
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:15:51 AM
Oh, and I hear ha about the Rays. Another disappointing loss last night :( but I'm loyal. I really hope Jameis matures and can put the past behind him!
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 14
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:41:40 AM
I hope I'm posting these correctly, I'm clicking reply to your posts but it seems to be "lumping" them together. There was someone who messaged back and forth a few times. I suggested we meet since I had some free time this week and he had asked to meet previously. We exchanged numbers and he called me. The conversation went something like this, "I'm not sure what you're looking for but I'm not interested in raising somebody else's kid." I wanted to say...seriously? But I was polite and said I'm not looking for someone to raise my son, he is already being raised by his mother and father." Did I leave something out of my profile? I clearly mention I have kids, state their age, and even state their father is involved/responsible! He later texted to apologize for hurting my feelings. I told him he didn't hurt my feelings, he simply stated what he wants/doesn't want in life. He should have apologized for wasting my time! I suppose this is an example of what you've been describing to me.
 LegendofPOF
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 15
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:47:11 AM
It's not 100% guaranteed to happen but I've heard from a LOT of women of guys showing up shorter than stated, heavier, older and a few looking nothing like their pictures.

Just when you get them on the phone send them a text with a recent pic of you (not on your pof but a normal obviously) and ask them to send you a recent pic of them. If they stall or send something off their profile? There should be no excuse to not have a recent pic or take a selfie quick or even later on. If they never do I would take it they're either using old pictures, someone else, etc as I personally have never had a problem getting a recent pic or sending one as soon as I text a person my number.

Some profiles look like obvious fakes others are a little more difficult to tell.

I mean you could literally as a guy if you wanted to search in another state and find some jacked bodybuilder guy profile, copy his pictures, crop them a bit so they can't be found, make up a fake profile in YOUR area and then pretend you are that person. Same with women. I've seen profiles that are in NO WAY from NYC. The person looks "good" the photos aren't "modeled" on the net, they're a regular attractive person in real non photo shoot photos but the only thing is NONE are from the area they claim to be in.

So even if the pictures on profiles look "legit" at times look at the background. If someone says they're in Florida but NONE of their pictures are or look like it and they look a little "too good" to be true? They might be someone catfishing with someone else pictures. It's still not a guarantee they are as they could have just moved but if you talk to them on the phone and they CANNOT provide a picture that they are indeed in your state at the time? I'd drop them immediately as it's highly likely they aren't who is in the pictures.

No need to freak out. Just try to verify before you possibly get catfished etc. There's a lot of nonsense going on POF and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

You may find you never have problems though. Depends.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 16
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:52:42 AM


I haven't met you yet, but I've read a lot of your posts and found myself cracking up. Thanks for putting a smile on my face!


They say laughter is the best medicine, and well, I will bring out the hyena in you.




I hope I'm posting these correctly, I'm clicking reply to your posts but it seems to be "lumping" them together. There was someone who messaged back and forth a few times. I suggested we meet since I had some free time this week and he had asked to meet previously. We exchanged numbers and he called me. The conversation went something like this, "I'm not sure what you're looking for but I'm not interested in raising somebody else's kid." I wanted to say...seriously? But I was polite and said I'm not looking for someone to raise my son, he is already being raised by his mother and father." Did I leave something out of my profile? I clearly mention I have kids, state their age, and even state their father is involved/responsible! He later texted to apologize for hurting my feelings. I told him he didn't hurt my feelings, he simply stated what he wants/doesn't want in life. He should have apologized for wasting my time! I suppose this is an example of what you've been describing to me.


This guy was clearly a schmuck, and I am not. You look like a city girl, and I'm a city boy, but I think you need a pet pig in your life.
 LegendofPOF
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 17
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 11:54:01 AM

I hope I'm posting these correctly, I'm clicking reply to your posts but it seems to be "lumping" them together. There was someone who messaged back and forth a few times. I suggested we meet since I had some free time this week and he had asked to meet previously. We exchanged numbers and he called me. The conversation went something like this, "I'm not sure what you're looking for but I'm not interested in raising somebody else's kid." I wanted to say...seriously? But I was polite and said I'm not looking for someone to raise my son, he is already being raised by his mother and father." Did I leave something out of my profile? I clearly mention I have kids, state their age, and even state their father is involved/responsible! He later texted to apologize for hurting my feelings. I told him he didn't hurt my feelings, he simply stated what he wants/doesn't want in life. He should have apologized for wasting my time! I suppose this is an example of what you've been describing to me.


