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Show ALL Forums  > Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help  > Flagging non-repliers      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 foreverbelieving79
Joined: 8/28/2015
Msg: 1
Flagging non-repliersPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
An alternative dating site has a wonderful feature that shows how likely a person is to reply to a message. It saves countless hours sending messages to users that are just too lazy and rude to reply to the majority of messages. This is an extremely useful feature, especially to us men.

Would POF consider adopting a similar feature?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 2
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/6/2015 9:24:28 PM

Posted by ForeverBelieving79:
"...to users that are just too lazy and rude..."

You do understand very attractive women can receive HUNDREDS of inbound notes, right?
Why are they to be held responsible to send a reply to every suitor? Why should they be "dinged" for being attractive?

A thick skin is needed for online dating.
This is also really a gender-neutral issue. If a man or woman does not respond, it means they are not interested.
 foreverbelieving79
Joined: 8/28/2015
Msg: 3
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/6/2015 9:27:04 PM
I do understand that. But...

A) There are many chronic non-repliers

B) You could reply with a generic response. Keep it somewhere and copy and paste.

C) If most of us didn't respond most of the time, no one would bother with this at all.

D) I never don't respond. It's rude. I'd sooner disable my account.

 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 4
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/6/2015 9:33:11 PM
Let's say I wrote 1000 introductory notes to singles here and all 1000 women were completely uninterested.
Would I wish to receive 1000 notes saying, "No thanks, not interested. We aren't a match." Heck, no!

The only thing that I would want to see in my inbox is "Eric_Summit, love your profile. When can we meet?"
Getting rejection, after rejection, after rejection would get seriously depressing. Good luck.

 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 5
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/6/2015 9:53:56 PM


B) You could reply with a generic response. Keep it somewhere and copy and paste.


How's this? I stole it.


I don't want to waste your time or mine ONLINE, if you want to get to know me let's do so this weekend. Would Friday or Saturday be a good day?
 OTTO BONN
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 6
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 12:44:59 AM
I agree with you completely Eric.

Since messages do not have subjects listed as they once did, one would initially be hopeful to see a response, but then only to be let down with a rejection letter. After enough of those, getting a reply would likely cause despair.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 7
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 5:57:12 AM

There are many chronic non-repliers

How do you know this? You only know which ones dont reply to you.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 7:05:02 AM
Who cares how many people other people are responding to, as long as they're responding to you?

I responded to a relatively small percentage of the emails I received because, like many others, I myself preferred to receive only positive responses. I will never understand the many who are clamoring for an inbox full of rejection notices.

But I DID respond to the one I married -- and that's all that mattered.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 9
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 8:13:11 AM
Ah yes but the results are skewed on that other site.

If I get 5 (or 50 or 100) messages and they are all from men who don't meet my filters (age, distance) and I don't reply to any of them I show as having a low response rate. Of course I am clear in that profile about my age range and distance preferred so I should have to send a no thank you to every 20 or 80 year old or to every man who is 1000 miles away and didn't bother to read and/or comprehend my profile?

It is also quite easy to spot spammer grammar. I don't respond to them either. That goes against my "replies often" count. So because I have enough common sense to ignore the garbage messages it is counted against me. Same with guys trolling for sex. No response to them goes against my count.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 10
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 8:29:16 AM
I'm pretty sure there's a button somewhere marked "Most likely to reply." Instead of a negative review of non-repliers this site gives a positive flag for active repliers.

I think that should satisfy your worries.
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 11
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 10:34:52 AM
Okay - so, you'd be happier if everyone was obligated to send a "not if you were the last man on Earth" response which would give a 100% response rating than just realizing that if someone isn't responding, it's because they aren't interested?

No reply is the biggest indicator of zero interest than a forced "no thanks" and you are in exactly the same position. You would still be composing for "countless hours" to the exact same people.

Incidentally, some users get a lot of messages. A lot. If they are forced into responding to them all, even the ones they have no interest in, that takes time. Time which would likely result in these people going elsewhere.

I'm sure you haven't considered that :-
1. An F*ck off message would create an accurate response rate of 100% for those that wanted it.
2. You would still be spending the same amount of time messaging these people with 100% response rate but not gain a damn thing execpt an in-box full of rejection notices.
3. If forced into doing this, a lot of the women will just go elsewhere so it's counter productive if there's no one left to message.
4. People who aren't responding aren't doing that because they are lazy or rude. They are doing it because they aren't interested and it seems odd to reply "no thanks" 100 times as it's time consuming and no one gains a darn thing from it.
5. If this feature that you wish for is so important, why not just join the place that you say offers it?

Meh, as explained, I don't think it's as useful as you imagine it would be.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 10:49:40 AM
Aich.

Yet ANOTHER "idea" based around trying to FORCE people who want nothing to do with you, to perform tricks to assuage your ego.

Next, will come the brilliant idea to force everyone who answers "maybe" to the "meet me" scam, to answer all messages from whoever they said "maybe" about.

[insert more grumpy noises here]
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 13
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 4:12:08 PM
Additionally, it's been discussed over and over why women hesitate to reply. Why? Because we get sick of being called a stuck up ****h and much worse if we say thanks but no thanks. Best to not reply; saves grief on both sides.

