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 kernowmade
Joined: 12/16/2013
Msg: 1
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On older ladies Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Apart from the guys who have a fetish about us older ladies, where do you find a genuine guy who is looking for a real relationship. I don't want a one night stand, neither do I want a stick in the mud armchair remote hugger. I am am extremely young at heart older lady, very active and I am still hoping to find my soul mate, but where do I look?
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 2
On older ladies
Posted: 10/31/2015 5:40:54 PM
Wait a minute...you have young guys hitting on you, even with the settings?
Like any of us...trial and error.
You may need to take the initiative and read profiles, someone might spark an interest and message first.
Good Luck!
 prairiefire60
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 3
On older ladies
Posted: 10/31/2015 5:55:00 PM
Get out and meet people at events or volunteer somewhere. Or take classes, dance classes, carpentry classes, painting classes. Join a walking group or hiking group. Just meet new people and some of these people have a single brother, father, uncle, friend, neighbour, etc. And like SunKist said, if you see someone interesting online, message him. Most men would be more than pleased if a woman messaged them first.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 4
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On older ladies
Posted: 10/31/2015 8:12:52 PM
OP...

In my opinion, the younger guys who have a "fetsh" with older ladies are looking for an easy score. They're under the impression that older ladies are more desperate and/or they're having difficulties with the women their own age.

With the +/- 14 year age restriction this can definitely happen. Adjust those mail filters.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 5
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On older ladies
Posted: 10/31/2015 8:55:48 PM
Not a good idea to have your family posted on a dating site like this. Especially children.

As for whether it is a fetish that some younger guys go for the older woman I don't know. It is possibly that they don't want to deal with pregnancies or anything enduring really perhaps A guy who has had his family and does not want to spend a lot of money wooing and winning a woman will go for the older woman. It has been my experience that men of a certain ethnicity will contact women much older than themselves.

They may think that the older woman is easier to get, expects less and is more understanding and nurturing. If she has money and assets she will be all the more desirable, just like men are.

In fact more and more women are going for the more desirable younger guy also and are open about it. These days women are fitter and more fabulous into their mature years with all sorts of diets, exercise and surgery.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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On older ladies
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:12:46 AM
The question isn't correctly phrased, I think.

The real question should be, "where do I look for the kind of mate that I have in mind," and the simple answer is, as it always has been"anywhere and everywhere."

Perhaps not in a brothel, or at a specially announced Cougar Meet Festival, but other than that, the "place" to meet a potential mate has always been "anywhere."

The actual challenge isn't finding places to meet people, it's finding ways to tell who is and isn't open to being approached as a potential mate. And sometimes, the venue does or doesn't permit the sort of conversation required to learn that.

And by the way, taking this from the other side: keep in mind, that when it comes to "a genuine guy who is looking for a real relationship," that has NEVER been determined by location. Nor by any other single factor, other than the guy (or gal) themselves.

1. A person is either honorable or not, anywhere you look.

2. A person who is willing to lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise conduct themselves dreadfully in order to take advantage of you, is almost always going to do so by pretending to be the thoughtful, gentle, generous and imaginative person who you are actually looking for.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 7
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On older ladies
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:51:30 AM

In my opinion, the younger guys who have a "fetsh" with older ladies are looking for an easy score. They're under the impression that older ladies are more desperate and/or they're having difficulties with the women their own age.

OP is 65 not 35. That means a "younger man" would likely be 50-55 hardly MILF hunting age that she's dealing with. I don't think that expression applies here in this situation.

OP, there is no magic place to meet the perfect one, that's fairy tale nonsense. My advise is to keep all your options open. Do some online dating as well as real life dating. The more activities you do and join the more chances you have to meet the men you are seeking. Meetup groups, from what I've seen often have men 50+ in them who are single. You could start there. My city also has a lot of dances, parties, events ect held at local churches and Eagles clubs (alot of these are posted through Meetup groups).

