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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I think this possibly is one of those issues where the sexes generally differ. Although I acknowledge that physical attraction is a thing, I don't think it's nearly as important to many women as it is to men. I DON'T post a lot of pics for that reason, I'm not ashamed of how I look at all. I get all the attention I want, and most of it IS because of my looks. I know this may sound strange, perhaps, but it's something I try to get past. I am blessed by genes, and have managed to maintain a single digit figure with almost NO effort whatsoever. I'm not complaining or trying not to, maybe it's just another quirk. I get turned on, so to speak when I get an email where someone appreciates my humor, smarts....almost anything except my looks.

The men that I've been involved with run the gamut in the looks dept. Yes I HAVE dated a few extremely good looking men, but I wasn't interested in that. Most of the men in my life would be what I'd call average looking, and that's just been by happenstance, not something I set out to do. I was drawn to them because of their wit, personality, brains, kindness....etc.

I just hung up on someone who insisted on more pics, I told him that was a turn off, he said we wouldn't be compatible. Nuff said for me, I hung up.

So is it just me, or does this bug anyone else?
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 2
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 5:50:48 PM
hi neighbor!

I see that you have three pics up and in all honesty you look a little different in each one. I can't really get a grasp of what you look like.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:04:31 PM
"I can't really get a grasp of what you look like." Thanks for posting, that's fair. Usually when I meet someone, and they say you look "different" than your pics, it's usually the hair which I change around a lot. The pic with my son the Ghostbuster, was when my hair was shorter, also my main pic.

That's the point, though, not that what I look like doesn't matter at all, but why should it be the FIRST thing someone asks about? I've never met anyone in person that didn't recognize me almost immediately. For me, looks is almost a barrier, not something I want someone to be so caught up in that's all they want to talk about. That is generally been my experience more often than not, and not something I'm happy about, but most would be. Like I said, a quirk.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 4
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:05:50 PM
bucsgirl- No, it's not just you and thank you for having the guts to say it.
I can't stand it.
Did they not take the time to read my profile, at all?
What is going to change if I send them another photo?
It screams, "I am only interested in your looks".
I manage to ignore it, ignore them, but sometimes I'm tempted to ask, "a picture of what"?
You've already seen my face, what is it you REALLY want to see, my body, my vagina, what?
It makes me feel as if I might as well not have a personality, a brain, or much of anything past the superficial.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 5
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:16:23 PM
Thanks, bama, glad it resonated with you.

The putz I just hung up on, asked me to take a selfie (just GOT a cell phone...again) and specified that it should be in a bathing suit or shorts. "Turn me on"....as if...haha, further he said "something classy". I laughed on the inside...really doofus? You ask for a "classy" pic, when by our BRIEF convo, it's evident we have a different definition of classy. He's also a "Christian-other" and posts that he has a Masters Degree (who cares?). Just not what I'd expect an educated, "Christian" man to ask for.

Also, in MY experience, those that insist on more pics are themselves usually the most unattractive, older, less educated, in online dating lingo we call that "looking to trade up". Seriously, not saying I'm every man's dream at all, but sheesh. I still say that most or many men treat online dating like they're shopping from a catalog and can order whatever they want, REGARDLESS of what they (ugh...I hate clich├ęs) have to bring to the table.

The world has far too many superficial men IMO.
 07songsungblue
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 6
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:18:03 PM

I see that you have three pics up and in all honesty you look a little different in each one. I can't really get a grasp of what you look like.


Well, according to the "experts" on here it is your pictures that draw someone in, even really old ones. Those folks with just head shots seem to get asked for full body shots and those with ball caps on get asked for pics without a hat..or sunglasses or whatever.