Also, it specifically says on my profile in two places that I'm NOT looking for a relationship yet I still get messages asking to get to know me and can we chat? No! No I don't want to so why bother even asking?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 14
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 4:59:20 PM
^^ we should flag people who don't read profiles? OP = why do you wish to punish people who, for whatever reason, opt not to reply to you?
Why just flag, maybe in the Header there would be a sign ( you can pick it) denoting THIS PERSON doesn't respond to every message they receive.
* hands tar and feathers* nerve of some people not to reply to a message sent on a free site. World gone Mad
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 15
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 5:18:07 PM

nerve of some people not to reply to a message sent on a free site. World gone Mad


^^^
 foreverbelieving79
Joined: 8/28/2015
Msg: 16
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 6:49:39 PM
*Sighs*

Unsurprisingly, people seem to be taking this as a personal insult. I do find it rude not to reply, HOWEVER, that is your right.

I have found the information helpful on the other site, because it helps me, and others, in avoiding the time-wasters, the chronic non-repliers. How do I know they exist? Go to OK cupid and you'll see their system. They exist in every dating site.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 17
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 7:16:56 PM
OFFS, it doesn't matter if they have responded to anyone else..... If they respond to You & Only You, that's all that matters...

But maybe POF can implement a feature for people like You, You can click a must respond button & if they don't respond, the system will Auto Generate a "Not in Your Wildest Dreams" response.......

If that doesn't Work for You, then send POF a email, demanding Your Money Back from this Free Site...
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 18
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 7:29:21 PM

*Sighs*

Unsurprisingly, people seem to be taking this as a personal insult. I do find it rude not to reply, HOWEVER, that is your right.

I have found the information helpful on the other site, because it helps me, and others, in avoiding the time-wasters, the chronic non-repliers. How do I know they exist? Go to OK cupid and you'll see their system. They exist in every dating site.


Did you read my response? It explains why the system there does not work. If I get 20 u want sum fuk messages tonight and don't answer them I am now the rude one? You find it helpful to know to avoid me because I choose not to engage with those men sending those messages? You do realize that those men sending those messages are the time-wasters. The woman that you choose to avoid because she has a low response rate may be the perfect woman for you but you will never know because you can't see beyond a system that does not work.
 TheWhitetigress
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 19
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 7:36:06 PM
Igor
Yet ANOTHER "idea" based around trying to FORCE people who want nothing to do with you, to perform tricks to assuage your ego.




OP
I have found the information helpful on the other site, because it helps me, and others, in avoiding the time-wasters, the chronic non-repliers. How do I know they exist? Go to OK cupid and you'll see their system



So, OK cupid is a site with a system in place that stroke and ease egos?



*avoids OK cupid
 OTTO BONN
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 20
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 8:22:26 PM

An alternative dating site has a wonderful feature that shows how likely a person is to reply to a message.... Would POF consider adopting a similar feature?

POF has Will Respond. It uses the age range and distance set in UltraMatch. To see Will Respond results for other areas, change the postal code entered on Edit Profile to the desired location and click Update Profile to register the change. The entry for City on Edit Profile does not need to be changed.
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 21
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 9:44:45 PM

I do find it rude not to reply,


....and we find it offensive when our reply is met with bashing us and stuff such as "What? You think you're too good for me? Go fukk yourself, woman...."


You could reply with a generic response. Keep it somewhere and copy and paste.


1/ Multiple copy and pasting may lead to demise of one's profile as it may be deemed as spamming.
2/ What sort of generic response? Please suggest examples that will not lead to us being verbally abused.


because it helps me, and others, in avoiding the time-wasters, the chronic non-repliers.


...Excuse me? Is one a time waster because:

She doesn't respond to offensive messages?
She doesn't respond to someone with a fukkked up profile?
She doesn't respond to someone on drugs
She doesn't respond to someone looking to "Hang out and anything goes...just try me?"

The time wasters, dear Sir, are those who will message just anyone and then consider themselves worthy of a reply.
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 22
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/7/2015 10:15:11 PM
Message: Hi there. I like your profile. Can we meet sometime?
Reply: Hello. I'm not looking for anyone. Just here for the forums. Have a good day.

Message: So you'd rather talk to the forums than talk to me?
Reply: Thankyou for your message. Have a nice day.

Message: Listen, lady. You think you're better than me? I'm doing you a favour. If no one else wants you, I will.
Reply: Thankyou but I'm not interested at this time. All the best.

Message: Think yourself lucky I'm spending my time on you. Is this how you repay me? Being rude?
Reply: Good day Sir.

Message: You didn't answer my question. Is this how you treat someone who is trying to do you a favour? What sort of twisted biarttch are you? You encouraged me then turned me down. You're nothing but a cokk teaser.

The above is pretty much word for word I experienced a little while ago. I'm not saying all guys are like that...far from it.....but such a conversation makes me reluctant to reply.

A non reply IS a reply on here. If it hurts an ego...your problem not ours. Just saying.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/8/2015 2:39:45 AM
Message: I want to get to know you.
Reply: Hi. Thanks for the message - I'm flattered. I did take a look at your profile. It seems you are looking for casual sex and I am looking for a relationship so I don't think we would be a match. I wish you well with your search and hope you find what you are seeking.

Message: You aren't even slim.

(Apparently if I'm not slim I'm supposed to be grateful for any attention I get).

I usually reply to all messages but no-one has a right to expect a reply.
 AussieNancy
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 24
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/8/2015 2:52:48 AM
^^^^ Well said Deb.
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 25
Flagging non-repliers
Posted: 9/8/2015 4:11:46 AM

Unsurprisingly, people seem to be taking this as a personal insult. I do find it rude not to reply, HOWEVER, that is your right.


Oh the irony - People seem to be taking this as a personal insult but you take it as a personal insult if they don't reply. This has a lot of all about YOU.

People aren't taking this as a personal insult. They are trying to explain to you the gaping holes in your idea.

You send me a messsage : Hi, blah, blah,
I reply : Crawl back under your rock
My reply rate = 100%

What did you gain from the feature that forced me to respond?
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