When your options dwindle maybe it's time to consider what restrictions you have placed on meeting the perfect guy. One restriction you have you mentioned is age. Maybe it's time to widen that door a little bit. Meeting a man whose 55 instead of 75 is going to give you more of a chance to meet someone who is mentally and physically able to keep up with you and broaden your pool of daters. Age difference in your 50's, 60's, 70's (dating someone 10-15 years younger) isn't going to be such an issue as it would be if you were in your 30's-early 40's dating 20 yr olds. So maybe give younger men a chance or older men even. In other words don't place restrictions on the possibilities to finding love.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 8
On older ladies
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:53:04 AM
"2. A person who is willing to lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise conduct themselves dreadfully in order to take advantage of you, is almost always going to do so by pretending to be the thoughtful, gentle, generous and imaginative person who you are actually looking for."

It sure can be tricky, I agree, Igor.

Many times during first meets I noticed men searching for some vulnerability in me, and then offering a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to anytime of day or night. Something I'd mention in the conversation as simple as a problem with my dog barking.

They often wanted to know about my past relationships, and how mistreated I might have been.

These were not just online people, they were men I met in real life as well.

Be careful of the white knights, and you should be fine. There are good people on here.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 9
On older ladies
Posted: 11/1/2015 9:42:48 AM
Ah man!

What's wrong with saving a damsel in distress?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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On older ladies
Posted: 11/1/2015 12:24:15 PM
Because once she's no longer in distress, a professional savior will lose interest and find someone else stuck in drama.


Go to the places where you find your interests to be, be friendly, know your boundaries so you aren't ending up with people you don't like, and don't be desperate. When you go somewhere, don't be there in hopes of finding someone, go there because you like the activity. I don't drink, I don't like drunks, so it would be silly for me to go to bars or clubs looking to meet men.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 11
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 3:35:05 AM
Why not make things easy on yourself and find a man your age who looks young?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 12
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 5:54:04 AM

Get out and meet people at events or volunteer somewhere. Or take classes, dance classes, carpentry classes, painting classes.


This type of advice is always tossed in every time someone says "Where can I find people to date?" I think it's a bad idea to take courses for the main purpose of trying to find a partner. People should take courses because they have an interest in the course, or volunteer because they're passionate about the cause. People-especially older people-would look too desperate if they're taking a course wanting to major in finding Mr./Miss Perfect For Me. Being out in the public eye is the best chance to find someone, but picking the right venue is key as well.

And I agree with a previous poster who said that displaying a family portrait is not appropriate for a profile on a dating site. A profile is suppose to be about the person posting the profile-not about family members. It's as bad as group shots-where people post pictures of themselves within a group of other people-and usually while drunk at a bar. Keep the family photos on Facebook.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 13
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 4:55:39 PM
"what's wrong with saving a damsel in distress?"

>>>i'm not certain what her dress has to do with things....:)

but as others pointed out, date someone who is like you. Perhaps being "young at heart" brings along the "immature at heart" who are looking for a quickie. There may be a need for more filtering, find the fellows who are "adventurous" or "full of vigor" or "Want to enjoy what life has to offer" or....darn. yeah, they do sound like an offer to get laid.

I think Jessie and Male both have good points. do an event for the sake of doing the event. the joy expressed (Well, hopefully the event is fun) can be contagious, and bring a fellow out of his shell. there's times I've asked out a woman who seemed to have joie de vivre (of course, that meant she was taken, who would let such a jewel escape, but hey).

as for why young bucks go after the mature, i'll throw another theory in there--older women appear to be more bold, less shy and demur about sex. There are fellows who do want to get hit on. but like a dog chasing a car, they might not be ready for it when they actually get what they want.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 14
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 6:32:00 PM
I won't insult older women and say they are easy, but they definitely have more...experience.

And they are better at keeping me on the hook, lmao.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 15
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 7:03:38 PM
^^^ really? Speaking of us easy older Broads
Where are those pix of you and your amour?
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 16
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 7:10:19 PM
The widow wasn't ready for a serious relationship.

He passed only 4 months ago.

I only expected a weekend excursion and was grateful for how long it lasted.

She was a kind soul and I wished her the best.

