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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Rejection because they are lesbians      Home login  
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 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 1
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Rejection because they are lesbiansPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Maybe its just me but just lately I notice that if I approach two women together they would often tell me that they are lesbians. In many cases they are probably being honest but also sounds like a way to say they aren't interested. Not sure if this is a common tactic used or was just unlucky to be with genuine lesbians.

It probably could be either but I guess the tactic is less likely to be used if they are on their own or in a larger group. The former however is relatively rare, women aren't usually by themselves in bars or clubs. Whereas it can be daunting and less straight forward with groups.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 2
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 6:14:30 AM

just lately I notice that if I approach two women together they would often tell me that they are lesbians

a strategy that's bound to backfire eventually when some guy asks if he can watch.


what difference does their reason make or whether you think they're being honest about it?

they aren't interested
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 3
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 6:38:43 AM
It depends on the venue. It depends on their own interaction. I live in a Town that is very LGBT friendly. There are bars and restaurants that cater to them, but they also go to more hetero places as well. So if you see two girls at a bar, just look at their interaction, if they are looking at the people around them, they are looking for men. If they are looking at each other and ignoring everyone else, leave them alone, they don't want to talk to you. Realize also that a lot of women when they go out, they do so in groups, so there will be three girls to a group. They could be having the all girls night out, and have boyfriends, or the same thing but single, thus looking at men. How do you tell the difference? Easy. Just look at what they are looking at, there's your answer.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 4
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 8:35:03 AM

what difference does their reason make or whether you think they're being honest about it?


Well apart from just the curiosity being satisfied then no difference whatsoever on that particular occasion I guess.
But if they are being honest then its possible to say its just bad luck and meeting a few more women in pairs may mean that luck could change. If its a common tactic used to warn off men then that becomes less likely.

Of course what happens on one occasion has little relevance to other occasions but there are some general behaviours that people use to get what they do or don't want to happen.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 5
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 9:16:33 AM
Depends, normally they are lying and just trying to get rid of guys, nothing personal they just made a conscious effort not to be hit on by men that night.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 6
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 9:17:48 AM

a strategy that's bound to backfire eventually when some guy asks if he can watch.


Hell, I would say the more the merrier and grab both of them by the arm to escort them out!
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 7
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 4:18:20 PM
Now that I think about it, this has to be gender specific, I don't know any men who would lie to a woman and tell her that he's gay. It's one of those things too when you reverse the roles you start to realize how silly that tactic is even saying it out loud, it sounds stupid. I was about to type a fake scenario involving a group of girls discussing the tactic and it sounds dumb. So stupid I just deleted the entire thing, I wasted 2 minutes typing that. I've ran into faux lesbians in the club plenty of times and while it doesn't feel good to be rejected because I'm so unappealing to them that they lie to me about being a lesbian, the whole thing itself is unconvincing.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 8
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 4:41:18 PM
This is a classic rejection that women use to say they are not interested.

Rejecting strange men in person is fraught with peril. Women don't know if he will fly into a rage, becoming abusive and violent.

EDIT:
Browneyesboo, by "classic" I meant timeworn or used for decades. When I was in college, girls would say that to get an obnoxious man to leave them alone in a bar.

I would never say this to a man. Instead I would say firmly: "Please leave me alone." But then again I never go to bars.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 9
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 4:44:28 PM
That must be a young thing.
I don't know anyone beyond a teen
that would say something like that
I don't think it's classic at all. I certainly
wouldn't say that.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 10
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 5:06:03 PM

Rejecting strange men in person is fraught with peril. Women don't know if he will fly into a rage, becoming abusive and violent.


Great, I'm strange. All I wanted was a dance, I only paid 10-20 dollars to get in and dress up. I guess I'll go **** myself.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 11
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:55:44 PM

Rejecting strange men in person is fraught with peril. Women don't know if he will fly into a rage, becoming abusive and violent.


If he did that in a bar or club he would basically get thrown out so why would he do that? I do think aswell however that when women say they are lesbian, many men think that they are in fact bisexual and would be happy to be involved in a threesome. Well it doesn't work like that in the real world, lesbians aren't interested in men full stop. (Sorry period in US English in case there is any confusion lol)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 12
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:55:49 PM
^^^^^hahaha! Yes all you guys are strange!
*imagines the gymnastics of ****** oneself*
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 13
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 7:59:51 PM

lesbians aren't interested in men full stop.


