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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > What's your online "flirting" comfort zone?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 1
What's your online "flirting" comfort zone?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm not talking about those messages all women get ... hey baby; hey sexy ... calling you sugar, sweetie, darlin or hun. What about the ones that are very sexually suggestive? And I'm talking about messages from people you've never met but maybe have had a little email contact. I'm not a prude, but a guy did this to me earlier and it made me really uncomfortable. I mentioned it to him and he told me to "get the stick outta my ass -- he was just flirting." Obviously, I lost all interest in him at that point. I wanted to tell him that most women won't respond favorably to that, but I just let it go -- he needs to find out on his own.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 2
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What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:22:14 PM
Well I like it! If it is a lady I was interested in flirting is the surest way to make a meeting go smoothly.

As for being a prude, I wouldn't want to make someone too uncomfortable with it and in your case he was clearly out of line. He went from being "nice" to being a bqstard. So good for you in getting it out of him, his true self.

That being said, I can't possibly agree that MOST women don't like flirting, in fact I wouldn't meet any who had no "flirtatious vibe". But since like attracts like, they aren't necessarily the norm.

A lot of GOOD flirting is underneath the surface and doesn't have to be too obvious. Many don't like when it comes on too strong.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 3
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:26:06 PM
If it were a comment about my body or any reference to "bed time activity" or intimacy, that would be too over the top for me with someone I don't even know. Maybe I am a prude, I dunno, but I'm happy with my prudishness then.
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 4
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:26:36 PM
AdventureJoe -- I agree with that. Flirting is vital for developing chemistry. I love flirting ... after I meet someone in person and feel we have that little spark. This guy just had no filter and apparently couldn't help himself -- he actually must have believed that was the way to do it. I wonder if there's a book called "flirting for dummies" lol
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 5
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:27:06 PM
A long time ago I messaged a woman with the name LittleEarthquakes. Now I thought she was making reference to the Anais Nin quote and thought she was receptive to some mild sexy talk. Turned out it was a reference to an album title from some artist (who obviously was referencing Anais Nin). I don't remember what I said, but it was only mildly suggestive. Anyway, it went downhill from there.
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 6
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:28:38 PM
^^^You probably should stay completely away from any chick named "Delta of Venus" ;)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 4:41:14 PM
Flirting has to be subtle and graceful to work for me going either way. It actually includes a ton more subject areas than sex, or should, if the people involved are interested in more than a pure sexual relationship.

It's my deduction that anyone who reverts to hostility when their "flirts" are objected to or rebuffed, proves by that hostility that their flirts were dishonest to begin with. Not that they didn't want to have sex, they were dishonest about the entire act of flirting itself.

Flirting is SUPPOSED to be a friendly act. I have no interest in trying to persuade any more hostile people to get along with me.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 8
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 6:19:20 PM

I'm not a prude, but a guy did this to me earlier and it made me really uncomfortable.

What did he say?
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 9
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/5/2015 6:32:31 PM
not sure what yours is....
my def. of "very sexually suggestive" is totally off limits for some guy I've never met.
"get the stick outta your ass" proves he is one.
 MissScawlett
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 10
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:14:48 AM
NJGirl, here's the conversation yesterday morning (we've emailed a couple of times before, but not met in person):

Him: Morning, sexy.
Me: Hi, happy Saturday. What's up today? (OK, I shouldn't have phrased it that way obviously.)
Him: Why don't you come over and check out my 8" of throbbing**** When's the last time you got any? (I'm thinking too much porn.)
Me: Hey look, I need to run. I can see this conversation is already in the proverbial gutter. I don't know you and am not discussing my sex life with a stranger.
Him: Lighten up and take the stick out of your ass -- I was just flirting.

Angry and horny is never a good combination. I hope he discovers that soon.

I might add that I did offer my phone number to him months ago when he seemed normal, and he declined due to the number of stalkers he'd encountered. I just laughed -- he's about as average as homemade soap ... stalkers pfffttttt lol
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 11
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:21:53 AM

Angry and horny is never a good combination



Him: Lighten up and take the stick out of your ass -- I was just flirting.

this is someone who is used to his definition of 'just flirting'.