To send a first message that says "Hi, wanna chat and can I see more pictures?" seems a little shallow and I couldn't be bothered to respond. So I will agree, any message not mentioning my looks or my tits is preferred.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 7
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:26:49 PM
It is possible they are asking for more pics because you are still using one of the old POF pictures as your main. Even though your middle pic shows full body, maybe they think all your pics are old.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:34:20 PM
Well, yes and no. If you have none, it is understandable. If you have a full body and above the shoulders shot then I think it is a bit shallow and rude. They are writing you and demanding more..tactless! They will most likely get pervy at one point.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 9
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:37:06 PM
Bucsgirl you right to be turned off
As soon as they ask for more pics, especially revealing pictures I go find something else to jack off to.
More pictures.. right, and in shorts or a bikini.. I have a few keepers I should send you to forward to the ones who ask
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 10
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:47:13 PM
So is it just me, or does this bug anyone else?
-----------
I never asked for additional pics. I made a decision based on what was there. I thought that asking for additional pics was bad form and I didn't want to be put in the position of having to depend on what someone else did for me to make a decision. It never really bothered me either way to be asked for pics. If I felt like sending some, I sent some. If not, I didn't. If I got the impression that a woman was trying to hard for some guarantee, I let her waste her time trying to get it. If being asked for pics bothers you, try telling the guy you'll send them and then don't send them. You can get a good idea of what the person is like by the way you are pushed to send them. Some guys may ask for them, not really consider it bad manners, but not really care if you don't want to send them. They aren't necessarily being rude. They might just not realize asking for pics can annoy people. The ones who push you for them are the ***holes.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 11
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:47:20 PM
While there is validity in everything about your post, for me personally, I don't mind if someone asks for more photos.

I do, however, get a little perturbed when they start demanding pics of me in fluorescent green Speedos. They're not getting those until *after* we meet.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:49:08 PM
appearances matter, that's been discussed to death. HOWEVER, it shouldn't cost a lot to have a first meet and decide if someone's got personality *enough*. to me, its as much a lack of guts to gamble, as anything else...
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:55:14 PM
Yes. It is annoying. I try to keep a recent photo (within 3-6 mos). I date all my photos. I have full body and a close-up of my face. I list my weight in my profile. I still get men asking for MORE PICS~. Ugh. This is usually the same men who want to send endless messages and are quick on the phone number giving but if I suggest meeting they hem and haw.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 14
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:01:56 PM
Thanks to all of you, I appreciate all your feedback. I hesitate a little to say this, but most often when I DO meet someone...(I know...GAG) their first comment is something like "your pics don't do you justice" or you're much prettier...blah blah in person". To which I just respond...well I don't it's awkward, even for ME!!

Can we just say it's one of those givens? If someone contacts me or I contact them, then there is some sort of attraction and/or interest? So that's one of those "safe" things to assume. Now, let's get past that and see if we can actually enjoy each other's company...or not. If I have an agenda, that's it. We all know people we just enjoy being around, romantic interest, that's not crossing my mind when I'm laughing at your story about that time on the playground.

I truly believe that if more people who are meeting, well let's face it literally a virtual stranger would focus more on how comfortable am I with this person and am I comfortable enough to be myself, then there'd be a lot more success stories. That said, and for ME, being comfortable with being myself is not an issue, but getting to know someone is like eating a cake. You don't eat the whole thing at one sitting, but it's great one slice at a time.

When you're meeting someone new, it can be enjoyable to share a slice of each other. Just a slice, that's why I don't recommend the first meet/date/whatever being more than an hour and a half. That's a big enough slice. Let that settle and see if you'd like another slice. Eating a WHOLE cake....does that ever turn out well? Cake analogy over.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 15
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:08:34 PM
"for me personally, I don't mind if someone asks for more photos." And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We're all different says Ms. Obvious...haha. I don't have Speedos, but I have a fair amount of tight spandex workout clothes...ehh...dare I say? DARE, DARE. Being who I AM, I will occasionally say, if you want the nudie pics, then you'll have to PAY for them like everyone else....I laugh real hard and block.

Do they make fluorescent green Speedos? The random things you learn on the forums. Actually, since I'm still in Florida...the things you see at the beach....damn my eyes!
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 16
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:13:31 PM
Aw c'mon BG. You've been here awhile now. With 3 pics up, can't you date at least ONE of them? Not that folks can't/don't/won't lie about dates.

An alternative that you can TRY [for at least a few months] is to hide your pics but describe your hair color/length, eye color and body type in the very first line of your profile and send first contact emails. I met quite a few ladies that way. [although it was about 5 years ago when very few ladies of any age were posting all the "risque" shots of all types so prevalent today but I DID have pics posted then] If you send emails with no pics, it's almost a guarantee that they will read your profile and either relate or not and respond accordingly. I think "good pics/great pics" are simply a bonus but ONLY if our profiles match up well. I have consistently found that [for me anyway] the only reliable way to judge attractiveness is to have a real F2F conversation.