Really? Perhaps it's a mater of what we or women define as lesbian. I've known plenty of lesbians that dropped their female love for guy. I've also known many lesbians who would not cross over. So which one is which?
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 14
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 8/31/2015 9:05:18 PM
You could always ask if they want to try being bi for a day.
 chrisshrew
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 15
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/2/2015 12:54:13 PM

Really? Perhaps it's a mater of what we or women define as lesbian. I've known plenty of lesbians that dropped their female love for guy. I've also known many lesbians who would not cross over. So which one is which?


Well if we were to be pedantic about it, if they drop their love for a guy then technically they are more bisexual than lesbian. The ones that wouldn't cross over are the ones who are. I do understand however that whereas with men they are usually either gay or straight the boundaries are less clear with many women.

Some women for instance would still say they are straight even if they have been dancing with each other flirtatiously or have sent many x's, hearts and romantic compliments on facebook posts. The word girlfriend itself can even have two meanings so its often not very clear.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 16
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/2/2015 1:29:52 PM
Tell 'em that you can change their minds in 30 seconds...
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 17
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/2/2015 1:40:51 PM
I don't quite understand the point of your post, OP.

Rejection is rejection. Would it make you feel better if they lied and told you they were both married and having a girl's night out?

Like some previous posters have said, some women lie because they fear a scene being made if they turn a guy down. Never worry about the ones that say no and concentrate on the potential yesses in the bar.


Great, I'm strange. All I wanted was a dance, I only paid 10-20 dollars to get in and dress up


That is another thing I don't get. I generally always dance with someone that asks me provided it is a song that I like. If not, when a song I like comes on, I will find you.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 18
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I'll take some of that strange
Posted: 9/2/2015 4:15:08 PM

Great, I'm strange. All I wanted was a dance, I only paid 10-20 dollars to get in and dress up. I guess I'll go **** myself.


Haha. Blackwood, I'd totally dance with you. Too bad I'm old enough to be your mom. But only your teen mom!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 19
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I'll take some of that strange
Posted: 9/2/2015 4:23:58 PM
^^^^
Does he still have to pay 10-20 dollars?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 20
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I'll take some of that strange
Posted: 9/2/2015 4:35:46 PM
Nah, I'm a cheap date.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 21
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/2/2015 7:30:50 PM

Never worry about the ones that say no and concentrate on the potential yesses in the bar..


If you would be so kind as to point out those potential yesses, that would be a big help, thanks.

I'm guessing the OP thought the lesbians were a potential yes, or he probably wouldn't have approached them.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 22
Those lesbians are real tough--they can take a licking
Posted: 9/2/2015 8:13:25 PM
If it wasn't for blowing opportunities or getting told to screw myself, I wouldn't have any sex these days.

personally, I take no for an answer. Maybe I've lost some opportunities that way. but I figure if someone can be dishonest about what they want, when should I begin to trust what they say?
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 23
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I'll take some of that strange
Posted: 9/2/2015 9:45:23 PM

That is another thing I don't get. I generally always dance with someone that asks me provided it is a song that I like. If not, when a song I like comes on, I will find you.


Some girls act like dancing is the first step to a serious relationship, it's serious business. When in reality it's just a dance.


Haha. Blackwood, I'd totally dance with you. Too bad I'm old enough to be your mom. But only your teen mom!


Thank you, I'll dance with you anytime.

But truthfully though, it can get pretty expensive going out, while I'm not saying I'm owed anything, sometimes I just want to have fun and unwind from a long work week, the same reason why women have "Girls night out" is the same reason why there are "Guys nights out" sometimes I can't find people who want to go out so I'll go out by myself, it doesn't mean that all guys are trying to get laid nor does it mean I'm a creeper rubbing my evil hands together looking to rape and torture. Sometimes a dance is just a dance especially after I paid a cover charge, yes I'm going to have as much fun as possible now.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 24
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Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/3/2015 2:46:07 AM
Well duh!!! OP is not clairvoyant.

What was meant by my post is that OP seems bothered by "lesbian" rejection. Once rejected, walk away and don't give these women another thought.

Does that point it out for you Full.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 25
Rejection because they are lesbians
Posted: 9/3/2015 6:52:53 PM
Hey, why is the thought of watching two women making out so appealing to so many men, but the thought of watching two men making is not commonly a huge turn on for women?
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