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 AUTHOR
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 1
Online dating women have the upper handPage 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Hello all
Does anyone think when it comes to online dating that women have the upper hand?

Or is it just the upper hand period.


In my opinion, I do think women hold the upper hand in most not all cases.

And the problem with that is men. We give in too fast or we wait out the door for too long to be let in instead of moving on. Just a small description without the details now.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 2
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 3:41:33 PM
I think it’s just the upper hand, period. You should know that by now. :D
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 3
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 3:47:22 PM
Absolutely NOT!!!..

From reading these forums and my own experiences.
1: Single men over 40 who are handsome, charming, employed and solvent have it the best.
2: Young, pretty women are second.
3: Older women next.
4: Then young men
5: Anyone fat or with lousy photos
6. MGTOW or people who whine or have their profile full of negativity


Does that help?

So that means, if you get some good photos that show you as the handsome man you are.
And message women within your demographic you will do very well.

p.s. Get a profile review.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 4
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 3:53:25 PM
well I guess I fit in the #5 category - I am over 40 and yes....a BBW....

nevermind the fact I am very, very educated, professional and have much to offer......

but guys don't want a woman like me........

So I guess that would put me....at #6.....but I have I to alter it to say....

I am a WGTOW........

and definitely NOT for lack of trying out here............online OR offline, for that matter.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 5
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:10:57 PM
Sadly, I agree with Castle :(
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 6
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:37:12 PM
Welcome back!!!


Op.
You have a choice.
At present with your poor photos and negative profile you are at the bottom.
If you rewrite your profile when you are in a good mood and ask a friend to take some photos of you well dressed, looking happy and handsome, and you contact ladies within your demographic I am certain you will see a massive difference.

You are lucky.
You have a choice.

The rest of us mere mortals do not.
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 7
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:46:22 PM
Are you referring to my profile and pictures? Do you find my profile negative?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 8
well, the least they could do is reach over with that hand and....
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:47:36 PM
Whether its sex, money, or food....if someone has something you want, they have the upper hand.

Spend two hours in the summer heat at a concert, and a vendor selling water for $5 a bottle will get your money if you're dying of thirst. Solving your problem is more important than what you're paying for it. But if you can wait until you get out and stop off at a gas station and only get ripped off $2 for a bottle of water....that vendor no longer has the upper hand on you.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 9
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History
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:48:51 PM
You can't be serious .... women don't have any upper hand, they are just the smartest species of the two. And thank goodness, if not for them, we would be left to our miserable selves, col (chuckle out loud )
 NYCKOSI
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 10
well, the least they could do is reach over with that hand and....
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:49:50 PM
Good answer hands go up and down
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 11
well, the least they could do is reach over with that hand and....
Posted: 11/18/2015 5:51:10 PM
Our biological imperative is such that MOST men are very easily "induced" into thinking with the little head instead of the big one. On a free site like Fish, "attractive" women [especially "fit" ones] will have the most choices/get the most mail. And likely become jaded the quickest.

But not ALL attractive women get tons of mail. Simply not true. One of many myths constantly perpetuated here.

The recipe for anyone to have success here is fairly simple and the same for both sexes.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 12
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History
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 6:07:11 PM
I am afraid with men it is all visual at least initially. They don't care a hoot about your education or intelligence if they don't want to bed you. They may appreciate you as a person but you would be friendzoned. That is the way it is and always has been.

In fact if a guy was overweight and so probably unhealthy, I would not care if he is intelligent, professional or whatever either, if I am looking for a romantic and/or sexual partner.

We can all go some way to losing weight if it is a problem.

And yes not all attractive women get tons of mail, neither do men who appear fit, attractive and professional either. It a myth. It depends on the location, demographic etc and really how many are genuinely looking or just playing games.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 13
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 6:41:56 PM

Does anyone think when it comes to online dating that women have the upper hand?

Or is it just the upper hand period.


I guess it matters how you define "upper hand", doesn't it?

I know a lot of women in my age group expect the man do the chasing/asking. So, by default, the man puts some form of effort into "opening the door". Now, we have all read and heard, by a lot by the way, that if there is "no spark", no matter how much a man tries, the door will be locked. Unless, of course, he has some magically way of "unlocking", and of course the "time". Most of guys, again my age, will just quickly turn and walk after the initial "no".

The woman has the right to say "yes" or "no". We've heard it, and been taught such. So, for anyone woman to say, that don't hold the hammer, they are lying, to themselves and others.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 14
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 6:54:19 PM

From reading these forums and my own experiences.
1: Single men over 40 who are handsome, charming, employed and solvent have it the best.