As an aside, MOST of these pictureless ladies did cough up pics when I replied to their initial emails, although I never asked for them and I did meet at least 2 w/o seeing any pics and also a few w/o a phone call. <<< All of these ladies were at least warm if not "hot" looks wise. They simply did not want pics showing for whatever reason.

What have you got to lose?
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 17
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:19:50 PM
I actually DO have a picture of myself in a blue Speedo on the Lake Erie beach at Cedar Point Amusement Park.

but that was in 1972 or so. when I had a six pack.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 18
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:22:14 PM
"You've been here awhile now. With 3 pics up, can't you date at least ONE of them? Not that folks can't/don't/won't lie about dates."

Says the person with NO pics posted. I've been here awhile, if I wanted to be "new" I'd have posted a new profile and deleted this one. What's your point?

With all due respect, it's hard to muster up credibility to reply to someone who has NO pics posted. Hide my pics? Try that, I've been here awhile, as you mentioned. I'm happy with my experience here, overall, it's just a forum topic, not asking for personal advice. Date my pics? I'm laughing to myself...of course you throw in the caveat, not that people don't LIE about dates. I just don't get your point, it COULD be just me.

Oh wait, what would I have to lose? How do you know I haven't already possibly done that in my LONG time here? I'm not in need of having someone who wants to meet me or date or whatever. If I were to feel some NEED in that area, I'd fish out my black miniskirt, etc. fix my hair, do about 5 minutes of makeup and I'd have all and probably more attention than I'd want. Here's a phrase I use often, undersell, over-deliver. I'd rather someone be surprised when they meet me that I don't look exactly like my pics. Sum it up to say, it's on purpose.

"I actually DO have a picture of myself in a blue Speedo on the Lake Erie beach at Cedar Point Amusement Park.

but that was in 1972 or so. when I had a six pack." HAHA...NOW I remember you!!
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 19
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:34:06 PM
I've never been asked for more. I feel I have enough (plus I have the full 16, some of which i marked private for now just so I don't go overboard posting). So if I did get get asked I'd be annoyed yeah, like "what are you too friggen stupid to get an idea from the ones I have up", haha.
I've been a camera ham all my life and could easily get more if I had to though.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 20
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:52:12 PM

I think this possibly is one of those issues where the sexes generally differ. Although I acknowledge that physical attraction is a thing, I don't think it's nearly as important to many women as it is to men. I DON'T post a lot of pics for that reason,


On dating sites, pictures / looks are very important to both genders. The only time I might ask for more photos is when a woman has just face shots. BTW some women have asked me for more pictures. I usually tell them that the pictures on my profile are the most recent.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 8:14:52 PM

I usually tell them that the pictures on my profile are the most recent.


Great answer.

Is asking for more pictures a turn off? Absolutely.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 22
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:06:50 PM
An absolute turn off for me too.

Before my current break there were a few men who would ask for more pictures.
If I continued typing the conversation turned to what they were doing whilst looking at my pictures.
No thank you.

Song... you are exactly right. Early communication mentioning looks, asking for more pictures or tits is a bad sign.


Yes. Telling them the photos on my profile are the most recent is a great answer.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 23
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:27:10 PM
POF watermarks indicate the photos were taken over six years ago. Both men and women want to see what you look like NOW.

Most of my photos were taken in June and July 2015. My photo captions show the month and year. I never post photos over one year old. No one has asked me for more photos.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 24
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:38:14 PM
For the very few times I actually got a response from a female, after a few messages back and forth we exchanged cell numbers. If I wanted more pictures I would text some pictures of me and a couple of them texted me some back. So I got pictures without really asking.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 25
Is it just me, or is asking for more pics right off a turn off?
Posted: 8/5/2015 10:53:35 PM
Personally, I think you have enough pics to gauge attraction, but that's me.

Next time you get asked for more pictures, post or send pics of yourself milking a cow, wrenching on a car or replacing an ink cartridge in a printer :)
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