What happens is a lot of dudes are reading articles on the net about POF being loaded with single moms looking for provider males. While this may be true to some extent for him to automatically assume it shows he's a clown who would wind up dating you to get some, his resentment to single mothers would eat at him and he'd leave when he found "better". It's going to be difficult but you might want to try dating single dad's too. I don't have kids so I can't really talk but I can tell you men talk and think single moms being on POF are desperate and easy hit and quit. There's a lot of BS on here.

I don't know you as a person from a can of paint but it depends what you are looking for. Many dudes stop reading profiles as it gets tedious or they get read/deleted so much that sending tailored emails and reading profiles becomes a waste of time.

If the dude automatically assumed you are looking for someone to raise your kid let him go find a single woman as he shouldn't have even wrote you to begin with unless he was trying to see if you were down for FWB etc. and be upfront he has no plans on dating you. Real talk.
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 18
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 12:22:57 PM
What happens is a lot of dudes are reading articles on the net about POF being loaded with single moms looking for provider males. While this may be true to some extent for him to automatically assume it shows he's a clown who would wind up dating you to get some, his resentment to single mothers would eat at him and he'd leave when he found "better". It's going to be difficult but you might want to try dating single dad's too. I don't have kids so I can't really talk but I can tell you men talk and think single moms being on POF are desperate and easy hit and quit. There's a lot of BS on here.

I don't know you as a person from a can of paint but it depends what you are looking for. Many dudes stop reading profiles as it gets tedious or they get read/deleted so much that sending tailored emails and reading profiles becomes a waste of time.

If the dude automatically assumed you are looking for someone to raise your kid let him go find a single woman as he shouldn't have even wrote you to begin with unless he was trying to see if you were down for FWB etc. and be upfront he has no plans on dating you. Real talk.

I think I'm getting the hang of this! Copy and paste..makes sense! Well I don't feel I should have to write a book on my profile explaining I'm fully capable of and do support myself and that my son spends more time with his dad than me (due to work schedules, school and the fact that all the cats live with dad ---I like cats, as long as they belong to someone else). But I agree, people shouldn't assume I'm looking for someone to take care of me (or my son). I'm just baffled as to why the messages went back and forth only to get a phone call explaining he doesn't want to raise someone else's kid! My son's father is a great guy and an amazing dad, (so why am I not with him you ask? We just grew apart, nothing more/nothing less). But I shouldn't have to write these things on my profile...that's ridiculous!
 Kick_Start_My_Heart
Joined: 3/25/2015
Msg: 19
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 12:25:48 PM
They say laughter is the best medicine, and well, I will bring out the hyena in you.


This guy was clearly a schmuck, and I am not. You look like a city girl, and I'm a city boy, but I think you need a pet pig in your life.


:) I'm not really a city girl but there you go again..cracking me up!!! :)
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 20
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 12:27:50 PM
Ok, then you're a country girl....all the more reason you need a pig.

Oh, and I have noticed in your last picture, you are wearing PIGtails!!

That's no coincidence! ;)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 21
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 1:36:03 PM
Pictures - not til the 5th do we see you. Sunglasses against site rules - face must be clearly visible. The one with faces blurred - no.
Text, mid way thought it gets good as you are engaging the reader - before then every sentence began with I.
Good you made mention of the children's ages.
Nothing in profession will read like you are unemployed. You don't have to be super specific
Not really sure what you are seeking - a relationship, someone to hang out with sometimes?
Remove your age restrictions, there is a 14 year span on POF and you might be screening out some great guys in your area.
Why not make the Interests less generic - ie Music - hmm, Lil Wayne? Easier to start a convo if there are things in common.
I agree with the others, move it to a meet up sooner than later. Skype if you are worried they don't look like their profile pictures
Get a cheap ass cell, don't give out your " real" number. Same for emails, if you are going to - then use an acct you use for nothing else, like a gmail.
Best of luck :)
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 22
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 2:37:01 PM

Why not make the Interests less generic - ie Music - hmm, Lil Wayne?


Oh, no. She is a Motley Crue girl. I can tell by the shirt.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 23
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 5:06:40 PM
quit flirting you . But idk, if someone tells me live music
then they drag me to a Jazz festival
Not so good
who the heck doesn't like Lil Wayne?
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 24
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 5:33:31 PM
Anyone with taste. hahaha
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 25
Profile Review
Posted: 7/30/2015 6:20:19 PM
tell me what you want, what you really really want
I like LW
Mock me meet mirror
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