I get attached too easily :(
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 17
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On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 7:21:50 PM
clooneysclone

I tend to agree, these men probably just want to be needed, to help out and not necessarily wanting to take advantage of a damsel in distress. We need to watch being too cynical and suspicious. Some men are naturally gallant and protective. It makes them feel manly in a world where women are so often crying that they dont need men.

I also agree that you seem to get attached too easily and it was too early to posting pics of you guys as a couple. The woman in question is very recently widowed and she is probably wanting to take thing slowly and sort out what she really wants. See other guys etc.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 18
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 7:31:17 PM
^^^
Agreed.

But she did want me to fly with her to meet her friends in Arizona.

She also posted pics of me and her on her FB wall already.

Anyway, I knew logically what the situation was and my heart was guarded.

I gave her a pendant and wished her the best.

I have no ill feelings towards her :)

More evidence though...

Money/trips gets sex but not the relationship.

Gotta budget the dollar amount for that...
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 19
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 7:35:27 PM
^^^I thought the pic was of you and your sister.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 20
On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 8:54:43 PM
kernowmade- There is a site called our time, it's dating site for seniors, give it a try. :)


http://www.ourtime.com/?sid=124&afid=GGN1661217130415&st=our%20time&ds=&stype=std&cid=38982387129&agn=OT-Core&cn=g&gclid=CKmui66--MgCFZI9gQod8j
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 21
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On older ladies
Posted: 11/4/2015 10:00:24 PM
Clooneys

Wow, she posted pics of you on Facebook already?? I don't know how long you knew her but it does not seem any time really and she was rushing it all a bit too much it seems. Did she want you to pay all the expenses? If so, then you knew what was going on and acted accordingly. At least life is not boring, right!!!
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 22
On older ladies
Posted: 11/5/2015 3:30:33 AM

The widow wasn't ready for a serious relationship.


Oh Clooney, I knew there was something amiss when I saw you put the rest of your pics back up (I saw you visited me yest while my profile was hidden and I looked to see what you were up to).

That you guarded your heart was good but probably some hurt there anyway (and disappointment too). Don't know how I missed this thread yest but glad I found it as I could not message you to ask, that POF thing about me being a cougar gets in the way a lot.

Why can't the people I love on here find their mates? I understand why I can't, but them? These forums are seductive, people seem more real here than those static profiles I see in my area every day. Old guys don't update anything.

Wonder when Match will kill this place off and make us ALL pay. I should not be such a pessimist......
 hearton64
Joined: 11/2/2015
Msg: 23
On older ladies
Posted: 11/5/2015 6:26:57 AM

I won't insult older women and say they are easy,
but they definitely have more...experience.


Ya' think? ; )

Why would being called "easy" be an insult.
Much better than "hard", no?

I pride myself on being an easy older woman!
My younger man likes me that way!
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 24
On older ladies
Posted: 11/5/2015 7:41:01 AM
The whole thing started with a weekend getaway.

Afterwards some very pointed questions were asked about my finances.

She mentioned that her former husband paid the mortgage and never asked her for a dime, and that I could get a larger place for the money I'm paying now.

This was coming from an entrepreneur with no medical, dental or life insurance.

She also said our relationship was in a holding pattern at the 2 month mark. I got a vibe she was trying to motivate me to 'make an offer' so to speak to move the relationship forward.

Well, yeah. I'm not about to proclaim my love for someone that is clearly looking for water above their own level.

I'm seeking someone that wants to build a future together.

At some point I also realized I was in it for the wrong reasons. I felt sorry for her.

I suspect she'll continue cycling through men until she gets the offer she's seeking.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. Y'all keep a stiff upper lip out there!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 25
On older ladies
Posted: 11/5/2015 7:48:47 AM

This was coming from an entrepreneur with no medical, dental or life insurance.


In other words. The guy did not leave her anything. No social security? Nothing.

It's sad that you can start to see these red flags and a person having a particular agenda. I was in one relationship that I was so stupid that I did not see the red flags and ended up going through hell for about 4 years. People around me, my sister, my brother, everyone saw it but me.

So, good for you that you saw the writing on the wall and decided to exit.
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