I don't know you and am not discussing my sex life with a stranger.

not to split hairs miss scawlett, but he was more interested in discussing his 8" of throbbing****
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 12
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:30:15 AM
That is not "flirting" for one thing...he's just cruising for sex...imo.
As soon as he sent the second message...he would have been blocked, with no reply.
Creep!

But still a good question.
I am not a flirt...So, even the first message from him is heading in a wrong direction for me.
I think, very confident people learn the art of flirting and how to do it well...without it being too cheesy.
As children....we learn if we are nice or give "smooshes"...things go our way.
I was always the defiant, stubborn one.
I may compliment a stranger but it's not to be taken as a "flirt"....once comfortable with a man..only then will I flirt.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 13
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 6:34:59 AM

even the first message from him is heading in a wrong direction for me.

echo that. it's too familiar coming from some guy on the internet I've never met.
 aj7125
Joined: 11/28/2014
Msg: 14
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 9:17:27 AM
For me, flirting is natural and harmless. The example the OP gave isn't even close to being called flirting. I do agree with the Op in just ignoring and deleting and not even responding because you just got your answer to who this other person is, what good would it do to reply?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 11:51:32 AM
Again, it happens once in a while :-) John and I agree on this one.
 bitabok1
Joined: 5/14/2015
Msg: 16
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/6/2015 7:08:45 PM
He was over the top, in fact he was over the moon. I like flirtatious conversations, but that to me border lined a sexual assault...oy...it is a fine line. Good that you redirected his thought.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 17
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/8/2015 5:30:41 AM
oh man..let me think on this one
if you do not know me and address me as sugar, darling, honey, cutie I am probably not going to answer you
if your first message to me is x rated I am probably gonna tell ya to go stuff it or jump in the lake

now everyone has their own comfort zone on what they find acceptable
for me it's about respect
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 18
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/8/2015 6:35:47 AM
Actually when I get a one liner message with,
"Hi Sexy!",
in it, I know that they are not reading my profile and that I require a 200 word essay about what they do not have in their profile.

I reply with, "You have a purty mouth." Then delete.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 19
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What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/8/2015 8:02:52 AM
That isn't flirting. Seems more like someone wanting sex talk. Tell him to call one of those lines.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 20
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/8/2015 9:01:42 AM
Wait. What? I am supposed to be flirting while I am online?

*light bulb goes on*

So that is what I have been doing wrong.

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 21
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/8/2015 9:54:53 AM
I used to flirt way more at another site, where I knew it would be appreciated. not the flirting, I mean, the approach of flirting. Flirting should be a way to get to know someone, not a way to make a demand. I think flirting should gradually build up, like foreplay. AS a lover of puns, I think flirting should have some art to it. how well can you make a double entre, kind of thing. a bit of a challenge, a way to show off one's intelligence and creativity. it would be nice if flirting can be unique--what works with one person, may not tickle the literal fancy of another.

flirting topics should start with what about that person makes them unique and so attractive as a result of that uniqueness...before it gets into what we're going to be doing with our organs. ida know, I guess I sound like i'm discussing old R&B song lyrics.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 22
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/11/2015 7:22:52 PM
I don't even know how to flirt :(
 TheWhitetigress
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 23
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/11/2015 7:56:02 PM
Very sexually suggestive language is not flirting, it's very suggestive sexual language. It is what it is.
Calling it flirting doesn't change the truth.

You're right, most women won't respond to that but some do. Even if it's one that does , it gives the men the false hope that another one will. They try it with as many as they can to find that other 'one 'and women like you and I fall victim to the stupidity. Victim, as in, having to put up listening to or reading it

I'm no prude but I sure the heck am not taking it from someone I barely know or even from someone I've known for years. I have a right to how I am treated and spoken to. Everyone does
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 24
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/12/2015 12:37:31 PM
I probably would have told him I can go to Subway and order the 12 in sub and get the usual 8 in worth of baloney with less effort, then reported and blocked.

This wasn't even a close flirting encounter of the 3rd kind.

Flirting is fun and not done to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

As Always,
LePew
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
What's your online flirting comfort zone?
Posted: 9/12/2015 3:15:14 PM
I'm guessing the man threw it out there just in case.

As in, he probably didn't care if you blocked him.

But, he would have cared if you jumped at the chance.(and yes some will/have)

And no, I wouldn't define those lines he used as flirting.
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