Does that help?


Not really.

Everywhere else you keep telling us all of these "perfect" guys are already married.

You left out #7 at the very bottom.

7. Single men over 55 with no photos who are very healthy, well-rounded, down to earth, low-maintenance, solvent, non-smoking, and have no kids, no illegal drug use, no diseases, no medications, no special diets, and no criminal record.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 8:34:17 PM
Gender has nothing to do with having the upper hand, some people are just much more willing to put up with someone who doesn't respect them, doesn't much want them, instead of finding someone who is a better match. If you weren't getting something out of all this, you wouldn't be a willing participant.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 16
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History
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 8:42:04 PM
You left #8 out - tangofish, feel sorry for me.

Thanks
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 17
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Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 8:50:20 PM

Does anyone think when it comes to online dating that women have the upper hand?


In your case, yes. They will decide to either accept or reject your advances.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 18
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 9:38:40 PM

The recipe for anyone to have success here is fairly simple and the same for both sexes.


^^ OK.
What is it?


And yes OP
You could improve your profile and have a full in box of ladies around your own age.
I think you are handsome and certainly would be with good photos.
However seeing your first one has you with significantly younger women I would not bother as I would think you are only interested in women half your own age.

 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 19
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 10:41:58 PM
How do women have the upper hand? Or men? Both parties have to be interested in order for anything to happen. Whoever is attractive and has what people want, that's who has the upper hand. Not all men are lookers and certainly not all women.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 20
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 11:26:09 PM
I posted this before, so here we go again.

Listen people, there are 4 main reasons why online dating does not work well for a lot of men.

1. Unbalanced ratios. In many age groups and areas there are more men who are active on a site than women. It is important to understand that inactive people don't really count. Females who are actually on the site frequently looking at matches and reading messages are the only ones that matter. If they are not active with the profile, it is like not having one at all. In an area where the guys out number the ladies 2-1 on a dating sight, even if every woman in that area decided to pair up with a guy from the site, that would still leave 50% of the guys empty handed....And that is a best case situation.

2. It makes guys look desperate. Studies have shown that women find men who pronounce their interests too early as being unattractive. Most women prefer a more gradual approach and a sort of give and take in the initial flirting stages. The fact that you are a guy using a dating sight is already like having one foot in the grave. Any lady that receives a message is looking at it as an instant declaration of your intention.

3. The lack of verbal and nonverbal communication. Men can be more visual than women, not that women don't look at appearance, but men are more likely to form a positive opinion with just a few pictures. Women are more tuned into other parts of physical attraction like eye contact, movement, and differing facial expressions. Having an actual verbal conversation is also more important to women. These facts are why a guy who may not be the most attractive can have a hard time online because a profile cannot always showcase other charms and positive attributes that he might have.

4. More and more women see OLD as a hostile environment. With more men being perverted and responding to women in a negative fashion as well as guys not always being honest, this has made women more hesitant to trust guys online. So,... even if you do have a great profile, many may not truly believe the information to be a true representation.

I am sure there are more reasons why OLD sucks for men and women but this is my list for the main reasons in regards to my fellow dudes.
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 21
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/18/2015 11:41:54 PM
Also....Look at the profile review section. See how many guys are asking for help because of the lack of responses versus women. Keep in mind that men still do most of the pursuing. Studies have shown that with online dating males make the first contact over 80% of the time. The technology has changed but many of the courtship traditions have not. I have some success IRL...OLD is a garbage dump. In my area it is the same ladies that have been on here for years. I guess they have not found mr. right yet....oh well.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 22
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Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/19/2015 12:55:30 AM
single men over 40 who are handsome, charming, employed and solvent don't have to come online to find women unless they are also liars, cheats, sociopaths or just looking for numbers. Makes sense, right?.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 23
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/19/2015 1:36:12 AM
I fit into the same as dpwesu...
Mature women, who are educated with a profession need to be gorgeous and look and act like a 20 year old bimbo.
Hence the cosmetics and cosmetic surgery industry.
Bottom of the pack.

Again. Not for lack of trying.
Looks like both of us have given up and are only here for the forums.



 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 24
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/19/2015 4:06:03 AM

single men over 40 who are handsome, charming, employed and solvent don't have to come online to find women unless they are also liars, cheats, sociopaths or just looking for numbers



Walts looks in the mirror and yep, agrees. Thinks the above is a "perfect" description of himself.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 25
Online dating women have the upper hand
Posted: 11/19/2015 4:26:50 AM
OP, you should spend time pursuing the people whom are attracted and in interested in you, rather than concerning yourself with what disinterested people think, want, and do....
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